What do you think about Chinese style family education?

Homeschooling in recent years.

It has always been a hot topic and has attracted the attention of the whole society. From "beating and abuse", "juvenile delinquency" to "juvenile suicide", all kinds of growth tragedies reflect the current dilemma of family education. It seems that parents have never paid more attention to home education than they do today, but they do not understand it.

Scientific early education, intellectual development, parent-child relationship, adolescent communication, ......These books have become bedside regulars for parents. Although I have kept the theories in the book in mind, when faced with the practical problems of children's growth, I still can't help but or take it for granted to carry out "Chinese-style family education" for children.

Nowadays, many parents can be called "Chinese-style parents", which means that most parents in China have the idea of hoping that their sons will become dragons and their daughters will become phoenixes, and in the process of education, there are characteristics such as psychological violence or excessive spoiling. I believe everyone is interested in "Mom is all for your good." This mother's very lethal words are deeply memorable, and this sentence has long limited the self of many children.

Chinese-style education tends to take children too seriously, and there is a common phenomenon that once a child is born, the whole family's life revolves completely around the child. After work, no matter how tired you are, you have to help your child with homework or play with your child; I don't dare to ask friends easily on weekends, so I have to accompany my children to tutoring classes; Even a rare annual leave.

When traveling, you should choose a place that is suitable for children. This way of revolving the whole family around the child will not only exhaust the parents, but also the child will not get enough space to grow.

Many Chinese parents like to pin their hopes on their children, because they are relatively more responsible for their children, so they also place greater hopes.

First of all, the more you give, the more hope you have, so this pressure will be transferred to the child. He hopes that children will follow their own hopes, go in their own wishes, and realize some of their unfulfilled ideals and ambitions.

Second, our parents are like parents in some countries, the more they give, the more they will place their trust in. Because the pay is proportional to the gain, there is no giving without asking for anything in return, and there is no parental love that does not remember the price at all.

Thirdly, it is also related to one of our traditional habits, traditional customs. Because of the deep-rooted traditional thinking of hoping that a daughter will become a phoenix and a son will become a dragon, everyone hopes that their children can achieve a career and then be able to glorify their ancestors.

Finally, as a child, there are some things that need to conform to the parents' wishes, but there are also things that need to be decided independently, and you should not rely too much on your parents. The end of relying too much on your parents is that you have to constantly follow their ideas and plans, which is also contrary to your own ideals.

For example, I just ask too much from my parents, and then the more they expect from my parents, so there will be a certain amount of conflict and pressure at this time. In the end, it will become a burden for both parties and a fuse for both parties to break free.

What is the difference between Chinese-style homeschooling and homeschooling abroad? Two different family relationships, in our country, parents always mean authority, and as rulers, they are in the leadership core of the family. American parents pay more attention to getting along with their children freely and equally.

Foreign parents are more inclined to "free-range" their children. The typical Chinese family is very strict with the management of children.

Two different family relationships. In our country, parents always mean authority, and as rulers, they are in the core of leadership in the family. Parents always feel that their children will never grow up, and the teaching of their children will continue for many years when they grow up.

In addition, in the minds of Chinese, the concept that elders are always teachers is deeply rooted. In the family, the elders can of course educate the juniors, and this creates an inequality in the family. After being in this environment for a long time, the child gradually gets used to living under multiple rules.

American parents pay more attention to getting along with their children freely and equally. When the child is young, we should respect him, give him personal autonomy, and let the child learn to make his own decisions and solve his own problems under the conditions allowed by society. They treat their children as individuals, treat them as equals, and treat them with respect and understanding.

Let children have the right to speak and participate in the family, American parents encourage children to have independent and reasonable thoughts; American children have a choice.

Most of them are developed countries, and parents abroad will also have time to spend on education. Foreign parents are more inclined to "free-range" their children. Compared to children who receive a Chinese-style education, children abroad will be very independent.

In foreign families, the education of parents tends to be guided. When faced with a problem, parents abroad will respect their children's choices and tell their children their thoughts and suggestions. The typical Chinese family is very strict with the management of children.

