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First of all, we must know that everyone's personality characteristics are innate, and everyone's three views are also identified in their own growth process, you can't change another person's three views, and it is impossible to change your own three views, so when you are different from a person's three views, then I think you should avoid positive contact.
If you and your lover are very much in love, and you also firmly believe that your marriage can come to an end, then I think it is enough for you and your lover to have the same personality characteristics, you have common hobbies, and you have common goals, you can manage your love perfectly, and after the two of you get married, a new family is born, and you only need to take care of your own family, and don't have too much contact with each other's original family.
After all, people with different views, if they discuss a problem together, it will cause a lot of disagreements between two people, and the more such differences accumulate, the more one person will change his or her view of another person, which is particularly bad for your developmentI think my current other half, his original family has a different view than mine, so I avoid contact with them in daily life, except for holidays or traditional festivals, I will accompany my lover home to have a look.
And send my blessingsBut when discussing some issues, I will avoid lingering between these topics, because I know that our three views are different, so we have different views on any issueIf a person has another opinion, then it will make these people have a lot of arguments together, but I do like my significant other, so I will avoid these arguments, and I don't want to argue with them about things that don't make sense.
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Talk to your other half, let him talk to his family, think more from your point of view, and you should also understand the three views of the old man in his family and be considerate of each other, so that the relationship between the two can last for a long time.
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In this case, it's better not to live together as a family, it's better for two people to have an independent house, and try to let the other half communicate with the family about something, which will reduce friction.
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Work hard to make money, go out to buy a small house, and go out alone as a young couple, so that there will be fewer contacts with each other's original families and fewer conflicts.
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We should try to keep a certain distance from our original family, and don't let them have the opportunity to interfere with our lives, so that there will be a lot less contradictions and it will be easier to get along.
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If you have a different view from your partner's original family, you can try to live separately from it, so that the relationship will be easier to get along with.
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Different from the three views of the other half's original family, if we want to get along peacefully, we must maintain a more rational distance. Try not to live together.
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If the three views do not agree, try to avoid living together, and if there is no way, let the other half deal with it.
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Indeed, the original family is only the initial impact on us, but in the later environment, I have not more or less gotten rid of the influence on the original family, no longer two similar people, although the similarity of the original family will make it easier for us to communicate, but these dissimilar points will also lead to estrangement between us, if you want two people to go on, the original family is only one of the points, the focus is on whether the two people can tolerate each other in the run-in process, understand each other, and empathize.
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<> "Many times when we choose lovers, we will consider each other's appearance, personality, and work ability, but we rarely pay attention to the thinking pattern shaped by their growth experience.
Parents will take the ...... they formed about themselves, money, marriage, and the world as they grew upand so on beliefs and cognitions to pass on to the child. These beliefs and perceptions build our personality, which is our sense of self. Different feelings of self have different ways of responding to the world.
A person's sense of self is reflected in all his relationships, whether it is with his partner, with children, with money, with work, ......
For example, for some men, it is an honor to find a wife who can earn more money than themselves, but for another group of people it is a shame; For some, apologizing is a normal form of communication, while for others it is harder than reaching the sky. It's hard for us to realize that these are very personal standards, and instead we demand them from each other as the truth of the world.
So, it's often said, "I'm already very low, I just want .......""That's the bare minimum of it. "I didn't ask for a ......But at least ......Do it. "When we say these things, we are looking at each other from our own standpoint.
To think that these requirements are "simple" means that you do not have the ability to bring the other person's background into the other person's background.
It is only when our sense of self is expanded that we can move into a higher dimension to see things. For the same thing, when our perception and perspective change, we will respond to one thing in a completely different way.
If we can look at their behavior in the context of their upbringing. can realize the limitations of the other party, and some things that he can't do and can't do well are limited by his growth process; Some things that seem easy and simple to us are really not easy for the other party. We want her to be brave and responsible, and we want her to have a strong mother and a father who often runs away.
We hope that they can express more love and say some sweet words, but also see that their parents are silent and never express emotions.
Only by fully understanding their environment and feelings will it be easier to accept their shortcomings and limitations. The premise of supporting your partner to get out of the constraints of the family of origin is to have a higher and more stable energy state. When we are in a state of anxiety and irritability, we are not able to support others, and even unconsciously affect the other person in a negative state, making the other person's state worse.
Getting out of the gravitational pull of the family of origin requires great strength and is by no means an easy task. Acceptance, trust, and patience are required.
Acceptance means not judging the other person by their own standards, as it should be, as it should be. The power of belief is extremely powerful, and if we believe that the other person will change, then we can pass on that belief. If we think in our hearts, "That's it, we can't change it," then it will only reinforce the other person's negative state.
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Of course, and I think that the more people in the original family, the more eager they are to be happy, and we should also give more care and love to such people, so that we can make each other better.
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Of course, you can get along well with each other, even if it's the original family, you don't really have to care about it, as long as you treat each other well.
