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1.Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law One of the reasons for the conflict between is the lifestyle and eating habits.
As my mother-in-law's parents get older, they can no longer be compared with us young people. In terms of stir-frying, we can make it more spicy or flavorful, which is more suitable for our taste. However, due to problems such as digestion or physical health, the elderly do not dare to eat foods that are too spicy or too hard.
If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live under the same roof, it is recommended to consider the feelings of parents and children in terms of diet, and cook appropriately and comprehensively. In this way, some contradictions that occur due to different lifestyles and diets can be resolved. If we always give our parents too hard or spicy dishes to eat, the conflict will naturally occur after a long time.
2.The second reason for the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that there may be some friction because of the children's education, because the elderly love their grandchildren and granddaughters very much, so they are more spoiled, and often meet the children's ideas, such as in terms of snacks, they will support the children to buy snacks to eat. When the daughter-in-law sees it, she will always say that she can't always spoil the children like this, and the contradictions will occur when the ideas and views are different.
Here I suggest that the mother-in-law and elders should not be too spoiled, especially in terms of diet, and they should not eat snacks at any time, and not eating meals is very harmful to the physical growth of children. Don't let pets affect the healthy growth of children. And in terms of educating children, you can't be too spoiled, because children have to grow up, they have to face entering the society to participate in work, etc., and they should exercise their self-reliance more in ordinary times, rather than helping him to complete.
People have an inertia, once they develop bad habits, you are not spoiling them, but harming their self-reliance.
3.Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law due to the ideological point of view, or consumption point of view is different from ours, most of the elderly are more frugal, if we are too extravagant and wasteful, lavish spending, they are not used to seeing it will say a few more words, which is also prone to contradictions. In this case, we should avoid confrontation with them as much as possible and learn to have the left ear.
In and out of the right ear, know how to understand their kindness. After all, the elderly have decades of experience in running a family, and there are still many aspects worth learning from. If you think it's wrong, just listen to it.
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It is better to keep a little distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the so-called distance produces beauty. But many people who are not married may think that they are a generous person, and they treat their boyfriend's mother as their own mother to be filial, and it is impossible to have conflicts with their boyfriend's mother, and they will tolerate everything from his mother. Only after experiencing it do you know that it is really inconvenient for two people to live together, after all, the thinking of the older generation is very different from that of the new generation.
If you live separately, you can avoid a lot of unnecessary trouble. You will no longer care about your mother-in-law's living habits, and your mother-in-law will not count you down at home all day long; Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law don't have to worry about who does more and who does less every day, and they live their lives in the way they like, and they are relaxed. So it's best to live separately if you can.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can't help but enhance their relationship together
1. Support mother-in-law in family decision-making.
Even when the mother-in-law and her husband have an argument. We also want to face our mother-in-law, and after this goes on for a long time, the sense of distance between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will disappear, so we must be like a family with the mother-in-law and join forces to deal with the husband.
2. Chat with your mother-in-law often.
The mother-in-law doesn't want to eat or wear, she just wants to be with her children. Material filial piety is far less than spiritual comfort. Chatting is a good way to enhance communication and affection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Of course, you can't know everything, you can't say everything. Speeches should be measured and conducive to promoting family harmony. Say what should be said, and don't mention a word that shouldn't be said.
3. Be kind to her son.
The son will always be the treasure in the mother-in-law's heart, if you yell at his son, she will immediately have an opinion on you in her heart, even if she doesn't express it, she will be the same guilty, so we must be kind to our husband.
Even if you sometimes send your husband to bring you a fruit, a meal or something, if your mother-in-law is present, it is better to do these things by yourself, and you should care about her son more and love her son, so that your mother-in-law knows that you are very good to her son, and she will definitely be satisfied with you.
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Some people say that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very delicate, and they are not relatives but they are better than relatives. In such a seemingly contradictory relationship, if each other wants to get along peacefully, then both parties should understand this truth. On the one hand, we must be sincere to each other, don't have too harsh requirements for each other, and don't have too much hope for them, after all, the mother-in-law is not the mother-in-law, and the daughter-in-law is not the daughter.
