The characteristics of Chinese style family relations, the characteristics of the Chinese family sys

The characteristics of Chinese-style family relationships are:

1.Symbiotic phenomenon: It is the excessive dependence of parents on their children emotionally, in life, and financially.

2.Prefer to arrange substitution: Parents always like to arrange everything for their children, whether the child needs it or not, completely ignoring the child's feelings.

3.Let children obey themselves absolutely: In many Chinese families, the relationship between parents and children is more like that of a leader and a subordinate, and parents are qualified to reprimand, blame, and discipline their children.

4.Punishment system: In many Chinese families, parents often punish their children in the name of love and discipline their children in the form of punishment.

5.Centralized rule: In a Chinese-style family, parents always have the final say, and children have no right to speak or vote.

6.Spoiling disaster: Most Chinese families have an inverted triangle family structure, and the inverted triangle family structure allows the only child in the family to be pampered by 3,000 people, which can easily make the child become selfish, have no empathy, and lack the ability to resist frustration.

7.Jackie Chan: In Chinese families, children are placed on too many expectations, and parents always hope that their children can glorify their ancestors, and always force their children to learn this and that, and raise their children to become a perfect person they think they are.

8.Preference for sons: Many Chinese families have different attitudes towards boys and girls, and girls are often not taken seriously.

9.Missing fatherhood: Fathers are common in Chinese families, with fathers rarely spending time with their children and caring about their children's growth.

It is worth noting that not all Chinese families have the above characteristics, and not all families are bad, as long as parents and children understand and respect each other, they can build a harmonious and happy family.

I think the most important feature of Chinese-style family relationships is that parents will feel that their children will never grow up, children will feel that their parents worry too much, and they will feel that their parents are always nagging. In fact, most families should be in this state. When the child grows up, in fact, as a parent, he always thinks that although the child has grown up, they are still very young, and they still don't worry about them going out alone, and they don't worry about them growing up independently.

Well, when children are young, they often feel that their parents are special nagging, and then all the words are said over and over again that you are always under the banner of being good for yourself, and the facts make them feel particularly awkward, or make them feel that they don't want me to do anything.

To put it bluntly, the relationship between Chinese families is very humane, not as indifferent as in foreign countries, which is also the basic national condition of our country.

The core position and structural characteristics of the Chinese family.

The Eastern world, represented by China, is very different from Western society in terms of social structure and function. In traditional Chinese society, the family is the core of social life and the foundation of the social system. It is the family, not the individual or the group, that constitutes the cornerstone of China's social structure, the prototype of the social system, and the elements of the social order; It is the family ethics that constitutes the basis of social ethics and statecraft, the family structure that constitutes the basis of the social structure and the form of the state, and the family function that constitutes the basis of the social function and the function of the state; Society and the state are based on the family in terms of structural amplification, functional strengthening, and reproduction and development of ethical relations.

The traditional Chinese family culture promotes more children and more blessings, and a couple generally raises 4 to 6 children. Among them, the eldest son is the main reliance and successor of family inheritance, parental authority inheritance, family property inheritance, and family relationship maintenance. The typical Chinese family structure is that there are many generations living in the same house, with as little as three generations and more than four or five generations living in the same house.

Unmarried children live with their parents and grandparents, and married children are either separated or not separated, but they are not divided. Many generations of sons eat in one pot, enter and exit one door, cultivate the same field, respect the same ancestor, are respected as a model, and are respected and admired by the four towns and eight miles.

At the top of the family structure are the parents. The head of the traditional Chinese family (generally male, occasionally with a female as the head, but not inevitable) can not be completely equated with the head of the modern family, he not only represents the whole family to the outside world, but also for all family members, he always means authority, holds power, he is the formulator, executor and maintainer of the "family rules", is the decision-maker and manager of family affairs, and is the organizer and coordinator of family production and life. He is at the heart of the family and is the ruler of the family.

Under the rule of the patriarch, family members implement the internal institutional norms of "men and women are different, and the elders and children are orderly", and "the father is the son, and the husband is the wife".

