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It is the husband's decision to have a boy or a girl. It's not that a woman's stomach is not angry. It's a man.
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Since most of what you wrote above is that you feel very wronged, it means that in your heart you are still more inclined to break up, just because of your relationship, in fact, if your relationship can really stand the test, you don't have to care about this problem, no matter what child you have, he will still love you.
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You're married to him, not his mother.
This is not a question of filial piety, it is already a question of traditional concepts.
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At this time, it is best to talk to your husband and let her husband persuade her mother-in-law. If your husband doesn't help you, then you can choose to divorce. Women have reproductive autonomy, as long as they don't want to give birth, they don't have to give birth.
Some netizens said that he had given birth to two daughters, and his health was very bad after giving birth to two daughters, but in this case, her mother-in-law still forced her to have a boy. What should be done in this case? Here's what I think:
1. At this time, it is best to talk to your husband.
In the face of her mother-in-law forcing herself to have a boy, in fact, as a woman, she should have a good talk with her husband. I can let my husband persuade my mother-in-law and let my mother-in-law stop persecuting herself. If the mother-in-law listens to her husband's advice and does not force herself to have a boy, then the marriage can still be maintained.
2. If your husband doesn't help you, you can choose to divorce.
But sometimes, although it seems that the mother-in-law forces herself to have a boy, in fact, the husband and mother-in-law are also single-minded and want to have another boy for themselves. In this case, if you don't get the support of your husband and have to face their family forcing you to have a boy, as a woman, you can choose to divorce and escape from this disrespectful marriage. Because only in this way can I become more comfortable and free about life.
3. I hope that girls will not have children because of the persecution of others.
Women are independent of reproductive rights, and even after marriage, if a girl does not want to have children, others have no right to interfere with women's reproductive freedom. Therefore, I hope that the majority of women can take back their reproductive autonomy and not choose to have children because of the persecution of others. I hope that all women have children just because they want to have children, not because of other external conditions.
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I think it will be dangerous for you to have a child if you are not in good health, and you already have a child of your own, at this time you should try not to have children, it is your right to have children or not, don't do what you don't want to do because of your mother-in-law's request. You can discuss it with your husband and ask him to persuade your mother-in-law to understand you more and not always be swayed by your mother-in-law.
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Don't listen to your mother-in-law. Now that men and women are equal, some families are still looking forward to having daughters. Some elderly people still have the idea of preference for sons over daughters, and always think that only men can inherit the generation.
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You should communicate with your mother-in-law, let your mother-in-law understand your plan, don't listen to your mother-in-law's opinions, and hope that your mother-in-law can understand you.
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Normal, after all, everyone wants a son, a grandson, and if not, it will be the end.
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This mainly solves three problems, the first book is also the pressure of the second, how to deal with the mother-in-law d3 is also very good.
Let me start by sharing my own experience in this area. We all know that most mothers-in-law want to hold their grandchildren, and grandchildren are boys. However, it is difficult for us to control the gender of our children.
50% of the time is likely to be a boy, and 50% is likely to be a girl, and there is no guarantee that it will be a boy before birth.
In the face of this situation, my experience is that I behave more patriarchally than my mother-in-law.
From time to time, intentionally or unintentionally, I don't like girls. If I was born a girl, I would not like it in my heart. If you are born to be snubbed by your mother, it is also strange to blame the poor people.
If she is born a girl, the child must think that her grandmother loves her a hundred times more than her mother. My mother-in-law used to be a girl, and she would imagine that scene and be somewhat sympathetic. And thinking that the child is more intimate with her than her own mother, what do you think will happen?
In addition, you can pay attention to how to get a boy, there is a book, "Conceive at Your Heart - Giving Birth to a Boy and a Girl by Yourself" can be recommended. Regardless of whether the final result is a boy or a girl, if you have worked hard for this matter, your mother-in-law should not be too embarrassed by you.
The other thing is to relax, whether it is a boy or a girl, it is the fate of the child and the mother, just accept it with peace of mind.
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Giving birth to a boy or a girl is not something that a woman can say, it depends on the man.
