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This belongs to folk superstition, some places have such customs, some places do not, can be summarized as feudal superstition.
of the remnants of the poison.
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Each place has its own customs, but we don't have this custom on our side, that is, within three years of the death of the elderly, it is not allowed to paste couplets and do happy events. The reason why I didn't let my daughter go to the grave may be because my daughter was married and thought she was someone else's family.
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In rural areas, three years after the death of the elderly, daughters are not allowed to go to the grave, there is no such rule, and the customs vary from place to place.
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Because the daughter is the water that is spilled, the person who marries out is not the person of his own family. There is also a custom that daughters burn money to their elders, and parents can only receive 1 2, so if you are filial to your daughter, you must burn a little more after three years, and burn a little more of the type, this is your filial piety experience.
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It is unbelievable that there is such a statement in modern society, according to personal understanding of funeral customs, there is no restriction on children going to the grave.
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Maybe it's some local customs. There are places where you can go to the grave, and there are places where you can't go to the grave.
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Every place has its own customs. Maybe there they will think that their daughter is married, so they don't let their daughter go to the grave.
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Each place has its own customs, but I think that girls are outsiders when they marry.
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Three years after the death of an old man in the countryside, he is not allowed to go to the grave of his daughter, in this case, we have no such rule here!
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Because this is handed down by the ancestors, it is better to go to the grave after three years.
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This is just some feudal superstitious saying, and both men and women can go.
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There is no basis for this, not letting the daughter go to the grave is because I am afraid that the daughter going to the grave will be detrimental to the parents, so I don't let it, but this is not necessarily patriarchal, maybe I am afraid that if you go to the grave, your parents will be unhappy, so I don't let you go, this can't be said to be patriarchal, some places are like this, some places don't let the daughter go to the grave, but this is not absolute.
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There is such a saying in the countryside, called "the daughter goes to the grave and her mother's house is desperate", and it also has another saying called "the girl goes to the grave, and there is no one in the mother's house". What do these two sentences mean, these two sentences mean that there is such a custom in rural areas: the daughter of the family is not allowed to go to the grave, which is unlucky, so do you know why there is such a saying?
What does it mean for a daughter to go to the grave of her mother's house?
The full text of the daughter's going to the grave means that if the daughter of the family goes to the grave, it means that there is no one else in the mother's family. If a married daughter returns to her mother's house to go to the grave, it will bring disaster to her mother's family, and it will also have a bad impact on her family's fortune and fortune. The traditional concept believes that the married daughter cannot go to the grave, which will affect the feng shui of the mother's cemetery, and will also represent the meaning that there is no successor to the mother's family, and in the concept of the older generation, the woman's yin qi is very heavy, so if the married daughter goes to the grave, the impact on the mother's family is very great.
Precautions for going to the grave to worship ancestors
Generally speaking, on the day of going to the grave, do not wear red and green clothes. It is advisable to wear dark and black clothes, and be sure to dress neatly to show respect for the ancestors. Secondly, when going to the grave to remember, we must pay attention to the order of generation, the higher generation first, and the lower generation last.
When going to the grave, it is also necessary to pay attention to the fact that it is best for relatives at home to go, and it is best for outsiders not to participate in the grave to worship ancestors, which is easy to cause unnecessary trouble. The last thing that should be noted is that it is best to pay attention to solemnity and solemnity when dividing, and not to take pictures in the cemetery, which is very impolite and disrespectful.
The meaning of going to the grave for the New Year
From the perspective of traditional culture, going to the grave is an important expression of Chinese's emotional belonging. People comfort the deceased, inspire the living, and seek their own family and soul belonging. It is an important means to stimulate people's sense of family and responsibility.
At the same time, it is also an ethical responsibility, to do filial piety for parents, dedication to ancestors, and dedication to the family.
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Daughters can go to the grave, and they won't treat anyone badly.
In fact, there is nothing wrong with daughters going to the grave, but the customs of each place are different, and many local customs are open in modern times, and most daughters can go directly to the grave for their ancestors. There are no bad taboos, so it's okay for a daughter to go to the grave.
The reason why it is not good for a daughter to go to the grave is completely due to ancient feudal thinking, because in ancient times, daughters did not belong to their own family, so in most places in ancient times, daughters were not allowed to go to the grave. To this day there are still ignorant old people who attach great importance to this custom.
In fact, daughters also have the right to go to the graves of their ancestors to mourn their relatives, and it is morally and legally allowed, and the bad habit of not allowing daughters to go to the grave in ancient times has gradually been improved in modern times. In addition, many young people in modern times are only children, and it is not the end of the daughter not to go to the grave, so it is not uncommon for the daughter to go to the grave now.
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The custom we copy here is that when a family has sons and daughters, and there is no harmony or unity, the daughter does not greet the daughter and goes to the grave alone, and does not attack the son. In addition to the above cases, the daughter generally takes the sacrifices and other things to the grave to the son's house, and the son takes them to the grave, or goes to the grave together, and then there are cases where the son knows that the son has something to do and can't get out, so he entrusts the daughter to go to the grave, or the son goes out and has no news, or believes in Jesus and can't go to the grave, and only the daughter comes to the grave.
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There is a saying in the countryside that a daughter's grave will have a certain impact on the feng shui of the parents' home.
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It is still early before the Qingming Festival in 2023, and many people are ready to go home to see their ancestors. Every year on the Qingming Festival, we have to go to the tomb, which is a custom that has been passed down for thousands of years.
In China, the Spring Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival, and Qingming Festival are not a fixed time. Qingming Festival, sweeping the tomb to worship, remembering the ancestors, this is the excellent tradition of the Chinese nation since ancient times, it has played a positive role in promoting filial piety and family affection, awakening the common memory of the family, and can also improve the cohesion and identity of family members and even the nation.
However, not everyone can sweep the tomb of the Qing Gaocha Ming Festival, in the countryside, there are some old sayings, there is a saying in the old saying, called: Qingming does not worship, worship does not worship!
Her girlfriend misses the traveling girl to sweep the grave, can't she? As the name suggests, it means that women cannot go to sweep the tomb on the Qingming Festival, otherwise it will be detrimental to their families. In folk terms, tomb sweeping during the Qingming Festival cannot be a married daughter, it cannot be said to be a woman's family, and even some areas cannot be a woman's family.
If a woman goes to the cemetery, it means that the man is dead and will not have any offspring.
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