What an impact your predecessor had on you

I feel like my ex has left a big shadow on me, he is a very troublesome person, and after breaking up with her, he never wants to have a partner again.

It doesn't have any effect, a person in the past tense doesn't have any effect on me.

I used to be slightly fat, and when I was with my ex, he said that I was not in good shape, which made me **, and then I had a very serious stomach problem.

The hurt my ex had inflicted on me made me fear people, fear people, and tremble all over my body when I came into contact with people. But now I have overcome this difficulty, and I have forgotten about him.

Before, because my ex couldn't believe any man's words, now I figured it out, but I just met an inappropriate person, but I pushed away such a good opportunity around me, it's really not worth it.

When my ex broke up, he stalked me to me, and even called our house's motor, saying that he was coming to our house to find me. At that time, I was very disgusted, and then I simply changed my mobile phone number, but sometimes I would dream when I went to sleep, he came to our house to look for me, and I was angry when I woke up.

I don't dare to trust promises casually anymore, and I am skeptical of many things.

Lack of trust and security. Due to the crazy deception and betrayal of my ex, my current love view is awkward, suffering from gains and losses, being cautious, and the most terrible thing is that I obviously have these emotions, but I have to pretend to be unfazed on the surface, because I am afraid that if I show too many emotions, I will lose very badly. When you meet someone you like, you basically won't take the initiative to message him, because if you feel too active, you will be passive.

My ex stayed with me, and the biggest influence was that he taught me how to be good to a person.

Breaking up with your ex is because of distance and time. After breaking up with him, I understood that the relationship is not as strong as I imagined, and there are many things to consider, and it is not as stable as the family relationship.

She made me understand that in fact, the most important thing in love is that the three views are suitable. After experiencing it, it dawned on me. Looks are becoming less and less important, and even the bar is lowered.

My ex made me fall in love with sports and learn to take care of my body. The biggest impact is that people have to have a hobby of their own, even if the surroundings are noisy, once you are involved in it, you will be at peace, the world is your own.

He really didn't love me that much, but fortunately you became me and didn't delay more of my youth. Thank you for letting me know what it means not to love me, and if I love someone again in the future, I will never lose myself again, and I will love myself more.

Three views of inappropriate love can not go long, don't believe that as long as two people love each other, nothing can separate you. Don't expect how much you'll change for her or how much she'll change for you, trust me, after the breakup, all those changes and efforts will be written on your guilt and epitaph.

Socializing with her has made me gradually become a more cultured person. Always take off your headphones when talking to others, even if there is no sound in them and it doesn't interfere with your conversation.

She made me realize that some people's love is indeed a temporary thing. When she loves you, she can't wait to be good to you with her heart and lungs, she doesn't want anything from you, she is wholeheartedly good to you, in a way that is almost naked love, young and even a little reckless to love someone. So much so that it will give you the illusion that this person will never leave you, but this kind of person who relies too much on feelings has one of the most fatal drawbacks, once the feeling is gone, she will simply take back everything, completely do not love you, and even have no patience for a period of time.

The biggest impact your ex has had on you is the loss of trust and security, and although it is sad, it is really how I feel. When I was in school, I was always someone else's child in the eyes of others, and I never thought about early love. Friends often joke that for so many years, what have you done if you haven't been in love, and I'm studying seriously.

The lack of love when I was young directly led to the extreme lack of love experience, coupled with the fact that I may have been attracted to some people who were not suitable, so that every relationship failed to go as I wished, coupled with the countless lies and crazy splits I had with my ex, which made my current view of love extremely awkward and twisted, and I was cautious about gains and losses. The most frightening thing is that even if you have these emotions, you have to pretend to be calm on the surface, because you are afraid that if you show too many emotions, you will lose badly.

Now when I meet someone I like, I can't help but tell him in advance that I am extremely insecure and you have to think twice. When they hear this, they often say, "I like everything." But in my opinion, these are just impulses brought about by the novelty of love, and they are just casual talk without much thought.

In a relationship, I was always caught between constant restlessness and forced composure, trying to find a balance in it. I always suspect that love is a very short-lived thing, after all, it is easy to say that you love someone, but it is too difficult to really love someone in your heart.

We often say, "People change!" This sentence makes sense, because, with the different environment and the people in contact, almost everyone will change to a greater or lesser extent, which is actually mostly because of the effect of "assimilation".

Let's take the simplest example: take the military, for example, before they joined the army, they were ordinary people and had all kinds of problems. However, once you enter the barracks, especially after a few months of training in the "recruit company", you will find that these people will change very much, and they will become closer and closer to the standard of a soldier.

In fact, all kinds of training after they enlist in the army is a process of "assimilation", so that they can "assimilate" into a soldier according to the requirements of the army! So, if you know a lot of friends who have been soldiers, you will find that they have a lot of similarities.

And now you are "assimilated" by the previous 2, that's why you will appear, similar to them.

In addition, the reason why you can't control your temper with your "third" boyfriend is because you have been unable to vent the "grievances" you received before. And your current boyfriend is relatively "honest", so he may have inadvertently become your "catharsis object".

There is a saying: "Persimmon picks up soft pinch". When you become the "strong" party in a relationship, your behavior may not be controlled.

When you encounter this situation, you have to think clearly: "If you hurt someone who is really good to you, maybe no one will really be good to you in the future!" ”

In fact, many people will have this experience: during the "adolescent rebellious period", we may yell at our parents, annoy them, and think they don't care enough about themselves, but they care too much. However, when we grow up and become parents, we will understand what our parents have done to us, which is "really good for us."