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If you don't give birth, talk to them well, in fact, whether you are born or not is your own business, it's all your freedom, just be happy.
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Discuss with my husband not to give birth.
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It's best to let the husband convince them.
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The traditional concept of the elderly is very heavy, and the concept of "passing on the family lineage" is deeply ingrained in the minds of the elderly, who believe that only boys can inherit the family business.
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I think you should have a good talk with your mother-in-law, now that the reform and opening up is the same, boys and girls are the same, and girls are better than boys in many places.
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You can explain to your husband what you really think in your heart, after all, whether to have a boy or a girl is random, and you can't decide for yourself.
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The traditional Chinese idea of preference for sons over daughters has always existed and has been passed down from generation to generation. Therefore, we should first forgive their unscientific thinking. Then we can find a time, sit down and communicate, and tell her that having a boy or a girl is uncontrollable, that this gender depends on the man, that every life has its meaning and deserves to be treated well.
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The mother-in-law always hints that you want to give birth to a boy, in fact, this is not to say that the couple can make their own decisions, but it is just the wishful thinking of the old people, who can only pretend that they don't know and let the situation develop on their own.
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Tell your mother-in-law that you can't give birth to a boy or a girl, it's destined by God, and I hope that my mother-in-law won't say anything like that again.
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If your mother-in-law always hints that you want to have children, you can actually tell her that men and women are equal, and let your husband communicate with her more.
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I have to tell my mother-in-law directly that it is really not up to me to decide to have a boy or a girl, and I hope that my mother-in-law will not always put pressure on herself.
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Tell your mother-in-law that it is really not up to you to decide to have a boy or a girl, and I hope that your mother-in-law will not put too much pressure on herself.
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To understand the mother-in-law, if you can, you can also ask the doctor as much as you can, how can you have a boy.
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You can tell her very directly, "Plant melons and get melons, and plant beans and get beans".
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At this time, I have to let my husband go out, in this case, my husband doesn't take it out, why do you keep it? The husband and wife themselves have to communicate in private first, whether neither of them wants children, or just one party does not want children. Why you don't want to have children, and when to plan when you want to have children.
These are all things that the husband and wife have to discuss in private and reach an agreement. The two of them have to agree to the front first, and then they can better communicate with their in-laws. If two people do not agree on the same opinion, one person may become the target of public criticism and become the target of a group of people.
After the husband and wife reach an agreement, ask the husband to come forward and communicate with the in-laws. It is necessary to pay attention to communication skills, and men must be responsible. Although it may be that neither of them wants children, when communicating with their parents, they must say that they don't want it.
And thenBe clear about your reasons why you don't want children at the moment, and listen to your parents' opinions. Finally, tell the parents when they want to have their children and what they plan for the future. I believe that most parents are still sensible, and they will not keep persecuting when they communicate clearly.
Although this method cannot solve the problem head-on, it can also make your ears stop a little, and it is also a way to delay time. The starting point of the in-laws forcing the birth of children must be for the good of young people, but it may be the wrong method, and it is best not to clash with them head-on.
The most taboo thing is that because of the persecution of the in-laws, the dislike between the husband and wife has changed. Or because of this persecution, the husband and wife quarrel frequently, and it will be terrible!
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You can reason with them, don't have a baby for the sake of having a baby, you should have a baby when you are ready.
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Let's see what your husband's attitude is, and then let your husband have a good talk with his mother, don't let your mother-in-law intervene in your life, and control your reproductive freedom now, and control more things in the future.
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Anyway, sooner or later, I have to give birth, and I have my parents-in-law to bring it, which is also very good. After getting married, it is also a very happy thing to give birth to a grandchild early and be their playmate.
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Discuss rationally with your husband, explain to your parents-in-law whether you want to have a child now, and explain the reason kindly and amicably.
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Personally, I think that if you don't want to have children, you can communicate with your parents-in-law well, I believe they will understand you, and at the same time, you should also pay attention to the tone when communicating, and consider the other party's feelings tactfully.
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Tell your mother-in-law that having a child is not your business alone, and medicine shows that whether you can have a son or not depends mainly on your husband's chromosomes.
