After having Erbao, why is Dabao becoming more and more unwell behaved?

After many families have a second child, they will find that Dabao is becoming more and more unwell-behaved. After the family has a second child, it is not that the eldest in the family is not well-behaved, but that the eldest wants to attract the attention of his parents. Because after having a second child, parents focus on the issue of the second child and neglect to care about the boss.

If parents do not notice the emotional changes of their children, it is easy for children to be distorted in their hearts, thinking that parents only love the second child. <>

With a second child, parents who neglect to care about the boss nowadays have a second child, considering that the second child is relatively young, and the focus is on the second child. did not give the boss too much care, even if the boss has grown up, in the heart of the parents also need the care of the parents, parents should also realize that before the family has a second child, the eldest as the only child in the family, at home is also the same. The whole family focuses on the eldest child, which will be difficult for the eldest to accept for a while, the fact that he has a younger brother.

Give more care and understanding After having the second child, the care for the eldest is much less than before, after all, the love of parents cannot be evenly distributed. After having a second child, the focus is on the second child, and there is no time to manage the boss, so that the boss has a gap in his heart. So much so that I want to do bad things to get the attention of my parents, thinking that when there is no second child in the family, the child has done something wrong.

Parents only reprimand their children verbally, and they will not beat their children, and after having a second child, the behavior of parents beating the eldest is also aggravated. <>

The boss wants to arouse the care of his parents, and after having a second child, he also needs to pay special attention to the boss, so that the boss will think that his parents care about him enough. Because after giving birth to a second child, the parents' focus is on the second child, and the age is relatively young. And the eldest in the family has also become a big brother and sister, so they need to help their parents take care of the second child.

But as everyone knows, the parents give all their love to the second child excessively, which will make the boss have a gap in his heart.

Because parents put too much energy on Erbao, Dabao will have a rebellious mentality, so he will not be well-behaved.

For every child, not all Dabao wants to have younger siblings, if they really have a second child, they need more love from their parents when they are young, coaxing them to sleep, breastfeeding or formula milk, etc. When the parents always pay attention to the second child and do not give the boss love, the boss will feel that his parents don't love him. When Dabao does something wrong, it is possible to go against his parents, and the more he doesn't let Dabao do anything, Dabao will have to do it.

Because after having a second child, parents don't care enough about Dabao, so in order to attract the attention of parents, they will become more and more unbehaved.

Because Dabao will feel that his parents care more about Erbao now, they will feel that their parents don't like him anymore, so they will use this way to attract the attention of their parents.

This is because the child wants to get your attention and doesn't want his parents to focus on Erbao.

It's because you don't treat the two children so fairly, and it's very likely that Dabao will feel jealous, so he will behave like this.

In the child's opinion, with younger siblings, the older child will feel out of favor and will therefore do something excessive to get the attention of the parents.

Last night, it was time to "sleep with my mother on Friday and Saturday nights", and the 7-year-old girl came to my house slowly, which was completely different from the previous time when I didn't let me come and had to squeeze here.

I asked her what was going on, and my daughter said, "Mom, I miss grandma a little bit.......""I wondered, why did the little person who used to sleep with me every day suddenly stop sticking to me after I bought a wide bed?

After a lot of coaxing, the little girl secretly said to me: "Mom, I feel that you are very strange, and I think you don't love me anymore." ”

I listened to the instant piercing heart, the little girl who used to say that she loved me the most, has begun to say that she loves "you and grandma, and grandma, father and brother", I don't know that I have changed from the first place in her heart to the "tied first" with others, and it is also the consolation prize she gave me for fear that I would be angry.

In fact, not only my sudden loss and heartbreak, but also many mothers who have just given birth to their second child also have the same experience

From pregnancy or the birth of the second treasure, the big treasure is "pushed" to other people.

I would like to reflect on this. I had a threatened miscarriage after I became pregnant, and I was bedridden for more than two weeks to protect the fetus, and I didn't dare to worry too much about my daughter, and I didn't dare to let the little girl who loved to sleep sleep with me.

In addition, the belly is getting bigger and bigger in the third trimester, and it is inconvenient to sleep with her daughter in her arms, so she sleeps with her grandmother, father or by herself.

After Erbao was born, we moved to a new house, she had a separate room, and it happened that grandma came to help take care of the baby, so she slept with grandma. And I have to take care of the troublesome Xiaobao, and also ask my mother and my mother-in-law to help take care of my daughter and tutor her in her studies. So, over time, I "pushed" my daughter to someone else to take me, and she slowly stopped kissing me.

I unconsciously spend my energy on Erbao every day, ignoring the parent-child interaction with Dabao.

Also, I used to love talking to my daughter about her at school and my work, and how much I loved her. But since I had Erbao, I have spent most of my thoughts and energy on taking care of Erbao, neglecting to talk to my daughter, chat, and play games, ......

After a long time, my daughter and I lacked parent-child interaction, and she naturally felt that she was not close to me, and felt that I didn't love her anymore.

Dabao grew bigger and bigger, slowly became independent, and has passed the period of dependence on his mother.

Another point is that my daughter has just passed her 7th birthday, and I don't feel that I have grown much, but my mind has matured a lot. She slowly became independent, had her own ideas, and had passed the period of dependence on her mother.

This makes me very gratified, and I blame myself, I always feel that Dabao is forced to grow up, which is also a common problem in many second-child families.

Lemon has something to say].

First, in the future, you should spend more time with Dabao, even if it is to talk to her and chat, or say "Mom loves you".

Second, follow through on "sleeping with mom on Friday and Saturday nights" and make the most of this intimate time to repair the relationship.

