When parents give birth to a second child, the boss of the family will not have a sense of gap

The appearance of the second child will definitely have a certain impact on the psychology of the boss, as for what this impact looks like, it depends on the education of the parents and the character of the child, in fact, this sense of gap is not inevitable, but there will be a little difference, I am also a person who has just had a second child, here I will share the interesting things between my two babies.

My Dabao is a boy, he is 6 years old this year, and my Erbao is a girl, three years old this year, in fact, Dabao is still three years old when he doesn't know anything, so Erbao is just a playmate for Dabao, usually less lonely, more happy, of course, there are times when competing for toys, but these can not constitute a sense of gap, one day there was such an interesting thing, I was using the computer office, Dabao walked up to me aggrieved, he said to me: Dad, I've been friends with you for six years, and my sister and you have only been friends for three years. At that time, I really couldn't cry or laugh when I heard these words, what was going on in this little brain?

You are all my children, love is the same, how can you be biased? But this also reflects a truth, when the child's mind reaches a certain level, he will worry that his parents' love for him will be less, maybe this is also a kind of psychology that children have, but it is understandable that the original monopoly of parents' love, at this time there is another object of competition for favor, of course, there will be some discomfort.

In fact, as you grow older, this psychological state will change, maybe there will be a sense of gap in some cases, because his resources have been robbed, and the toys that he usually enjoys alone suddenly come to a younger brother and sister to play with him, and usually eat delicious food by himself, which is another person to share, children always take it for granted that the love of their parents must be divided into two halves, and even cause anxiety and worry.

When the child grows up, he will understand that fighting brothers, fathers and sons, and having a younger brother and sister is of great significance to his life, and this meaning will continue to extend as he grows older.

There will definitely be a sense of disparity. Because I originally had a father and a mother by myself, but suddenly I had a younger brother or sister, and it became a sharing of the love of my parents.

No, it is the right of parents to have a second child, and the eldest in the family has no qualifications or any right to express any ideas, and respect parents for what they should do most.

There will still be a sense of gap, the care and love of the whole family are concentrated on the second child, the boss will inevitably be left out in the cold, and lose the wholehearted love of his parents for a while, and the boss will be psychologically uncomfortable.

The eldest of the family will definitely have a sense of disparity.

My aunt gave birth to a second child, and then because there were few people in the family to help, my aunt was inconvenient, and then sometimes I asked my sister to help, but my sister was also pampered since she was a child, and rarely did such things, plus her mind was more sensitive, and her mother didn't pay so much attention to her. In the first year of junior high school, I took the first exam in the grade and did not praise it. In a fit of rage, he ran away from home.

It took a few days to find her.

Giving birth to a second child is a big gap in Dabao's heart, and he is the center of the whole family before the second treasure, and the gap is very big with the status of the second child, and he has to be scolded at every turn, and he will also lack a sense of security.

Absolutely. There are animals with feelings, let alone people.

Nowadays, there are more and more two-child families, and compared with single-child families, there are very big differences between the overall state of the family and the personal status of family members. ......In this, the children's feelings are very different. ......For the eldest in a two-child family, his feelings are very different from those of a one-child family.

Specifically, the boss of a second-child family will have the following different feelings:

1. I feel happy and happy because I am accompanied by my younger siblings.

Children in single-child families tend to be more lonely.

However, because the second-child family has two children, they can accompany each other, so the children of the second-child family are very happy ......As the eldest of a second-child family, I feel very happy and happy with my younger siblings.

This situation is also one of the biggest advantages of a two-child family.

2. As the boss, you must take the corresponding responsibility, so you will reflect your sense of responsibility.

This situation is a very good exercise ...... for the eldest of a two-child familyThis can develop a sense of responsibility, and in the future life, study and work, he will take the initiative to take responsibility, so he will also improve faster.

This situation is a very beneficial situation for children in families with two children.

3. Because I have younger siblings, I can't enjoy the love of my parents alone, so I'm not happy.

For the eldest of some second-child families, it will be very unhappy.

The elders of these second-child families think that the birth of their younger siblings has taken away the love of their parents that should have belonged to them, and from the moment their younger siblings are born, they can only get very little love from their parents, which will make them feel very unhappy.

This situation is very unfavorable for the two-child family to maintain harmony and harmony.

4. I don't get along well with my younger siblings, so I feel unhappy.

Children in two-child families may not be able to get along harmoniously and may have conflicts with each other.

For this situation, it will lead to the eldest ...... the second-child family is very unhappyOriginally, his life was quite smooth, but because of the birth of his younger siblings, he had conflicts with them and his life was unsatisfactory, so he was unhappy.

The above situations are the different feelings of the eldest in the second-child family after the birth of ...... younger siblingsIt can be seen that for different families, the impact of having a second child is varied. ......As the eldest in the family, you should correctly understand this situation and take measures to deal with it properly, so that you can live in harmony with your younger siblings, and the family can be harmonious, harmonious and happy.

With the liberalization of the two-child policy, there will be more and more families with two children, and parents need to face the problem of how to deal with the education of many children.

Parents need to understand that with the birth of younger siblings, the inner loss and jealousy of the eldest child in the family are inevitable. Because in any case, he would have been left alone with the love of his parents and family. And when his younger siblings are younger, he generally receives less attention, which also exacerbates his inner dissatisfaction.

