Why is it that putting expectations on others is often disappointed?

Sometimes it is better to ask for others than for yourself, and only when your waist is hard is it really the last word. Pin your hopes on others, your expectations are in the hands of others, there are a lot of unknowns, only in your own hands can really belong to yourself.

Don't expect too much from anyone, so that you won't be easily disappointed, from a psychological point of view, expecting too much from others is a sign of a weak personality, because the personality is weak, so outsource part of the self-function to others, expecting others to satisfy yourself, rather than doing it yourself.

2. Don't expect too much from others, you won't easily change others, and you can accept what others do, because you don't have a high expectation in advance, so that you won't be disappointed, so that your interpersonal relationships will be more harmonious.

3. Expecting too much from others, according to psychoanalytic psychology, is the "abuse" of others, which will cause harm to others, such as a difficult thing that you can't do, but you earnestly instruct others and expect others to do it.

Some people who have bad interpersonal relationships and unhappy lives often have too high expectations for others, because with high expectations, it is easy to have a gap and easily experience disappointment.

So why is it easy for a person to expect too much from others, what are the consequences of doing so, and what should we do, let's analyze it below.

1. Expecting too much from others is a sign of weak personality.

Always expect others, so why not expect yourself and not do it yourself? Because his own personality is weak, he is unable or unwilling to take responsibility.

This level of personality is very similar to the level of personality in infancy, where the little baby expects the mother to understand and satisfy herself, and she does not need to do anything but send signals.

According to the point of view of psychoanalytic psychology, if a person is not taken care of when he is a child, and is well satisfied when his needs are satisfied, then he will fantasize, fantasize about having an ideal mother-like person, understand himself, and satisfy himself.

Give yourself perfect, special care, and this psychological appeal is projected on all the relationships around you, most often in intimate relationships.

Of course, in ordinary friendships and workplace relationships, some people will have similar expectations, but the results are often disappointing for them.

Because the fantasy level and the reality level are completely different, no one can fully understand and meet the needs of an adult at the reality level, and no one is willing to give up the value of their lives to play the "mother" of others.

2. If you have too high expectations of others, it is easy to change them.

What is it easy for a person to do when they expect too much from others in a relationship and are disappointed? Usually it's about changing people.

If people don't cross by themselves, the sky can't help them.

Each of us will encounter countless troubles in life, and we all hope that someone will help us tide over the difficulties, and we hope that there will be noble people to support us.

However, it was not until the moment when I crossed the hill and found that no one was waiting for me that I fully understood:

In the end, only she can ferry Dylan, and in the end, we are the only ones who can make us live a good life.

A person who is truly mature is to be his own ferryman quietly.

01. Be your own ferryman.

Everything in the world is full of uncertainty, and pinning one's expectations on others will only become more and more passive.

Really smart people always know that being their own ferryman is the best way to solve problems.

As a quote from "Les Miserables": "I would rather rely on my own strength to open up my future than seek the favor of the powerful." ”

Remember what your first reaction was when you got stuck?

Is it to vent grievances and grief to friends? Or are you in a hurry to look through the address book and think that someone can pull you along?

In fact, the only one you can rely on the most is yourself.

Instead of waiting for someone to give you an umbrella when it rains, it is better to always keep a spare one in your bag and learn to hold an umbrella for yourself.

When you overcome the difficulties of life alone, you will find that you have already lived to be a thousand horses.

At this time, you have begun to be better than your past self, and you are stronger than you before.

02. Adjust your mentality.

Sanmao once sighed:

What is the heart, there is like a thousand miles of maze, across thousands of miles, there is no boat that can cross people, except for self-crossing, others can not help. ”

In the torrent of life, throughout our lives, we are learning how to be our own ferrymen.

The reason why we can't break down in life is because we can't stop the storm in our hearts.

Occasionally, when I was misunderstood, I felt that the whole world was a cold gun; When something bad happens, I think the sky is falling, and I can't do anything as I want.

When you reach a certain age, you know that life is like this, you live in a mood, but you live in a state of mind.

As the old saying goes, when you let go of your thoughts, you are at ease.

If you are being disturbed by disturbing things, you may want to learn to let go.

Stop the cranky thoughts, let go of the junk emotions, and get rid of the negative energy.

If you have a good mentality, you will not be so tired, you will be in a good mood, and all you see is a bright scenery.

03. Don't care what others think.

In life, we will always meet people who don't like us.

Their gossip, sometimes like the demons of the wasteland, slanders us.

As long as we close our eyes and don't care about other people's evaluations, we can walk our own path steadily.

In the stormy road of life, we don't have to use other people's rulers to measure our own lives.

There's always something like this in my ears:

You work hard, and he says you are a "struggler"; You follow your own track, and he says it's all "detours".

At this time, the best way is to block out the noise of the outside world.

You grit your teeth and continue to climb up, and every time you take a step up, you will find that there are a lot fewer cold guns and hidden arrows in life.

When you stand in the mountains and look back, the ridicule and ridicule of the past, but all.

Because everyone thinks differently and behaves differently Put all your expectations on others When others don't meet your ideal appearance, you will feel very dissatisfied In fact, you can try not to put expectations on others Because sometimes you can't achieve your ideal way Don't be too entangled, calm down and think from the other person's point of view, maybe you will get the answer you want.

