What are the common problems of family education in China today?

1. Indifference to children.

Nowadays, many children are the treasures of the family, but there are still a few parents who feel "disgusted" with their children and have an indifferent attitude towards their children. Children who grow up in such families are usually very fragile and have high self-esteem.

Low, withdrawn personality, suspicious that others may hate themselves, abandon others first.

2. The requirements for children are too perfect. In some families, no matter how well the child behaves, they are unable to meet the expectations of their parents. Parents are constantly asking their children to "do better next time".

Children who grow up in such families have constant demands on themselves, do not know how to appreciate the strengths of others, and do not know how to tolerate and understand the "shortcomings" of others.

3. Neglect of care.

Nowadays, raising a child is not easy and requires a large capital investment. As a result, some parents neglect the care of their children because they are busy with work or livelihood, thus neglecting the spiritual and life needs of their children. Children who grow up in such families find it more difficult to form intimate relationships with others.

There is no sense of belonging.

Lack of self-awareness.

It is easy to generate negative emotions.

4. Too much nagging.

Some parents nag endlessly, accustomed to giving their children orders, or telling them over and over again, or arranging the details of their children's lives in detail. Children don't have the opportunity to decide their own things. Children who grow up in such families have poor autonomy, do not do things spontaneously and actively, and are accustomed to listening to other people's instructions.

5. Too strict education.

Today, many parents still believe that filial sons are born under the stick. If they want their children to have a hopeful future, corporal punishment education is inevitable. Children who grow up in such families are accustomed to seeing other people's faces, are usually afraid to express their thoughts, are afraid of punishment, and lack self-confidence.

Some parents < in order to be "good parents" in their children's hearts

6. Be responsive.

Some parents even go out of their way to accommodate their children's requests, even though some of them are unreasonable. Children who grow up in such families tend to be headstrong, short-tempered, self-centered, and ignore the feelings of others.

7. Overprotective of children. Some parents think about everything for their children. Often, children make all sorts of arrangements for their children before they speak.

Children who grow up in such families are often not interested in the people and things around them, but want others to love them. When they feel a little upset, they feel wronged, as if someone else owes him.

In today's society, many family educators will enroll their children in cram schools, and without the consent of the children, they will force the children to study, pay special attention to the children's academic performance, pay attention to the children's test scores, do not pay attention to the children's mental health, and do not pay attention to the cultivation of children's interests and hobbies.

The common problem is that in today's society, family education is relatively lacking, the time to accompany children is very short, always care about children's grades, do not care about children's psychology, and there will always be criticism when educating children.

Parents always like to hit their children, like to compare their children with other children, parents always put their own ideas on their children to put a lot of pressure on their children, parents will not really understand their children's thoughts, can not communicate with children on an equal footing, and always like to tell others about their children's shortcomings.

Clause. 1. Advanced education. Now many parents will put forward the educational point of view that "children cannot lose at the starting line", and according to the implementation of this set of theories, many preschool children have been enrolled in various interest classes, and the child's childhood is miserable, which is not material deprivation, but spiritual fatigue.

What's more, some people engaged in education put forward the concept of prenatal education, which is actually meaningless to give ** to unborn children. The child can't hear it at all through the thick belly, so why not let the child sleep peacefully, it's all a blind toss.

Second, result-oriented education. Some parents only look at their children's test scores, as long as the test is good, there is no problem, once there is some regression, such parents ignore the fact that the child's grades are originally a fluctuating range, you can't always ask him in a straight line, but the child is in the trough, what he needs most is the encouragement and help of his parents, not criticism and accusation.

The correct approach should be process-oriented, the child has worked hard, it doesn't matter what the result is, there is no problem if you don't do well in an exam, the important thing is to help the child find the knowledge points that he has not mastered, and the continuous improvement of the grades will naturally go up.

Third, parents often say "other people's children", which is actually a blow to their children's self-confidence, in the long run, the child has no motivation to learn, because he finds that no matter how hard he tries can not catch up with "other people's children", a person has no self-confidence is very terrible. The right thing to do is to first affirm your child's achievements and let them understand the importance of process effort.