Third, respect the laws of children's growth and accept children's independence. Treat Dabao as an individual who talks about his grandson independently, and get along like a friend, such as: talking about his heart, writing an interactive letterhead every day, etc.

Introduction: If you have a second child who is low on energy, you should also care about the older child.

If you always put all your thoughts on the second child, so that the child is ignored, the child can also feel it, and it actually has an impact on the child, you have to think about it, if you put all your thoughts on the second child, then what will the first child think. When some children are young, they are actually very jealous and don't want others to take away their exclusive love. If you make delicious food at home, you must let both children eat, you can't think about favoring one person, in this way, the child will feel that the parents are not treating themselves, whether they don't like themselves, if the child is very noisy at home, the parents are always biased towards one person, the child's heart will also be affected to a certain extent, you have to think about what kind of method the child is suitable for, you must be patient to treat your child.

Parents will feel that the two children are too different to be disciplined, and you have to learn to find the right way.

Many people have two children and can't go to a bowl of water, this time you have to think about how you would choose if one child wants to sleep with you and the other child wants to sleep with you? You have to keep your two children's hearts untouched. To make children feel that their parents do not love them, so that children are prone to do some wrong things, parents must learn to consider their children's situation, and slowly guide their children to help their children.

No matter what you do to eat deliciously, let the two children eat more, so that the two children will also be affected a lot, parents must think about the situation of the children. If the child likes to eat when he is young, parents should also give the child more food, and do not vent all their temper on the child, so that the child has no way to accept it.

I think that Dabao and Erbao should have a relationship together, and we should also correctly guide Dabao and his parent Yan Song to care for Erbao together, so that Chazao Sen can participate in this ranks of taking care of children, so that he will not have that feeling of being neglected.

I feel that Chang should care more about Dabao, and when dealing with the two children, there should be an equal attitude, and I should ask more about Dabao's situation.

As a parent, don't be partial, be sure to have a bowl of water flat, and don't put the big treasure to the second treasure, so that the words are in your mouth.

After having Erbao, I don't care about Dabao, what should I do at this time?

This often happens in families with two treasures, and some of Dabao's psychological states manifest themselves as some "regressive" phenomena. For example, he has learned to eat on his own, but suddenly he sits at the table and waits for his mother to feed him. If his mom doesn't feed him, he won't eat.

Or when my mother was feeding her younger siblings, she suddenly took the bottle away and drank it herself. In fact, Dabao has a sense of loss in his heart, and he tries to attract the attention of his parents through this "regression" method, which is, in a fashionable phrase, "seeking comfort". At this time, if his parents don't know his true intentions, but they scold him for being unreasonable and blame him for deliberately making trouble, it will make him even more disappointed and the consequences will be more serious.

So what should parents do in the face of the above situation? Of course, it is wrong to reprimand a child, but blind indulgence is not a long-term solution. At this time, parents may wish to remind him with some humorous words:

Do you want to be a little baby again, crawling all over the ground like your brother? Or comfort him with gentle tones, such as, "What do you need Mommy to do for you?"

When his parents understand Dabao's "regression" and truly understand him from the heart, he will naturally realize his naivety and feel that it is not very comfortable to do so, and will naturally stop those "regressive" behaviors.

In fact, everyone likes freedom, especially children. If you look closely, you will find that when eating, every child actually likes to choose what he likes to eat at will, so that he will feel more comfortable. For him, it is not a pleasant thing to eat only the food fed by his mother and drink only tasteless baby formula.

The reason why Dabao wants to do these things that makes him feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable is to exchange for the attention of his parents through "self-torture", hoping that his parents can care about and love themselves as before. That is, the thing itself does not matter. What really matters is what you've learned, or what you can gain from those things.

That's what children really care about.

The above is all about what to do when you don't care about Dabao after you have two treasures, I hope it will help you!

In such a situation, we must adjust our mentality, and then we should treat the two children equally, do not be negligent, pay attention to the emotional changes of the children, and avoid some bad psychological problems in the children, and then parents should also have a bowl of water to avoid conflicts between children.

You should usually pay more attention to the dynamics of your own treasures, accompany your own treasures, or choose to add your own two treasures to contact with other people in your family and bring your own two treasures.

At this time, you must adjust your mentality, don't have this kind of thought, care more about Dabao, hug Dabao more, and let Dabao feel warm.

There are many families who choose to automatically ignore Dabao after having Erbao, and they have also found that some celebrities are like this. Dabao is a daughter, Erbao is a son, so Zen imitation is coarse, so he will take extra care of his son, which is very incorrect. Since we have given birth to the child, we should treat the child with care.

It was found that there is a very strange phenomenon, the child is young, then the child does everything right. When the child is older, the child should let the child go. This will not only not make the two children very sad, but also make both children become vexatious.

For example, Erbao did something wrong, but we blamed Dabao for not taking good care of Erbao, which can easily lead to the baby becoming unreasonable in the future, and Dabao will become more rebellious. Therefore, it is also suggested that after the two children do things, we should find out the truth of the matter and not favor any child.

It's not that Erbao was born by himself, Dabao was picked up from the trash can, Dabao is older, but they also need the care of their parents. If we say that after Erbao was born, we always put all our energy on Erbao, then it will inevitably make Dabao very sad. We should always think about the two children, both of whom were born by ourselves, and not favor either child.

There are many second-child families who ignore Dabao, which eventually leads to Dabao becoming very rebellious, and Erbao becoming very unreasonable. This is the parent's education method, so it is recommended that everyone should have a bowl of water. At night, if we can't accompany the two children to sleep at the same time, we can let Dabao sleep with He Zhen's father, and Erbao sleep with his mother, in exchange for change, so that both children can feel the care of their parents.