My twelve year old son said what if you study hard and you don t have to play

You can play when you study hard, but if you don't work hard, you can't play freely anymore when you grow up, and you have to work hard every day.

As a parent, I understand your worries and confusion. From my own experience, children often need to have enough autonomy and fun to learn. If it's just to cope with exams or to meet parents' expectations, it's hard for children to feel valued in their studies.

This is one of the reasons why children avoid learning.

I have a few suggestions for this problem. The first is to try to communicate with your child to understand the reasons for his lack of interest in learning. Is it because he finds the school's teaching methods boring and unchallenging, or is it because he has other hobbies that occupy his attention?

These situations may require a concurrence of the non-governmental programme to address them.

Second, you can try to increase your child's motivation to learn through incentives. For example, you can set goals with your child and set a reward system, such as getting playtime after reading a vertical book, or inviting him to participate in an activity that interests him after achieving a certain grade. Such a motivational mechanism can make children feel the joy of learning and a sense of self-identity.

1. Listen to children, parents should learn to control their emotions.

Parents who are impatient and unable to hold their breath will only train their children to become more rebellious "talents" when they are adolescence. Today's family is restless, tomorrow the family is upside down, and situations like this are real in many families. Adjust your mentality, don't be so anxious, listen to your child talk about his own views first, let him feel your respect, and he will be willing to listen to your opinions and guidance.

2. Eliminate vigilance and avoid confrontation with children.

The more parents want to control, the more children want to break free, and always thinking about controlling adolescent children is the biggest mistake in parenting strategies! As the child's self-awareness sprouts and the body develops rapidly, the child feels that I have reached the stage of making my own decisions. If at this time, parents still use the control method they used to guide when they were young, it will inevitably cause disgust to the child, because the child does not feel respect, understanding and love.

3. Establish a friendly relationship with each other.

Parents should try their best to communicate with their children and build a relationship of trust through learning, games and various activities, so that they feel that their parents are their close friends. The slightest deviation can damage the trust that has been built over time, making the child feel that he or she is being treated fairly and respected. In family education, parents should adhere to the principle that one thing is one thing, and never turn over old accounts, which is easier to encourage him to improve.

4. Less nagging and more observation.

Children have more frequent mood swings during puberty. Observing children's emotional changes will also detect children's psychological problems in time, and guide children in time to avoid tragedy. Today's children are only children, from childhood to adulthood, they have been pampered and cared for too much, and their psychological tolerance is very poor, and they can't withstand the test of setbacks.

Therefore, parents must pay more attention to their children and guide them in time.

After children enter puberty, there will be various problems, and parents need to guide their children positively, so that children can feel the respect of their parents for themselves, and let children feel that their parents understand them.

Let the child say his true words, ask the child why he is reluctant to go to school, as long as the child is not depressed, no autism, the child will always be healthy, as long as the child loves learning.

If the child loses interest in learning, the main task is to stimulate the child's desire to learn. Parents can learn more about their children's interests and hobbies. Starting from the child's interests is a good breakthrough to change the child.

The first thing to do is to communicate with your child and understand the real reason why he doesn't want to go to school. Parents should create a good learning environment for their children and set a good example for their children.

If you feel that makes sense, you can.

When I was 12, I also liked to play, and I only wrote about 15 minutes of homework at most, but my grades were not too bad. Usually around 80.

You think now that you can't afford to lose at the starting line, so you don't think it's very useful to give your son cram school. At that time, my mother also gave me a lot of tutoring classes, but I didn't want to listen to them. I just wanted to play, and it was a waste of time at the time, and now I think about it, why did my mom give me cram school at that time, and let me play, isn't it?

I feel that you don't have to put too much pressure on your son, and it's good to study more, but if you force him to learn, I don't think he has the heart to learn.

I think you can do this: let your son have a good time, wait until the evening, and then tell your son: after they have played, they will all read at home carefully, they are all friends who play together, and they can't lose to them.

Or, take your son to a good friend's house and show him how others are learning. You can also let your son stay at a friend's house, so that you may be able to develop good habits.

Move it with affection, know it with reason, and if you don't obey it, you will solve it by force, and you will have to give the stick and the carrot

You can start with something he likes, for example, if he wants a remote control car, you tell him that he must score **8 on this test, otherwise he doesn't want it.

I believe that your son should be able to fight for this goal.

Nowadays, children love to play, and you first have to put down the shelf, don't treat him as a son, but treat him as a friend, and play with him. Then he said to him in a different way that he liked, and if he studied well, he could play more fun things in the future.

To cultivate children's interest in learning, here are some ideas for you:

1. Give play to the role of parents as role models. Words are better than examples. A parent's love of learning is the greatest encouragement.

Children who grow up in an environment with a strong learning atmosphere tend to have a strong interest in learning. Parents and children learn together. Children who have just entered school have poor self-restraint, so parents can accompany them to read for a while, pay more attention to their children's learning, understand their children's homework, and help correct their mistakes in time.

2. Try to improve your child's grades. Improving children's grades is the most important and effective way to cultivate children's interest in learning. Parents should try to improve their children's academic performance, even in a particular subject.

Friends who have used speed reading memory training know that it is very helpful for children's attention, memory, reading ability, thinking, etc., and you can go to the "Elite Special Whole Brain Speed Reading Memory" software practice for detailed learning materials.

3. Start from a child's specialty to stimulate children's interest in learning. Every child has strengths, and parents can take the opportunity to cultivate their interest in learning and perseverance through their children's strengths, strengths and successes, and achieve better results. Take the kids to a science museum or museum.

It can stimulate children's curiosity and desire for knowledge, and enhance children's interest in learning.

4. Parents should praise and encourage their children more, and blame and scold them less. Children have self-esteem, and they are proud when their achievements are recognized. Parents should not let go of every opportunity worthy of praise, when the child has achieved a little achievement, let him feel the joy of success, let him know how happy success is, so he will do the same next time.

This gentle form of praise is easy for children to accept, and children will not lose interest in learning because of a bad grade.

5. Be patient and don't rush for quick success. Parents must be patient when cultivating their children's interest in learning, because the child's mental development is not mature enough and stable enough, so it is more active and playful, so do not be too eager to avoid negative effects.