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Not all children who have experienced a lot of setbacks are stronger, and if no one lifts them up after a fall, but just keeps walking on their knees, such children tend to be more vulnerable and cowardly. <>
The more frustrations and sufferings experienced and the more psychological hardships suffered, the stronger the child's ability to withstand blows is relatively speaking. But this is a limited scope, this blow should not be too big, at least it can give the child the ability to recover himself.
For example, if we use a sickle, stone, etc., and destroy part of its bark, it will scab over and become harder. But if we peel off its skin loop, the tree will die. <>
The same is true for children, who become very vulnerable when they are hit one after the other, beyond the limits of the child's ability to digest and absorb the pain.
Grinding should be accumulated little by little, rather than a sudden catastrophe, such as pouring a bucket of dung into the river, the river can purify itself, and it can also increase the nutrients of the river water. But when a lot of pollution enters the river, it can damage the river's ecosystem.
Turn it into a stinking gutter.
For children, the grinding they need is accumulated little by little, and it is to test it slowly, rather than knocking him down again and again. There is nothing wrong with scratching a little skin, everyone can afford it, but if the blow is too big, it will only distort their hearts, and it will seriously deprive children of the ability to obtain the truth, goodness and beauty of this world. In a child's world, there is only suffering, he can't see anything else, and there is no hope in life.
Therefore, we need to pay more attention to the child who has suffered more than ever. Children may look very the outside, but they are actually softer and more fragile on the inside than most people. Taking good care of their hearts is what we should do as independent, strong and perfect people.
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After more setbacks than other children, the character is definitely stronger than others, because children have experienced a lot of setbacks, they will become strong, so it is necessary to educate children about setbacks from an early age.
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This is not necessarily the case, some children will grow up in frustration and become braver, but there are also relatively some children who will feel uncomfortable in frustration and gradually become self-denying.
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Most of the time, after going through this, and then encountering some simple little things, they will feel that it is not a problem at all, they are not afraid of failure, and they will find ways to solve it, but there are also many children who become very fragile and dare not start over, and even a little autistic.
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Rebellious children are a great headache for their parents, because they are disobedient and stubborn, so that no one can get close to them and enter their hearts, and they will encounter many frustrations when they grow up.
After entering the society, you naturally have to abide by the rules of the society, and if you still treat everything and everything according to your own ideas, then there will be problems 100%. For example, when you work in the workplace, you must learn to please the leader, even if the other party has a problem with your character, or deliberately makes things difficult for you, you must bear it silently, otherwise your career may soon come to an end. There is also a need to know how to maintain the sophistication of human relations, before looking for friends to help, you must learn to give gifts, and do not forget to compliment a few words when communicating with colleagues, so that social relationships can be maintained.
But if you look closely, how many of these things are you willing to do? Most of them are forced to choose in desperation.
And the rebellious child has been casual since he was a child, and the only person he is used to is himself, so he will not wronged himself to do something against his heart. In this way, the contradiction will slowly erupt, for example, if you don't please the leader, the other party will think that you can't be a person, and you will definitely find an opportunity to give you small shoes to wear, so it will be difficult to stay in the company for a long time.
Because the personality is too upright, not following the crowd and sticking to their own ideas, then it is naturally difficult to cultivate. Friendship is something that needs to be cultivated slowly through a "common language", and even without you, you need to create this content, and sometimes even make concessions and slippers. For example, everyone else is talking about ****, although you yourself are not interested, but you join in the excitement to pretend to say a few words, so that others' interest in you will slowly rise.
Friends are made in the process. But rebellious people don't grieve themselves to talk about topics they don't interest in, because they are self-centered and have little interest in others. Think about it, if you don't take the initiative anymore, how can others come to be friends with you?
"Deviant" is also a label on people with a rebellious personality, and the typical characteristic is that I do what others don't let me do, and I have to try what others don't dare to try. The consequence of this is obvious, that is, it is easy to embark on the road of breaking the law and committing crimes.
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Every child is the heart of the parents, the child has been protected since childhood, and once it appears, he will not dare to face it, so how should parents deal with it, and how should they teach their children to face setbacks?
1.Focus on yourself and don't care what others think. Children are in a circle and will inevitably be judged by others.
Children don't need to pay too much attention to these different evaluations, don't argue with others, and focus on themselves. Positive evaluations can make children accept and make corrections with an open mind, and positive evaluations will increase children's self-esteem, improve children's self-confidence, and improve their psychological literacy. The child is still young, and too negative comments will hurt the child, and parents should also help the child to face the negative comments and help him how to deal with these negative comments.
2.Cultivate optimism. Studies have found that optimistic people are more likely to succeed, thus making children optimists.
Children are fragile and have no fighting spirit, and a big reason is the fear of failure and the fear of injury. When the child feels frustrated, parents should stay with the child at this time, and give encouragement and reward, and say to the child, "It's okay baby, in fact, you are very good, this failure is nothing". Let your child feel the power of support and be optimistic about failure.
Instead of hitting him, constantly let him try and fail, just criticize him and deny him, which will hit the child's heart and make the child more vulnerable and dare not face failure.
3.Raise your child to accept reality. Parents should let their children accept that they are really themselves, after all, no one is perfect, no child is perfect, every child has their own strengths and weaknesses, every child will be fragile and will fail, these are normal, and it does not mean that the child is inferior to others, and they do not want to face it does not mean failure, but is reflecting on their own bad places.
Let the child accept the reality is to let him realize his own shortcomings, which can be changed in the future, and can improve his confidence in facing failure and make himself stronger through continuous correction.