In this way, I adjusted my mentality, and I saw that the words and deeds of the other party would not always be picky, so that I let go of the other party, and I got along well with each other, without some senseless quarrels, and the small family life could be more peaceful and smooth.
During the confinement period of the daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law tried her best not to find fault.
Many daughters-in-law say that the conflict between themselves and their mother-in-law began from confinement, because they were already very fragile during the confinement period, and the mother-in-law not only did not act at this time but also looked for various things.
And those mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law who live together but are still safe and sound, most of them are mothers-in-law who take care of their daughter-in-law wholeheartedly during the confinement period, and when the daughter-in-law has big mood swings, she is also as considerate as possible, and she tries her best to let her daughter-in-law sit in confinement during the confinement period and not leave behind the sequelae. In this way, the daughter-in-law is naturally grateful.
Communicate more, solve things face-to-face, and don't play right and wrong behind your back.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can live together without incident, and there is another reason, that is, both of them know how to communicate more when there is a problem when they get along, and try to solve things face-to-face, rather than everything is good in front of people, but all kinds of complaints and tricks in front of people, especially in front of the husband (son) to sue each other for the black state. It is precisely because of understanding this truth that even if there is a problem with the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they are solved as soon as possible, and more often they get along with each other.
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Hello, happy to answer for you. If you are a career type, it is recommended to be together, and if you are not a career type, you can not be together.
In the case of the choice we have, we should choose according to our own type. If we are career-oriented, of course, it is career-oriented, and most of the family is not so strong in economic strength, of course, we need someone to help us take care of the housework, this is how the elderly together, not only can help us tidy up the housework, more can also help us take care of the children, at this time the elderly at home, as long as we cooperate well, good communication, that is a happy family.
On the contrary, we don't want to focus on our careers, we want to take care of our homes and children better, so we just try not to be with the elderly. It's not that this is the case, we don't need old people anymore, it's like this, because two people are together, it is inevitable that there will be some discord. In this way, there will be a lot of small frictions, and unpleasantness will occur, and the gains will outweigh the losses.
The above is my advice, I hope it will help you.
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It's better to live separately.
Distance can sometimes produce beauty, when you don't know this person and don't have enough contact with this person, in your eyes, the other person is good.
One day, the other person surprises you, and you think that the other person is a good person, although the two of you don't often live together, but you think that the other person is a good person. But if two people live together all day, although the other party has also done a lot for you, once the other party does something wrong, you feel that this person has changed, and you feel that this person is aimed at you, so sometimes keeping a certain distance is a good thing for both parties.
Just like some daughters-in-law around have been living in the city, and when they go home to buy some gifts for their families during the Chinese New Year, the mother-in-law is very happy and feels that the daughter-in-law is particularly filial. Sometimes the mother-in-law lives in the eldest son's house and spends all day with the eldest son's wife. During the Chinese New Year, the second son's wife came back and brought a lot of good things to her mother-in-law, and the mother-in-law felt that the second son's daughter-in-law was better than the eldest son's daughter-in-law.
Therefore, sometimes keeping a certain distance will give others a certain space for imagination, and there are least contradictions when two people do not know each other so well. The more people who take care of the elderly, the more they end up owing. If it is not necessary, it is better for the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law to live separately, and when the mother-in-law needs the help of the daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law should do her filial piety, and when she does not need it, she can be appropriately separated.
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It is not good for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to live together, it is easy to have conflicts, and they must not live together unless they have to.
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Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, I personally think that only China will have it, and it has been instilled by traditional culture since ancient times.
I remember that Dou Wentao of Phoenix Satellite TV said that he also listened to what others said.
Some people ask, it is said that people go to hell when they die, so what is hell like and is there a hell at all?
The man pointed ahead and said, "Isn't this hell!"
The reason why I mention hell is that I think that this kind of marital family with my mother-in-law is like "hell".
Often men who do not take the initiative to stand up and solve problems will never have a good life.
