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When parents raise their children, they must pay attention to cultivating their children's sense of independence and let them become an assertive person. Therefore, in daily life, don't help your child do everything well, let your child make your own decisions about some small things, let your child express your opinions on major events at home, and let him feel that his opinion is valued, so as to inspire his confidence and let him have confidence in the opinions he proposes. It is difficult for parents to raise their own children if they do everything for their children or do nothing for themselves.
Like what to wear every day, what to eat, these things can be decided by the child himself, although they are all small things, but these things in the child's world are the big things to face every day, starting from the small things to develop such a habit, and slowly grow into an assertive child.
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Cultivating children's assertiveness is actually to cultivate children's independence, so they can't let their children form a dependency psychology from an early age, as a parent is indeed a haven for children, but there are some things that he should face by himself or let him face it himself, as a parent can not deal with any problems for your children all his life, so they must not let them form this psychology that they want you to help when they want to help except for anything.
When something happens and they know how to deal with it themselves, they begin to slowly become assertive, so this needs to be cultivated slowly, and it is not something that can be learned in a day or two.
In the event of a problem, parents can watch from the side, take care of the safety of the big aspect, within this safe range, let the child deal with all the things independently, at the beginning will definitely not be adaptable, then you must be ruthless, it is your fault to help him, at this time you can not help them, this is a good thing for them, but they need to wait until they grow up to understand.
The child's assertiveness is constantly trained in such a scenario.
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I think: first of all, parents should be good role models! Do this well, and the child will develop the habit of being assertive, and have a more correct character! There will also be responsibility. Parents who do not have integrity will destroy their children's self-confidence and assertiveness!
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You may also understand the big truth, but you don't know how to do it, so I can give you an example.
There are two mothers, one named Ling and one named Mei, they are very good friends, and they are also neighbors, and the babies of the two families are about the same age, and they often go to the door.
One night, Ling went to Mei's house, the two babies read a book together, playing with toys were very happy, and Ling and Mei were also very happy, at this time it was late, Ling was going to take the baby home.
At this time, Ling's baby wants to take away the baby's toys, and this toy is the baby's favorite toy, if you are beautiful, what will you do at this time, the average parent will choose to let the child give up what he loves, let the child of the Ling family take home to play for a day.
But in fact, you are wrong here, what Mei should do is to ask the child, ask your child if you want your little friend to bring the toy back, if you don't want to respect his opinion, you can coax the child of the Ling family to change to other toys, if not, you can only tell Ling, the child is unwilling and can't force the child.
At this time, you are teaching your child to be assertive, this is not stingy, you are just giving the child's ownership of his own things, and he has the right to decide what he wants to do.
Don't underestimate a small thing, over time, the child will become an assertive child.
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In my life, I know a family, and the children have their own opinions and ideas.
I am familiar with the parents of the child. Parents are very busy at work, so they often communicate at the dinner table, they talk about their achievements and confusion and difficulties in their work, and they do not shy away from their children when discussing these, and sometimes they often ask their children's opinions.
The family atmosphere is relaxed and open-minded, parents do not play an absolute authoritative role, and once a week, the family members summarize the lessons and lessons of each family member this week. It's for every family member, not just for kids.
Children who grow up in such an atmosphere are good at expressing their own opinions, and they do not think that adults are always right, there is no absolute authority, and their own thoughts are equally important.
It is necessary to distinguish that there is an opinion, but not an opinion.
I have also seen such children who are too much.
Parents think that it is very important to cultivate their children to be assertive, so many things will ask their children's opinions, and every time the child's parents praise it, over time, the child has a lot of ideas, but *** is that he only thinks that he is right, and cannot accept different opinions.
This is the other extreme.
To be truly assertive, I have my opinion, but at the same time I defend your right to express my opinion. Seek common ground while reserving differences, constantly adjust and accept. This will be an invaluable quality especially in the future of teamwork.
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Parents are afraid to raise children who are not assertive, they are always afraid to make decisions, they don't know what they want, and they don't dare to express it. Such children will grow up to lose some of the respect they deserve because they have no ideas and no principles. But parents don't know that our casual behavior in our daily life is shaping the child's personality, that is, we destroy the child's original protective film.
So, how can we raise an assertive child?
The child is not assertive, it must be because there is a parent who often makes decisions for her. Because we have been deprived of the right to emotional freedom since childhood, and gradually trained to be a silent adult, we have become social beings who wear false masks. We can't be ourselves because we are gradually moving away from our true selves and our true feelings, and we are always habitually demanding ourselves by standards that meet the expectations of others.
So we impose this kind of thinking on children, causing them to be unassertive.
Respect the child's wishes, parents should not be too aggressive, make decisions for the child in everything, and take his opinion as the main thing. Parents are only guiding and assisting, as long as it is not involved in the issue of standards and safety, and respect the wishes of the child. What to eat, what to wear, let the child choose, this is easier said than done.
In addition to giving their children the opportunity to build themselves, parents also need to be patient. Don't wait for your child to have a 180-degree change immediately, or if you can't hold your breath, you will deprive your child of the opportunity to practice. We can't make decisions for our children all our lives, so for the sake of our children's future, parents must be patient and willing in many cases.
Discover the child's strengths, don't look at the defects, affirm and encourage more, and let his advantages carry forward. You will find fewer and fewer flaws, more and more advantages, and the child will become more and more confident and naturally have ideas. Parents must be clear and decisive in front of their children in order to influence them subtly.
