Tell me a few jokes, and who s going to tell me some jokes?

What happens when a banana jumps from the 20th floor? Eggplant.

A waitress stood at the counter and cut a piece of cloth into two-foot-long strips according to the customer's request, and then, according to the customer's request, knotted all the strips, and halfway through the beating, the waitress finally couldn't stand it anymore and said, "Do you have a nervous disorder?" The customer said categorically

yes, I still have a hospital certificate for that.

A man rode a horse, went hunting with a hunting dog, walked for a while, and the dog was tired, and said: "Master master."

I'm so tired, can I take a break? ”

Suddenly the horse ran very fast, and after a while threw off the hound, and when he saw that the dog had not caught up, he said to his master, "It is good that the dog can speak," he said

Suddenly, the master dismounted and fled, muttering to himself:

It's good to run fast.

Damn the horse, too, can speak.

1. Xiao Ming: Mom, I almost saw my dad today.

Mother: When you see it, you see it, why is it so close?

Xiao Ming: Dad's license plate number is 16888, and the one I saw is 16887.

2. Employees: How dark are the steamed buns today? Cook: This is done on the night shift.

3. When a customer drinks in a bar, he always drinks two or two glasses. The usher asked him, "Why don't you want a big glass?" The customer smiled and said: I have quit drinking, I don't drink a glass.

4. There is a student named Shi Jingchao in a certain class. During an exam, the head teacher accidentally discovered that student Shi Jingchao was plagiarizing the answers of the test papers at the same table. The teacher was furious:

Shi Jingchao! (Copy it hard!) After hearing this, the middle school students in the class looked up to the cheating and copied it vigorously.

The teacher saw that the students had misunderstood, and quickly explained: "Don't copy it, I'm calling that classmate (the teacher pointed to Shi Jingchao), Shi Jingchao!" (Copy it hard!)

This time, Shi Jingchao copied it even more fiercely.

5. A person bought a new car, and his license plate number is 00544 (move me to try). Soon after, his car was hit by another car with license plate number 44944 (just try it).

6. Kindergarten teacher Xiaofang pointed to the blackboard m, a, y, d, b pinyin test children, the children with the most standard pronunciation said: "touch-a-aunt-of-wave."

Kobayashi's father was the deputy director of a prison. One day, my mother took Lin to buy something.

When the cashier asked him if he often came to play with his mother, Lin Lin replied, "Yes, because my father is in prison every day."

The teacher asked everyone to fill in a ** and solemnly explained that they could not fill in the wrong form. A certain classmate added the ethnic "Han" to the gender column, and the classmate was shocked, but the teacher said that it could not be changed, so he added a "son" after "Han" very seriously

The couple was sitting in the car, and the husband was driving.

The wife asked, "Don't you think we're lost?" ”

What basis do you have? ”

We've already run this dead dog half an hour ago. ”

The son accidentally fell and broke a bone, and his parents were anxious to send him to the hospital for examination, and the son was most afraid of going to the hospital, so he hurriedly said: "No, I don't want to go to the hospital, just use double-sided tape."

The Chinese student had a car accident on a highway abroad, and even the person and the car fell off the cliff, and the traffic police arrived and shouted down

how are you？”

The international student replied: "I'm fine, thank you!" ”

Then the traffic police left, and the international student died.

Go to the 764127573 space and see for yourself There are a lot of hilarious logs that make sure you laugh.

A king wants to marry a princess, put an apple on the princess's head, and whoever wants to shoot it has a chance to marry the princess.

The first man shot the apple and he said, "i'm Robin." ”

The second man also shot the apple, and he said, "I."'m Houyi. ”

.The third gentleman accidentally shot the princess to death, and he said, "i'm sorry..."

A: "What are you doing with duct tape?" ”

B: "When I went shopping in the morning and found a torn one-dollar bill, I wanted to buy a piece of tape to stick it on." ”

A: "Then why isn't it sticky?" ”

B: "I spent that dollar when I bought the tape, and now I don't know what to do with it." ”

The new physics teacher, every time the class starts, the classmate: "The emperor is auspicious." Teacher: "Zhong Aiqing's face is free of courtesy." Classmate: "Emperor Xie." ”

Later it was known by the stern old class.

In class again, the physics teacher: "Students, I don't want to be the emperor, because most emperors are short-lived." ”

A strange classmate continued: "My emperor has died." There was a whine in the classroom.

The teacher was petrified.

A farmer who had a pig and one day asked someone, "If I kill myself, who will break my heart?" Who would laugh heartlessly?

Someone next to me said, "Your pigs are going to tear their hearts out." ”

The man asked, "Why?" ”

The man asked again, "And who is going to laugh heartlessly?" ”

The man asked, "Why?" ”

When I was a child, I called my father, and then I ate while crying, and I ate a bowl of white rice and tears, and in order to show my backbone, I didn't touch any chopsticks on the table. After eating, I hid in the room and was wronged, and suddenly my parents quarreled, and I listened quietly at the door, and I heard my father say, "Why don't you give her meat?!"

Why don't you give her meat?! ”

Xiao Ming often makes typos. Once, he made another typo, and his father hit him severely. Uncle looked at it and said:

Children, it's normal to make mistakes, don't be so harsh. Dad was so angry that his face was flushed: "He always writes "Ancestors and Ancestors" as "Inferior Ancestors and Inferior Ancestors", do you think I can not be angry!" ”

Dragonfly befriended his girlfriend "Cicada". Dragonfly's mother asked worriedly: What is her job? Dragonfly: That's a singer! Dragonfly Mom: Singer? I used to dig tunnels!

Once upon a time there was a guy who liked to hit ** very much, and then he hung up.

Life is like an electrocardiogram, you want to be smooth sailing unless you die.

Once upon a time there was a man who told a joke and died laughing himself.

1.Someone said: There are two kinds of people I hate the most in my life, one is racist people, the other is black people, and the third is illiterate people.

2.It turns out that the ambulance in English is called "ambulance" - the Chinese pronunciation is: 俺 can't die. I remembered it all at once!

Non-original. If you think it's funny, remember it.

An army was conducting a military exercise, and accidentally a bomb fell on a resident's house.

Everyone is scrambling to save people.

Find an old man in the ruins. But after the old man was rescued, he couldn't stop laughing. Everyone thought he was frightened and rushed him to the hospital.

The doctor examined and said there were no injuries.

The crowd was shocked. Old man: Hahaha, I sat on the toilet and let out a fart, and the house collapsed.

There were 800 people who were scheduled to fight, so why were there only 300 left???

Because Wu Bai sang and went.

One day, Xiaoming's mother asked him to buy peppercorns, and Xiaoming thought while walking, and suddenly he was in a heel, and he said that it was a plane party.

1. One day, Xiaohong said to her aunt: "Auntie, your face looks like a peach!" My aunt happily asked, "How is it like?" "Both have hair. (Self-ed.).

No plagiarism unless you pay for the manuscript!!

A funeral team blows: "Always go home to see"!