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Parents should care more about their children, encourage their children, praise their children more, make their children full of self-confidence, cultivate their independence, do not spoil their children, and make their children have a sense of responsibility.
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Parents must tell their children that courage is very good when they face difficulties, and let them overcome difficulties.
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Children should be trained in willpower, so that children have experience in this area, and they should learn to exercise children, set goals for children, and increase children's self-confidence.
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Parents should let their children learn to face failure, have the courage to face failure, and at the same time exercise their children's willpower, when children want to escape, parents should encourage their children, and guide children to face setbacks positively.
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The more frustrations a child suffers in childhood, the weaker his psychological endurance may not be when he grows up, because failure is the mother of successAs long as the parents educate properly, the more setbacks they suffered when they were young, the stronger the strength of the heart to withstand the blows.
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In recent years, we have noticed that more and more children seem to be easily affected by frustration and stress, and will have anxiety, depression and other psychological problems, and even suicide
First, the change in the general environment. In the past, most children lived in a traditional home environment, and parents usually had more time and energy to care for their children. However, family structures are becoming more and more diverse, and parents may not be able to spend more time with their children due to the pressure of work and the fast pace of social life.
This can cause children to feel lonely, helpless, and lost, which can affect their mental health.
The second is the impact of **. Today's troubled children live in the digital age, and they often use a variety of social platforms. While these platforms can help children build social networks and access information, they can also have a negative impact on a child's mental health.
For example, children may be cyberbullied and harassed or feel less perfect and fulfilled than other people's lives.
The third is pressure and competition. In modern society, children face increasing academic pressure and competition. Many parents want their children to excel in academics so that they can get into better schools and have a better future.
This can affect the mental health of children who feel stressed and unable to cope with challenges and failures.
Fourth, changes and uncertainties in the environment. With the rapid development of modern society, the changes and uncertainties of the environment are also increasing. Children may feel insecure, insecure, and stable, which can affect their mental health.
In addition, some uncontrollable events, such as natural disasters, terrorist attacks, and epidemics, may also have an impact on the child's psyche.
Fifth, the child is overprotective. Parents nowadays tend to be overprotective of their children, trying to keep them away from anything that could cause harm. While this protection is sometimes motivated by love and care for the child, the key ruler width is that it may also deprive the child of opportunities to cope with challenges and solve problems.
This can cause children to become unable to adapt in the face of setbacks and difficulties, which in turn can affect their mental health.
Sixth, mental health education. In the past, mental health education may not have been a key focus area for parents and schools. However, now we are increasingly aware of the importance of mental health and psychological issues.
However, there are still many schools and families that do not provide adequate mental health education, which can lead to a lack of understanding of children's emotions and behaviors and their inability to effectively cope with psychological problems.
In short, there are many reasons why children are generally psychologically fragile nowadays, such as changes in the family environment, the impact of social **, academic pressure and competition, changes and uncertainties in the environment, overprotection, and lack of mental health education. Understanding these factors can help us better focus on our children's mental health, provide better support and assistance, and help children better cope with setbacks and stress so that they can grow into healthy, confident and positive individuals.
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Today we are going to talk about how to carry out frustration education? Frustration education is to face difficulties more efficiently, that is, when you encounter setbacks, how to listen to your child's grievances and needs, how to encourage him to regroup, how to give adequate psychological care, and gradually improve his malleability, ability to resist blows and his competitive spirit.
Every time a child encounters setbacks and challenges, it is a good educational opportunity for parents to teach children to deal with setbacks rationally, assist children to recover from setbacks quickly, and shape children's attitude of matching setbacks alone, which is the right frustration education.
1.You don't have to deliberately set setbacks, let your child face them alone and need to be justified when your child copes with setbacks, the key is to teach your child how to solve problems. 2.
Do not do everything to replace the child, do not replace the child's big and small things, to give the child enough time to learn to think and try and make mistakes in the indoor space, parents have a low tolerance mechanism for their children, which is often one of the reasons why many children can not withstand frustration. 3.After the child continues to improve or defeat setbacks, parents can give their children some rewards in moderation, but control the limit, too much material encouragement may make the child struggle for material encouragement.
Frustration education is very important for children, and a better frustration education can hone children's self-control and temper children's ability to resist frustration. However, incorrect frustration education can affect a child's life and cause children to be unable to fill the shadows.
This is a sentence that many parents will say casually when their children are frustrated, especially when the child is young, the building blocks are not very good, the trap is not out, and the shoes are not good. But in that case, it is actually not paying enough attention to the child's frustration, and it can even be said to be "making fun".
The experience of frustration is very subjective, and we should not judge the experience of the other party by our own knowledge of the matter. Words that seem to be comforting are actually disagreeing with and disapproving of the child's frustration.
This kind of response will often make the child more depressed and helpless, "the person closest to him originally felt that this thing was so simple, but he couldn't do it well", the child's confidence will be gradually diluted, and then he will indeed give up his efforts and try, feeling that he is undoubtedly not handling it properly.
Many parents can take "the child is happy, the child is not crying" as the ultimate goal of parenting. Under such a knowledge point, many parents do not see the slightest negativity of their children, and often use stress to discourage their children's negative emotions, give too much unnecessary assistance, and have been unconditionally meeting all the requirements of their children.
This kind of child is not only prone to self-centeredness, but also is not conducive to having good frustration tolerance. This kind of parents completely take care of everything, and create a "vacuum pump immunity natural environment" for their children, and the children have never experienced setbacks when they are children, and they will collapse when they grow up.
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