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It is recommended that women before marriage should understand one thing, it is better not to live with their mother-in-law, and I think that after marriage, they should not live with their mother-in-law. First of all, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are naturally more or less hostile to each other, coupled with the age and generation gap, it is difficult for the two to communicate with equal identities and attitudes. If you live together, there will often be conflicts due to disagreements, and once there are conflicts, it is very easy to lead to disharmonious family relationships.
The whole family will be in an awkward situation because of the conflict between the two. And often the two are not wrong, but because of this sense of zero distance, they don't like each other.
Secondly, there should be only one mistress in a home. As an elder, the mother-in-law is bound to be respected by the whole family, but the daughter-in-law is the real mistress of the family. If you live in your husband's family of origin after marriage.
, that is a very embarrassing thing for the woman. And if the two form a new family after marriage, and then let the mother-in-law also move in together, it will inevitably lead to disagreements on the question of who the hostess of the house is, and once the conflict is intensified, many potential problems will also erupt together.
Moreover, although marriage is like a matter of two families, once they enter marriage, both of them should come out of their original families and work together to create a happy life for two people. Adult life requires a certain amount of independent space, and the presence of a mother-in-law will make the relationship between two people no longer too close. Once you meet an unreasonable mother-in-law or daughter-in-law, it will even make the marriage of the two go to ruin, so the risk of living with your mother-in-law is still very great, after all, even if it is your own biological parents, there will be disagreements and disputes over property.
Today's young people are under more pressure in their lives, and it is understandable to live with their in-laws during special periods such as pregnancy. But more of the time after the two of them married should be independent and beautiful. Living with your mother-in-law can help with housework and take care of the children, but the greater conflicts that come with this often make life completely out of control.
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Because after getting married, the younger couple should have their own life, if they live with the elderly. Like some living habits, they are very incompatible, and they are prone to contradictions together.
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Because mother-in-law is not a mother after all, she will not be as good to you as her daughter, she will definitely point some fingers at you, and the concepts of the two generations are very different, and it is very inconvenient to live together, which will affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and will also affect the relationship between husband and wife.
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Because there is a certain generation gap between my mother-in-law and us, it is easy to have conflicts when the concept of life is not the same.
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Living together can help you with your children, and you should be grateful to her.
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Let your husband speak.
This kind of thing is not easy for a daughter-in-law to talk about.
If your husband agrees with you, let him say it.
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If the mother-in-law is the only one left, then they should live together.
And privacy upstairs and downstairs.
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Each of us hopes to have a happy married life, but after getting married, we will face a realistic choice, that is, whether we want to live with our parents-in-law after marriage. A satisfactory solution to this problem requires a comprehensive analysis on a case-by-case basis. ......Specifically, whether you can accept living with your parents-in-law after marriage depends on the relationship between yourself and your parents-in-law, whether you can adapt to each other's living habits, and whether you can have a relatively independent living space.
1. The relationship between yourself and your parents-in-law is the key to whether you can accept living with them. After getting married, whether you can live with your parents-in-law or not, the key factor is the relationship between yourself and them. ......This question is actually very easy to understand.
Specifically, if you have a harmonious relationship with your parents-in-law, then there is no obstacle to living with them, and you can get a lot of care from them after marriage, which will be extremely beneficial to your happy life after marriage. 2. Whether the living habits can adapt to each other is an important factor in whether you can live with your parents-in-law after marriage. An important factor affecting one's life with one's parents-in-law after marriage is whether each other's living habits can adapt to each other's wisdom.
Because the age gap is very large, there must be a very big difference in the living habits between myself and my parents-in-law. If you don't fit in with each other in this area, it's hard to live together. ......Only when they can adapt to each other's living habits and tolerate each other, can it be possible to live with their parents-in-law after marriage.
3. Whether you can have an independent living space is the decisive factor for whether you can live with your parents-in-law after marriage. Even if you and your parents-in-law have a harmonious relationship and can adapt to each other's living habits, it cannot ensure the harmony and happiness of living together after marriage. ......There is also a decisive factor in this, that is, whether you can have a relatively independent living space, so as to avoid being disturbed by your own humble life, and you can have a life that truly belongs to you.
The ideal state is to live in the same building with your parents-in-law, but they each live in an independent house, so that they can take care of each other and maintain a relatively independent life, which is the most ideal, and you can definitely accept this kind of living with your parents-in-law.
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I would accept to live with my mother-in-law after marriage.
After marriage, you should live with your mother-in-law. After all, it's not easy for your mother-in-law to raise your shirts to a big day. Living together is a way to honor him better.
And living together, living habits, and traditional concepts are all the same. Everyone will have a great time. As the saying goes, if there is an old man in the family, there is a treasure.
