What are some things that can only be understood after a lot of frustration and pain?

A person's life is not long, but it is only a few decades, even if he lives a little longer, it is only a hundred years. It is not easy to realize the true meaning in a short life, because there are many things that we need to go through a lot of frustration and pain to finally understand. So, what are some of the painful experiences that can give us some insight?

Let's find out.

1. The death of a loved one

Young friends, I am afraid that I have not experienced the great pain caused by the death of a loved one, but when one day you really have to face the departure of your loved ones, you can really feel that the person who loves us deeply has left, and there is no longer a person in the world who treats me as kindly, friendly, and selfless, you will have a powerless sadness in your heart. At this moment, you can understand the meaning of that sentence: "I don't have a father (or mother) anymore!"

The selfless love from our parents once made us extremely happy; But when they pass away for a variety of reasons, you feel a great deal of powerlessness, dull pain and sadness. At this time, you can realize that family affection is so precious, every day you get along is one less day, you must cherish it!

Second, a great success

Everyone aspires to succeed, but success is not something that can be achieved casually, unless you are lucky! Ordinary people in the real world are successful because they are constantly striving for their goals. They never wavered, never gave up, never slackened!

They move forward with determination and pay day after day, and finally have proud results! When we envy successful people, please look back at the hard work and sacrifices they have made. There is no success in vain in the world, only by going through the wind and rain and walking out of the thorns can we embrace the broad road!

For example, a full-time mother I know by the author, after many years of detachment from society, resolutely stepped into the workplace, and finally became a female entrepreneur after several years of hard work.

3. The complexity of human nature

Is human nature evil or good? This is a controversial topic that has remained unchanged for the ages! In any case, human nature is complex, and if we are still in the novice stage, it is best to know more about human nature, so that we can learn how to get along with others.

When we care too much about what others say, we tend to lose ourselves; When we don't know how to react in response to changes in human nature, we tend to be in a passive state. These are all deeply experienced by the author after experiencing many setbacks and pains, and I hope that my friends can pay attention to them, live seriously, and obtain their own glory.

Getting married, having children, at work, emotionally, betrayed, all these things can make you strong and love life.

Learn to protect yourself, be sensible at all times, not be too impulsive, be cautious when you speak, and think about the consequences.

There are emotional matters, job search matters, rejection matters, things after recovery from illness, and family matters.

1. Environmental adaptation.

At the beginning of the college student's life, he stepped into a new environment. While running in at the university, I groped at the same time. University life is relatively independent, but it is full of unknowns, and it is easy to have some adaptation problems.

This is something that needs to be transitioned slowly. For example, food, group activities, the gap between ideals and reality, etc.

2. Learning setbacks.

This refers to setbacks encountered in learning and intellectual activities. For example, the teacher does not understand the content of the lecture, memory loss, and failure in exams. It is difficult for some college students to adjust their learning pace and learning status after entering the university, and it is difficult to adapt to the flexible and changeable teaching methods of university courses, few class hours, large amount of teaching, and flexible teaching methods.

High school efforts have also had little effect, and are the last straw that overwhelms them. As a result, I lost my interest and confidence in learning, became anxious, at a loss, had the idea of breaking the jar and broken, and became bored and tired of learning.

3. Interpersonal frustration.

The sociality of human beings determines the inevitability of communication. Some college students have a wide range of interests and a strong need for interpersonal communication, and they try to understand the world and gain friendship through interpersonal communication.

However, the university is a melting pot, and individuals with different personalities and values will inevitably have discordant "notes" in getting along. Individuals are also less adaptable and tolerant, often manifesting as depressed, depressed and indifferent.

4. Frustration in love.

College students are maturing in their physiology and with the awakening of sexual consciousness, they begin to pay attention to the relationship between the sexes, longing to contact the opposite sex, and yearning for beautiful love. However, due to the constraints of a variety of factors, it often backfires, and it is easy to have unrequited love and broken love.

Many of the serious problems that occur on college campuses are often triggered by love frustrations, such as psychological disorders, mental illnesses, learning disabilities, discipline issues, emotional problems, and even extreme issues such as self-harm.

Suffering can be divided into two categories, one is called my pain, and the other is called the pain of life.

My pain is a conflict between myself and myself, from a lack of recognition, understanding and acceptance of myself.

The Creator gave a pair of eyes, structurally speaking, not for people to see themselves, and the mirror is a great invention.

It is said that "the eyes are the windows of the soul", so our hearts are also looking for the outside in the first place.

We must see enough of the outside world, get tired of it, get tired of it, and see our hearts as broken, so that we can rediscover ourselves, and let our hearts return to our own hearts.

Obedience, hypocrisy, loss, brokenness, conflict, doubt, reinvention, repetition, faith, truth, wisdom, wholeness.

No matter how smart you are, you will go through the course of life that these words point to.

Obedience: Follow the crowd and pursue life with what others have taught us.

Hypocrisy: Wearing a mask, gradually losing oneself.

Loss: Not getting what you want, or getting what you want, but finding out that it wasn't what you wanted.

Brokenness: The result of the accumulation of loss to a certain extent is the low point of life that everyone has to experience.

Conflict: The conflict between oneself and the world, and finally finding that the world is fundamentally different from what one thinks. Conflict with oneself begins to ask "Who am I?" Going to **? ”

Skepticism: self-doubt, all views of society, doubts about the worldview.

