The bride price is high, and my mother in law calculates, so what should I do? 20

You haven't been married yet, how can your mother-in-law calculate you, since you think your boyfriend is useless, don't get married, just raise your children as parents, the family can take money to help your son marry a daughter-in-law, the family conditions are not good, it is not easy for him to go to college, you have to pay for your parents to get married, do you think it is reasonable, your parents have to give more and you have to borrow from your parents, do you think it is appropriate, you are young and you don't know how to make money. aqui te amo。

First of all, you have a clear understanding of the family, then I think if you have a pimple in your heart, then you should not add it, because after marrying, you will feel more uncomfortable, more conflicts, and eventually divorce, so I think if you think that such a bride price is not satisfied, then I think you can break up with your boyfriend. Because he is not suitable for you, you should find someone who is richer or more well-connected to marry, which is the right choice.

You all know that their family has nothing, and they still need 300,000 yuan, and they also let their parents owe foreign debts, and they destroyed your nine clans in their last life, do you want to harm others so much.

Hello, I'm An Ran, an emotional teacher under Lemon Psychology.

First of all, congratulations, you recognized the attitude of your in-laws in time before marriage, compared to many women who were deceived by their in-laws before marriage, you are really lucky.

Your future mother-in-law actually wants to use pregnancy as a means, which shows that her character is really not very good, and she will do whatever it takes to achieve her goals. With all due respect, your husband may not be good enough to **, because the child is a copy of his parents, even if he didn't show it before marriage, he will slowly show it after marriage.

The bride price represents a kind of respect and recognition from the man to the woman, which is indispensable. Many women who don't want a bride price before marriage do not get the gratitude of their in-laws after marriage, on the contrary, their in-laws also give people a feeling of "getting cheap and selling well".

Therefore, it is advisable for you to withdraw in time and stop continuing to waste time on your family. Best wishes.

It's either a divorce or a good life.

As a woman, to be honest, I think you're excessive. The bride price of 300,000 is indeed a bit high. Although you said that the bride price was taken out, it was also taken home for you as a dowry.

But the question is, your parents-in-law can't come up with the money at all, what do you let them do? What kind of family conditions is your boyfriend, and you have been with him for so long, don't you know it?

If it is said that those parents with good family conditions have jobs and pensions, it is a bit difficult to come up with 300,000 yuan to tell you the truth. What's more, it's their family, do you let them smash pots, sell iron, sell kidneys, and sell organs? Besides, I see what you mean, this 300,000, you like him, and your parents must give it to you.

And when you give it to you, you have to pay it back to their parents.

That is to say, the 300,000 yuan will not be taken out when it is in your hands, as for the debts owed, you expect your parents-in-law to work to pay them off, you say they are selfish, aren't you selfish? You said that your parents-in-law are in their sixties, and you still expect the old man in his sixties to go out to work to pay off his debts?

At the age of 60, what else do you think you can look for? At such an age, shouldn't they be at home every day, who dares to eat and ask them to work, even if someone really asks them to work, how much money can they earn a month at this age? 2000，3000。

Even at this rate of making money, how long will it take for you to make them work to pay off the 300,000? You'll have to do it for at least another ten years, how can you bear it?

Since you haven't registered your marriage yet, then you should think about it carefully, I advise you to find someone who is willing to give you a 300,000 bride price to get married, otherwise there will be a lot of contradictions after marriage.

I don't think the three views are right, the bride price is just a lottery, you have to take the bride head to get rich.

Blind date marriage is generally as follows: the two parties meet, communicate, meet the parents of both parties, and the parents and elders of the two parties meet to agree on the marriage time, specifications, main procedures, etc., such as dowry, dowry, gift money, etc., there is no fixed form, only negotiation. Without dowry and dowry, there is no basis for living, no respect, no diplomacy for the poor.

Without a dowry, the boy's status in the family cannot be revealed, and he will not be respected by his parents-in-law; Without a dowry, she can't show her daughter's identity in her parents' family, and she will inevitably be angry at her in-laws' house.

If I were you, and I still wanted to live together, when I got married, my parents would ask for a dowry, and of course, the dowry would be almost the same as the two families, and lay a good foundation for the two of you, so that you have your own life foundation, and no one can interfere in your life. If you don't want a dowry or a dowry, then your foundation is zero, and you want to live under the wings of your in-laws or your parents, then you have to let your parents and in-laws arrange it, and you will not have a day of self-reliance.