There is an old man living together at home, and the hall is really happy.
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As an unmarried woman, you hope to find a husband who loves you, and it is best to have a reasonable in-laws; As a mother-in-law, I hope to find a filial and sensible daughter-in-law, who not only takes good care of her son, but also obeys herself. Neither of these ideas is wrong, of course. However, once the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law make trouble, the husband who is caught in the middle will suffer.
Therefore, many families choose not to take their in-laws to live with them after marriage, but they inevitably appear unfilial, and they are said to have married a daughter-in-law and forgot their mother, how should they choose? Let's take a look at the lessons of the people who have come before, they are very thorough.
1. Look at the age of the mother-in-law.
If you get married early, your mother-in-law is not too old, and some people have become in-laws before they even reach retirement age, and they can take care of their own lives, so there is no need to move in together. In this way, not only can each person maintain the privacy of their own life, but also avoid many conflicts in life.
As long as you take your children back to your in-laws' house for a meal on Sundays and holidays, help them with housework, or travel with the whole family, you can not only enhance the relationship of the family, but also create a good family environment for the next generation, and teach them to know how to be filial to their parents.
Second, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are together, and conflicts are prone to occur.
Don't do moral kidnapping in the name of filial piety, and be sure to take your mother-in-law over to live with you. You must know that no matter how filial the daughter-in-law is and how reasonable the mother-in-law is, the two of them also grew up in different educational backgrounds, and their living habits are definitely different, and even the habits of doing housework are different.
Don't underestimate these details, thousands of miles of embankment destroyed in an anthill, living under one roof, how can there be no quarrels after a long time, how can there be no contradictions? Filial piety or not cannot be judged by whether or not you live with your mother-in-law, and do not breed unnecessary trouble for the sake of other people's opinions.
3. On the issue of children's education.
Now everyone is not in favor of intergenerational education, which is true, of course, their children still have to be educated by husband and wife. The educational philosophy of the two generations is inconsistent, generally parents will be stricter in the education of their children, while the older generation mostly loves their grandchildren and granddaughters, and some parents do not let their children eat and do things that they do not let their children do, but they can be secretly allowed in the gap between the elderly taking care of their children.
In this way, contradictions have arisen, but it is difficult for Qing officials to decide family affairs, and the contradictions are not clear. Another point is that after living together, the mother-in-law will generally take the initiative to apply to take care of the child, even if the two generations agree on the way of educating the child, the heavy work of caring for the child will also tire the mother-in-law, and the good body may also be sick due to overwork, which is simply more than worth the loss.
Young couples have their own life imitation celery, parents should also have their own life, dancing square dance, or going to the university for the elderly, going out with neighbors to chat, playing chess, like to go out can also take advantage of retirement to travel without incident, each living their own wonderful, such a life is healthy and tasteful. Loving children and respecting parents also requires keeping a distance from each other, not violating each other, respecting each other, and living their own wonderful lives.
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If the mother-in-law has nothing to do, or if there is little to do, you can live with you, after all, there will be friction when you live together, and if the mother-in-law has a lot of things, it is recommended not to be together, and it is not good to quarrel every day.
Yes, it's better to go as far as you want.
As soon as I got married, I really respected them, and I bought whatever I bought for my parents, and sometimes I didn't even buy it for my mother, but bought it for my mother-in-law, for example, I bought two gold necklaces for Mother's Day, one for each person. But my mother said, she has it, I didn't want it, I bought it for my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law said put it there, didn't say anything else, there are many examples, don't say it one by one, just talk about the cause of the matter, my husband is a mother-lover complex, for example, I don't do anything as good as my mother, just got married and kept arguing, just because of housework, and no matter what happens in my family, my husband will talk to his mother, big and small. For example, one thing that the two of us discussed, buy a small washing machine, convenient for washing diapers or something, said that it was okay, but when it was time to eat at noon, his mother knew about it, and did not let him buy it, saying that it could not be washed and so on, in fact, he was afraid of spending money, but I want to tell you that my mother-in-law has never given us a penny since we got married, and every time we eat something and other expenses are our own (my mother-in-law has money, not no money, the old couple has a monthly salary of seven or eight thousand, more than us, and our sister-in-law's family eats at his mother's house all year round, Later, in the end, I didn't buy this washing machine, and when I was confined, my sister saw that my mother was tired and bought one. >>>More
For people like him, they should break up.
You ask him to eat more, you eat less, and as a result, you get hungry and buy snacks, and he gets angry again. You said the reason, and he got angry and said that I use the money to buy snacks, and if I use the money to buy snacks to buy fast food, I don't know how many servings to buy, and he also said that you have to eat fast food, and he said that you always waste food. >>>More