If the child has a tendency or habit of hesitation, it is necessary to help him correct it immediately, and do not let it sprout in the child's body, otherwise it will ruin the child's future opportunities for progress.
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First of all, parents should lead by example, teach by example, set a good example for their children, whenever their children encounter something, parents must let their children solve it, because this can cultivate children's independence, and also tell children what is right and wrong, and also to establish a good behavior habit for children, but parents must buy their children some books they like to read, if parents can do a good job in these aspects, they will definitely be able to cultivate an assertive child.
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Don't always control your child, learn to respect your child's ideas, and know how to encourage your child, so that you can promote the development of your child's abilities. Let children make their own choices, stimulate children's abilities, promote children's thinking vitality, learn to respect children, let children grow by themselves, and exercise children more, these methods can make children become assertive.
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First of all, parents should know what their children need, and secondly, when doing something, they should let their children judge right and wrong, even if they do it wrong, they should let their children choose by themselves. In this way, the child will become very assertive and obedient.
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No matter what children do in life, they should respect their opinions and ideas, so that they can think alone. In this way, the child will become very assertive. You should also listen more to your child's ideas and opinions.
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Let the child be a little adult, set corresponding standards for the child, respect the child, and do not deprive the child of his right to freedom. It can let children make their own decisions, let children become assertive, let children set goals and plans for themselves, cultivate children's judgment ability, and let children have opportunities for self-construction.
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At a very young age, children should be allowed to judge for themselves and solve some things within their ability, so that children can become an assertive person. It will also make the child very smart.
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Parents learn more about family education, respect and encourage their children.
Parents try to let their children do what they can, and let them solve problems by themselves when they encounter them, so as to give them a space to think independently.
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In family education, as parents, we always feel that our children are still young, always persuade education from the front, and always hope to give our children more help. However, it is more counterproductive. The more we convince our children to "help" them, the later they will learn to walk.
As long as we give them more opportunities to try, let them explore, and try their mistakes, they will grow better from their mistakes.
It is said that a four-year-old girl is going to kindergarten for a small class. On the first day of school, the little girl dressed up and walked out. When her dad saw it, he immediately wanted to say, 'Wow, go back and change your clothes.'"
Why are you dressed so messily! "It turned out that she wore not only pants, but also a skirt, the sleeves of which were longer than the coat. At this time, her mother motioned to her father not to speak, and her mother told her to go to school first.
As a result, when she came back from class, the little girl said to her mother, 'It's all because of you that I was made fun of at school.'" That's when my mom took the opportunity to say to her, "Did I teach you how to dress?"
The little girl nodded, and her mother said, "Then why are you dressed like this today?" After such an exchange, the little girl listened. This mother is willing to let her daughter make mistakes, and indirectly tell her children what is wrong and what is right.
Of course, letting children try it out on their own doesn't mean that parents can be "talking about the shop" and leave their children alone – it's going from one extreme to the other. The same goes for the way the child tries it. As parents, we should know when and what things to try, when, under what circumstances, and in what ways to help our children.
It's something that parents have to think about and explore every day. Trial and error, in the case of controllable consequences, does get twice the result with half the effort.
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Usually should understand each other more, when encountering anything should be more concerned about each other, children should be allowed to be the master of the silver cave after the age of 6, and bear the consequences related to mitigating, so that the child will be very assertive, remember to disturb the state of the child should be corrected immediately if he does wrong, should not be ignored.
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If you want your child to have an opinion, you should usually let the child make your own decisions, even if you do it wrong, the child should also bear the relevant consequences, and finally you can cultivate excellent children.
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In life, children should learn to solve problems independently, so that children can develop better, so that children can make judgments calmly when they encounter problems, pay attention to the psychological development of children, pay attention to children's daily guidance, and do not spoil children in daily life. Hongmingzhi.
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When the child reaches a certain age, he should let the child make his own decision, if the child does not do it correctly, the parent can raise the rock to correct the trace, but the child should be allowed to choose to imagine by himself. Pay attention to the issue of proportion.
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The first is to let go of the scum and let the child do it by himself, don't interfere too much with the child's ideas, the child puts forward any good idea, parents should not deny it immediately, and explore it with the child.
Echo the idiom explanation.
Pinyin]: suí shēng fù hè >>>More
Personally, I think boys should be assertive, it's good, I'm just because I don't have an opinion, and a lot of things are bad, I think your situation is not much different from me, it may be the relationship between age and reading examples, some places can't make up their minds, this is normal, just say you go to high school, where do you think your friends go, the school must be good, and classmates, it's very good at that top, this is what you personally think, but as soon as your family says something else, you are depressed, and you will think a lot, this is a very common situation without opinions, talking about doing things, You should have seen such a thing on TV, when a person wants to do something, whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, others will say two sentences, if you don't hear it, forget it, once you hear it, you have to think about it, whether to do it or not, ambivalence makes you can't make up your mind, this is another situation, I don't think it's too assertive, too assertive, others will say that you are dead-eyed, do things too, you should be assertive when you have a decisive opinion, once you make a decision, you must dare to do it, because this is a decision you make from a few people, In short, it is good to be assertive
People who don't have an assertive idea always go along with others when they do things, don't have their own ideas, and live life day by day. People who are not assertive are always hesitant to do things, think a lot, speak nicely, and think thoughtfully, and at worst they are not decisive in doing things, worrying about this and that.
I'm also in my 20s, and sometimes I feel like I'm making slow progress... But we don't have to compare ourselves to others ... As long as we strive to make every day wonderful and strive to make ourselves improve every day, we can have no regrets. >>>More