What to do about the vicious circle of stubborn inferiority?

My friend's problem has been described very thoroughly, "stubbornness, low self-esteem, viciousness, circle" Judging from the words described, the friend has a clear understanding of his inner performance. I just didn't find a way. The ancients often said that knowing mistakes can be changed, not afraid of mistakes, what is afraid is knowing mistakes and not changing, habits are not developed in a day, and of course changes can not be changed at once.

Friends can spend 8 years to cultivate, why can't they work hard and come back for another 8 years to get rid of it?

People in the world often say, "The truth is clear, but you can't do it with perseverance, and you can't do everything quickly, but you can only come step by step." The sack in my heart is filled with troubles and distractions every day, and I don't clean it up, I don't clean it, I don't put it down. How can it be clean over time?

To be honest, what autism and obsessive-compulsive disorder are all invisible shackles that I put on myself. If you can stop letting go of all your troubles and attachments, you will naturally return to your own nature, and you will be pure and at ease!

Of course, this is also a personal biased understanding, whose mind still needs to be solved by themselves, I hope that friends can get rid of troubles as soon as possible and return to their own nature!

Because of low self-esteem, we feel that we don't deserve all good things, and we become more and more lazy, no longer take life seriously, and no longer take good care of ourselves. The consequences of not paying attention to your image, eating a bunch of junk food, not developing hobbies, being out of shape, not exercising, turning red lights on your health, and not taking good care of yourself are to make yourself worse and worse, which will actually lower your self-esteem even more.

This is called a downward spiral, and with each repetition of this cycle, the situation gets worse and worse, and you take care of yourself less and less. Because of this, you will feel less worthless than before.

The best way to get out of this vicious cycle is to take care of yourself. If your room is messy, tidy up your room, change to sheets in your favorite color, and buy some of your favorite flowers to decorate the room; Begin to learn to match clothes and explore your own unique dressing style; Ditch junk food, eat healthy and nutritious, and go for a run twice a week.

If you can change the way you treat yourself, things will get better and better. Once you start to take better care of yourself, you will also face a new problem, and that is resistance from cognitive dissonance, cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling when you have two conflicting thoughts in your head, one part wants you to take care of yourself, and the other part you don't think you deserve to have these, why should I take care of myself, I don't deserve it, I don't have any value.

Start from small things: deal with every little thing seriously, even if it is something like sweeping the floor and washing dishes, as long as you do one thing, you will do it seriously, which is actually the best way to build confidence. Don't underestimate these little things, in fact, big things are made up of small things, which is the quickest way to get out of inferiority.

Don't mind too much about other people's words and actions. Many people's low self-esteem is caused by listening to the words or actions of some outsiders. Actually, you don't have to.

Others may not understand you, if others really say something and make some actions, you can calmly think about yourself, are others talking about your own shortcomings? If yes, set yourself a deadline for change. If not, don't care too much about other people's feelings!

You don't live for someone else.

Dare to face up to your inferiority. This is important, low self-esteem is a person's emotion. People will inevitably feel a little depressed sometimes, or become inferior due to the influence of some things.

But that doesn't mean you're an inferior person. Be good at facing up to your inferiority complex and don't feel that you are very cute. In fact, who has not had low self-esteem.

When a person is faced with a problem that cannot be dealt with for a while, he tends to think that he is absolutely unable to solve the problem, and the situation that arises at this time is inferiority. In other words, when we are in an inferiority complex, we tend to magnify our shortcomings and constantly deny our abilities. Over time, we may fall into a vicious cycle of low self-esteem.

1.A small failure can break our fragile nerves.

Low self-esteem can make our emotions more negative, and even a small failure or rejection can make us struggle to extricate ourselves from the depression. For example, in a meeting, if the leader only frowns slightly, we will wonder if we are not right, whether we are not capable.

In fact, leaders are just frowning habitually when thinking about problems, but because of low self-esteem, we turn our feelings of loss into self-doubt. We thought to ourselves: in order not to disappoint the leader, I will simply not speak, do more wrong, and not do well.

But this will in turn make the leader feel that we are not capable, so our self-doubt is verified: you see, I said that you are not capable, and it is true.

2.Inability to accept compliments from others.