This is a normal situation, and life is like this, which alternates between hope and disappointment. It is impossible for an ordinary person to hope for it, but it can be obtained. As long as you think of it, you can achieve it, which is definitely not an ordinary person.

For the vast majority of people, hope is the motivation to work hard and strive to achieve that hope. As for the result of disappointment, then start all over again, another hope, and another effort. Over and over again, if one day a hope is realized, then set another one, and start all over again.

Life matures like this.

People can't have smooth sailing in their lives, there are always some ups and downs, so don't have great hopes for some things, a trace of disappointment is caused by too much hope, do things and do your best, it's good to go with the flow.

Have you ever experienced this feeling, you have great hopes for a person, but the results are often unsatisfactory and always let you down. The disappointments and accumulations made me no longer have any illusions about him from now on. In fact, you know whether he loves you or not, but it's just wishful thinking and self-deception!

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This sense of disparity is frustrating. Perhaps you have never experienced such a feeling in love, and as a result, you will never understand what it was like to be a person at that time. Sometimes, we always overestimate our status in the eyes of others, so we are disappointed again and again, and we are defeated again and again.

After a long wait, all you understand is that you are not important to him, and you always make excuses for yourself, saying that he must have something to do, so what's wrong. Actually, you know it in your heart, but you just deceive yourself again.

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Whether a person loves you or not, doesn't care about you, you have feelings in your heart. If he disappoints you, do you think he loves you? Silly boy, don't lie to yourself, okay?

He really doesn't love you. If he loves you, how can he be willing to see you disappointed again and again? How can you bear to be lonely and sad again and again?

There is only one reason for this, he doesn't love you. The airport can't wait for the ship, this is very true, why bother to find yourself so much trouble? I used to think that he would come to the station to see you off, but when you waited for the shuttle bus to start, you couldn't see him, how sad and sad!

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If you feel that you don't love, please withdraw from this relationship as soon as possible, deceiving yourself will only make yourself deeper and deeper, and later you will only let yourself be disappointed and hurt again and again. If he doesn't love you, he will leave in style, anyway, the world is big, and a person can be happy and free!

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Because the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment, you expect too much from one thing, the disappointment will be magnified, too persistent in one thing, always feel that there is still hope, there is no rational and objective consideration, many times we go with the flow of one thing, and the result often makes us very happy.

Hope and disappointment are together. Hope and disappointment are like yin and yang. Only when there is yin can there be yang, and only when there is yang can there be yin.

There is hope, but there is also disappointment. There is disappointment, even despair, but there is also hope. Life has its ups and downs.

I don't know if you've seen the Yin and Yang Taiji diagram? Yin and Yang are balanced, with Yang in Yin and Yin in Yang. You will gain when you lose, and likewise, you will lose something when you gain.

Therefore, don't be too hopeful for something, and don't be too disappointed, everything needs to go with the flow.

Life is like this, the road of life is to walk out by yourself, everyone will encounter some ups and downs, some setbacks, because the greater your expectations for the goal, the greater the disappointment, give up because you don't see hope for the future, often give up, sometimes it is also a good opinion, there are many things, do not belong to yourself, sometimes seize the opportunity, set a position for your goal, life is beautiful, but always let some trivial things make a mess of yourself, don't think too much, life is short, treat yourself well! Don't let unnecessary things bother you, I hope some kind words can help you, I wish you a successful career, be happy every day, and live every day.

Hope and disappointment in life are coexisting, on the one hand, the higher the hope, the greater the disappointment, there are always some unsatisfactory places in life, as long as you work hard to live really but live, there is no regret, the road of life is very long, with good wishes, there is the motivation to move forward, there is no failure, you don't know the taste of happiness, practice to improve yourself, meet the new life, meet the new tomorrow.

While holding on to hope, you get disappointment at the same time, which shows that you still care about him. I hope that your other partner will cherish it so that you can last a long time.

This is normal, for the vast majority of people, hope is the motivation to work hard and strive for this hope. The result is disappointment, so start all over again. Over and over again, one day the hope will come true

If your expectations are too high and you don't achieve what you want, that's of course a disappointment. People's expectations should not be too high, but let nature be.

For example, if you take the college entrance examination, you successfully take the second book, and your hope of going to the university has indeed come true, and at the same time, you will not be satisfied, why did you not take the test, and disappointment will follow. Hope is the longing for the good, while disappointment is the demand for perfection.

I believe in the saying, the harder you work, the luckier you get!

Can you believe it? I'm in the same situation as you, but I'm still trying, the best is always given to you at the end, if you work a little harder, the good result will be given to you, then what can those who work harder than you do

This is society, survival of the fittest, good things will always start from the best people Of course, it is undeniable that there are gray areas in many fields, but if you are alone, I think, I have no choice but to work hard, come on, work together, people like you are the most in the current society, and I am also in this ranks.

As we continue to work hard, our team is getting smaller and smaller, because many people start to complain about the unfairness of life and their bad backgrounds, but that is not a choice, and hard work can be chosen.

Good luck. ~

People are like this, they always have great hopes before, and they will be disappointed if they don't achieve their goals, which is a sentence, the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment! So in some things, we must face them with a normal heart!

Because you ask too much of the other person, the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment, so when you interact with the other person, you must understand the other party, tolerate the other party, and treat each other in the city to be in a good mood.