Reinvent: Re-understand yourself, re-understand the world, and reinvent your own pursuit.

Repetition: In the process of reshaping, there are constant affirmations and denials. Back and forth. This process is the most painful, and most of the mediocrity is due to the fact that it stops there, and becomes numb from then on.

Belief: Finally find yourself, find a firm direction in life, and no longer doubt.

Returning to Truth: Constantly discovering oneself in the direction of oneself, becoming oneself, and unleashing one's gifts.

Wisdom: On the way to the truth, wisdom is constantly generated.

Wholeness: Accept yourself completely, accept the world in its entirety.

Come here, congratulations, you're going to lose "my pain".

The end point of "my suffering" is the emergence of "tolerance", and the person who gets this word means to accept himself in its entirety, and at the same time to accept the world in its entirety as "me".

Accepting it in its entirety means the disappearance of the "I".

To be tolerant, people will give birth to feelings of gratitude, look outward again with gratitude, and naturally find a very beautiful world, and at the same time find that most people are still in "my pain", which will make people have compassion from the bottom of their hearts, and the compassion they have for life, which is "the pain of life".

The pain of life is the conflict between life and the world, the conflict between life and death, the part of a person's self-suffering sublimation, representing a type of life's pursuit of existence, looking for the meaning of life itself.

The pain of life is more like a mission, it transcends the ego.

The pain that a person endures in this direction will make a person great.

That's how I understand it, pain and strength are the necessary lessons in life. Birth is pain, death is pain, and there are all kinds of physical and heartache between these two ends. The way to go through pain is to go through it and absorb it, and being strong is just the process.

Help you increase the upper limit of pain tolerance again and again. That's why it's all the more important for you to do your best to live your life.

The biggest setbacks and pains I have encountered are not life and death, not failures, those things that are painful but cannot be changed can only be faced strongly. But for the ones that can be avoided, but let you fall into it, or face your pain points, someone deliberately goes under the knife. Pain is amplified by multiplicative coefficients.

And often the people who know your pain points tend to be very trusting people. You will feel doubtful about life, and after a long period of insomnia at night, your mind will be sluggish, and even for a moment, you will have thoughts that you shouldn't have. I feel that being strong can no longer give me enough courage and strength.

I forced myself to feel nature and the power of life. Think back to all the people and things you love and bring yourself back to your senses. I've seen countless chicken soups trying to get stronger to ** myself.

It's good to be able to get through today. Later you find that you can carry it for many days. Gradually, you get used to it, and congratulations on growing stronger again.

So we have to live well, don't complain, cherish the moment, and leave no regrets. It's not easy to come to the world, be kind to yourself and love yourself more.

Or confide in family or friends. If you don't know how to vent yourself, confiding in others is also a good way to do it, and the effect may be better than self-catharsis, and many times a word of encouragement from a family member or friend will increase your confidence and the negative emotions brought about by those setbacks.

Naturally, it will go up in smoke.

The biggest setback doesn't necessarily lead to a rebirth.

The reward may not really be able to hone out how strong your will is, setbacks are setbacks, those who can survive are good fate, and those who can't survive are a hurdle.

The meaning of the biggest setback is to let you, who were once proud and full of thorns, be pressed to the ground and rubbed, make you realize that you are just an ordinary person, and let you begin to know: all this we can harvest today is a fluke.

I gave myself a long break and then adjusted my mentality, let go of all the pressure, cheer myself up, and start again.

I was helpless, but I was in a good state of mind, and I didn't think much about it, I just tried to do my thing, and I read a lot of books and played with friends when I had time.

The type of people who are easy to succeed here are those who have really experienced hardships, they are strong in their hearts, they can deal with all kinds of setbacks correctly, and once the opportunity comes, they can persevere, try all kinds of ways to overcome difficulties, and finally succeed. A person's life is too comfortable, his career is too smooth, and in the face of people and things around him, he is easy to make wrong judgments, unable to distinguish between good and evil, beauty and ugliness, who is a true friend and who is a real enemy, often loses himself in good times, and finally leads to failure.

Going through hardship makes you stronger. Suffering is never agreed, a person with a stable job may experience the sudden closure of a company, experience the hardship of being laid off and unemployed, and having a difficult life; A person who is in the process of starting a business may face the misery of career failure, high debts, and forced to live on the streets; A person who is loyal to love and has been in love for more than ten years may encounter betrayal from the other party and experience the suffering of emotional frustration. Every kind of suffering, only by facing it calmly and surviving it, can we overcome more suffering, and our hearts will become stronger and stronger.

Those who have experienced suffering will have a broader heart. People who have experienced suffering will no longer be careful, will not waste time entangled in meaningless complaints and blame, there is nothing that cannot be thought of, cannot be tolerated, open-minded, suffering will become smaller, and people will have more confidence to overcome suffering. Only through suffering can we understand true happiness.

After experiencing the bitter cold of winter, we can understand the warmth of spring, and after experiencing hardship, we will have a clearer understanding of the essence of things, and will add to the fun of fighting against difficulties and setbacks. The harvest season is the reward of the seed for sweat; The season of success is the reward of happiness for suffering.

The meaning of life is the return of happiness to suffering, and it is the return of success to suffering!