Why some leaders are very controlling

In the actual process of working in the workplace, we often feel that the leader's desire to control is relatively strong, especially some small leaders, in the original simple thing, in their place has become very troublesome.

Why is that? Why is this happening? And it's the same situation that most companies have.

In fact, there are three reasons why you may be stunned when you hear it.

1.Probably vanity.

Haunt. No one doesn't want to be respected and recognized by others, and wants to be the one who is said to be great in other people's mouths, so everyone will have some vanity to a greater or lesser extent.

Leaders like to put up some shelves to show their presence. Asking you to do more things and moving your questions back can make you feel that he is more powerful and satisfy his vanity.

2.It may be the fear of losing power.

In fact, many leaders are promoted from the grassroots staff, they know the hard work at the grassroots level, so once they experience the sense of control and psychological comfort of being a leader, they will not want to go back to the original state.

Therefore, controlling the current state is the result they want, asking about big and small things, and asking you to make a report from time to time, these tasks can really make the leader have a more overall view, understand the project process, and the other aspect is to keep everything under their control.

3.Make you feel like he's valuable.

If you work hard to complete the work, you will feel that it is really not easy, you will not feel a sense of accomplishment if you do it without twists and turns, and you will not thank the people who help you complete the task.

To give a particularly easy to understand example, Journey to the West.

The Monkey King has vast magical powers, and it is clear that he can get the scriptures back with a fight, so why should the group go to great lengths to get it? In fact, the person who arranges to do this is to reflect his value, which is the real purpose of others.

The human desire for power is the core and main part of the seven emotions and six desires.

Listen to me," "I have the final say," and "do what I say" are the concrete manifestations of the desire for power.

The official score is very large, and it is also a vain expression.

People crave the respect of others, but if they show too much, they will show the emptiness of their hearts.

In other words, the more you lack something, the more you need it.

1.Vanity is at work.

Everyone wants to be respected and recognized by others, they all want to be the envy of others, and everyone will have vanity. Leaders in lower positions are often in a very awkward position, and they may be a grade higher than their employees, and they are too far behind the leaders at the top. The vanity of these little bosses will become very strong, and they want to control their employees and make them completely obey their orders, which will satisfy their little vanity, so these little bosses like to put on a show to show their importance.

Always like to command others to satisfy their vanity, arrange you, order you, order you, to satisfy their vanity.

2.Lighten your workload.

This is a cheap power that leaders can use, which is to make their job easier. If you complete the task easily, then your boss will definitely assign you a new task. Anyone may feel a little uncomfortable, so you may just take your time, start to procrastinate, and start to relax.

As soon as you procrastinate, your leaders will blame you and criticize you, but you can't refute it. If you say a few more words, they might fire you. This is the easiest thing to do as a leader, to reduce your workload.

3.Make you feel like he's valuable.

It's a very simple job, but the leader is to reflect his value, let you work hard to complete the work, and the leader will not say anything about your hard work, because he will feel that it is his credit. This is the strange mind of these leaders, originally this job is your own hard work, he just plays a person who works hard to pick thorns, but the person who does this is always you, and in the end the credit is all his, you say that you are angry or not.

These low-ranking leaders torture their subordinates from these small things, so as to reflect their own value and satisfy their vanity. If we encounter these low-ranking leaders who love to control people at work, then he must be because of these three reasons, as the saying goes, "Hades is better, but the little ghosts are harder". That's what I'm talking about.

But as subordinates, we can only obediently listen to the words of the leader. However, only if we work hard can we have a chance to be promoted to leadership.

There are several ways we can get along with a controlling leader:

01. Maintain confidence in yourself and keep the bottom line

When getting along with leaders with a strong desire to control, you must keep your own bottom line, and you can't lose your own principles of being a person and doing things, and blindly obey each other. If you lose yourself and become unconfident because of the leader's overly controlling desire, then the other party will only disrespect you more and more and take you to the core.

My boss used to be a very controlling leader, and I chose to listen to him for most of the work, partly because there was nothing wrong with these things, there were no issues of principle, and partly because they were all inconsequential. But if he asks me to do something that violates the company's rules or doesn't conform to my principles of life, I will clearly express my attitude and not implement it.

02. Enhance their "soft power" and "hard power".

We must learn to improve ourselves at all times, only in this way can we be respected by more people and get more salary. Hard power is a thing that determines our workplace offline, which can ensure that our lives are guaranteed to a certain extent, so that we will not be unable to find a job and have no living economy**.

But soft power can determine our upline, and we can only make ourselves popular if we master the expression skills of communicating with people. To get along with the leader, we must figure out the temperament and character of the leader, so that we can not say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. Leaders, especially direct leaders, play a vital role in our promotion.

My boss likes to be praised by others, and I will praise and appreciate him in a timely manner.

03. Report everything at work to the other party

When getting along with a leader with a strong desire to control, you must report to the other party and report to him before doing things. In the process of getting along with the leader, I will talk to him about almost everything, so that he can fully feel that he is respected, and he is in a very important position in my mind.

In fact, as long as you do this, he will basically agree with your ideas and will not oppose anything.

04. Don't have a head-on conflict and pay attention to the way you express yourself

When dealing with a controlling leader, you must pay attention to the way you express yourself and never have a head-on conflict. Because controlling leaders have too much self-esteem, and if they feel that they are not respected, it will make them feel unacceptable and thus embarrass you.

