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There is a deviation in one's own cognition and excessive self-denial.
The appearance of the guide mausoleum rush:
1.Mental strictness before the weight of internal friction, excessive self-examination, always thinking that I am not good, I am not doing right, even if others praise me, I feel that I am not worthy.
2.Avoiding solving the problem, only thinking that it is your own reason, not finding the real cause of the problem, and regretting the result is counterproductive.
In fact, we should face up to our own imperfections, people have a good side and an imperfect side, and everyone is a unique existence.
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Most of the people who self-pua do not have a self-confidence in themselves, because now the social development is very fast, people often receive all kinds of information on the Internet, but also let everyone see a lot of people who are better than themselves, in this case it is often a great psychological difference, some people may deny themselves in the bottom of their hearts, feel that they are very incompetent, and they can't do anything well, these negative attitudes will make everyone have a very inferior complex. If you want to stop self-PUA, you need to make yourself understand in your daily life that you shouldn't compare with others, because there are too many people who are better than yourself, so we shouldn't always compare with others but with yourself, only the future self is better than the current self, then you will achieve excellence, let yourself act quickly, and let yourself start to grow every day.
Self-PUA people will always continue to magnify their weaknesses, can feel that they have a lot of shortcomings, always focus on their own shortcomings, even if they praise others will deny what others say, because what others say is to praise themselves, they are not at all what others say, this kind of judgment of their own denial is also very bad for their own development, and will make themselves easy to be jealous of others.
It is very important to express yourself in life, to learn to talk to your relatives and friends, and to know how to talk to others about your unhappiness or doubts. Only in the process of communicating with others, you will find that there are many people around you who care about yourself, and when you feel the warmth around you, you will also make yourself more confident, and in the process of talking about yourself with others, you can judge yourself from a rational point of view, rather than blindly denying yourself.
In the end, no one in the world can be perfect.
We have to accept our own shortcomings, but we also have to play to our strengths to make ourselves more perfect.
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People with self-PUA are generally caused by their original family, low self-esteem, and lack of a good attitude. If you want to stop self-PUA, you should recognize yourself well, although it is not the best, but it is not bad, just an ordinary person. As long as he accepts this setting, he will not expect too much from himself.
Usually this kind of people like to compare with others, there are thousands of people in the world, and some people always like to be jealous of the people around them, and it is normal to have a sense of disparity. Excessive jealousy is a kind of negative energy, and after the jealousy is over, you can't help but pua yourself, so let's take a look at the sedan body!
1. What are the causes of self-PUA?
Most of the people who self-PUA are because of three reasons, first, the family of origin. may not have been praised since childhood, parents always like to keep hitting their children, causing children to feel that they are very poor, even if they encounter some very expensive goods, they feel that they are not worthy. Second, low self-esteem.
Usually children who are hit in the original family will have a somewhat distorted personality, although they are excellent in all aspects when they grow up, they still can't identify with themselves, and they always seem out of place among their peers, especially inferior. Third, there is no good mentality. Think more about what, don't think about nothing, people can only live a lifetime, adjust their mentality, don't live up to time.
Second, how to stop self-PUA?
If you want to stop, you can improve it in two ways, first, have the right cognition. Don't put yourself in a very low position, don't think too highly of yourself, just keep a normal mind and think that you are just an ordinary person, although some people don't care about us, but we care about ourselves. Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance, rather than pinning your hopes in the eyes of others.
Second, learn to self-dissolve. Sometimes there are some things to talk to a good friend, although it is not practically helpful, but at least it can divert bad emotions and relieve stress by doing exercise.
In short, PUA is completely a masochistic act. Learn to be narcissistic, and don't always attack yourself with dimensionality.
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Mainly because of the environment, his own personality, the people around him, the influence of his surroundings, and his own experience; Improve yourself, let yourself be more and more powerful, don't feel inferior, cheer yourself up, tell yourself that you are the best in the chain, and you can stop PUA. Bu Hui.
