What should I do if my mother in law doesn t speak Mandarin and has to take care of the children

For families of three generations, it is common for many grandparents to help take care of the children together. But for the older generation of people to help take care of children, many things need to be run-in, and many ideas and practices are different, for example, in terms of language, many old people are not very good at speaking Mandarin, not standard, and often speak dialects when helping to take care of children. So, what should I do if my mother-in-law can't speak Mandarin and still has to take care of her children?

Different children develop their language at different speeds, there are some differences, children are born with the ability to recognize different languages, so even when children are learning multiple languages, they can understand the differences between different languages. The dialect spoken by the mother-in-law at home when she helped take care of the children, and the Mandarin spoken by the parents when they took care of the children, the children can automatically identify the difference by themselves, and at the same time, they are in the process of learning.

Parents can communicate more with their children in Mandarin, and they can also watch more Mandarin programs for their children, so that children can learn dialects and Mandarin in the process of growing up, and the children's learning ability.

It is very strong, and children need to learn Mandarin in the future, so parents don't have to worry about the influence of their mother-in-law on their children's dialects.

Don't worry. We post-80s and post-90s generations all speak dialects from a young age. I started learning Mandarin when I entered the school.

Both dialects and Mandarin are spoken. Children have strong language learning skills, and they can grasp two Chinese dialects at the same time, so they don't have to worry too much. As soon as children enter school, they will soon be able to grasp Mandarin.

If the wife is at home full-time with the children, and the husband works alone, resulting in too much pressure at home, you must communicate well with your mother-in-law. At this time, let the husband say it, because the mother-in-law will feel sorry for her son, so even if the mother-in-law is no longer willing to help take care of the child, there is no way. Be sure to talk to your husband and tell him that the children belong to two people, so the obligations are equal.

In this way, the husband will not feel that taking care of the children is the wife's job alone, and will also ask the mother-in-law to help.

The mother-in-law said that if you don't bring a child, you can't do anything as a daughter-in-law, but this will make the daughter-in-law sad and the big family will not be so harmonious and warm. As the saying goes: ten years to see the mother-in-law, ten years to see the daughter-in-law.

That is to say, when you need your mother-in-law, if your mother-in-law does not help you, then when your mother-in-law is old, you will not serve your mother-in-law well. Therefore, when you meet a mother-in-law who doesn't give you children, you can only work hard yourself, or hire a nanny, and I believe that you will slowly get through that difficult time.

Let the husband communicate with his mother, and if it doesn't work, let the husband quit his job to take care of the children at home, and make money while taking care of the children.

Bring your own! I think you have to be prepared to take care of the baby since you are going to give birth, otherwise why would you give birth to him. And my mother-in-law has been tired for most of her life, and it is rare to be free, so she should really rest, and she really has no obligation to help you bring it.

You should take care of your own children and not go out to work, and if your husband agrees, then you should do it.

First, you may be faced with having your mother-in-law act as the primary caregiver for your child, but you don't want to do that. In this case, you need to express your thoughts clearly while respecting your mother-in-law's feelings. You can name your reasons and reasons, such as preferring your child to grow and learn at home rather than in your mother-in-law's environment, or if you want to have a more intimate relationship with your child.

You can then find other solutions, such as hiring other relatives or professional caregivers to take care of the child.

In addition, some people worry that expressing their thoughts will cause family conflicts and tensions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In this case, you can choose to express your thoughts gently, such as some points about your child's education and growth. You can try to have a constructive discussion with your mother-in-law with the help of a professional and in a calm and sane state.

Finally, you can communicate with your mother-in-law and look for a solution that is acceptable to both parties.

In short, it is not easy to express your thoughts, but when it comes to the care and development of your child, you need to make the right choice for your child's exciting future. With proper communication and discussion with the family, you can find the best solution to ensure that your child is well protected and cared for. <>

Since we have chosen to be with our husband, we must learn to accept his mother, which cannot be changed. First of all, we should thank her mother, after all, her mother gave birth to him and raised him for so many years. In the end, it is not easy to hand it over to you, and you have to learn to be grateful.

If we want to be for our husband, we also have to be tolerant of his mother, after all, different generations treat children differently. Everyone is not perfect, and there will be their own shortcomings, including your own shortcomings. Although some people can't say it, but she is kind in her heart, let's not just look at the outside.

We can learn to accept it, and you will find that it is not difficult to get in touch with her.

If you still can't stand it, don't complain to your husband, it's easy to cause family conflicts, it's his mother after all. You can not live with them, but the filial piety you should have should be done, you can go to see it once in a while, not every day together, for the occasional forbearance of your husband, I believe it will not be difficult to do.

There is no way to meet such a mother-in-law, if two people get along for a long time, you, as a daughter-in-law, can only let go of your own mentality to accept her way of speaking. Because the mother-in-law's expression is already a habit, it is difficult for you to change her. Since you can't change her, the only way is to change your own attitude towards her.