In some cases, they can guide children on the right path in life choices. Chinese parents are very concerned about their children's health, but in a fast-moving society, this care is rarely noticed. In order to make the final choice, it is the children themselves.

Whether it's good or bad, the final consequences are borne by the child himself. To be precise, the education of children is very strict. Many times it will help the child to make choices that are only good for the test.

Not taking into account the child's own private thoughts can lead to a lot of family conflicts.

Chinese children have been spoiled since childhood. In the eyes of their parents, these children are too young. What do we do if something goes wrong or isn't done well?

So parents often like to do it for them. Therefore, the children are very considerate in terms of food, clothing, housing and transportation. They eat a nutritious mix every day.

Needless to say, parents pick up the car every day, and they are afraid that their children will have an accident on the way to school.

The biggest difference between Chinese-style education and foreign education is that China will be more protective, while foreign education is an open education, in the process of treating children, Chinese-style education is more inclined to support children, and foreign education is more inclined to the independent cultivation of children.

The focus of the two is different. Chinese homeschooling hopes for the healthy growth of children and will also meet the needs of children. Foreign home education will focus on development, and the child's brain will allow the child to take appropriate risks.

The two approaches to education are completely different. Family education in China will pay more attention to children's values and behaviors. Foreign family education will pay more attention to stimulating children's nature.

Many practices in Chinese education are not correct, because we have found that many parents make a lot of mistakes when educating their children. Today, I would like to talk to you carefully about some of the characteristics of Chinese-style education.

You will find that many parents in China will habitually dump the pot, dump the pot on the teacher, the child, and others, and will not admit that they have done wrong anyway. When facing children, parents feel that they are elders, and children must respect themselves, so they will not care about their children's thoughts. As for education, parents feel that it is the responsibility of the teacher, so parents will directly blame the teacher for this mistake.

I feel that this kind of education is very wrong, and it may also make our children become a person who does not dare to take responsibility, and it will also lead to children becoming very cowardly, and children will habitually dump their mistakes on others in the future.

Nowadays, our Chinese parents ignore their children's happiness and put a lot of pressure on their children, and when their children feel unhappy, parents do not think from the perspective of their children. Instead, he focused on the child's academic performance and the child's exam ranking. If there is a decline in the child's academic performance, parents will immediately criticize the child, and this kind of education method also leads to many children suffering from depression.

There are many parents in China who feel that what they choose for their children is the most correct, and they will not consider their children's opinions, nor will they consider anyone's opinions, as long as they choose for their children, then it is for the good of their children. Even if the child is very unhappy, the parents will not take it to heart, but will think that it is the child's mistake.

The characteristics of Chinese-style family education are doting on children, protecting children, helping children evade responsibility, arranging all things for children, controlling children's play time, limiting children's friends, and cramming education.

There are many characteristics, there are many fathers absent in family education, violent behavior will occur when educating children, it will hit children's self-esteem, do not pay attention to psychological education, and ignore the development of children's personality.

Parents have no sense of responsibility, will put pressure on their children, will also dump the blame, do not understand the correct way of education, will ignore family education, and will also force children to choose a major they don't like.

Parents will put a lot of pressure on their children, parents will not have a good role model, parents will have some very bad habits, do not pay attention to cultivating children's independent ability, do everything for children, and often scold children.

Chinese-style homeschooling.

What is the way? Is this type of education good for children?

1.Chinese-style family education refers to some educational shortcomings and problems in China, which is not good for children. Homeschooling is the education that parents implement for their children in their family life.

According to modern concepts, parents hire teachers who specialize in home education to educate their children. Abbreviated as education and family education. Many parents impose their dreams or aspirations on their children.

If the child does not obey or does not achieve it, he will be extremely disappointed and even miserable. In fact, this violates another principle of "people-oriented" family education. Children are the core of family education, and parents should respect their children's wishes and guide them reasonably.

2.Most people aren't sure what they really like and what they fit into until they're 18. In addition to laying our knowledge foundation and developing our learning ideas, the knowledge learned before this time also plays an important role in exploring our own learning methods in combination with practice.