In addition, the different ways in which parents deal with their children's feelings of loss and jealousy will also have different effects on their children. Some parents will feel guilty and self-blame when they hear the boss complaining, which will make the boss ignore his sense of responsibility and further rely on and demand from his parents in order to make up for his inner dissatisfaction, such as asking his parents to be with him at all times, thus making his parents more physically and mentally exhausted. Some parents will feel that the boss lacks love and will berate their children, which will hurt the child's heart and feel that they have been abandoned, thus creating a sense of worthlessness.

The correct thing for parents is to communicate with the eldest before the birth of the younger sibling, so that the child is aware of the changes that may occur in the life of the younger sibling after he is born.

On the bright side, you can tell him that there will be an extra playmate at home, more toys in the future, etc. In addition, parents can emphasize the sense of responsibility and sacredness of being older siblings, such as finding some fairy tales about siblings protecting each other and caring for each other to tell their children, which can stimulate children's love and desire to protect.

However, parents should also let their children understand that after the birth of younger siblings, they will be very weak and need more care. Parents can become tired and many times even need him to take on the responsibility of taking care of his younger siblings. These communications will make children have some psychological expectations, so that they will not be caught off guard by the changes in the family after the birth of their younger siblings.

Of course, absolute fairness is often difficult to achieve, but parents need to pay attention to the negative emotions that their children will have as a result. Especially after the birth of younger siblings, parents need to pay more attention to the psychological changes of the eldest and possible feelings of loss and jealousy. When the child is emotionally depressed, parents can tell the child that he received more love than his younger siblings when he was a child, and that he and his younger siblings are the most loved children of their parents, then the child's heart will be greatly comforted.

The most important thing is that parents need to adhere to the principle of fairness and justice when educating and caring for their children. Children may have more responsibilities because they are older, but this does not mean that the eldest has to make sacrifices and concessions in everything. Especially don't let the child be implicated for no reason because of the affairs of his younger siblings, for example, the girl mentioned in the news that once her sister cried unintentionally, and she happened to be by her side, and her mother insisted that she made her sister cry without asking.

Although it has been a long time since this incident, I didn't expect the child to remember it clearly and write it in his diary. This shocked my mother.

What it's like to be the boss of a family with two children: Although the parents may be as equal as possible, I still think it's unfair. In order to gain the love of my parents, I studied hard and hoped to be praised by my mother, but my mother never showed joy because I studied well.

When I grow up, I accept the reality and no longer care who is better for me, as long as my parents are happy and healthy. What I want to say is that parents may feel the same to us from the bottom of their hearts, but each child has a different sensitivity, and the love they feel is different, and it is impossible to be absolutely fair, so that my child will not have such an experience again, I will not have a second child.

Related information

In terms of aging, the standard for defining an aging society is that if the proportion of the elderly population aged 65 and above exceeds 7%, or the proportion of the elderly population aged 60 and above exceeds 10%, it will enter an aging society. The degree of aging can also be subdivided:

When 10%-19% of the population over the age of 60 is mild, 20%-29% is moderate, and 30% or more is severe.

According to the results of the seventh national population census, the "two-child" fertility rate has increased significantly. Decision-making arrangements and policy measures such as "two children alone" and "two children in all" have promoted the rebound of the birth population, and the "second child" fertility rate has increased significantly, with the proportion of "second child" in the birth population rising from about 30% in 2013 to about 50% in 2017.

Families with 2-3 children have a particularly obvious advantage in old age.

1. Good family atmosphere

Families with only children will be close to their parents when the children are young, but they will be lonely at homeAs you get older, the generation gap with your parents will get bigger and bigger.

But if there are many children in the family, it will be a different situation, no matter what stage the child is in, there will always be endless topics to talk about between the children and the childrenThere is always joy in the children's wordsThereforeThis feeling is sure to affect the atmosphere of the whole family. And this atmosphere is even more pronounced when you get older. During the New Year's holidays, the home is more lively

2. Share family pressure, especially when the elderly are old and sick, they can better understand the good of having brothers and sisters

The cost of children's education is indeed a bit high now, and some people will think that it is enough to have a child, and any more will only increase the burden. But to look at the problem in the long run, as the saying goes, oneOne child is also a belt, and two children are also watchingAlthough when I was young, I increased some pressure, and I spent the same amount of time watching several children who were out of books, and I was tired, but when I grew up, I was all older.

When the parents are old and have no ability to make money, having more children can play a very important roleThere is no situation where the burden of the family is placed on one person.

3. There will be no risk of losing one's independence, especially those who are old and have lost their independence after the reproductive age are even more pitiful

Everything you do is risky, including having children. AlthoughOnly childfamily, relatively speaking,Enjoy a variety of education, variousMatter is all superior, obtainedEducational resources would also be better.

But if the only child in the family has an accident, it can be a fatal blow to the family. So thoughFamilies with many children will have some stress at first, but they don't face this risk of losing their independence.

4. Exercise children's self-care ability

The more children there are in the family, the more competition there is, and the stronger the self-care ability. There are many children in the family, and parents are sometimes very busy, and many details cannot be seen one by one.

It's like eating or dressing, there are many children in the family, and parents are sureStart exercising your children's self-care skills early. People who have the ability to take care of themselves since they were young will generally have a strong independence in society.

In fact, it has something to do with how parents usually treat their children, most parents feel that the young are still young and need to be taken care of, but it is precisely this behavior that causes the psychological gap.