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1. Speak directly about the difficulties.
If you really don't want to, or it is inconvenient for your relatives to live for a long time, you can directly talk about your difficulties, so as not to be even more unable to say no when the time comes. Say everything in advance, so that you will not be passive at that time, and you can grasp more initiative.
2. Submit a request for rent.
If you make a request for long-term residence, at this time, from a realistic point of view, you can collect rent, although it is a relative, but collecting rent appropriately will also make relatives understand that their demands are excessive. And when many relatives see you like this, they will naturally understand, maybe they will retreat and no longer ask to live in your house.
3. Inconvenient factors for manufacturing.
If it is really inconvenient for your relatives to live in permanence, you can create some inconvenient factors at this time and let your relatives take the initiative to propose the idea of leaving. For example, if your child makes trouble at night, what are the dogs and kittens afraid of people, and the room is not enough, you can think about it more.
4. Formulate permanent residence requirements.
If you are really embarrassed to refuse your relatives, you should say ugly things in front of you at this time and formulate requirements for long-term residence, so that your relatives will live under these rules and regulations, and you will naturally leave if you are uncomfortable, which is also very convenient, even if your relatives live in regardless of it, if you have requirements, it will not affect yourself too much, which is also the best of both worlds.
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There are many such relatives in real life, that is, they will come to the house from time to time to eat and live, but for the sake of face, there is no way to blow him away, so how can we refuse euphemistically?
1.Euphemistic refusalWhen a relative asks to come and live in the house, the average person feels uncomfortable and wants to refuse. First of all, we can politely refuse, giving some reasonable reasons.
For example, the location of the family is not good, and I am afraid that my relatives will live uncomfortably; or they don't know how to take care of others, and they are afraid that their relatives will be uncomfortable living there; Or if you have children at home, it may disturb the daily life of your relatives, etc. Give such reasonable reasons, and a well-measured, polite relative will generally know what you mean.
2.When relatives still ask to come and live in the house after a polite refusal for objective reasons, we can come up with a killer feature - "objective conditions" to refuse. For example, there is no extra room in the house to live in, or the partner does not agree, the landlord does not agree, etc.
3.Strict refusalIf your relatives still don't understand what you mean after a tactful refusal and citing reasons for objective conditions, you can refuse bluntly and harshly. For example, I'm sorry, I'm not used to living with other people; Or I'm sorry, I don't want you to come to my house, I'll be uncomfortable.
In fact, normal relatives will generally give up after euphemistic refusal and objective conditions, if it reaches the point where you sternly refuse, don't have any more dealings with this relative, which means that this relative does not know how to behave in the world.
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ask questions; Work something out! A clear and decisive refusal does not leave any hope for relatives.
Since you refuse, you have to find a way back for others, rent a house, and pay a rent for a month or two first! Let the relatives live!
If a relative returns the rent to you, your relative is okay, if you don't give it, pull it down!
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Find an excuse to refuse, this is a more tactful way, in fact, I don't want to. But we can't say it too directly, so we have to politely reject it. Otherwise, both yourself and your relatives will suffer, and it will be good for both parties.
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If you don't agree, just refuse, you have to understand that you are not embarrassed, and it must be someone else who is embarrassed.
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It can affect the feelings of relatives.
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The smell of the far is the smell of the near, you know.
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If you want to euphemistically refuse relatives to live in your own home, then you can directly say that it is inconvenient, or there is no room at home, or that there is no time to take care of them, and hope that they will understand more. After all, many people don't like relatives who don't know each other well to live in their own homes. As long as you firmly refuse and don't let go, the tone is better.
If you politely refuse to live in your own house, you can say that it is not early, go back and rest early, it can also be said that there are so many people in the family, it is really impossible to live.
It's more effective to refuse this kind of thing, simple and rude.
Tell your relatives, "I can't do this kind of thing that indirectly separates your husband and wife, and I can't rent it to you how much money you give me." If you really want to move out, it's better to rent an outsider's house, don't embarrass me to be a bad person."
