Why did ancient women have to be locked up in their homes for 3 months before they got married?

The girl will eventually choose to marry someone who is willing to accompany her, while the boy will make up for the debt of his ex to another woman. The order of appearance in life is very important, and the person who accompanies you when you are drunk is destined not to accompany you home.

In the three months before marriage, women should be taught women's virtues, women's words, women's appearance, and women's skills, in order to teach women the virtues of "women's obedience".

It was a custom of the feudal system.

In the past, women's social status was very low, they were dependent on men, they belonged to men's accessories, and they were part of men's assets. A man who is an official is sentenced to exile if he commits a crime. Wives and children must also be exiled with them, because women are only assets belonging to men, and have no right to choose.

After a woman marries, she follows her husband's family name, which is a manifestation of a patriarchal society and represents the status of men in the family. In ancient times, women did not have names, unlike men who had names and characters, women only had one surname. For example, the surname Zhang becomes Zhang's.

If there are more than one child in the family, a nickname will be given in order to distinguish them.

After getting married, she will put her husband's surname in front, for example, her husband's surname is Wang, and her original surname is Chen, so it becomes Wang Chen. That's the woman's name, and that's what everyone calls her. Some husbands are more affectionate, or value their wives, and will give their wives a nickname or a nickname.

In ancient times, women paid attention to "three obedience and four virtues", and they had to follow the "father" before they got married, and they had to follow the "husband" after they got married, and they never had their own position. Perhaps because of this, the ancients believed that women did not need names.

Moreover, the ancients believed that the daughter who married out was the water that was spilled, and everything in the future should be based on the husband's family. Putting your husband's last name in front of you is a constant reminder of this. Even if a woman dies one day, the name engraved on the tombstone will be the husband's surname in front.

It can be seen from here that in the past, the status of women was really very, very low, and men could trample and humiliate at will. In addition, in the past, many people were blind and dumb marriages, and once they got married, they didn't even have a chance to regret it, and many women lived an extremely pitiful life.

This has a lot to do with the ancient ideas of male superiority and inferiority, three obedience and four virtues.

After a woman marries a man, she is a man's person, and she will take her husband's surname.

The Confucian culture of Confucius advocated in ancient China has similar ideas such as marrying a chicken and marrying a dog, so a woman should marry her husband's surname.

This is because in ancient times, people were more patriarchal. It is believed that when a woman marries into her husband's family, she should take her husband's surname to show that she has become a member of the man's family.

In ancient China's feudal society, women had no status, that is, the so-called marrying a chicken with a chicken, marrying a dog and a dog, in order to reflect the dignity of male status. Secondly, in the old society, it was men who earned money to support their families, and women rarely showed up, which was also a kind of respect for women for their husbands.

In ancient times, the development of patrilineal clans took a long time, and the status of male superiority and female inferiority was dominant, so more attention was paid to the status of men.

At present, this is also the case in Taiwan and some foreign countries, and there may be a kind of meaning of marrying a chicken and a dog and marrying a dog.

Chinese wedding customs.

Traditional Chinese wedding customs are roughly modeled after the six ancient rites: Nacai (giving gifts and proposing), asking for names (asking for the woman's name and age), Naji (giving gifts and engagements), Nazheng (giving dowry gifts), asking for a period (agreeing on the marriage date), and welcoming (the groom marries the bride); and sedan chairs, scarves, joint (husband and wife drink a wine together), noisy rooms and other forms. However, when talking about marriage, we must follow "the orders of our parents and the words of the matchmakers", and there is no freedom of marriage for young people.

First of all, the "matchmaker's wife" said that the "door is right", and the door is not appropriate and the household is not right. Then exchange the time and eight characters with each other, ask the fortune teller to divination, if the two lives are mutually restrictive, no matter how good the two are, they must break up; If the two lives depend on each other, the two will marry no matter how unwilling they are. After the parents of both parties agree, the children can obey their orders, otherwise it will be a great rebellion.

Then, the man "passed the Wending", that is, he sent the woman to the "Wending Letter" to agree on the engagement date, marriage date, etc.; At the same time, the "Wending Gift" will be sent. After completing the above series of procedures, it is time to welcome the family.

