Can anyone tell me a bad joke? Who told me the coldest joke?

One day, Xiao Ming was walking on the road and suddenly felt that his feet were sore. You know why?

Because he stepped on a lemon.

Son: Dad, it's so cold in the room.

Dad: You can stand in the corner.

Son: Why...?

Dad: The corners of the wall are 90 degrees.

Son: Dad, it's still cold.

Dad: Lie on the ground.

Son: Why?

Son: It's 180 degrees on the ground.

Son: Dad, it's still cold.

Dad: Take a spin on the spot.

Son: Why?

Dad: It's 360 degrees in a lap.

Claim compensation.

A young man receives a letter from his girlfriend that says, "Although our relationship is over, you must compensate me for four years of lost youth ......."”

The young man replied with a text message: "Honey, I can't give out this money because you are not insured. ”

Friends of the New Year. A man said to his new girlfriend, "If you insist on not telling your age, I will have to tell others that I have forgotten you for a long time." ”

A young man and a woman who are chemistry fans are in love. The man was studying chemistry at this time, and he was working very hard. In the park, other lovers are in love, but he writes chemical formulas for his girlfriend on the grass.

In order to attract his attention, his girlfriend specially wore a bright flower dress one day. As soon as they met, he really looked at his girlfriend's clothes with envy, and shouted: "This dress is so beautiful."

The girlfriend thought, "It's hard to get him hooked." However, unexpectedly, he immediately said:

The picture on it is full of desirable benzene circles. ”

The bull ran to the cow grazing on the side of the road and shouted, "Run, the expert is coming." "Cow:

What are you afraid of, aren't experts human? Bulls: The current experts are bragging.

When the cow heard this, she also ran happily, and asked the bull as she ran: Expert, they brag b, you are a bull, what are you running? The bull said with wide eyes and panting

Today's experts don't just bragIt's going to be!

Hee Hee and Ha Ha are good friends, very good friends! One day, haha died. Hee Hee was very sad, came to Haha's grave and said: Haha...You're dead!

1.I was shopping with my friends and saw a lot of people lined up in front of a bubble tea shop. In order to try it, we also lined up to buy two glasses.

We drank as we walked. When the cup was about to be eaten, a friend suddenly said: "This pimple soup is too unpalatable!" ”

2.Someone brings his girlfriend back, and his friend sees her and feels familiar.

Girl, what was your previous profession? How do I look more familiar the more I look at it? "Import and export. "Wow! Come to think of it, remember it, you still sold me vegetables! ”

3.A teenage boy was lounging on the couch watching TV when the bell rang. "Son, where is your mother?

She's mopping the floor. The father exclaimed, "What? She sprained her lower back just right, don't you know?

4.There was a man who left a guest to drink tea, and because there was no tea leaves, he went to a neighbor's house to borrow it. For a long time, the neighbor did not send it, and the water was boiled, but it was not brought, so I had no choice but to keep adding cold water to the pot.

After a long time, the water in the pot was full, and the tea was not delivered, and the wife said to her husband, "The tea is not ready, so it is better to leave him to take a bath." ”

5.One day, the teacher asked the kindergarten baby, "Baby, why is your hair curly?"

The baby looks. Sure enough, the other children have straight hair, why is that? Suddenly the little baby understood, winked his eyes and said:

Teacher, when I was still in my mother's belly, my mother drank boiling water and scalded it. ”

It's 'yes'" Xiao Ming pointed two fingers down again and said, "Then guess what this is" Xiao Hong thought for a while and said, "I don't know......Xiao Ming was proud and said, "This is 'falling leaves'"....

1.Once upon a time there was a man named Xiao Cai, who was left out overnight and rancid.

Listened to the joke. I got chilblains.

Once upon a time there was a man named **, and one day he hung up.

Yesterday I said to my sister who sells hot dogs, "Give me hot dogs all the time." One of the grandfathers next to him said, "Give me a cold cat."

A student in the United States to take a driver's license, the road sign in front of the prompt to turn left, he is not very sure, ask the examiner:

turn left?”

Answer: "right".

So ......Hung up.

A pie maniac fell down the street.

Why didn't Cao Cao dare to take a plane (absolutely hilarious)!

It is said that once Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan, and Cao Cao were on the same plane, and suddenly encountered an emergency and needed to parachute.

Escape. Only then did it turn out that there were only three parachute bags left on board. Everyone was nervous for a while, and then they saw Zhuge Liang shaking his feathers.

Fan, cleared his throat and said: "That's it, the mountain people come up with a few questions, and if they can answer them, they will parachute, and if they can't answer them, they have to do it themselves."

Jumped off. The others had no choice but to agree.

He also took an umbrella bag and went down. In the end, it was Cao Cao's turn. Zhuge Liang asked, "How many stars are there in the sky?"Cao Cao was stunned.

Self-rejoicing. The second time four people encountered an emergency on the plane, the four of them discussed, yes, it's the old way. Zhuge Liang shook again.

The battle. Zhuge Liang nodded, so Liu Bei took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again: "That battle is dead."

How many people?Sun Quan thought for a while and said, "There are about thirty or forty thousand." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Sun Quan took an umbrella bag and went down.

Cao Cao couldn't help but snicker: "Zhuge Liang, Zhuge Liang, I have been through the past and the present, especially in the military, this time you are planted."

Finish. I saw Zhuge Liang ask: "What are the names of the soldiers?"Cao Cao almost fainted when he heard this, so he had to jump down by himself, but he didn't expect to jump into the sea again and pick up a life, Cao Cao laughed secretly.

The third time, the same four people took the plane, and the plane encountered an emergency again, Cao Cao thought about it, Zhuge Lao'er wanted to fix me again, do it.

Simply I jumped down and forgot it myself, so as not to be insulted. So he jumped down, and in the high-speed descent in the air, he could only hear Zhuge Liang shouting to him above: "Mengde, there are four parachutes on the plane today!."”

There was a rat that went to the gas tank to smoke and died!

Are you cold, cold.

Well, go to the corner, the corner has 90°