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Because the cohabitation has been together for too long, the sense of mystery disappears, and then the contradictions between the two parties continue to expand, and there is no original sense of expectation for marriage, so it naturally becomes difficult to get married.
1. Cohabitation will make the mystery disappear Nowadays, many men and women choose to live together before marriage because they want to understand each other's living habits in advance, so as to avoid stepping into a wrong marriage. Of course, cohabitation has many advantages, such as not having to bear the responsibility of marital life, and there are no too many constraints, relatively speaking, you can live more easily and freely. But after living together for a long time, you will find that both men and women have become more free and equal, and after being together for a longer time, you will find that all the shortcomings of the other party are exposed in front of you.
After living together for a long time, you will find that all are unlocked, and the other party is completely familiar with each other, so it is natural to lose the original sense of mystery.
Second, if cohabitation completely exposes the shortcomings of the two and lives under the same roof together, it is easy to break the previous fantasy love. In a small space, everyone will completely reveal themselves, and when the shortcomings are completely exposed and the other party's faults are discovered, they will feel that the perfect image they established began to collapse. The other party began to become an ordinary person no longer mysteriously, so natural love has changed from utopia to secular fireworks in the world.
3. No longer looking forward to marriageAnd cohabitation is also equivalent to another marriage model, living together for a long time is so natural, I feel that marriage is not as good as I imagined, and I don't have so much expectation for marriage. Because you have already experienced the life after marriage during the time you live together, then marriage loses its attraction to the individual. And on the contrary, they will think that marriage will not be free because of the constraints of a marriage contract, and all previous plans will be disrupted by this.
Because I lost my yearning for marriage, I naturally couldn't get married after living together for a long time.
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After living together for a long time, two people slowly have no novelty, they are used to everything, and there will be more and more contradictions, you just live together and do not have any responsibility if you are not married, in fact, living together for a long time is no different from getting married, but it is not protected by law.
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Cohabitation is actually the same as married life after marriage, and the problems between the two will be exposed after a long time.
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First of all, there is no marriage commitment between cohabitants at all, and if they do not agree, they will be separated, and the trial marriage person will try their best to maintain the relationship like a real couple with the common goal of eventually moving towards marriage.
Secondly, because there is no subjective desire to pursue marriage, once the cohabitant encounters problems, it increases the sense of loss and even leads to violent conflicts. In recent years, the abuse and sexual harassment of children born out of wedlock by cohabiting partners has constituted a special social problem. National statistics show that cohabiting couples are far more violent than domestic violence.
The trial marriage is different, and pursuing the goal of marriage can make the relationship between the two people more resilient.
In addition, both parties to a cohabitation relationship value their own autonomy and personal interests. Under the cloak of "living together" are two separate individuals. Marriage trials, on the other hand, have a desire to communicate with each other, and they will strive to promote the degree of compatibility between the two, seeking to establish a more stable two-person world.
Professor Luo asked rhetorically: "With such a big difference in nature, how can we learn from the experience of marriage in cohabitation?" Reality tells us that the more cohabitation a person experiences, the easier it is to choose cohabitation over marriage.
Poor satisfaction with cohabitation relationships.
In China, the study of cohabitation is still not systematic, but since the late 80s of the last century, there have been two professors at Rogers University in New Jersey, USA. Porpenno and Barbara? d?
Whitehead, who has been studying cohabitation for 10 years. According to Professor Law, their report revealed that marriages formed through cohabitation had a 46% higher divorce rate than marriages entered into without cohabitation. The longer a couple cohabited before marriage, the more likely they are to think about divorce, and their sexual relationship is just as fragile.
In addition, the longer the cohabitation period, the more independent and reluctant the parties will be to be bound by the marriage, so the greater the likelihood of never marrying, and the breakdown rate of the cohabitation relationship is higher than that of the marital relationship. "Cohabitation is so common, there is a certain amount of responsibility. Because today's film and television works exaggerate the phenomenon of divorce, domestic violence and emotional betrayal, and lack the depiction of growing old together, this will make more young people afraid of marriage and choose to live together.
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Of course, this is the case, because the longer you live together, the more shortcomings the other party will have, and there will be more conflicts between the two parties, so the more you don't want to get married. In the dead of night, I always want to find a tranquility, find a space to be alone, and then let my thoughts drift with the wind, and escape for a while in the tranquility of cranky thoughts. When the soul can't bear the load of life, it can only send a signal to the sky that it is tired, too tired, and this feeling of tiredness is not something that ordinary people can imagine.
Every day I want to find peace in my soul, however, it is really difficult.
There is nothing in the world, and mediocrity disturbs itself. Maybe I'm just a philistine. Why look for tranquility in anything?
In fact, I want to hope for peace, in this extraordinary and bad day this year. I reflected and reflected. Most of the time I don't understand what I'm doing.
Kind of life. Kind of always tugging at people's minds on certain days. When it comes to the tranquility of seeking, everyone expects to have this moment.
For me, it may feel a little heavier in moments of solitude, but it's not absolute. Sometimes, although people are in a noisy and noisy environment, but the heart has already flown to the realm of not knowing what kind of, I often smile on my face, and I have seen through all the complicated things in my inner constancy. People sometimes pretend to be a master of the world, but in fact, it is not the case, and the appearance of all this is also due to countless times of crawling, and then the end of reflection.
There is no real excitement of benefits, no real heartfelt reverence for life and nature, no gratitude and appreciation for life and the world, no kind and transparent understanding, no kind and susceptible heart, no final awakening, and no natural tranquility and detachment. In many cases, the motivation to seek tranquility is far greater than the force caused by all external things, and it may also be a process of excellence in the pursuit of tranquility for each individual. Why is that?