The scene of welcoming relatives is very exquisite, and no matter how poor the family is, it must be whitewashed. Rich or poor, the bridegroom must perform a "crown" ceremony on the eve of the wedding. On the day of the wedding, you must get up on the sedan chair on time and go to the woman's house to pick up the bride.

The bride wears a phoenix crown, and the phoenix crown is covered with a red headscarf, wearing a xia cloak, wearing a set of white Tang dress shirts and pants, and wearing a red shirt and green skirt (if the parents are not alive, change to a blue shirt and black skirt), symbolizing both civil and military affairs. Wear white rites on your feet, and you can't wear shoes, so as not to "step down" on the man's family. Cover your face with a red turban.

Accompanied by the eldest sister (the bridesmaid of the woman in the old-style wedding, named because she wears a cardigan, she guides the etiquette from the eve of the wedding to the man's family for 10 days after marrying) to get on the sedan chair. Along the way, the honor guard led the way, the band played, and the scene was very lively. When the sedan chair arrives at the man's house, the groom must kick open the door of the sedan chair and knock the bride's head with a folding fan, indicating that he must be obedient and obedient after entering the house, showing the male "authority".

After entering the door, the first thing is to kneel and offer tea to the elders. On this day, a large banquet is indispensable, with a feast for relatives, friends, and neighbors, and a glass of wine for the bride and groom. After the evening, young people make a big fuss about the new house.

There are many ways to say it.

1 The king of the Shang Dynasty was named the god of "Xishen", but his color did not change, so he snatched the bride in order to prevent him from seeing that the bride was beautiful, so he covered it with red.

In order to make human beings reproduce, only the two brothers and sisters could get married, but everyone knew that this was not possible, so Nuwa covered her head with a red belly pocket to cover her shame, which later evolved into a red hijab.

3 In fact, customs are also the crystallization of the wisdom of the working people, customs are the practice of convenience in the past, and later evolved into rules and regulations, at first for what there are different opinions, more often heard is to not let the bride remember the way home, this is the imprisonment of women, now it is the meaning of festivity.

And modern commodity packaging a truth!

Nowadays, there are many girls in the countryside who marry and have an open face. It's all a local custom.

This is actually not true, the so-called "ancient women did not go out" is divided into time periods.

Women are not encouraged to go out, which is actually an extension of the "three obedience and four virtues": women need to obey men, so they are not allowed to go out without men's permission; Women need to behave in a dignified and steady manner, so they should not be easily seen, lest they be seen as unstable and outward-looking. The idea of "three obedience and four virtues" can be found in the Pentateuch, but for a long time, it was not recognized.

In fact, before the Song Dynasty, especially in the Jin and Tang dynasties, it was a very normal behavior for women to go out to do things, and it was very common to take care of small shops and small businesses to supplement the family. What is particularly special is that there was a space for ordinary women's social communication in the Tang Dynasty. Since the Song Dynasty, women have been really required not to go out, and it has really become a social consensus in the Ming and Qing dynasties.

Because of ancient feudalism, when a woman goes out, she shows her head, and is regarded as unstable and dignified, and she will not marry.

Because in ancient times, if you go out without marrying, it is regarded as showing your head, and no one will marry in the future, and you must ignore the boudoir before getting married.

Why do you need to look at eight characters in traditional marriages?

China is a country deeply influenced by traditional culture, and from a very early on, it has paid attention to the "eight characters" of marriage, mainly because men have yang, women have yin, and both men and women have five kinds of life: metal, water, wood, earth, and fire. Therefore, the marriage of men and women is essentially the result of the mutual birth and harmony of the five elements of yin and yang. In marriage, there are male wives, female husbands, male wives, and female husbands.

When it comes to men and women, there are: men's lives should be prosperous, prosperity is blessing, and decline is disaster. Women's lives are declining, declining is blessed, and prosperity is disaster.

Softness is a blessing, and rigidity is a disaster. This is in line with the theory of masculinity and femininity. If the woman is strong and the woman is prosperous, and the man is weak and the man is soft, this is called the reversal of yin and yang, which violates the law of yin and yang, and of course there is a disaster.

Why do some couples love each other as much as ever and grow old together? Some couples are as deep as the sea, but they are widowed halfway; Why do some husbands and wives gather first and then disperse, unite first and then divide, love first and then enemies, and even split the mandarin ducks. This is all the result of the five elements of yin and yang in marriage. Therefore, in ancient times, our people began to pay attention to this problem, and they must see whether the eight characters are compatible before getting married.