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If the original family is unhappy, you must strive to change your mentality, improve your sense of happiness, learn to give yourself love and security, and you can get along with each other in love. In fact, whether it is in love or otherwise, the original family has a great impact on a person, so the first thing is to try to change some bad things left by the original family on yourself.
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Yes, because falling in love has no relationship with the original family, it will not affect the emotional communication between the two parties.
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I don't think you can get along well with each other, but in fact, whether you can get along well with each other depends on your personality.
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I will be more concerned, because the influence on children in the family of origin is particularly great, and children are generally affected by it, and it is difficult to get out.
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I don't care about his upbringing, although the upbringing environment is not good, but as long as he truly loves me and cares about me, that's fine.
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I won't care, on the contrary, I will continue to encourage him, so that he will slowly become cheerful and willing to communicate with others.
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If my subject's family is really not in a good financial situation, I will understand. Because I like him, I will tolerate everything about him. So I'm going to stick with him.
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The original family is important, but the cultivation of oneself in society is also very important, even if the other half of his original family is not good, but he himself is very good, why not go on together?
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I think the family of origin has a greater impact on a person. I don't dare to continue when I encounter this, after all, I can't gamble with the happiness of my life!
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I will see what kind of person my other half is, and if his cultivation is very good, I will still marry him, because the person who has lived with me for the rest of my life is him after all, not his family.
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If I really love him, I will accept everything from him, he is him, his family is his family, I am living with him for the rest of my life, not his family.
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If it's really bad enough to seriously affect the future marriage, then I won't marry him. After getting married, there will definitely be contradictions, and the only love will be exhausted in constant quarrels, so it's better not to get married in the first place.
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I think it will, after all, I married him, not his family, and if the family conditions are poor, we can work together.
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For my native family, I am very inferior, I am not worthy of my husband, my husband's family is very good, his parents are also very good to me, but my family can not be described in words, he does not dislike me I am very satisfied.
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I won't, because even if I love him and marry him, there will still be a lot of conflicts in this family. Many times after marriage, it is not two people who live, but with a large family.
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A child from a poor family environment may not be psychologically sound when he grows up, so if I really love him, why don't I get married? It's a big deal, we just don't have much contact with his family in the future.
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Each of us comes from a family, and our family has a great influence on our behavior patterns, behavioral rules, and three views, and this influence is extremely complex and far-reaching. Each of our families is a whole, and each member of the whole is constantly influencing each other. So, what is the impact of our family of origin on our view of marriage and love?
Clause.
1. It influences our choice of spouse. When we choose our spouse, the influence of our family of origin will be reflected or represented. If we have a good family atmosphere and we love our family members very much, then we will choose a spouse based on our favorite family members of the opposite sex as a template.
When our family atmosphere is not very harmonious, then when we choose a spouse, we will choose to choose a broken spouse based on the opposite personality of the opposite sex family member that we hate.
Clause.
Second, it affects the way husband and wife get along. After we get married, the influence of our family of origin on us is reflected in the way we get along with our spouses. When the atmosphere of our original family is relatively warm, then the friendly way of getting along with our parents in our original family will subtly affect us, so that we and our spouses can also live in harmony according to the way of our parents.
If the parents in the family of origin do not get along harmoniously, then we and our spouses will not get along well in our married life.
Clause.
3. It affects the attitude towards one's own marriage. When the atmosphere of our original family is warmer, then we will have a positive attitude towards our marriage, thinking that our marriage is full of hope and will be happy. However, when the atmosphere of our original family is not harmonious, then we will have a negative attitude towards our marriage, thinking that we will not be happy after marriage.
Therefore, the influence of the original family on a person's view of marriage and love is extremely far-reaching, and this influence is imperceptible.
There were. Because my other half of the family is very traditional, patriarchal, and she has two older sisters, her parents didn't like her since she was a child, so she is not confident now.
To be honest, it's actually very difficult to get along with each other, because your ideas are completely different, and you can't talk about it together when you chat, which is easy to contradict.
I have to admit that the constellation is a magical thing, and it can't be explained as mysterious and magical, so I'll talk about the three zodiac signs I am most familiar with. The first Aries, because my brother is an Aries, it is a very happy thing to be in love with an Aries, they have enough pride in their bones to support them to move forward, in love he will give each other endless enthusiasm and love, innocent they will give each other a stable and warm home. The second Sagittarius, my boyfriend is a Sagittarius, he is cheerful and optimistic, he doesn't like to cry when he encounters things, and he doesn't like to reveal and vent his sad side to others at will, so the Sagittarius man will give each other a happy, happy and ordinary home. >>>More
The most important criterion for a boy to choose his other half is that the personalities of the two people should be compatible. When many couples are just together, the relationship between them is very good, but when they get along for a while, they will find that the other party is not very suitable for them, and the personalities of the two people are completely incompatible. For example, boys are very introverted, and girls are very extroverted, and girls will complain that boys are like a piece of wood and don't know any romance. >>>More
The prodigal son turns back, this kind of person who betrays the family and finds that the wonderful world outside is not as comfortable as coarse tea and light rice, he will return to the family, so to speak, the prodigal son turned back.