That said, we often inadvertently hurt "people who are really good for us."

Most parents love their children selflessly, do not ask for anything in return, and even if they are hurt, they will do it for our good without hesitation.

However, if you want to be a "boyfriend" or even a "husband", you may have "patience reached a certain limit". Will not hesitate to leave or even retaliate. Therefore, for the sake of your own happiness in the future, you still have to find a way to "try your best to control your emotions!" ”

1. As long as one of the two sides has the idea of separation, they will definitely separate, sooner or later. Maybe one day it will be suddenly raised, don't be surprised, don't be in a hurry to find your own problem, it is that the other party has long had the idea of separation, this idea will sprout and grow, but it will not disappear.

2. If you get back together after breaking up, there is a high probability that you will still break up. The reason is not surprising or the reason for the first breakup.

3. The relationship between loving each other but tormenting each other really exists. Don't say anything about loving each other, you can run in with each other and understand each other, the more two people love each other, the more tormented they feel, there is really a "love you are true, and it is true that you must leave you".

4. After breaking up, it is good for both parties to completely disconnect. Getting through the painful period is like getting rid of drug addiction, but as long as you get through it, to him, to yourself, to each other. If you really want to get back together, you have to rely on disconnection, this time is not too short, if you can still be together later, it may be more stable than before, but it may also be that the rivers and lakes are really gone, it doesn't matter, anyway, they all have to be separated in the end.

5. Don't lose yourself because of him, what he likes is the old you, if you lose yourself because of him, it will only make him feel tired, and at the same time lose the mystery before. People always like to feel less certain, and when you lose yourself for him, the sense of novelty and conquest is gone.

6. Your love for roses is not because roses are more beautiful than other flowers, but simply because you put more effort into them. After breaking up, you must learn to face the reality, don't entangle, don't look back, no matter how sad you are, you can carry it yourself, or tell your friends, don't let him know. He may be distressed and soft-hearted, but that's not liking, so there's no point.

7. When she loves you, it will make you have the illusion that this person will never leave you, but this kind of person who relies too much on feelings has one of the most fatal drawbacks, once the feeling is not there, she will simply take back everything, completely do not love you, and even have no patience for a period of time.

The biggest influence left on me by my predecessor is that I must have a strong heart, I can't rely on anyone, and only when I am strong can I make my life better.

Breakup Falling out of love can be one of the most common traumatic events people encounter in their lives. We have shared with you how this multi-layered and complex "loss" will affect us - not only the loss of our lovers, but also the loss of the rhythm of our current life, the loss of the original good past, the loss of a possible future, and the loss of love will even change our personality: in your current personality, there are hands you have broken up - Zhihu column But an intimate relationship can bring us more than just "loss", we once asked our fans and friends, " What influence did your ex have on you?

Many friends shared their stories with us, and after reading the story, we couldn't help but feel that these are not so much the influence brought by their exes, but the influence they brought to themselves through their exes. Because some people always get more denial of themselves and the world from the experience of being loved or hurt, and there are also people who get more love for themselves and the world no matter what kind of experience they get - the best thing is not ta, but such yourself.

The biggest influence my predecessor left on me was how I behaved in the world. Filial. Empathetic,

There is no ex, so it can only be said that the subject's ex left him with some influence. Personality will change, and it will not be easy to mention breaking up.

There are many of them, such as emotional damage, life impact, and so on.

To a certain extent, the predecessor will definitely have an impact on the criteria for choosing a mate in the future.

The fall of a relationship, for both parties, is a sting that goes deep into the bone marrow. The past is eroding their hearts all the time.

Walking past the places we have stayed together, we will stop to remember. Seeing the token of the love I once loved, my thoughts were like cotton threads, entangled with myself. These former beauties have become their own weaknesses, which cannot be touched, and once touched, tears burst instantly.

A good ex will shape your view of love. It will make you feel that love is what it is when you were with him. You will try to find his shadow in the love that follows.

And in a wounded relationship, you repair your broken heart countless times, wipe away your tears and want to start over, and want to avoid being hurt again in future love.

After breaking up with your ex, it will more or less affect your future concept of mate selection and how you get along.

The fact that your ex is excellent means that you are also a good person, otherwise how could an excellent ex be with you? So believe in yourself, you are excellent in yourself, and after that you still deserve to be a good person, don't question that.

You must have experienced a lot of interesting things in the good times of love in the past. Those interesting things have brought you a lot of great experiences and memories in Shitan. This ode is pure something worthy of affirmation, in later life, because people will go through experience, they will know how to choose their own suitable person, we can create more beauty with the future one.

Since you broke up with your ex, it means that there is always something inappropriate, and there are always some unhappy things that accumulate and lead to the end of the breakup.

Breakups make us sad, breakups make us disappointed in life, and as time goes on, we start to constantly reflect and we start to learn from the experience of breaking up.

We think about why we quarrel because socks are littered, why we quarrel because one person cooks and the other person doesn't want to do the dishes, why we quarrel because of your interruption when the other person needs to be quiet, why the other person gets angry because of your ununderstanding, why does the other person start changing the phone password? ......

It is the experience of our past breakups that makes us understand who we are, what we really need and what we can't accept.

We will also know what kind of person we are more suitable for, and how to get along better with our future partners for a long time.

Some people may think that they can't get rid of the past, and they can't get out of the past, but who is not living in the past experience?

Only by calmly facing the past and actively learning from experience can we better manage our future emotional life.