Directly confess the reason If you really have a lot of inconvenient factors, you should find relatives at this time and say directly, if it is a real relative, you should not embarrass yourself, they will automatically choose to leave, and no longer bother you. Although the kinship relationship is relatively special, if you make a request for transgression, it is difficult to make the relationship between you simple, not because of the kinship, you can ask others to do things at will, which is unreasonable, and it is unacceptable to both parties at all, which directly affects the maintenance of the relationship.
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If you don't like this method, you can arrange for them to stay in the hotel, so that it will not affect your normal life. Then you have to find a good reason, the house is full, there is no preparation, or there are other occupancy, inconvenient for people to live. In this way, no one can be offended, and relatives can be refused to come to live in the house.
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I think that even if you are a relative, you can't come to live in the house permanently, because other people's homes always disrupt the normal life of others, if you want to refuse a relative to come to live permanently, find a proper reason, or directly refuse him to come and live permanently.
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In this case, it is generally difficult to refuse directly, so it can be said that the parents are coming recently, or are preparing to have a second or third child, and refuse each other for such reasons.
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Hello, there are several methods to consider:1Euphemism refuses:
You can euphemistically state the reasons for the inconvenience of reception, such as a small home, not enough space, etc. At the same time, you can say that you want to have a good rest or have other things to deal with, and you may not be able to treat your relatives well. 2. Postponement of stay:
It can be said that there are some busy things to deal with at home at present, and it is not possible to receive relatives, but it can be suggested that the appropriate time will be used before coming to the accommodation model. 3. Be honest: If necessary, you can also say that it is not convenient for you to receive relatives.
But be careful, it should be expressed in a polite and far-reaching way. For example, there are some personal matters that need to be dealt with at home recently, and you can't receive relatives, and you hope that the other party understands. In short, if you refuse to quarrel with relatives to live in your home, you must first express it in a polite and respectful manner, and at the same time try to avoid making the other party feel uncomfortable or offended.
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The so-called relatives are people who are indirectly related to you, such as cousins, aunts, etc., who are different from your brothers, sisters, younger brothers, and sisters who are directly related by blood.
It's okay if a relative stays at your house for a few days, but if you want to stay for a long time, it's absolutely fine. After a long time, there will always be bumps and bumps, and there will be nothing to do with relatives, but if there is a conflict in your family and you leave your home, it will completely stiffen the relationship with relatives and cut off contact. There is no good reward for kindness, and it offends others.
So start by simply refusing the request to stay in your home for a long time.
1.If your relatives are kind to you, they have been obligated to lend a helping hand to you when you are most in need of help. When relatives ask you for help, you should also know how to be grateful and repay others, and try to promise them to live in your house for a long time.
2.If a relative gives you no contact for a long time, and suddenly wants to stay in your house for a long time, you can simply find an excuse to refuse his request. There is no need to explain too many reasons.
3.If you are the mistress of the family, a relative of your mother's family, and you don't feel good and refuse directly, you just say that your parents-in-law just want to move in. Such excuses generally do not offend people.
4.If you are the head of the family and are too embarrassed to refuse the request to stay in your house for a long time, you can tell your relatives that your father-in-law and mother-in-law will come over in a few days. With such an excuse, relatives will also be considerate of you.
5.If a relative has a request to stay with you for a long time, it means that he is really in trouble and has no choice but to ask you for help. If you feel that it is not suitable for you to live at home for a long time, you can help him rent a house and pay the first month's rent first. You don't have to worry about the second month's rent.
The above are some of my suggestions for your reference.
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Most people say something useless.
Rejection is an innate trait of everyone, and the same is true for the subject, who is not asking people to teach him how to reject people, but how to face this dilemma.
When he comes to ask questions, he is actually avoiding the decision and the price to bear after making the decision.
Look, his description of the problem is so careful, it shows that he knows the solution, but he just doesn't dare to face it.
After all, it's all too easy to turn down someone.
It's easy to turn down a stranger, but it's especially difficult for a friend, especially a relative.
Because of the rejection of our relatives, we feel that we have hurt the connection with our relatives, we have turned away from our family, and we will experience a sense of guilt, guilt. If the relatives are replaced by parents, this sense of guilt will be even stronger.
