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When you see a familiar face or someone who looks like you, you are more likely to feel a sense of familiarity than others and think that it is easier to become friends in life. In this case, the same is true for couples. This tendency has been confirmed in the statistics of many social platforms, the more similar places to us, the easier it is for us to like each other, which is why we always find that many couples will have husband and wife looks.
Causes.
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The reason why people like to associate with people who are very similar to themselves is precisely because we know ourselves, we are very familiar with ourselves, and we feel familiar and safe with people who are similar to us, or who have common characteristics, and this tendency is deep-rooted.
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These feelings of familiarity and security make us like ourselves more because we no longer feel anxious. We belong, our self-esteem is raised, and we feel happy. People like to feel good about themselves and also want to feel safe and in a familiar environment, and similarity is very effective in meeting these needs.
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A person who is very similar to his own personality is similar to himself in dealing with problems and hobbies, etc., so that you will have more common language together, and there will be few contradictions, everything is reasonable.
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Normally, people will like people who have the opposite personality to them, so that they will be attractive to each other, and second, they will complement each other.
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In a way, our minds and social** play a similar role: throughout our lives, we are all looking for a good partner, and when we find one, we are happy. And the more we resemble us, the more we tend to like each other.
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Similar feelings bring a sense of security, and this pattern of response applies even when we are looking for an emotional experience, such as when we listen to **. The first time you listen to a new song, it's hard to fully appreciate it, and it's only after listening to it a few times that you like it.
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The more we resemble our partner, the more we like each otherWe spend our lives looking for people who make us feel comfortable because they are very similar to us.
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It's in our nature to expect something familiar or similar, and that's the basic way our brains function.
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Familiar faces make people feel more relatable, and it turns out that familiarity does not lead to contempt, but rather to a feeling of comfort.
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Because of similar personalities, they get to know each other. You know his thoughts, and he can read your minds.
For example, we often find a person with the same surname as ourselves in the crowd, we will have an inexplicable sense of closeness, especially the uncommon surname, if I meet a stranger with the same surname as me one day, I may be so excited that I burst into tears; If you find that one of the people is born on the same year, month, and day as you, you have to shake hands with each other a few more times.
Similar personalities give couples a sense of familiarity, and it doesn't take too long for each other to run in, get to know each other and then accompany each other. Two people with similar attitudes, hobbies, and opinions are easy to resonate. The distance between hearts will be much closer.
Different personalities give couples a sense of freshness, and this emotional union is an attraction factor. You fall in love with someone because they have qualities that you have always wanted to have but haven't realized.
Couples who usually break up on the grounds of "incompatible personalities", "not on the same channel", and "not people from the same world" are attracted to the other half who "don't know" in the early stages of their relationship. His presence gives you a lot of new feelings that you have never experienced before. These differences bring each other's love affair to life.
While similarity can reinforce interpersonal attraction, according to the "social exchange principle", the level of affection increases when both of each other's psychological needs are met in the other.
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False empathy bias: self-esteem.
False assympathy bias, also known as false agreement bias, was identified and proposed in 1977 by Stanford University professor of social psychology Rieros, who refers to a psychological universality in which people often overestimate or expand their beliefs, judgments, and behaviors. When confronted with conflicting information, this bias causes people to cling to their social perceptions, even if they are wrong.
People will always inadvertently exaggerate whether their opinions are correct or even attribute their own characteristics to others. Imagine that everyone or someone is the same as you, and if you are suspicious, you will look around for others to be as suspicious as you.
There are five factors that affect a person's false empathy bias:
1. When the current behavior or event is very important to you, you will firmly stand in the same camp with others or have similar thoughts.
2. When you are very sure and firm in your own views and opinions, people who are quite positive about the same issue will tend to have the same opinions as others.
3. When your status and normal life are threatened in some way, you will think that others hold the same view as yourself.
4. When it comes to a certain positive quality and personality, you will live a villain's belly with a gentleman's heart, and you will think that you are as good as others.
5. When you see other people as similar to yourself, you think that others are similar to your own behavior. Although this false empathy bias can be instinctive, and there is no good or bad thing, it often bothers oneself.
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Because that kind of person is like a mirror of yourself, you can see your own shortcomings through him, which is what you usually don't want to face. Another reason is that the desire to be different and unique makes people who don't want to be like that.
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It's not so much that you hate people who have a similar personality to you, but that you don't want to lose to yourself. Think about it from another angle, if a person has similar conditions as you, has similar ways of doing things, and has similar grades. But he is better than you, but when you are not living well, he becomes a winner in life.
This psychology is definitely not balanced. I don't like to be friends with people like me because I don't like the feeling of being substitutable in the eyes of others.
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For people with similar personalities, they may have just met and met each other, and there will be that feeling of hating to see each other late. But after a long time, you will feel general and even annoying. I've always felt that to be a good friend, you have to have similar personalities, but this similarity is about 60%, and when you are similar to someone to about 80%, you will definitely have that kind of mutual disgust.