1. Patriarchal system.

2. Paternalism, emphasizing the respect and inferiority of the elders and the young.

3. The relationship between husband and wife is unequal, emphasizing the rights of husband and allowing concubines.

4. The family size is large, and it is generally a family group.

5. Pay attention to family education, so there is often a saying of family training and tutoring.

The differences between Chinese and Western family concepts are: different degrees of blood kinship, different family consciousness, and different relationships between children and parents.

1. The degree of attention to blood relatives is different.

1. China. The Chinese family concept attaches great importance to blood relations, and the main feature of the family structure of the Chinese is the extended family. Including nuclear families and extended families.

2. The West. Western families do not attach as much importance to blood ties as Chinese. In Western countries, the nuclear family is overwhelmingly dominant, while the extended family is minimal.

Second, the family consciousness is different.

1. China. Chinese families have a strong sense of family, family ethics are deeply rooted in their minds, and they have always pursued the tradition of respecting the elderly. Elderly people are often treated with special respect from their families and society.

2. The West. The family consciousness of Western families is weak, the foundation of Western society is the individual, and Western cultural values are centered on individualism. It celebrates the value of the human person and advocates the dignity of the human person and the free development of the personality. The relationship between parents and children is more equal.

3. The relationship between children and their parents is different.

1. China. In Chinese families, children are dependent on their parents when they are young, and parents make a lot of personal sacrifices for the family, but demand more obedience from their children. Children grow up to be responsible for the support of their parents, but in some cases continue to be dependent on their parents.

2. The West. In Western families, children do not live at home after graduating from secondary school, and young people pride themselves on their independence. When parents are old, they do not rely on their children, and children do not have the responsibility to support their parents, so both parties do not have so many obligations and responsibilities.

Westerners have no less family values than China.

First, for their own family, Westerners attach great importance to it, before marriage, they may be more casual with boyfriends and girlfriends, but after marriage, they will be very loyal, the ring does not leave their hands, not at all as some people describe, everyone is looking for a lover.

Second, for children, this is the biggest difference, parents are really very patient with their children, and they are very equal, really like friends. They always respect their children's choices, while Chinese parents are "you do what I say, what do children know??" In addition, the biggest difference between them is that they definitely love their partner more than they love their children (in China, on the contrary, parents love their children more than their partners, and most parents have a very strong desire to control their children).

Third, the elderly abroad, because of the better social insurance, they all live alone, and their children visit from time to time to cook together. And the elderly without children are very well taken care of, living in a clean and beautiful apartment, full of flowers and plants on the balcony (I am talking about a relatively rich country, of course), but they are very independent in their thinking and do not want to rely on others.

Fourth, in foreign countries, relatives call each other by name, when everyone chats, men and women, love, sex, everything, the children present are also very happy to express their opinions, and when eating with them, it will feel like a warmer gathering of friends. I really envy this kind of equal but loving family.

Lacking a sense of boundaries, there are only three things in this world:

Your own business, someone else's business, and God's business.

These three things. Our own boundaries have been clearly drawn:

Your own business: you can only do it yourself, don't rely on others;

Other people's business: only respect and acceptance, do not and should not impose interference;

God's business: Only God can call the shots, we can't control it, we can only cooperate well.

When it rains, you have to go out with an umbrella and encounter impermanence events and encounters.

It is necessary to constantly adjust yourself to deal with it positively.

When a person lacks a sense of boundaries, he will often entrust his own affairs to others and invite others to step into his own boundaries. Lacking a sense of boundaries, they will often impose their own will on others and forcibly step into the boundaries of others.

In this era of individuality, there are still so many parents who are more and more powerful and influence their children's love and marriage. Let the children choose filial piety, but taste the pain and regret alone; or stick to love, but struggle with guilt; Or in a dilemma, still wandering painfully at the crossroads. Seek adoption.

Because you were not born in a foreign country, you don't know about the family relationship in the foreign country.

Because Chinese people like to do things that hurt others under the banner of doing good for others.

Lack of trust, selfishness, and lack of love are fundamental.

