How did life cause you to change from enthusiasm to indifference to your in laws?

Basically, every daughter-in-law wants to be a good daughter-in-law when they first get married, honor their in-laws well, and treat them as their biological parents. Enthusiasm is extinguished for more than one thing. Everything revolves around his son.

thought that his son was unmatched in the world. Whoever married the daughter of the leading family climbed to the sky in one step, who bought what kind of house in the center of Shanghai, who and whose house and car were all bought by his father-in-law, and so on. Slowly, the daughter-in-law found that she couldn't understand and the communication was ineffective.

Just get by on the surface.

There was only one egg on the table, and she carefully peeled it and put it in front of my husband. Wash the fruit and tell my husband to come and eat! I was on the side, she didn't even give me a look, I was a little embarrassed, I didn't know if I should go over to eat.

My son was holding the snack, and she quickly said: Give your dad a bite to eat, he is so tired. My husband was lying down playing games, and I was the one who made the most money in the family.

Buying skin care products for their second elders, buying mobile phones, etc., are all things I propose to pay for to buy, and my husband says the most: no need, let them buy it themselves. In short, a lot of details made me think, they are not my parents, they want their daughter-in-law to be able to make money, clean up the house, and listen to the training honestly.

Such a character is to treat the daughter-in-law as a maid in the feudal era. I am financially independent, I take care of my husband, so I am good to my in-laws, but I will never show my sincerity to be too good to them, polite, that's all. Notes:

Now that my husband is under investigation, he has disappointed me, if it is more serious, the divorce is not negotiable. I can raise my own son.

During my pregnancy, my in-laws came to my house, saying that they were afraid that I would not eat well, and they stayed there in the name of taking care of me and cooking for me! As a result, I made a pregnant woman for breakfast, porridge with pickles, tofu, or pickled cabbage every morning! At noon, my husband was not there, so I ate the leftovers of the previous night, and my husband came back in the evening, good guy, my mother-in-law felt sorry for her son, and made five or six dishes, chicken, duck, goose, fish, and meat!

After a pregnancy, my husband's belly was bigger than mine, and I didn't know that my husband was pregnant. Although I was very unhappy about my in-laws' behavior, I didn't quarrel with them, after all, I was still pregnant with a child, so I had to keep a good mood! I don't squeak either, I don't eat my mother-in-law's breakfast in the morning, I make it myself every day.

Multigrain soybean milk, pumpkin juice, corn juice, squeezed fresh juice, milk, yogurt, etc. rotate every morning with a cup, steamed corn, steamed purple potato, steamed yam, fried a plate of shrimp skin greens, and a fruit. At lunch, I went to buy vegetables and cooked whatever I wanted, which was equivalent to eating separately from my in-laws. My mother-in-law was unhappy and thought I was a waste.

Because I cook three dishes and one soup for myself every day at noon) and make a complaint to my old man. Fortunately, my husband is not stupid and told me that his parents have bad living habits, so I should eat more healthy food for the health of my baby and ignore his mother and the like! Haha, since that time, I have not been enthusiastic about my in-laws.

Last year's Chinese New Year's Eve, I celebrated the first Chinese New Year after I got married. My in-laws, my parents, and my uncle had a Chinese New Year's Eve dinner at my house. I had arranged the red envelopes and money early, and after the meal, my husband and wife took out the red envelopes for the four old people, and gave each of the old people one red envelope for 1,000 per year.

My brother-in-law is unmarried, two years younger than my husband, the same age as me, has been working for many years, and has my own income, so we naturally did not give my brother-in-law a red envelope. Originally, I was given a red envelope after eating, and I was happy. But that night, I looked at my husband's mobile phone, and suddenly saw the WeChat sent by my father-in-law to my husband, "It's not bad to pack a red envelope, and I don't know how hard your brother is this year, it's really ignorant."

That happy scene collapsed in an instant, my father-in-law felt that everyone present at that time had red envelopes, but his brother didn't. My husband and I graduated from college, and my brother-in-law dropped out of junior high school and was doing auto repair, so it was naturally harder to make money, but we also just got married, just bought a house, started a family, and didn't have enough money. But we prepare red envelopes for filial piety to the elderly, not to distribute charity.

What's more, the uncle is not a minor, or in school, and is an adult with a legitimate income. I want to ask, did the brother-in-law give a red envelope to his in-laws? Does he understand or not?

