Are all the conflicts in the second child family because Dabao is selfish?

The opening of the second child is not a problem, but there is more and more discussion about the differences between the two children in the family with the second child, and most of the discussion is complaining about the eldest son in the family.

Many parents believe that the eldest son, despite his older age, is no wiser than the second child and sometimes even behaves selfishly, irritating the parents.

There are also many parents who complain that Dabao always wants a younger brother or sister to play with him, but after the birth of his second child, he is not friendly to his younger siblings and even does not want to share his toys, and they are disappointed in Dabao.

In fact, the past practice was very selfish, mainly because of the greatest parental responsibility. From a psychological point of view, no one is born selfish, parental preferences are what matter.

Specifically, it can be expressed in the following two aspects.

1. The wrong way to educate children.

Every child is inherently innocent, but the wrong way of educating can destroy this innocence and make the child grow into an unpleasant appearance.

1. If you are the eldest in the family, you should let your younger brother or sister go.

Although this is common in families of two children, everyone must realize that this kind of education is very wrong. When there is a dispute between two children in the family, parents must treat both children fairly and impartially and do not put the blame on the older child. Not only will the parents not let Dabao know that he is wrong, but they will also make Dabao's mentality unbalanced, so that he has a hatred for Erbao.

2. The younger siblings are small, why don't you tell them next to them that you can't touch this thing.

When the second child had an accident at home, some parents lost their temper with Dabao, thinking that the accident happened because Dabao did not take enough care of Erbao, the child.

This kind of treatment will bring great harm to Dabao's psychology, and the child will feel that he has changed from a small baby at home to an adult nanny.

Faced with this situation, Dabao will completely resist getting along with Erbao, and even regard Erbao as an enemy, and of course, he will not be willing to share toys or snacks with Erbao, a child.

2. Improper distribution of parental love.

If the parents show a clear preference for the child, the eldest son will be very insecure. If a person lacks love, then selfishness is the most obvious manifestation.

Because they think they have very little to do, they will subconsciously protect what they have.

Parents may just want their children to share toys and snacks, but for Dabao, such a request is to hand over their toys to an "enemy", so they will be very resistant.

If parents find out that Dabao in the family has become selfish and hostile towards their younger siblings, they cannot criticize their children for this, otherwise Dabao will only become more selfish, rebellious and ignorant.

Parents must reflect on whether they have made mistakes in their daily education and whether the love between the two children is equal.

The personality of the child depends on the family environment, so you must always pay attention to the emotional needs of the older child, even if there are new members joining the family.

Don't let "preference and unfairness" become synonymous with family in your child's heart. As long as parents educate in the right way, Dabao will not be selfish and will be the best role model for his younger siblings.

That's not true. As a parent, you should educate your child to correctly handle the relationship between herself and others, so that she can establish herself, but at the same time, she should pay more attention to taking the initiative to think about others.

Sometimes it's not necessarily that Dabao is selfish, and sometimes there is a direct relationship with Erbao when there are conflicts in the second-child family, Erbao is too domineering, always bullying Dabao, and there will be family conflicts.

It's not just because Dabao is selfish, as parents should also pay attention to fairness.

Recently, a younger brother went to pick up his sister from school, and his younger brother is usually very clingy to his sister at home, and if my sister goes to school, she will keep asking her mother why her sister hasn't come back. On this day, my mother was annoyed by my brother's question, so she decided to take my brother to pick up my sister from school, and my brother was very happy.

After the younger brother saw his sister, he ran to his sister's side, and immediately hugged his sister, and his sister also hugged his younger brother, full of happiness spontaneously, my sister smiled happily, and the scene was very warm in an instant.

The interaction between the two sisters and brothers makes many mothers with a second child very envious, and the most difficult thing in the second-child family is to deal with the relationship between Dabao and Erbao, therefore, many young parents are very hesitant to have a second child, afraid that Dabao will be unhappy and reject Erbao. However, having one more child is also one more companionship and less loneliness for Dabao, making it easier for Dabao to know how to share, help each other and take responsibility on the road to growth.

Educational methods for second-born children:

Because of the difference in age or gender, Dabao and Erbao have different needs for love. For example, Erbao may only need to take care of life because of his young age, while Dabao needs the wholehearted spiritual companionship of his parents because of his age. Therefore, parents should take as much time as possible to accompany Dabao to do what he is willing to do.

Every child is an angel and has its own advantages and disadvantages, but parents must not compare the two children together, such as praising the two treasures in front of the big treasure and exaggerating the treasure in front of the two treasures, which will not play any educational role, but can only hit the two children, and will make them have gaps between each other, and even dislike each other.

The right way to do this is to emphasize the power of cooperation between children through cooperative play, and help children realize that unity can create more possibilities and make life more interesting.

First of all, treat the two children equally for the first time, not because the two treasures are small, they should be let everywhere, usually there should be a leaky treatment for the big treasure, not less, don't let the children feel that the younger brothers and sisters are born, and they are not important. Secondly, we should encourage Dabao to take care of the two treasures and exaggerate the Dabao more specifically; The same thing, Dabao has, and Erbao is likely to have it. Hu Erbao, the big treasurer, fights, can't take sides, which party is wrong and punishes which party, and can't let Dabao let it go because the two treasures are small, which will lead to the child's grievances.

Finally, spend more time with your two children and don't show favoritism in your words.