In the process of work, if I have any ideas, I will put them up tactfully with the leaders in private, and I will not object to them in public. If he wants to express his opposition in public, it is a challenge to his authority, and even if he can handle things well, he will not be "good" in the end.

When you get along with a leader who has a strong desire to control, you must pay attention to the details, and if you really find it unacceptable, then choose to leave.

The best way to get along with a controlling leader is to work more, talk less, and have no temper

First of all, let's sort out this problem, the so-called "control of the giant" leader, we can understand that the leader who wants to control the employee in an all-round way at work, and even enters the personal life of the employee. As a counselor engaged in psychological work, let's talk about how to get along with this kind of control and the strongest leader from a psychological perspective today.

1.First of all, figure out what the leader wants to control?

First of all, the workplace is a place where value is created through everyone's cooperation, and the reason why the leader has such a strong desire to control is nothing more than to want employees to execute according to his wishes, to work to create performance for the company, and so on. But in any case, this is first of all the personal will of the leader, and then the general direction of the company. Therefore, the first is what the leader wants to control, and then the general direction of the company, which is a relatively safe strategy as an employee.

2.Facing the "most controlling" leader. What kind of attitude should I take?

First of all, we are obedient and pandering, but it is only superficially pandering. Here we have to introduce a concept of communication between the sexes called "emotional value", which mainly means emotional value. The two of them get along comfortably, and they can talk together.

When the leader takes such a behavior, we verbally approve, specific words, for example, what you said is right, even which one is very right, I also agree, let's do it in this direction, even this view I think is too deep, and so on to "stick" the leader's words.

But these words still have to be in-depth, you still have to fully understand what he wants to express, and go to the information and do some research, this attitude is also to let the leader know that you are trying to do this with your heart. Yes, our attitude is clear, according to the leader's arrangement, but obedience does not mean that we accept control. The main difference here is whether you have the ability to think independently about something, and if you are not willing to work independent thinking to find out.

Then you can only passively accept it, which may pay the price of being physically and mentally controlled, and it must be very painful.

3.How to execute the work, this is the point!

Below we talked about the superficial pandering and obedience to the instructions of the leader, but as an adult with the ability to think independently, we can be very flexible when it comes to implementation. For example, when implementing the leader's instructions, we can communicate with the leader clearly about some detailed and unclear questions, and we can also communicate with him if we need any help. In this process, if we have a little bit of success in our work, the leader will actually see it, and will also give you recognition and autonomy, which will continue to increase his trust in you, and even speed up your promotion in the workplace.

Because the leader will think that you are a reliable employee, and will think about his interests, and you are very happy to work with you, and the sense of presence is also very strong.

First of all, I want to say that after a long time with a leader who has a very strong desire to control, I will gradually become cowardly, timid, and unassertive, a bit like an accessory to the leader. The relationship between superiors and subordinates is one of the most important relationships in the workplace, and it is necessary to build a good relationship between superiors and subordinates in order to achieve workplace happiness. When there is a conflict with the boss, in addition to analyzing the boss, it is also necessary to analyze yourself, such as your own behavior, your own ways and means of dealing with your boss, your own opinions, opinions and judgments about the boss, and look at the problem from the perspective of the boss, and empathy is very important.

For a controlling leader may be caused by his personality or the environment in which he was raised, don't try to change him or expect him to change, but adjust yourself to fit him and find your own way of getting along with him. Another reason may be that in your previous interactions with him, you are afraid to express any different opinions and feelings, and your self-repression has created his desire to control, so you have to have the courage to say "no" to him, so that the relationship can change, and you also try to discover his strengths and strengths, his aspects that help you, inspire you, and express your respect, appreciation and gratitude in a timely manner. Don't worry if you don't have the response you're expecting for a while, hold on for a few more months and there will definitely be changes.

In the workplace, there can be no "offside", and the leadership power with a strong desire to control represents a kind of order and majesty. At work, do not exceed your own authority, ask for more instructions and conform to his leadership style, and strive for his help and support. The relationship between superiors and subordinates must be correct, be enthusiastic about the leader but not too hot, get along generously without holding back, and don't please the boss too much, which will only make you more depressed.

We must respect the leader, happily complete the tasks assigned by the leader, and reflect our own creativity in the work, do not talk about the shortcomings of the leader behind our backs, and do not belittle the leader to elevate ourselves. Do your job well, either adapt to him or leave him.

Generally speaking, when encountering a leader with a strong desire to control, it is a headache for him, for such a leader, I personally think that the best way to get along should be as much as possible, two people have more communication, more mutual tolerance and understanding, in the process of long-term communication, two people will enhance their understanding of each other, especially in terms of personality, mutual running-in, then, it is more conducive to the exchange and change of Jin Yong reading of two people, when the relationship between two people reaches a certain level, You can put forward your own suggestions step by step, let each other adapt, and in the process of getting along with this, you must adhere to your own principles, do not deliberately cater to each other, otherwise it is difficult to make yourself able to achieve your own real comfort in the work, and the most critical point is that you must adjust your mentality in your daily work, and you should not let yourself linger because there are some troubles in the process of getting along with such a boss, which affects your mood. In short, in the daily work, we must grasp a general direction, clarify our goals, and in the process of achieving this goal, do not waver because we have encountered a leader with a strong desire to control, so that the gains outweigh the losses, and will eventually affect their future.