Let s all tell a joke, tell a joke

1. Son: "Go to my grandmother to pay a New Year's greeting, what should I take?" ”

Mother: "Little children don't pick up things when they go out. ”

Son: "When I went to my grandmother's house last year to pay New Year's greetings, didn't you say that children were allowed to take 10 catties of things?" ”

Mom: "This year, your mission is to get it when you come back from grandma's house." ”

2. At noon that day, it was too hot, so I made tea and drank it, so my father made a cup and served it.

Dad took the tea and asked with a wary face, "How much is a cup of this tea?!" ”

3. A student was late for school, and the teacher invited the parents to ask the reason, and his mother said: "This is a disease brought by the womb, and he was born 8 days after the expected date of delivery." ”

4. When I was in elementary school, I once lent a video tape to my tablemate.

When I went home to look at it, I saw a line that read, "Teenagers under the age of 18, please be accompanied by their parents**", and then quickly ran to find their parents.

Later, I spent almost a whole week in my nose and swollen face.

This is what happens to obedient children.

Once upon a time I walked with matches in the desert, and I felt that my head was itchy, so I scratched it, and then it caught fire.

A bun, when he was hungry while walking, he ate himself.

Complaining: On the platform of the station, a husband and wife are complaining to each other. The husband looked at the car that had already left and said to his wife, "It's all your fault!" If it weren't for your hard work, we could have gotten on this train. ”

It's all your fault! The wife replied, "If it weren't for your insistence, we wouldn't have had to wait a lot of time for the next train." ”

The teacher was angry: One day, the teacher walked into the class, and the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" The teacher said indignantly: Just call good morning? What about my afternoon? Isn't it bad? ”

Then the students shouted in unison: "Good afternoon, teacher!" ”

The teacher said indignantly, "What about me at night? ”

The students shouted in unison: "Teacher, it's okay at night!" ”

The teacher nodded and said, "That's it, now shout again!" ”

The students shouted in unison: "Good morning, good afternoon, good afternoon, good evening, teacher!"

The teacher said, "Sit down!" Today we are going to review antonyms, we practice like this, I say that you should not speak, will - 10 points! , you say the antonyms out loud. Start now.

Teacher: "The weather is fine today. Student: "It's a bad day. ”

Teacher: "It's sunny everywhere. Student: "It's cloudy everywhere. ”

Teacher: "The road is crowded. Student: "The road is empty. ”

Teacher: "Young. Student: "Old." ”

Teacher: "Stand." Student: "Lie down".

Teacher: "There was a young man standing on the road. Student: "There's an old man lying down on the road. ”

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar." Student: "I lost a dollar." ”

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar and gave it to the teacher." Student: "I lost a dollar and went to steal the teacher." Teacher: "Wrong, you can't say that!" Student: "That's right, that's what you should say!" ”

Teacher: "Wrong. Student: "Correct." ”

Teacher: "It's not okay, it's illegal; Student: "That's okay, it's legal!" ”

Teacher: "I said it wrong. Student: "We said it right. ”

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is correct!" Student: "Listen to us, what the teacher says is wrong!" ”

Teacher: "You are stupid. Student: "We're smart. ”

Teacher: "Stop! Student: "Go ahead!" ”

Teacher: "Stop now!" Stop it! Student: "Let's move on now!" And more! ”

Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" Student: "We're all geniuses, we say go ahead!" ”

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher!" Student: "Teacher listens to us!" ”

Teacher: "Students have to listen to the teacher!" Student: "Teachers have to listen to students!" ”

Teacher: "Now stop practicing!" Student: "Now let's keep practicing!" ”

Teacher: "Are you all endless?" Student: "We have a beginning and an end!" ”

Teacher: "Then you stop!" Stupid pig! Student: "Then let's move on!" Talented! ”

1.The principal and the English teacher visited a middle school in France together, the principal spoke in the auditorium, and the English teacher acted as an interpreter. Principal:

Dear teachers and students, English teacher: "ladies and gentlemen!"

Headmaster: "Ladies and gentlemen! The English teacher thought for a moment and said

good morning！Headmaster: "Good morning!

English Teacher: ......=="Khan 2He said that there was a polar bear, because the snow was so dazzling, that he had to wear sunglasses to see things, but he couldn't find the sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, crawling and crawling, crawling and crawling dirty to find sunglasses.

Put on your sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to realize: Oh, it turns out that I am a panda 3A polar bear was lonely on the ice in a daze, and when he was bored, he began to pluck his own hair and play, one, two, three, and finally there was no one left, and then he died of cold.

4.Once upon a time there was a bird who would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately one day there was a fire in that cornfield and all the corn turned into popcorn! The bird flew over and ......I thought it was snowing, and I died of cold.

I'll tell you a joke, uh. The joke is too long, so I'll laugh at you. Hahahahahahahahaha

If I don't tell you, your wife will bear me.