To a large extent, in your eyes, his shortcomings are your own shortcomings that you can't accept, especially for some people with strong personalities. I think people with the same personality can attract each other. It's just not suitable for falling in love or being close friends.
It's a good choice for ordinary friends.
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If the personalities are too similar, you will find that some of your little ideas that you don't want to be known can be felt and thought of completely, and there will be a feeling of being spied on without your own little secrets. Secondly, if the personalities of two people are very similar, then the pursuit and the pursuit of the path will also be similar, which will produce a conflict of interests, and it is inevitable that there will be defense and resistance.
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Just like girls often look in the mirror and think they don't look good, people who are similar to themselves are mirrors, and when you see your flaws exposed to the world, of course you will dislike them. Maybe I didn't feel good when I first met, but after a long time, there will be problems, and the two of them will be unhappy to see who is unhappy.
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I've met two people who are very similar to me. At first, I thought that Wow Sai was a good match with me, I like it so much! After a long time, I feel that people who are too similar are really only suitable for ordinary friends.
Because your ideas are so similar. There is little difference between the way people live in the world and the eyes of people. Maybe the one you hate is the part of your personality that you hate, but you don't realize it.
I just think why is this person so annoying all of a sudden? Why is it different from when we first met? But really, believe me, the hatred of seeing each other is only temporary, and the regret left by going too close is very long-lasting.
Personally, maybe it's my own problem. )
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I'm in that situation right now. Some of my boss's personality is quite similar to mine, and it is really uncomfortable to get along with. I also understand why other people used to get along with me like this.
Through her, I would see my previous problems, like a mirror. Whenever I encounter some situations and see some of her problems, my first thought is that I didn't expect that I was such a difficult person before, and I could also find myself with all kinds of problems. I will also keep reflecting on myself, glad that I have changed, and I am slowly no longer like this.
However, it is too painful to get along, and it is easy to perceive what kind of person the other person is and how to get along with each other. But I just don't want to be too accommodating...
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It's true that I also have a dislike with people with a similar personality to me, not because I don't like it, but I just feel speechless. But it's not noisy, but I know each other's familiar tricks very well, and I understand what kind of virtue the other party is. So, that's it, I can't bear to dislike it, just keep my distance.
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To say, it should be the most hated by myself, because of all kinds of dissatisfaction in myself. I also thought I hated people like me. However, when I find that others are the same as me, I feel warm, as if I have companions.
Seeing others pessimistic and frustrated is like seeing who you used to be, even if you are powerless, you hope that a few words can inspire others. I know that it is too difficult to regain a person's consciousness, and I don't want to be a virgin, I just want to stay. Comforting others is like comforting yourself.
That kind of feeling is like Sun Shaoping and Hao Hongmei in the opening chapter of "Ordinary World". Each is having a hard time.
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One, similar people are attracted.
Most of the time, people prefer people who have a lot in common with them, because people who have a lot in common with themselves will have a lot in common with themselves. Once there is a common topic, then the communication between the two parties will be more deeply rooted in the heart, and then the relationship will be easier to build, so when most people make friends, they usually choose those who have many things in common with themselves. When we look at our friends, we will also find that they are more or less similar to us.
So there is a good saying that we are all attracted to the same people in this world.
Second, different people have different personalities.
Although people like people who have a lot in common with them most of the time, there are also a small number of people who like people who are different from them, because they see something in different people that they don't have, so they want to get close to different people and understand them. For example, in middle school, many students who do not have good grades will actually have a feeling in their hearts when they see students with good grades, and they want to communicate with them and be close to them, which is a feeling that most people will have. , because of the students with bad grades, they are very envious of the students with good grades, so they want to be friends with them.
Third, different personalities collide with different sparks.
It's a good thing to be friends with people like you, because it will be very convenient, and sometimes the other person can know what he thinks in a few words, and that tacit understanding is very high. But being friends with those who have different personalities will create a very big spark, because the exchange of ideas will make us realize the differences between each other, and differences are the cornerstone of creativity, so we can't just make friends with people like ourselves, we also have to learn to make friends with those who are not like us, and make friends extensively, so that we can know which friends are really suitable for us, and which friends are just friends who can enjoy together.
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I think I still prefer people who have something in common, because the two people have a common topic, and the personalities of the two people are very similar.
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Everybody's thinking is different, and I prefer people who are the same as me, because it will make the two of us more resonant.
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Someone who is different from yourself. Because love needs to be complementary, and what is not is the most precious, so people will like those who are different from themselves.
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I would prefer people with similar personalities to me. Because in this way, two people will definitely get along more happily and comfortably, and there will not be too fierce conflicts.
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I prefer people with the opposite personality to me, because I don't feel like my own personality is very good, so I don't want to find someone like me.
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Of course, I prefer people with opposite personalities, if they have similar personalities, they can only be friends, and only people with opposite personalities can spark love.
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Of course, people with similar personalities can talk better, and two people have the same views on a thing, avoiding a lot of contradictions.
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I like people with similar personalities. Because in this way, two people will have a common topic, and their hobbies are the same, so it is not easy to be embarrassed.
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