You may wonder if hearing others praise you can boost your self-confidence and alleviate your inferiority complex. In fact, the opposite is true. In the book "Emotional First Aid", the author, Dr., mentions that we are more inclined to believe what we believe.

We are in an inferiority complex and don't believe that we are good enough, so when our partner praises us, we think, "I am so bad, how can she be as good as she says." ”

Even, we can get stressed because of these positive reviews, worrying that if we can't do what they say, we will let them down and end up losing their love. Therefore, in order to protect ourselves, we will subconsciously avoid their praise, and when others feel our indifference, they will naturally stop praising us.

In contrast, we would be more willing to hear a negative evaluation, even if it makes us uncomfortable, but he validates the idea that "I can't do anything".

If you want to get out of the emotion of inferiority, you must first analyze what causes your inferiority:

1. If it is a matter of faith, it is usually psychological.

Find something that will restore your confidence, not too complicated, even if it is a small thing, will make you successful.

If this thing is really not done well, then we will choose another thing to do it to the extreme, everything is difficult at the beginning, simple things are done repeatedly, after a long time, quantitative changes will cause qualitative changes, and we will become confident.

In this way, the low self-esteem will slowly disappear without a trace.

Second, many times it is a matter of image.

Some people have low self-esteem about their appearance, appearance, and conversation, but they don't have the courage to plastic surgery or change, and they can't take such risks and consequences.

This question is tricky because it can be innate. But there are many such success stories around us.

Some people are average-looking, even ugly, but they are talented, confident, emotionally intelligent, and even successful and excellent, and they still fascinate others.

In such a situation, when others talk about him, they tend to ignore these things, thinking that this stinky skin bag is irrelevant.

I think I can try to change my development direction, maybe there will be unexpected surprises.

Third, the last question is the issue of ability.

There will be such a group of people in life, who can't do anything well, slower and more difficult than others. However, this problem is relatively easy, you can do what you can, in fact, everyone has strengths and weaknesses, maybe you will, others will not, you just don't know.

Compulsively build up self-confidence for yourself, and mentally imply that you are the best when you complete something.

Learn to find the shining point in yourself, only if you find your own strengths, you can turn your advantages into the driving force for your growth.

You must have the belief that I can do it, and don't give up in the process of doing it, tell yourself that I can and I deserve my cheer! Then other people's affirmation of themselves should be selectively magnified for themselves, and they can be appropriately rejoicing, come on!

Always give yourself positive psychological cues and believe that you are the best.

Believe that you will do everything well, and be confident.

Take everything seriously, and say to yourself that you are the best in everything you do.

Increase your self-confidence and give yourself more psychological cues.

If it's really serious, be sure to see a psychiatrist, the process is very **, and the way is also very simple and interesting, such as drawing** and ****.

Learn to find your strengths. You can take a look at the practice methods of New Oriental English.

You're just going to be yourself!

I've always had this feeling of inferiority, and every time I have to do something, I start to feel inferior, and I used to walk with my head down, and it takes a long time to overcome, no matter how difficult it is, and people have to live with confidence.

I myself have low self-esteem, and I can't do anything, but I must work hard to find out the cause of my inferiority, and then overcome it.

Communicate with people more, you will find that you don't have to be inferior to others, participate in more group activities, have the courage to show your strengths, and become more confident.

Don't think so much before doing things, the more you think, the easier it is to make mistakes, just rest assured and do it boldly, pretend to be confident, pretend to be confident, and you will become confident at the same time, and at the same time, you should enrich yourself more Everyone has their own advantages.

First of all, there must be a certain reason for your low self-esteem, such as appearance, family conditions, etc., if it is looks, you can simply learn some makeup and the like to make yourself look better, if it is a family reason, then you have to work hard to change the status quo.

Cultivate a little specialty, let yourself recognize that you are not useless, and often express yourself.

We need multiple confident people to communicate together, try to do what we can, and slowly cultivate our self-confidence.

Low self-esteem is also caused by too much self-attention, you have to try not to pay too much attention to your own feelings, to have more contact with others, don't think too much about things, just do it.

First of all, I think improving your own ability is the best way to overcome low self-esteem, if your own ability is strong, it will make you self-confident, and you will become less inferior.