This incident made me feel that my father-in-law is the kind of person who can't be warmed up no matter how good you are to him. This year's Chinese New Year's Eve red envelope let my husband go to Zhang Luo by himself, I won't pay a penny.

After getting married, my husband worked close to his parents' home. So I lived in my mother's house for eight years after marriage. It's been a few years since I bought a house and moved out.

As soon as I got married, my grandfather poked me in the head and said. When people come to live with us, you can't bully them. My parents treated him like their own son, and every time we quarreled, they tried to save his face and blame me.

It can be said that in the past eight years, he has not been given a single look. My mother-in-law's house is not far away, so let's drive for half an hour. Go back no more than five times a year.

Two years ago, I only took half a day off for my mother-in-law's 60th birthday, and my husband only went back after finishing his business. It was late in the evening when I went back. A feast was about to be held at home.

I rushed to help with the housework. My sister's nose is not a nose on the side, and her eyes are not eyes. Yin and Yang taunted me.

There are so many relatives, I put up with them. After finishing the housework, I ran back to my room and cried. Their custom is to get up in the middle of the night and worship God.

The mother-in-law is even more secretly stumbling. Giving red envelopes to juniors is auspicious, but skipping me. At that time, I was young, and I didn't know what to do.

came back and killed my husband. I still hold a grudge against this matter all these years. The more I think about it, the more wrong it becomes, it's too late, why don't they lose their temper with my husband and lose their temper with me.

Compared with my husband at my house, I caught mahjong n times (mahjong is not allowed before marriage), drunk and quarreled once, and my parents never said that he was not. From then on, I will no longer dig out my heart and lungs to them, and try not to meet each other. I went back for a meal during the New Year, and I didn't stay overnight.

Moved to my mother-in-law's house during the month, one day I accidentally found a few small ** in the high cabinet next to the TV, a** is a group photo of my husband and my father-in-law and a family of three, I took a look at it and felt familiar, how did my husband still have half a sleeve on his arm, oh, isn't that my clothes, it turned out to be a group photo taken together last year, my portrait was cut off on **, and the four-person group photo was cut into a three-person group photo. I was holding my newborn baby, and my heart was cold. Married for four years, I think I have a clear conscience about the second elder, and I pay for it, and I admit that my daughter-in-law is an outsider since ancient times, but it doesn't have to be so obvious.

In the eyes of your in-laws, it is hypocritical for you to react to pregnancy, it is hypocritical not to smell the fumes, it is hypocritical to not be able to cook with the baby after giving birth to a child, and you can't go out to earn money with a child at home, because you want to be happy at home. She thinks that when you marry them, you should be like an ancient daughter-in-law. Three from four virtues.

You're a nanny, you're a slave, and you're paid for yourself.

The most indifferent ways to treat your mother-in-law are: not living together; Don't go to visit on holidays; Don't talk when you meet, etc.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is more complicated than that of the Middle East. It is difficult for a Qing official to decide family affairs, and what he is talking about is probably the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. There is a song called "Mother-in-law is Mother", and there is a lyric in it that reads:

Thank you for giving me a hot and cold person, so you are my mother. There is no love without a reason, and there is no hate without a reason.

Many old people possess their sons because of selfishness, and they can't see that their sons are good to their daughters-in-law, and they also wipe out the cold and hot in their daughter-in-law's heart. You didn't give your daughter-in-law a person who knows cold and hot, what mood does a woman have to be filial to you and treat you as a mother?

The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not troublesome: the old man really loves his son, the son really loves his wife, and the wife loves her in-laws because she loves her husband. Look at the surrounding families with harmonious mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is a pair of old people who love their sons selflessly, a man who loves his wife and children with responsibility, and a woman who knows how to be grateful, all of which are indispensable.

Love is very important, and love is even more important when it is in the right direction.

Be quiet, do your chores for him at all times, and don't let him do the chores on his own.

Just talk to him less.

First of all, because of the intense disappointmentA sincere heart is not valuedWhen I first got married, I treated my in-laws with even more care and care than my biological parents, but all kinds of details found that no matter how much my in-laws verbally defended their daughter-in-law, it was impossible to trust their daughter-in-law as their own daughter without defense.