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It has a great deal to do with their own minds, as they themselves roll on certain things and lower their desires; If you lower your desires, you will find that your life has become relatively speaking, and it is easier to often make hints to yourself to become sensitive and unconfident, first of all, it is very okay to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, and to affirm yourself accordingly.
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Actually, it's not that self-PUA people don't want to succeed, they are very hungry for success, but they are more afraid of failure. While success can make them feel happy and satisfied, it makes them too insecure. If you preset the outcome of failure from the beginning and become a loser in life, you can gain this sense of security.
They are familiar with what it feels like to fail rather than to succeed. In fact, the principle of self-PUA is the same, which is a kind of negation and questioning of one's own value. Some of this is caused by the family of origin, and some are caused by the acquired environment.
If you have people around you who are self-PUA, I hope you can give them a little more care and take them out.
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There is nothing to be afraid of in PUA at all. He was referring to a male art of pick-up. The purpose of learning this art is to attract women. This is very useful in a relationship, and it can come in handy. Contributes to the success rate of men in finding a mate.
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It means self-psychological suggestion, a bit like the spirit of Ah Q, and is unwilling to face reality. PUA is terrifying because it's a powerful psychological cue and you don't know it's being tied up.
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Self-PUA is to deny oneself, thinking that oneself is not good at anything, it is useless, PUA is still a particularly terrible thing, it will make people less and less confident.
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Self-denial. PUA is very scary, and people who suffer from PUA will be in a state of lack of self-confidence or even inferiority for a long time, doubting themselves for a long time, and having no confidence in doing anything.
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Self-pua is self-denial, which is actually another way of saying not being confident. Self-PUA can lead to a lack of confidence in doing things and difficulty in succeeding in daily life.
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Self-PUA can be understood as the plus version of self-soothing. The terrible thing about PUA is that it is mind control, just like taking drugs, there is no cure, unless your will is strong enough.
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People who have fallen into self-PUA, deep down they always feel that they are all kinds of bad, denying themselves, constantly fighting themselves and doubting themselves. In the process, I slowly crushed my self-confidence and became more and more inferior. What's even more terrifying is that it will make you fall into an anxious, depressed mood, and eventually choose to fall.
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1. Take actionthan dryAnxiety is useful, go to exercise and fitness, read and study.
2. Don't feel bad even if you don't do well, believe that you can do well.
3. Accept yourself, praise yourself more, and I'll be happy.
PUA Introduction:
PUA, the full name of "pick-up artist", originally means "pick-up artist", which originally refers to the behavior of men who have received systematic learning, practice and continuous updating and improvement, and self-improvement of emotional intelligence, and later refers to people who are very attractive to the opposite sex and fascinate the opposite sex and their related behaviors. At present, with the rapid development of the form of organizations, online courses, offline training, etc., to instigate people to commit fraud, every ordinary person in Qizao may become a victim of PUA.
At present, most of the victims of PUA cases in China are female, but there is no authoritative study to confirm that there are more female victims than male victims of PUA from the perspective of demographic Zen Tsai Zheng.
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When it comes to the word PUA, many people are familiar with it. Whether in the entertainment industry or in the workplace, we may all be led PUA. However, in real life, it is more about self-PUA.
The specific embodiment is that people let themselves fall into panic and anxiety through comparison, and give themselves a definition, living in a small circle forever, unable to break the confinement.
This phenomenon of receptivity is mainly due to some "life coaches" on the Internet, who sell anxiety in order to make money. It's like some people, in order to make money to sell health to the elderly. The best way to stop self-PUA is to recognize the reality and make up your mind to change yourself.
1. I first knew the word PUA through celebrities in the entertainment industry. I remember that there was a news on the Internet, a company owner said that the artist was ugly, and then the artist refuted it, and the two sides fought on the Internet, and even posted the evidence of the recording.
Although workplace PUA is common in life, it is more common to self-PUA. Some young people who respect Gao Bo draw circles for themselves and let themselves live in them. Gradually, there is a perception that "I can't do it" or "I can't do it."