Develop good study habits. Scores are not an accurate test of whether we have learned the right way to study. Beijing Normal University.

Sun Jin, an associate professor in the Department of Education, disapproves of "hitting" children. Violent punishment by parents will make children learn to use force to solve problems, and frequent hitting of children will cause children to be timid, sensitive, and confident, which is not conducive to the formation of a sunny personality. We can do this by reducing our pocket money.

Material incentives such as gifts to punish them and let them know the bottom line of their actions.

3.Many parents often treat their children with condescension, demanding that they obey themselves. Children don't have their own ideas and privacy.

In this unequal relationship, parents unconsciously do a lot of disrespectful behavior. Parents should learn to respect their children, put down their posture and listen to their children's ideas. As the child grows up and the child's perception of things matures, the role of the parent should change from the dominant position to the listener, so that the child has more opportunities to choose and speak independently.

Arbitrary communication not only hinders the formation of this ability to infiltrate laughter, but also does not contribute to the establishment of self-confidence.

Generally speaking, if the child is not obedient, the parents will beat the child and make the child obedient, which is not good for the child at all.

Chinese parents believe that tutoring, conformity, and bias are good for their children; In fact, this is not the case, this kind of education method is not conducive to the healthy development of children's physical and mental health, and the correct and reasonable education method should be adopted. Stupid.

Chinese-style family education is to spoil children excessively, and I think this method is very bad for children, and it cannot allow children to develop an independent character.

At present, there are the following problems in Chinese-style family education:

1. The problem of intergenerational upbringing.

This is a contradiction with Chinese characteristics. Generally, the following situations are prone to occur:

1) Inconsistent educational concepts. Inconsistent educational concepts are often due to the fact that there is no standard, or there is no standard that can be persuaded, and inconsistent concepts will lead to inconsistent educational attitudes and educational methods for the same behavior.

2) The struggle for power to educate children.

3) Absence of paternal and maternal positions.

Children in this environment are prone to poor sense of rules, poor principles, chaotic behavioral standards, like to exploit loopholes, unclear behavior, easy to develop dependence, easy to lack a sense of security, and easy to deviate from family concepts.

2. The problem of over-reliance on school education and social education:

1) Too busy to take care of the children, send them to boarding schools Xiangxu, or nursery classes, training classes. Fill your child's time with plenty of schooling and skills education.

2) Expecting too much from the school teacher, shirking responsibility in disguise, and often using the language: the teacher has the final say, and the child will listen to the teacher if he doesn't listen to us.

3) Being too optimistic about social education, thinking that it would be good for children to grow up and hone in society.

There will be problems with the child's sense of security, intimacy with the parents, and connectivity, and parents are not easy to pay attention to the child's behavioral deviations, and once there is a problem, it is difficult to adjust.

3. The problem of mismatch between educational philosophy and educational environment:

1) Most of the popular educational concepts in society come from abroad, and I have learned a lot of concepts, and I feel that I know everything and can do anything.

I myself have studied and dabbled in most of the educational theories that have emerged, and do not evaluate the merits of any theory, I think that existence is reasonable, suitable or not appropriate, the focus is on whether it matches the family environment, parents' behavior, and children's characteristics.

2) There is often a gap between the ideal and the reality.

The national conditions are different, the environment is different, the family situation is different, the various educational theories from abroad are not adaptable, and it is difficult to implement, and parents will also have certain expectations for these theories, so once the effect is not achieved, the disappointment will be greater, and then the education method will be changed, but the child will be at a loss.

4. The contradiction between the general environment of test-oriented education and personalized growth

1) China is still in the environment of exam-oriented education, and the evaluation criteria for children's learning in school education are relatively simple, and there will inevitably be screening, competition and ranking. Under a single evaluation standard, the definition of excellence will also be very simple, except for learning, the advantages in other aspects are not the mainstream, and there is no way to cultivate and give full play.

2) Most parents have grown up from this single evaluation standard for test-oriented education, and it is difficult to get rid of this evaluation standard, and children who do not learn well will be hit and disagreed with more. Individual differences are difficult to get right.