For a couple of newcomers to be self-reliant as the foundation of life. A lot of people don't know what this does. The dowry and dowry paid by both families are basically the same, in order to provide a good foundation for their children.

Newlyweds should use the money for family reproduction, and if they only know how to enjoy or buy something there, it can only be said that it is a little unreasonable.

Dowry, dowry, and gift money are not obligations, but gifts from parents and friends in order to have a foundation for the husband and wife to live together.

Parents have the right to support their children when they raise them, and if their parents pay a dowry or dowry, those who are daughters-in-law should be more filial to their parents.

The dowry, dowry, and gift money need to be determined according to the ability of parents and friends. The dowry is given by the woman's parents to the man's parents, the dowry is given by the man's parents to the woman's parents, and the gift money is a blessing given to the newlyweds by relatives and friends according to their abilities. If the demands are beyond the other's capabilities, then the couple will have limited blessings, in other words, there will be many setbacks in life later in life.

Many people think that their parents, relatives and friends should give them dowry, dowry, and gift money, but if both parents die, will anyone give dowry, dowry, and gift money?

Many parents use dowry, dowry, and gift money as compensation for their original gifts or raising children, who will compensate the parents of that parent? There are three unfilial pieties, and no queen is great; If you don't do it for your offspring, your offspring can't even take care of your own life, so how can you provide for the elderly?

Therefore, starting from this principle, the dowry, dowry and gifts of relatives and friends should be given to the husband and wife by parents and friends, and are part of the joint property of the husband and wife. Parents who are disrespectful to their parents or divorce easily have the right to withdraw the gift. The rites of both parties in the Three Books and Six Rites can be used as evidence.

Are you willing to marry such a mother-in-law?? It's like this before you get married, is there still a stable life if you are really married? If you are already married, you can only have a cold salad, and you want to open something.

To sum up, I think you are really selfish, although you are talking about this money, and you will take it back to your mother-in-law's house in the future, but this money is used by the two of you, and his parents can't get it back, and this debt still needs his parents to work to pay off the debt, and it's more than 60, how do you say it? If it were your parents, would you be willing to do that? Although it is a custom for a woman to ask for a man's dowry, it also depends on personal conditions, if you have money, you should be fine, and if you don't have money, you should be fine, after all, you are a husband and wife, and you will live in the future, why should the man's parents bear it?

If the young man really doesn't have this ability, then he doesn't need to get married.

Cold. Hee, hee-hee! Ah, hahaha.

When it comes to bride price, say to your husband that it costs money to have a child and raise a child, can you get your parents (in-laws) to support it?

You were able to ask for a bride price before because you are not married, and you still have the capital to bargain when you are old.

Now, you're married, pregnant, and about to give birth.

The in-laws said directly, don't give it.

What can you do?

Is it a cheat? Divorced?

If you divorce in anger and have a baby in divorce, can you still find someone at the same level as now?

Besides, your object, your husband, and your child's father, do you support you to ask for a "bride price"?

Perhaps, even your husband doesn't support it.

So, what capital do you have to get back the bride price you owe?

You're already from their old X family.

Is there an IOU? Is there an IOU?

Suppose, the subject, you have tested your husband, and he will not support you.

It's simple, let your parents-in-law, your parents and your in-laws ask for it.

They sing black-faced, and they want their in-laws to keep their promises, and you sing red-faced, oops, the old man is like this, you can't help it, but the bride price will also be used on the child, no, it is indeed a heavy burden to give birth to a child.

Even if it doesn't work, it's your parents who take the blame, not you. Dress up.

Your marriage and family can still be maintained.

Of course, if your mother's family is very rich and you yourself are very capable, even if you are divorced, it is very easy to raise a baby alone, just say it directly, no need to hesitate.

If not, you have to learn the green tea method, you have to take a detour.

Three years ago, I was only twenty-four years old, and on our side, I was already old enough to get married. In order for me to get married early, my parents went around looking for matchmakers to help me talk about matchmaking. I remember very well that in that six months, I went on about five or six blind dates, and finally my parents helped me make the final choice.