Confusion and panic about the future lead to the fear of life. The current popular mourning culture can also be seen as a form of self-PUA.
2. Why self-puaself-pua can be seen in many people. Even I can't deny my self-pua for a certain period of time. I think this is due to the influence of the environment.
Take a look at the onlineSelling anxiety to young people seems to have become a money-making trend.
In this case, people are constantly making comparisons. Successful people in their twenties have a house, a car and a deposit, but they are still confused about their work in their twenties, and they always think about Liangxiang and not change their jobs. In such a comparison, the gap seems very large, and I am becoming more and more inferior.
When low self-esteem fills our hearts, it is difficult for us to get out of PUA.
3. How to avoid self-PUA Because of the fear of being eliminated, people keep comparing, but after the comparison, few people can turn the gap into motivation. In this case, low self-esteem and mourning stand out. So if we want to avoid self-PUA, we need to do not compare or turn the sense of disparity generated by comparison into motivation.
The best way to do that is to make a difference. In the face of your own shortcomings, in addition to complaining about yourself every day, you must also try to adjust. Find the direction of life, work towards it, and PUA will naturally stay away from us.
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Because these people are self-hypnotic, they want to get what they want in this way, the process is too difficult, and they can only achieve their goals by paralyzing themselves.
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Lack of security, excessive desire and vanity, can't accept your own ordinariness and ordinariness.
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Because of lack of self-confidence, they will continue to doubt themselves, thinking that they can't do it, but they will withdraw more and more, and slowly lose their self-confidence.
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Because people will always have some self-doubt in life, they will regularly conduct a deep introspection on themselves and correct some aspects of themselves.
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Because there are many people who are very unconfident now, when they see someone with a reputation better than themselves, they will deny themselves, so they will engage in self-grinding and disturb me.
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Because this kind of person has very high requirements for himself and is very disrespectful to himself, so there is such a phenomenon.
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It is because people have high requirements for themselves and feel that self-discipline is very important, so they invisibly cause serious pressure on themselves.
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The so-called self-PUA refers to the fact that I am obviously very good but I don't want to admit it, I have been praised and appreciated by others but I feel that others are complimenting me, I always feel that I am not working hard enough, not good enough, and often fall into self-denial and self-doubt and doubt!
In fact, no one pushes themselves, but they always want to meet the expectations of others and be recognized.
It's really too tiring and not good.
Manifestations of self-pua.
1.Not confident. Feel unworthy.
You do very well with the plan given to you by the leader, but you are not complacent, because you think that the plan may do better in others, and you just happen to be lucky to be recognized, and you don't feel that this is due to your own excellence.
You never put your abilities in perspective, and you often even belittle yourself and feel like you're not working hard enough.
2.Treat others with understanding, but treat yourself harshly.
For the same plan, others can't complete it to give comfort to Anhe, and seek a position to show that it is not his fault that he can't complete it, and he has done his best.
If you don't finish it and fall back into self-doubt, is it because you don't work hard enough, or because you have limited ability, you drag the whole team back?
3.Psychologically sensitive, always habitually self-blaming.
No matter what happens, I always think about what I am not doing well. My friend was in the wrong mood, so I quickly reflected on whether I said something and did something to upset my friend.
In the face of a friend's request for help, even if he is powerless to refuse, he feels like he owes his friend, and he will blame himself for being useless.
It is very obvious that self-PUA is a very bad sensory and emotional experience, and long-term self-PUA will only let yourself fall into anxiety, depression, and self-disappointment.
Being pua originally meant to be accosted.
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I began to look at the world rationally, I was no longer so emotional, I began to admit my mistakes, I began to know how not to stubbornly defend my own point of view, I agreed with the other person's point of view, I began to express myself instead of being bitter, I began to communicate with the world instead of thinking that I was the center of the whole world, I began to realize my own insignificance, I knew how to be calm and focused, I wanted to be serious and not give up, I began to understand what I really wanted, and I also began to work hard.