I asked myself with a smile. For a person who is truly integrated into life, will sigh at the wonder of the creation of the world. The heartfelt reverence and concern for life and nature is a kind of sincere gratitude and admiration.
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There are many things that are only understood after falling in love, such as two people living together, the longer it is difficult to get married. The harder you try to be emotional, the more likely it is that it will lead to failure. And so on, these are all experienced in falling in love.
A good relationship doesn't require you to work hard.
If you can take a long-term view and zoom in on the pattern, you will find that everything we are doing in our relationship now is actually to find someone who is comfortable with us to live a lifetime.
And when you think so, you will know that "licking the dog" will never end well in love, because this humble, tormented and twisted state can easily exhaust a person's ability to love others.
Falling in love is such a trouble, as long as you clean up your image quickly, and your emotional intelligence ** when talking, you can naturally find the person you like, and the same is true for recovery, as long as you change yourself with your heart, let that person see your changes and feel your sincerity, then it is only a matter of time before this person returns to you.
The longer you live together before marriage, the more difficult it is to get married, and the less likely you are to get married.
Research on intimacy has shown that premarital cohabitation not only does not increase the probability of marriage, but on the contrary, it will affect the probability of marriage, which may be the same as prematurely entering the state of blind marriage, which will make each other tired of each other faster and lose hope for marriage due to lack of space and excessive exposure of shortcomings.
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Because they have been together for a long time, they are slowly tired of each other's advantages, and all that is left is disgust. It's easy to break up if you don't particularly like it!
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Because the longer you live with your acquaintance, the more difficult it may be to get married, and the reason for the lawsuit is that the longer you live together, the more you will understand each other, and then you may lose your knowledge because there are various contradictions that cannot be run-in, so it is difficult to get married.
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In fact, cohabitation is also a certain benefit for two people, and they can also recognize whether the other party can really live with themselves for a lifetime. Since two people can live together, they must be planning to get married, and then marriage is a very important thing for a lifetime, and many people will choose to try to marry this lifestyle, in fact, it is also to prove whether the two people are suitable in the future.
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The two must encounter a lot of problems when they live together, so if they continue like this, the two will quarrel over some small things, and because they are often together, there will be a lot of contradictions.
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After living together, there are more and more contradictions between two people, because they need to run in in the process of getting along, and then there is more friction.
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Because after living together, you are closer to the other person's life, and his small problems may be unbearable for you.
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This is because after living together, two people will find each other's shortcomings, so slowly there will be more and more contradictions.
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Because only when two people live together, will the two people really get in touch, and they will find that there will be great differences in personality and living habits, so there will be a lot of contradictions.
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Because if you live together, you will face a lot of problems, and bad habits will be revealed.
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I really didn't understand it before, and since I decided to get married, it really didn't matter if I lived together or not! Later, I realized why people would make such a request, which is extremely reasonable.
I grew up as a left-behind child and rarely lived with my parents, so we didn't know each other very well. In my memory, my dad is a character who is very afraid of his wife. Later, when my parents quarreled and divorced, I didn't think it would be my father's problem at all, and even I felt that my mother must be making trouble unreasonably.
I've always been very prejudiced against my mother, and I know that when I graduated, I stayed at home because my work was not going well. It just so happens that both parents are at homeWe lived together for three months before I realized why my mom had such a big opinion of my dad, it can be said that my dad is really very irresponsible, and he speaks in almost no good tone, often yelling and making people angry. My mom takes care of all the housework in the house, and that's not all, and my dad often brings friends to the house, making a miasma everywhere.
At that time, I understood my mother very well, and it was really painful to live with such a person. You don't go through the trivialities of life together, and you never know what shortcomings you can't live with in this person. Not to mention, you only need to live with this person for three months, and you can basically deduce what kind of person the other person is and whether it is worth it or not.
In my opinion now,It is very necessary to live together before marriage, and this can give you a more comprehensive understanding of thispeople, you can make a decision whether you want to live with him or not, whether it is worth relying on.
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There is a need! If there is no sexuality, you should also feel whether the other party is suitable or not. It's better to talk about marriage for two years.
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This varies from person to person, and marriage is a union of two families. Living together is to get to know each other better, to see if each other's living habits can live together, what kind of state you are in together, I feel that it is still necessary, we have nothing to say when we are in love, and we have been together for a long time after marriage, so what kind of state are we when we have no topic to talk about.
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It depends on the circumstances of living together for a certain period of time before getting married. Generally speaking, before getting married, you must live together for a period of time, so that you can have a good understanding of each other's personalities and temperaments. If you have a tacit understanding with each other, you can basically get married.
If they are incompatible with each other and do not give in to each other, then they cannot get married. So most often, to live together for a period of time, before getting married.
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Isn't this the trial marriage that used to be hotly discussed!! In fact, the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, the advantage is to feel the married life in advance to see if the two can deal with the trivial things and contradictions of family life, and if you feel that it is not suitable, you can have time to regret it. The disadvantage is that it has a bad reputation, especially for girls, and some boys don't mind it
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I don't think it's necessary, because two people love each other and look at me together. I can live a happy life, and I understand the meaning. There is no need for Xiao Ai to shed tears before Lian Wei gets married. If you haven't been there for a long time, if the two of you are not good, sometimes it will be difficult, right?
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It's almost, if you feel good, you can contact more, otherwise it will fade away. If the man doesn't like it, he will definitely bring it up first. If you are satisfied, you still need to contact more and deepen your feelings. Don't miss out.
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Because I feel that this time I am divided, I am afraid of the same result next time.