According to the practice on our side, the man should give the woman at least about 80,000 to 100,000 yuan before marriage, but there is no clear requirement for the dowry that the woman brings from her mother's family. In order to show their love for me, my mother-in-law directly brought 100,000 yuan as a bride price when they proposed marriage.

After the wedding, my parents took out 80,000 yuan from the 100,000 yuan bride price and handed it over to me. Of course, the in-laws are aware of these things. Originally, I thought that I would enjoy a happy and beautiful married life after getting married, but what I never imagined was that my in-laws' family had been worried about the 80,000 yuan bride price in my hand from the beginning.

I can actually understand that although my in-laws have a large piece of land in the countryside, they don't have much savings. gave me 100,000 yuan in bride price, plus the wedding just bought for us, my in-laws almost used up their savings for many years.

I understand all these situations in my in-law's family, so I have long decided to bear all the expenses of the family. In the second month after I got married, I proposed to go out to work to earn money, and my mother-in-law and husband agreed. Since then, I have been responsible for the expenses of the family.

Since we live in the countryside, our expenses are not very large, and my salary is enough to cover it every month. Only half a year after the marriage, the eldest sister suddenly came to the door, and she asked me to borrow 20,000 yuan on the grounds of buying a second-hand truck. Although I was reluctant, I lent it to her.

Originally, I said that I would pay me back in half a year, but a year has passed, and my eldest sister seems to have forgotten about borrowing me money. It was also from that time that my relatives used a series of tricks against me, and they seemed to have discussed it, and they came to me one by one to borrow money, as little as one or two thousand, and as much as eight thousand.

In the past three years, my mother-in-law's family has borrowed about 50,000 yuan from me. Except for my eldest sister, who paid me back 2,000 yuan a little, the rest of the people didn't pay me back. I couldn't accept it, so I nagged in front of my mother-in-law.

Originally, I hoped that my mother-in-law could say something for me and comfort me, but I didn't expect my mother-in-law to use a bitter trick. She first complained to those relatives in front of me, and then she accused me, saying that I had no love and was not willing to help my relatives who had no money.

My mother-in-law's words completely angered me, and no matter how good my temper is, I can't bear my mother-in-law to mess around like this. I spread out the words immediately, I have the tens of thousands of yuan in the bride price, but now I have been loaned out a lot, I can take out the rest of the money now, I just hope that there will be nothing to do with it in the future.

After saying that, I didn't pay attention to my mother-in-law anymore and went straight to my parents' house. And the other day, I have already written the divorce agreement.

Later, I couldn't bear it anymore, so I had a big fight with my mother-in-law, and gave the bride price money to my mother-in-law for safekeeping, and she didn't take any of it.

My son and I eventually divorced, and I found the only true love of my life, and I had a very good life, while his son is still looking for his true love in the world.

Here's how to prevent your in-laws from worrying about the bride price:

1. Try to receive a bride price before marriage.

It's not that you can't receive a bride price after marriage, but when you make sure the man transfers the money, note that it's a bride price for the woman. Otherwise, the bride price paid after marriage is likely to be recognized as a gift from the man's family to the husband and wife. Therefore, if ordinary people are not clear, try to accept the bride price before marriage.

2. Use a special bank account to receive a bride price.

You can use the old card, but once you have received the bride price, don't put money into the card yourself, and avoid the money you have deposited is also considered a bride price.

3. Before marriage, the woman uses money, and uses the color bend mold to give money.

If there are joint expenses before marriage that require the woman's money, such as eating together, watching movies, or traveling, but the woman needs to pay, the woman should not pay with her own money, but use the bank card of the bride price. The advantage of this is that if you are not married, the man has the right to demand the return of the bride price, but it has been used to support your common life, and the return is not supported.

The meaning of the bride price money

Just the right bride price can play the role of ballast, the two parties will not divorce easily, the man is willing to invest a certain amount of money in the marriage, then it is more optimistic about the long-term benefits: a family of three, a happy life. For the woman, there is also a sense of security.

The bride price is also the start-up capital of a new family, two young people together, if life encounters emergencies, with the bride price of the funds, life can still live.

But the problem now is that the man can't do anything about the high bride price, so he has to not get married; The bride price of the woman's parents is regarded as selling their daughter, and the bride price becomes the fund of the woman's poor family, rather than the start-up capital of the new home of both men and women, and the bride price becomes sour. This bride price often turns a normal marital relationship into a love sale.