Somebody tell me a joke, I want to hear it. 5

One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where do China's rivers flow?

One of the students stood up and sang, "The river flows eastward."

The teacher ignored him, and then said, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou.

The teacher was angry: You get out of here!

Student: Let's go.

The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?

Student: You have me, I have it all!

Teacher: Try one more thing.

Student: When the road is uneven, I roar!

Teacher: Do you believe that I beat you up?

Student: Shoot when it's time to strike.

The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school!

Student: Stormy Kyushu.

One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming what one plus one was equal, and Xiao Ming said he didn't know. The teacher told him to go home and ask the parents. Xiao Ming asked his father:

What is one plus one? Dad was reading the newspaper: "Three, the United States is big."

Xiao Ming asked his mother, who was playing poker: "Let's go!" ”

I'll be waiting for you downstairs! Xiao Ming asked his sister, who was eating popsicles: "Cool!"

Xiao Ming asked his grandfather, who was a fool: "My family lives in a thatched house, babbling!" The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming:

What is one plus one? ”

Xiao Ming said, "Three." ”

Who told you that? ”

American Great**. ”

Where is he? "Gone. ”

How to get there? ”

Exhausted! "You give me to stand under the school building! ”

I'll be waiting for you downstairs! ”

How are you feeling right now? ”

Cool! The teacher's face changed with anger: "Where is your home?" I'm going to find your mom and dad! ”

Xiao Ming grinned: "My family lives in the thatched house, babbling and babbling!" ”

The teacher is mad!

Xiao Ming was called by the teacher to answer the question, Xiao Ming couldn't answer, the teacher asked him to ask his family, Xiao Ming went home to ask his sister, but his sister was playing ** with her brother-in-law, sister: dear, kiss it, he went to ask his brother again But his brother was playing a game, brother: Come again, he went to ask his mother again, but his mother was playing cards, mother:

Whiteboard, Xiao Ming finally asked his father, but his father was watching Journey to the West, and his father: White Bone Spirit. Xiao Ming happily returned to the classroom, the teacher asked Xiao Ming if he had asked, Xiao Ming said that he had asked, teacher:

Then you tell me the answer to my question, Xiao Ming: Kiss, the teacher slapped Xiao Ming in the face, Xiao Ming: Come again, teacher:

What is the red on your face, Xiao Ming: Whiteboard, Teacher: Who taught you what you say, Xiao Ming:

White Bone Spirit!!

Xiaoming hates writing essays the most, one day, the teacher left a piece of "My Grandpa", he saw that there was a "My Sister" in the essay anthology, he changed all his sisters to grandfathers, and finally wrote it like this, I have a lovely grandfather, wearing a floral skirt all day long, tied with two pigtails ......Speechless

I accidentally dropped my eyes into the toilet last night, and after looking for a long time, I finally fished out my eyes, a little poop, and wiped the poop on my eyes with a papa, hey, it was bright, and I went to sleep happily.

One day, Linda and her husband were hunting flies. Linda asked, "Did you hit it?" "It's hit. 3 males, 2 females" "Why? "Three on beer cans and two on **. ”“

Do you have a collection of jokes?

A tough brother was pulled to the corridor by the teacher during class (this is a blind spot in sight)!

The words do not match, and the teacher wants to fist and kick each other.

The tough brother shouted: "You dare to hit someone??!

Teacher: "What's wrong with beating you, does anyone know that I hit you?" Does anyone know! "As soon as Brother Strong changed his mind, the teacher was sent to the hospital later!

Yesterday, I chatted with my husband, and when it came to women's aesthetics, I quarreled, and my husband actually said that the women I like are ugly. So I got angry and roared in a rather angry way: "The woman you like is ugly!"

The woman you like is the biggest ugly thing in the world!!

When a student climbed over the wall and left the school, the teacher saw it and said, "Stop!" ”

The student says "No! Humans can't stop me anymore! ”

The teacher said, "I'm not human. ”

The student said, "Neither can the beasts...

The teacher said, "I'm not as good as a beast...

The politics teacher once said in a lecture, "Let me give you an analogy," and then he felt that it was wrong and said, "Give me an example."

Waking up early can really do a lot of things, like getting some more sleep.

A woman takes leave.

The banknote went to buy it early, and the vendor was annoyed, and said very seriously: Sister, forget about the counterfeit banknotes, at least they are printed, and your banknotes are actually painted!

Even if you take 10,000 steps back, you can draw a ten-dollar or five-dollar one, right? You gave the painting back seven pieces!

Seven pieces are seven pieces, not to mention, at least you have to draw color, you actually use a pencil to draw! Forget it, I'll put up with it! Black and white is black and white!

You can't draw it with hand-paper! The feel is too bad. Even if it's a piece of paper, I admit it!

You have to use scissors to cut the edges, this one is torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated. Okay, I don't want to talk about the raw edges.

But you also tear a rectangle! This triangle is too much to say!

Who is knocking on my window again, who is still knocking on my window again, who is still knocking on my window. the next product that i saw yesterday . A song is being sung...

1. Dad: "What kind of cigarettes did you smoke at a young age, don't quit quickly." ”

Son: "You've been smoking for decades, why haven't you quit?" ”

Dad: "I'm old, it doesn't matter if I quit or not. ”

Son: "I'm young, it's too late to quit later." 2. After dinner, the father asked his son, "Did the teacher leave homework today?" ”

The son replied, "Yes." ”

Dad sighed and said, "Alas, I have to wash the dishes again." 3. At the reception, a woman asked the man next to her, "Who is that ugly monster opposite?" ”

The woman said, "I'm sorry, you look so alike, why didn't I see it?" 4. A young man is trying to confess his heart to the girl he loves.

Although I'm not as rich as Bill; Although I don't have the luxury home and car that Bill owns; Although I can't buy you beautiful diamonds and pearls like Bill can. But I love you. ”

The girl said, "Is Bill married?" 5. The woman sitting behind me holding the little boy looked very familiar, and in order to get close to her, I flattered: "Hi! This little guy looks like your husband. ”

The woman looked at me strangely and replied, "This is my neighbor's child. ”

."What's your name? "Jiang Yingyu. ”“what's your name?”