How to read the marriage information from the eight characters.

In long-term research and observation, it has been found that although there are many reasons for divorce in family marriage, it has been found through research that most of them are due to the greater influence of the year pillar, that is, the zodiac. As the first of the four pillars, the year pillar has a greater impact on marriage. The main reason why couples who love each other and grow old together from the beginning to the end, or who have quarrels with each other but can still stay together until old age, is that their years are compatible.

Why the husband and wife are not afraid of the year pillar of the husband and wife, just because the year pillar is the foundation, the roots of the two trees are born together, it must be a solid foundation, not easy to separate, not afraid of harm, on the contrary, the husband and wife are not compatible, even if the year is born together, there are auspicious stars in the column, but the foundation is not stable, it must be the root of the dead tree, leading to the tragedy of marriage.

The influence of the eight characters in women's marriage.

In ancient times, women's economy could not be independent, and whether there was luck or not mainly looked at the husband and children, and the husband or children were blessed, and the woman was blessed. Women obey their husbands, husbands and wives are also noble, and husbands and wives are also poor. That is to say, if the husband becomes rich, the wife will also be rich, and when the husband is promoted, the wife will be expensive, the husband will be unlucky, and the wife's life will not be easy, which is also true in real life.

Now the status of women is constantly improving, and the original ** method is somewhat different. Nowadays, women's marriage can no longer be based on the husband and the star, but should be based on their own destiny, mainly to measure the talent of the spouse, the future of the spouse, the appearance of the spouse, and the time of marriage. But the influence of Bazi on women's marriage is still very large. Facts:

Yes! A 15-year-old ancient woman should be very young! But the older people are, the younger they get married, which is an eternal truth.

For example, the average lifespan of the ancestor of humans, Australopithecus, was only fifteen years, and the males were slightly longer. More than 400,000 years ago, the average life expectancy of Beijingers was more than 20 years. The average life expectancy of ancient people 1,000 years ago was about 40 years.

In ancient times, 47 years old was called "late journey", because the average life expectancy of the ancients was not very long, and the average person was called old after the age of 40 (Du Fu's "Three Songs of Qiang Village" in "Forced to Steal Life in Old Age" and Su Shi's "Jiangchengzi Mizhou Hunting" "Old Man Talks about Juvenile Madness", the former is 46 years old, and the latter is 38 years old, the same is true).

If the ancients had married at the age of 30 now, how many orphans would there be! Humans are constantly evolving and getting smarter. The longer it will take to become an adult.

Beijingers are adults before the age of ten and can get married, but 20-year-old Beijingers are far less intelligent than modern 20-year-olds, which is the result of evolution. I don't know if the landlord understands.

The average life expectancy of the ancients was much lower than that of today's people, and the premature mortality rate was high in ancient times, and the population was often drastically reduced by plagues and wars. "The Yellow Emperor's Inner Canon. Su Wen":

The woman is twenty-seven and the sky is to, Ren is connected, Taichong is prosperous, and the moon is in the present, so there is a child; The husband is eight years old, with strong kidneys and long teeth; Twenty-eight, the kidney is vigorous, the sky is full, the essence is overflowing, yin and yang are harmonious, so there can be children". This means that men are fertile at the age of 16 and women are fertile at the age of 14 and can get married. Qi Henggong once ordered "the husband is twenty years old, and the woman is fifteen years old".

Confucius advocated that "a man is twenty and crowned, and he has the end of being a father; The woman is fifteen years old, and there is a suitable way. In this way, they are self-married. Mozi said

In the past, the holy king said for the law: The husband is twenty years old, and he does not dare to be at home, and the woman is fifteen years old, and he does not dare to be innocent. Mozi explained:

Those who want to stay home early have been at home for 20 years: those who want to be home later have been at home for 40 years. With its sooner or later practice, the law of the holy king is ten years.

If it is pure three years, it can be two or three years. That is to say, if one child is born in three years and ten years of early marriage, three children can be born early. However, because it is not easy to train their daughters to become laborers, parents still want their daughters to make more contributions to the family, and parents do not want their daughters to marry and leave the family too early.

In this case, the ruler used the law to set the upper age for marriage (the current marriage law sets the minimum age for marriage) to prevent late marriage. ～