The biggest misunderstanding of family education in China is that parents only regard their children as children, and are not yet an independent individual who gradually has their own ideas, blindly listening to the wind and educating according to other people's methods, without teaching them according to their aptitude, and over-expecting them, which emphasizes utilitarianism very much.

In fact, I always say that every parent says, don't let my child lose to the starting line, but where is the end?

In fact, most parents are influenced by market values and the overall ideological and moral culture, and unconsciously position the so-called goal of their children's growth on success, and this success often has the characteristics of utilitarianism, materialism, and reality.

Such a thinking has prompted parents to adopt many behaviors that deviate from the laws of children's development. Therefore, we believe that the unhappiness and unhealthy lifestyle of Chinese children in general stem precisely from this excessive love.

So this problem has been around for a long time, our only child is the social status quo, especially now that the material life is constantly improving, many families put all their energy and financial resources on their children, and lack strict requirements and very important behavioral training for children.

So we did a survey not long ago: children choose what to say and who to say, the results of this survey, the first choice is from the past friends do not understand children, rarely seriously study and think about children.

In my opinion, there are five major misunderstandings in our family education: First, the questions raised by children should be answered with science and truth, rather than with myths and superstitions.

Nowadays, with the rapid development of science and technology, in order to let children learn more scientific and cultural knowledge, adults should use science and truth to answer questions about scientific knowledge to children, so that children can keep up with the pace of the times. On the contrary, misleading children with those myths and superstitious stories can only make children ignorant and unable to keep up with the progress of the times.

Second, like obedient and well-behaved children.

In the minds of most Chinese parents, obedient and well-behaved children are good children. Obedient and well-behaved children are more reassuring to adults at home, and their lives are arranged by their parents, and they rarely do things that their parents are not allowed to do; Children who are well-behaved and obedient at school are more liked by teachers, they pay attention to lectures in class, complete homework on time, and rarely violate school discipline. Such children are easier to manage.

Those children who are mischievous and disobedient are often considered bad children. At home, naughty children tend to be more curious than obedient children and often ask strange questions.

Third, use violent methods to educate children.

When educating their children, many parents use violence if they are not obedient, either beating or scolding. Some parents often call their children ", brutes, stupid, and brainless...... when they get angry"There are also some parents who have their own skills, hate iron and steel, have high requirements for their children, and often scold their children if their children's academic performance is not good. Some children are not convinced, and they talk back to their parents, and they are even more annoyed.

Some parents even often use force, picking up sticks whenever their children make mistakes.

Fourth, spoiling children too much. The opposite of violent education methods is too much spoiling of children.

Due to the influence of family planning in the current society, there are many single-child families, and some families even have a 4+2+1 type of member distribution, that is, not only the child is the only child, but the child's parents themselves are also only children, which forms a family form of four old people, two adults and one child. Since there is only one child in the family, many parents and the elderly regard their children as treasures and pearls in their hands, and they are afraid of falling in their hands and afraid of melting in their mouths, which spoils their children.

Fifth, cramming compulsory education.

In a single-child family, the family pins all their hopes on the child. In order to make their children grow up to become useful talents, many parents prematurely implement cramming compulsory education for their children, so that their children lose the liveliness and happiness that they should have in childhood.

China's family education and school education lack children's labor education, hands-on ability, motor skills training, and enthusiasm for paying attention to and understanding nature. In the family, children do not have an independent personality, do not have the right to know the world by themselves, explore the unknown, and do not have the freedom to choose what they want to do. Again, students are not treated as human beings in school education.

Students are like the products of the factory, just according to the standard process processing, do not take into account the aptitude of teaching, look at the content of students now how many humanized things, are all the standard questions of exam-oriented education, homework pressure students can not straighten their waists, childhood fun are replaced by cram schools, so some experts say that "China's outstanding students are processed by machines".