Secondly, it is because of the tolerance and love of biological parents, and it is precisely because of the selfless love of parents that people understand more clearly what it means to be truly loved and cherished, more aware that the in-laws can never be like their biological parents to their daughter-in-law. After all, except for his parents, no one cares whether his daughter-in-law is tired or not at her in-law's house, whether she works hard or not, and whether she is used to it.

Ways to alleviate the indifference in the relationship between the daughter-in-law and the in-laws:

1. Keep your distance.

The daughter-in-law and her husband's original family should keep a distance and get along for a long time, which will only increase more contradictions.

2. Less participation in the decision-making of the husband's original family.

Do more things and talk less, and talking too much is easy to cause conflicts. Even if you do more housework in front of your in-laws and change the topic, try not to talk back, and don't talk about it.

3. In front of your in-laws, don't beat and scold your husband.

After all, the relationship between in-laws and husband is that of mother and son and father and son, and beating and scolding in front of other people's parents will only cause dissatisfaction among the in-laws, and even some parents who are more protective of their children will cause physical conflicts.

When I found out that we could never really become a family, my in-laws said that we would be a family in the future, but I treated you as an outsider everywhere, and I was inevitably chilled after many times, so I simply became indifferent.

Different living habits, eating and living are different, will slowly not want to continue to communicate, of course, they are also very hard, we must learn to understand each other, as our own parents.

When I gave birth, they treated me lukewarmly when they saw that it was a girl, and then they complained to me during confinement, and asked me to do this and that.

If I give without regrets, not only can I not get the gratitude of the other party, but also cause the other party to make things difficult, then I will definitely change from enthusiasm to indifference.

My in-laws never regarded me as their own people, so that I became indifferent to my in-laws, when my husband and I bought a house, most of the down payment was saved by ourselves, and my in-laws paid 100,000 yuan, and then I didn't have money to buy decoration and furniture, and my in-laws knew about it, and planned to give 20,000, but I didn't give it at that time. When I went to his house during the Chinese New Year, my mother-in-law gave me 20,000 yuan, saying that you will get married next year and give you 20,000 yuan as a bride price.

The clever mother-in-law pushed the boat down the river and gave me the money for the furniture that helped us as a bride price. I didn't say anything and just took it. The bride price money is goodbye, and after that, in addition to the 800 yuan change fee given at the wedding, the married in-laws never gave me a penny, nor did I buy a stitch and thread, wedding jewelry?

What is that? The gift money for the wedding, my husband and I have been away from home for many years, and we are working in other places, and there are few classmates and friends in our hometown, but there are a few who come.

My in-laws put it all away as it was, and I don't know how much money I saw in total. After the wedding, I was washing my hair, and my in-laws gave my husband 4,000 yuan while I was washing my hair, saying that it was our due part, and they took all the rest. I wasn't even present during the process, and to put it bluntly, people didn't take me seriously at all.

I was stupid at the time, I didn't feel unhappy, but then I thought about it and felt wrong, you can take the money away, at least you should make it clear in front of me, there are still my mother's family at the wedding, and my husband and I, classmates and friends.

Because after getting married and giving birth to a girl, my in-laws' attitude towards me changed, their family is patriarchal, and in the face of such a family, my relationship with them is not very good.

When I first got married, my relationship with my mother-in-law was still very good, we walked down the street, and many people even thought that we were a mother-daughter relationship, but the good times didn't last long, and since we had children, this relationship has changed.

My mother made a quilt for the baby, and my mother-in-law said that it was silky, saying that the silk was not good and could not be covered for the baby, and I explained that I didn't believe it, and I had to throw away the quilt. I told my husband about this and asked him to explain it to my mother-in-law, and my mother-in-law scolded me like crazy for sowing discord and provoking his mother-son relationship. He scolded me and cried, slammed the door and left.

What makes you change from enthusiasm to indifference to your in-laws? Tell us what you think.

There may be many reasons, but the most fundamental reason is that you regard them as your own parents, and they don't treat you as your own child, so after more such things, the relationship will slowly fade.

From unfamiliar to familiar, from two families to a family, from showing their own strengths to exposing their shortcomings, this is a process. Due to the different times in which they lived, the different educations they received, and the different views and principles of how people worked, this is the main reason for the contradictions.

It's that some of the in-laws' views are different from ours, after all, they are not people of the same age, and then his education and environment are different from ours, so there will be some contradictions, and then it will lead to enthusiasm for in-laws and indifference.