On the surface, it seems that he rejects his aunt, but in fact, his mother is also rejected.
It's like a scale, one end of the scale is your own sense of innocence, a sense of belonging, but you have to live with your cousin, endure the reduction of your quality of life, and endure the noise of exam preparation; At the other end of the scale, there is the guilt of betraying my mother and aunt, the guilt, and the freedom of my own life.
We are hovering right and left in the middle of the scales, reluctant to make a decision.
Helplessness, not making a decision, and avoiding a decision is also a decision.
Active and passive always have to choose one, and by asking questions, trying to blame the friends on Zhihu is deceiving yourself.
Everyone is the caster of the self-cage, and so is the subject, only by seeing through this false guilt and innocence can we live more freely.
In other words, freedom, happiness, and so on all have a price, and the main trait of adults is to know that nothing is perfect, and to bear the price of making choices, and to take responsibility for their own choices.
Returning to this question, how to refuse relatives to live in their own homes?
There is only one answer:
If you refuse to allow your cousin to come and live, you have to face your own sense of guilt, and you are ashamed of your mother and aunt, and give up your feelings of innocence.
To accept a cousin to live in is to sacrifice the quality of life and narrow the boundaries of freedom, but the benefit is to feel that you belong to the family.
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I think your bluntness has at least two benefits:
Clause. 1. Avoid deeper harm on both sides.
In my opinion, having relatives living at home for a long time is not a long-term solution.
First, due to your different living habits, you will inevitably have bumps and bumps. After a long time, complaints and contradictions arise.
The second is that in the long run, hatred is likely to grow between you.
I remembered an allusion: a bowl of rice to support a benefactor, a bucket of rice to support an enemy.
What it says is: if you give a bowl of rice to a man who is dying of hunger, he will be grateful for his life-saving grace.
But if you continue to provide for him, one, two, three bowls ......In the end, what is exchanged is not necessarily gratitude, but most likely resentment. Will he resent you for having so much and giving me so little? Or why are you so rich and I so unlucky?
Look, you originally wanted to help each other, but in the end, you became enemies.
Clause. 2. Promote relatives to become independent and self-reliant.
Relatives who want to borrow your home for a long time must be in difficulty. As a relative, if you have the ability, you can help him in other ways. For example, help rent a house, provide some daily necessities, etc.
The most important thing is that not letting relatives live at home can also encourage relatives to work hard. Let him be quick to become self-reliant and not dependent on others. Because there are expenses such as renting a house, he is in debt as soon as he opens his eyes, so he has more motivation to work hard.
So I'm in favor of your outright refusal. It's good for you and for him.
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It must be very inconvenient for relatives to live at home for a long time, and there will definitely be conflicts in the end. At this time, I directly refuse, and then explain it to my relatives, I think it is generally understandable, and if the relatives can't understand, then there is no way. Or you can help look at getting relatives to rent one in the agency.
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In this case, you have to say "no" directly, you have to learn to refuse, this home is yours, and outsiders living in it will definitely affect your normal life, so you must make it clear to them that you can't let them live in. Otherwise, it will not be good to rush out later!
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If you refuse a relative's request to stay at home for a long time, you can refer him to a rented house or a hotel or so on, because it is very inconvenient and troublesome for a relative to live at home.
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If a relative asks to live at home for a long time, such a relative is very selfish and does not care about the feelings of others, and you can simply refuse. With one more person in the family, it is very inconvenient to live. It's okay to stay for a few days, if it's a long stay, it's not acceptable, you can also go and help him book a small hotel.
Why didn't the handsome guy ask Nick anonymously.
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The easiest way is to tell him bluntly, don't introduce me to someone, I am not interested in dating for the time being (I have to be busy with studies or work), I have no time, and at the same time, I have no interest, so that he doesn't have to bother.
Give yourself some time, break the "yes" cycle, use the phrase "I can't help you right now," and consider your options. Consider consideration at your leisure and will be more confident in refusing.
You can tell your son, or invite her to come to the house for a meal, want to meet, etc., it is best to tell your son a few days in advance, so that they can be prepared and not abrupt.
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