First of all, I can give you an opinion, which I read in the book. Insist on saying to yourself every day, today, no matter what, I will make myself better and better.

Low self-esteem is not confident in yourself, and strive to improve your ability, so that when you get every success, you can say to yourself, I can do it, I am the best. This is autosuggestion.

Try to find those shining points in life, and let your life be full of more brilliance. Read more books to enrich your brain. In fact, everyone will have their own low ebb period, and at this time, it will not work to let yourself blindly sink down.

You can go outside more, see nature, breathe fresh air, relax yourself completely, don't put too much pressure on yourself, this kind of thing, is to change slowly, you must start from your living habits, let yourself slowly build confidence, Henglu let yourself no longer be afraid of those difficulties. It's not a big deal, every failure or individual will happen, work hard, and believe that you can slowly get better. When you have the ability, you won't be afraid of anything anymore.

I hope what I've said helped you a little!

Learned to be friends of the mountain self-suggestion "I'm great! ”

I would say to myself that "the eternal theme is to make yourself better".

If you have the motivation to learn everything in this way, you will really be better and more cautious, and of course you will not feel inferior.

When I was in junior high school, I had to learn to be cheerful and find a chance to start over in a new environment, and I felt that I could ask for a kiss.

Life will not be too complete, and the mentality is correct to the bitter and sweet.

When the moon is full, it is lost, and when the water is full, it overflows. It is common sense that there is always something to lose in the process of gaining. Therefore, in life, in the face of what we have lost, we should be as calm as water, and in the face of what we have gained, we should also maintain a normal heart.

Life is like a play, and everyone is the only director who controls their own life. Only by smiling at life can we have a life realm with a wide range of seas and skies. Life will not be too complete, and the right attitude is bitter and sweet.

Sow a realm, harvest a mentality, sow a mentality, harvest a character, sow a character, harvest a behavior, sow a behavior, harvest a destiny.

Sow a destiny and reap a result.

If you have a positive attitude, you can be happy and you will change your destiny. Optimistic and open-minded people can turn ordinary days into fun, can make heavy life easy and lively, can turn the yin of suffering into sweet and precious, and can make trivial things simple.

Qu Yuan sighed in "Lisao": The road is long, and I will go up and down to seek. When people are on a journey, they will always get a lot of other people's and their own experiences and experiences, and these experiences have brought us some insights and thoughts.

The truth is often simple and clear, but because the mind is blinded by dust, the simple truth becomes complicated, once you figure it out and understand, the journey of life will not be left and right, dazed and overwhelmed. The world is too big, life is too short, if you don't direct yourself, how can you understand the meaning of life?

The meaning of life does not lie in how many rugged roads we have taken, but in how many philosophies we have learned from them. This timeless wisdom will help us to recognize the true life and enjoy the joy of life.

It is human nature to pursue pleasure, but it is also inevitable to experience suffering. If people do not go through setbacks and sufferings, they cannot be strong, mature, transcendent, and reach the advanced realm of life. Remember the ancient adage:

The heavens will descend on the people, and they must first suffer their minds, strain their muscles and bones, and empty their bodies", so that it is possible to achieve: "Looking back silently, that person is in the lamplight"! Therefore, don't be under the illusion that life is always that round.

In the journey of life, it is not terrible to encounter frustration and confusion, as long as the belief in our hearts does not shrink, even if it is miserable, we will not take it seriously.

Luoying withered in late spring, and the next year was brilliant again;

The yellow leaves fall in the autumn wind, and spring is full of life.

This is not a kind of attainment, a kind of detachment, a maturity of life, and a practice of human feelings. "There is no way out of the mountains and rivers, and the willows and flowers are bright and spring." The tribulation is about to pass, and the light is at hand.

People have joys and sorrows, and the moon is cloudy and sunny, and this matter is difficult to complete." The journey of life, suffering and happiness together. Suffering makes people think, suffering makes people mature, suffering makes people strong, and suffering makes people cherish happiness.

Happiness is in life, but we need to discover, to explore, to develop, to create. We have to be our own directors and interpret our own lives well. May happiness walk with us and make ourselves more chic, more transcendental, and happier!