First of all, it can be traced back to the ancient matrilineal clan period, due to the inter-tribal group marriage system, knowing the mother but not the father, and determining the ownership of the children by the mother, in the clan, the uncle played the role of the father, so the status of the uncle was very high. Sichuan folk have"Maternal nephew (like) maternal uncle"One said. Nowadays, for nephews, especially single-parent families, uncles can make up for the lack of fatherly love and give men a sense of protection and security.

Therefore, among the traditional relatives, all the people with the same surname who are eligible to participate in the inheritance of the family property lack neutrality and credibility when it comes to the actual division of the family property - at this time, it is necessary to introduce an "outsider" who is closest to the blood but is not qualified to inherit the family property to preside over the division.

This outsider is used to being an uncle. Because the uncle is qualified to take care of his niece's children in the future after his parents are gone, he has a special status in the kinship.

The reason for the highest status of uncles should be analyzed in two situations, one is matrilineal society and the other is patrilineal society.

In a matrilineal society, the mother's family is dominant, and the role of the father in the family is irrelevant. Even many times, people only know their mothers, but not their fathers. Therefore, at this time, the uncle, as the brother of the child's mother, played the role of a father and was responsible for taking care of the child to make up for the lack of father's love.

At this time, the status of the uncle is naturally very high.

The other is the patriarchal society we live in now. In today's society, after a woman gets married, she will be separated from her mother's family and belong to another family. For a person, an uncle is no longer his own family, but a relative.

So why are people still so close to their uncles? There are three reasons for this.

First, blood reasons. As his mother's brother, his uncle is very close by blood. Although the blood relationship of the aunt is also close.

But the uncle is a male character, and he has more status in the family and can take on important responsibilities. In the past, women had no say in the family, so even if they were close, they were close for nothing.

Second, there is no conflict of interest between the uncle and the nephew. Although the uncle and nephew are close, they are not involved in property disputes. The nephew has no right to inherit the grandfather's property and is not a threat to the uncle.

In the same way, the uncle does not have the right to inherit his own property. Therefore, this closeness is often just due to blood relations.

But uncles and uncles are different, and when the time comes, they will also have to fight for the property left by their grandfather, so they have to guard against it. Sometimes, though, it's also about interests. For example, when the prince wants to compete for the throne, his uncle will help him the most, and if his nephew becomes the emperor, the uncle will also get the corresponding status.

Third, in patrilineal societies, women who marry are often treated as outsiders. If a woman has no status in her husband's family, then the child she gives birth to will also be treated as an outsider. Therefore, the only thing that the child can rely on is his uncle.

Normally, uncles don't sit idly by.

Analyzed from two aspects:

1. The uncle is the representative of the mother's family and has the right to speak.

From ancient times to the present, uncles are often the representatives of their mother's family, and it can be said that the status and discourse power of uncles are a benchmark existence. In ancient times, the status of an uncle in the same generation was even equivalent to that of a father, and his decision-making power in matters of size could not be ignored.

For example, they have special responsibilities for the marriage and funeral of their sisters and the growth and marriage of their nephews. The nephew's mother is about to remarry, and the uncle is also the most crucial and decisive figure.

In the TV series "Do You Know If You Should Be Green, Fat, Red and Thin", the three sisters of the Sheng family, Mo Lan, Rulan, and Minglan felt that they were superior to others because they both had brothers, and often bullied Minglan who had no mother and brother to rely on.

2. There is no conflict of interest between uncles and nephews, and it is easier to get close.

There is a saying in China that "mother-in-law and uncle are great", and in just four words, it shows the status of the uncle in the relationship between uncle and nephew. It stands to reason that children should be closer to their father's uncles and uncles, why is this happening?

In patrilineal clans, the blood relationship is naturally closer to the uncle, but it is also the uncle who threatens his own interests more. Since ancient times, about the inheritance of family property, uncles and nephews have all fought for their heads under this blood relationship.

There is a conflict of interest, not only for princes and nobles, but also for small families. The uncle is a foreign relative, and he has no interests with his nephew, so he can have a strong family relationship. In order to maintain the relationship between the two, in ancient times, there was often a custom of nephews marrying uncles and daughters, in order to kiss each other.