In addition to your mother-in-law's attitude, I think your husband's attitude is also very important.
If your husband doesn't want a second child, you can ask your husband directly to talk to your mother-in-law about this so that you won't be embarrassed. Of course, you also have to tell your husband about your attitude so that he can have confidence.
If your husband wants a second child and you don't want to. Then tell him about your concerns and analyze with him the difficulties of having a second child. For example, the timing and financial problems of having children.
Nowadays, raising children is very expensive, in addition to children's food and clothing, the additional education of children is a big deal. If you want a second child, whether you can give him the best life and education is the key.
Or you can explain to your husband that the economic conditions do not meet the standard in your heart, and you will definitely not have a second child.
After uniting with her husband, she went to face her mother-in-law together.
Of course, if your mother-in-law wants you to have a son, then you can clearly tell her that you really can't do anything about the gender of the child.
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I don't think you need to fight with your mother-in-law, anyway, now that the two-child policy has been opened, you can have a second child according to your mother-in-law's wishes, and it is good to have one more child, so that they will have company, and there will be someone to discuss if there is any problem in the future. So you have to think about the good in the best of things, and don't always face it with a rebellious attitude, which will only make your relationship with your mother-in-law stiff.
As for giving birth to a boy or a girl, there is no way to control it, you should make it clear to your mother-in-law that you also want to give birth to a brother boy according to her wishes, but this is not her own decision, only if her son can give himself a boy's chromosome, she can have a boy, or you can't help it, so you can pass on this contradiction to your husband, in case it is not a boy who is born, I believe that your mother-in-law will not blame you.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are more difficult to get along with, sometimes choosing to give in is not necessarily a bad thing, and having an extra child is not a bad thing, why not sell this matter to your mother-in-law as a favor? In the future, she will talk about your goodness.
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Why are you so resistant, if the conditions allow, you will give birth to one!
With the opening of the national two-child policy, those who have the ability to have children can consider having a second child, and the child is the hope of the family and the need of the country.
At present, China's population aging is particularly serious, and the problem of old-age care has become a big problem in reality, and the imbalance in the ratio of men and women is also the reason for encouraging the birth of a second child.
Therefore, in any way, a second child can be born.
Of course, if you just don't want to give birth, you have to do a good job in your mother-in-law's ideological work, tell her the reason why you don't give birth, and strive for her understanding.
In fact, the mother-in-law is still influenced by traditional concepts and thoughts, believing that raising children can prevent old age and pass on the ancestry, and the idea of mother-in-law is not unreasonable in a sense.
For example, if the peasants have a lot of manual labor, if there are no boys, they will be very thin, and the efficiency of labor will be very low, and it is still advantageous to have boys.
In China's traditional thinking, girls generally have to marry into a boy's family, and it is not easy to deal with the problem of the woman's parents providing for the elderly.
Whether to have a second child should respect the common wishes of both husband and wife, and if there are conditions, you can have a second child, which not only solves the problem of providing for the elderly of both husband and wife, but also allows the two children to be a companion child in the future.
But if the family conditions are not good, or the body does not allow it, then you should do a good job of your mother-in-law, correct your mentality, and go with the flow.
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Having a second child is a big deal, and you can't give birth because the old man wants to give birth, but you have to consider whether the family conditions allow it, as well as whether your physical condition can get pregnant smoothly and is conducive to the healthy development of the baby.
But we young people should know that giving birth to a child now, from the beginning of pregnancy to the time he grows up, the cost is really too great, not to mention two children, even if one child can be cultivated into a talent, it is not easy.
Therefore, in the face of being forced to have a second child by the mother-in-law, you should communicate with the mother-in-law, and you can talk to the mother-in-law about the specific difficulties you are facing, such as the conditions at home are not allowed, the child's cost is too large, etc., these should be understood by the elderly.
In addition, it is whether your body allows it, in fact, after the opening of the two-child policy, some people are already older, such as women in their 40s, and it should be said that they are no longer suitable for children.
If the reason for this should also be explained to the elderly, let the elderly know that even if they have a second child, it will cause great damage to the adult's body. This will undoubtedly make the burden on the family even more severe in the future.
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