Of course, I don't simply mean that this kind of family is "hell", but I want to tell you that life is a practice, ups and downs (the way of heaven, humanity, animal life, etc. must be experienced again, the world is hell, let people experience all kinds of beauty, suffering, and pain in the world in advance). In this way, people are told that they must do more good deeds, accumulate virtue and do good, and eventually there will be good results, otherwise they will go to hell and suffer all kinds of suffering.
Life is not smooth sailing, everything does not seek perfection, Zeng Shiqiang said: If you have always been smooth, then you have to be careful, God will not be able to stand it, and it will definitely give you a huge blow at some time.
Of course, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will get along very well when they live together, but after all, they are a minority, and their experience may not be able to be replicated, even if their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a good relationship, does it mean that there are no other problems, and there is no perfect thing in the world.
I really hope that everyone can look at the problem from the perspective of the other, put aside their prejudices and stubbornness first, and think more about each other. Get used to listening to each other's opinions and working together to solve problems.
However, if girls meet a family where the husband is a mother-in-law and the mother-in-law is a male mother, you must communicate with your husband in time and teach him more, so that he can grow up as soon as possible and know how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Men mature slowly, and girls need to be beaten and beaten from time to time. When you encounter difficulties, if you sulk every day and don't speak, Ma Bao Nan will be even more confused, and he can't figure out what is wrong with you and what you want.
After a long time, Ma Bao Nan will only find fault with you every day, accusing you of being wrong, and at the same time accusing you, male Bao Ma often habitually adds fuel to the fire, and finally ends up unhappy.
To give you a sincere suggestion, move out and live on your own as soon as possible, just to exercise your independent ability, but also to strengthen your relationship, and to avoid the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is really killing multiple birds with one stone. A person comes to this world empty-handed and walks empty-handed, in the final analysis, everything has to rely on oneself to improve oneself, and no one can threaten me if I am strong, whether it is strong economic ability or psychological strength is very important. This kind of strength must be accumulated through the experience of life, and all the suffering and pain experienced is actually a good thing, as mentioned above, everything goes smoothly and one day you will have a huge blow.
Therefore, calm your mind, not anxious, not humble or arrogant, and treat everyone around you with a loving heart at any time.
The Buddha said, "How others treat me is my cause and effect. How I treat people is my practice) Everyone in the world needs to understand this sentence.
<> Buddha said: People are unawakened Buddhas, and Buddhas are awakened people.
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First of all, it is divided into the following situations, whether your mother-in-law is good at cooking (good at it or not), and whether she has culture (if she has a high school degree or above, she is relatively good at communication). The first choice is to cook, the taste of young and old people is very different, the method of cooking, seasoning, heat and other differences are very large, if your mother-in-law or father-in-law has diabetes, it is to limit the amount of sugar, in this case, the choice of the general elderly is first beneficial to themselves or to the old wife, stewed soup and cold dishes will hardly put sugar, but the taste of sugar is good, young people will like it, these two first in the problem of cooking contradictions come out, and the elderly like to drink porridge, In particular, the elderly will sometimes be relatively simple, and in the long run, young people will not like it and will get tired of eating; In addition, if your mother-in-law has no education or a very low level of education, then you will be very powerless in the future on the issue of children's education, I have sighed countless times that my mother (mother) should be good if there is a little culture, even if you know a few words, you will not hold a vinegar bottle to me to ask which cooking wine (very collapse), under the education "double reduction" policy, more hard parents, rich, time, highly educated parents are really important, But what makes me embarrassed is that I am a master's degree graduate (a highly educated "talent" cultivated by a rural family), my mother is illiterate because the level of looking at the problem is different, resulting in too many differences in the way and skills of language expression, in general, the basic law is that the lower the level of education, the simpler the thinking, the rougher the language, the more blunt the attitude, the smaller the belly... I didn't get married and had children before I only had contact with my parents during the holidays, and I had less contact with my parents every year since I was a graduate student, in fact, I don't know them very well, my impression of my parents is still when they were young and in their forties, it was a time of vitality and energy, and now the parents who let me get in close contact with are already old, more than sixty elderly people, my heart is shocked, not to mention, anyway, living with my parents (help me take care of the children) for more than a year, There are all kinds of sweet, sour, bitter and salty, let's experience it for yourself.
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