Because the focus of life is on book knowledge, even in rural areas, children who do not distinguish between grains and grains abound, not to mention the various questions of urban children similar to whether peanuts are on trees, and the knowledge of nature is blocked out of the campus. In major schools, spring and autumn outings that have existed in the past are rare. Today, when every inch of land is valuable, there are even fewer agricultural bases open to students.

A few years ago, the school held two remote games every year in spring and autumn, and in various competitions, teachers and students waved their flags and shouted, so lively, and now this kind of scene is hard to find...Due to the rapid development of modernization and intelligence, it is impossible for people to work hard as before, but it is still very necessary for students to do something they can do. Because it is very helpful for health, for broadening one's horizons, and for cultivating a resolute character.

I think that today's education, whether it is family education or school education, lacks gratitude education. If people lack gratitude, there will be mother-killing incidents; If you lack gratitude, you will be arrogant to your parents; If you lack gratitude, you will slap the teacher twenty years later; If you lack gratitude, you will not listen to the teachings ......If you know how to be grateful, children can understand the hard work of their parents and teachers, and will naturally follow the teachings of their parents and teachers, and parents and teachers do not need to quit the ruler. If you know how to be grateful, children can appreciate the hard work of parents and teachers, and will naturally share the burden of parents and teachers, and parents and teachers will appreciate and love children more

The existing problems are: the physical quality of students is reduced due to excessive learning burden, the poor psychological tolerance of students is caused by excessive learning pressure, and the moral quality of students is not high.

There are a lot of problems. Nowadays, school education and family education pay too much attention to children's academic performance, ignore children's inner development, and ignore children's quality education. It causes too much stress to the child, and the child loses a lot of the happiness it deserves.

School education may focus on children's learning of knowledge and inhibit children's all-round development.

Family education neglects the education of children's growth, such as the cultivation of personal attitudes, emotions and values.

In the current school education and family education, the content of education is relatively fixed, school education has certain limitations, there are many teaching objects, and it is difficult to give full play to the unique advantages of students, while the educators of family education only have parents and relatives, and it is difficult to carry out education.

I think homeschooling is now the top three misconceptions. Misconceptions are known as excessive expectations. This expectation is very pertinent.

In fact, I always said that every parent is talking, don't let the child lose to the starting line, but the end? In fact, most parents, influenced by market values and also by the overall intellectual and moral culture, unconsciously orient their children's growth, and this success is often characterized by exploitation, fulfillment and realization. This thinking prompts parents to adopt many behaviors that deviate from their children.

So we believe that the unhappy life and unhealthy lifestyle of Chinese children just stem from this excessive expectation.

It's excessive love, otherwise it's too caring. And then the problem has been very long, the social status of our only child, especially the continuous improvement of material life, many families put all their energy financial resources in children, lack of strict requirements and very important behavioral training for children. So we don't have a long-term investigation :

The child chooses to have a heart, who said that the results of this survey, the first choice has become a past mother. Currently, many children even have a strong dependence on their families, and this dependence includes life and, more importantly, psychological. For the Chinese generation of children, this feeling of unsuccess is very large.

The misconception is that children are not understood, and little learning and thinking about children. Many of our parents have shaped their children in their own minds, but we are facing rapidly changing times. The current children are wide, they live in the conditions of the Chinese, never there, in the information environment, as well as in a relaxed political environment, they have their own characteristics of value perception, as well as their own thinking characteristics, which is incomprehensible if you do not communicate, this family relationship that cannot support each other will certainly support family education.

Three Misunderstandings of Family Education In fact, the so-called family education, it includes several important factors: Family education is not a one-way education for the children of the elders, especially the parents, but a - family, which is a family that involves all the elements, not that you teach him, but deliberately, unintentionally, materially, spiritually in all aspects and spiritual spirit are greater, which is the first very important function. Family education is an interaction, not that parents are the subject and children are the objects, but an interaction, and the children themselves are one of the participating leaders of family education.

From this point of view, family education can truly achieve good relationships between families and can also lay the foundation for education.