My cousin's mother-in-law is not very good at talking, and the sentences she speaks are more unacceptable, some of which are very uncomfortable to listen to, and hurt and choke people. It's also very direct and doesn't consider the other party's thoughts at all, so my cousin often says in front of us that her mother-in-law's emotional intelligence is too low, and she doesn't know how to communicate with others at all, and she doesn't have a good sense of proportion when she speaks, which makes people feel very uncomfortable to listen to.

She usually avoids communicating with her mother-in-law when she gets along with her. When she had a conflict with her mother-in-law, she would come to us to talk about her inner troubles, and sometimes she would talk to her husband.

It's better to live separately, or there will be more and more conflicts between you.

In this case, it is best to ask your husband to communicate with her mother-in-law, after all, they are mother and son, and they can still say something directly.

When your mother-in-law is very speechless in front of you, you must not be angry or contradict her, after all, she is your husband's real mother, and you should respect her. When you encounter this kind of thing, you'd better tell your husband and let him find a way to communicate with his own mother, there are some things that maybe you said that your mother-in-law would be angry, and your husband said it, but nothing happened. This will not cause conflicts between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

It's really helpless. If you are not your own mother, you can't name it directly, so you can only endure it and talk to your friends.

I'm most afraid that it's not a kind person who deliberately says something hurtful, what girl is the best, why did you want to have a son in the first place, I can't count on it at all, and my daughter-in-law can't count on it, why if my son doesn't find how happy you are now, there are teachers and banks on blind dates, hehe, I have a job, I'm also a regular worker in a bank, I won't resign if it's not for marrying far away? Why did you marry us because you thought we were rich because of our family's money? After I met my husband, I gave him money, he was only 300 yuan a month in the army, what money did I want from your family?

You know very well how poor your family is, of course, I didn't say the last sentence, there are too many similarities, I was really afraid of them, so I cut off contact.

I'm not afraid of not being able to speak, there is a kind of person who is born with a straight intestine and can't turn around if he has anything to say. People like to listen to good things, but the words of such people are easy to sound harsh.

If we know that our mother-in-law is such a temperamental person, we laugh at what she says, there is no need to take it to heart, such a person has no heart.

It's easy to get along with such a mother-in-law, and whatever she says will be put on the bright side. Although the words spoken are not good, such a person is easier to treat people with sincerity, and if you treat her well, she will be doubly good to you.

always feels like the daughter-in-law has robbed her son, in the heart of such a mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law is always an outsider.

When you meet such a mother-in-law, you must stay away, no matter how good you are to her, you can't exchange a word from his son.

Respect for parents-in-law, respect for father-in-law and mother-in-law, they are elders after all, they have been like this all their lives, they are OK as long as they are happy. They are 0k as long as they do not interfere in internal affairs. Be someone else's daughter-in-law, all year round, you must see them during the New Year, no regrets...

It's better not to be able to speak than to make a knife behind your back, as long as you have a good heart.

So I think you should be glad that someone who can't speak has a straight personality and a good heart, so she should be very good to you, so what does it matter if she can't speak well and obediently! Some mothers-in-law will be obedient and make their daughter-in-law very happy, but they don't care about anything, everything depends on the daughter-in-law herself! So it's better to say that the mother-in-law who can't speak, at least she is honest and doesn't have so many fancy intestines!

He can't speak, just don't be like him, so he won't make you angry! After all, you and him are a family, if you keep making trouble because of this, then your family will not be happy! So you just let her order, and then it'll be fine!

Originally, he didn't mean it, he was just that kind of person, what to say, so you don't just have to take it to heart!

If you can't speak, don't you know how to do things?

My mother-in-law has a bad heart and loves to stir up trouble.

I'm not afraid if I can't speak, I'm afraid that doing things the same way as talking

My mother-in-law also can't speak, and when she speaks, she won't answer if she can.

I'm not afraid that I won't be able to speak, I'm afraid that I won't be able to speak in front of you, and I'll put on small shoes for you behind my back.

It doesn't matter if you can't speak, I'm afraid that I will make you stumbling behind my back, and my husband will make you nonsense in front of you.

I'm not afraid to speak straight, and after a long time, I can understand and tolerate, but I'm afraid that my heart is not good.

Inclusion, and inclusion. You don't have to worry about your own affairs, you have to be forgiving and forgiving, and the peace of your family is better than anything.

In the face of such an elder, I believe that many novice mothers will also be very broken, originally wanted to have someone to teach themselves to take care of the baby, but I didn't expect that the person I was counting on was not as good as myself, not to mention no experience, and now there is no new parenting knowledge, so I can only rely on myself to slowly explore.

However, there are many benefits to such a situation.

First of all, taking a baby is originally a matter of being a parent themselves, although it would be better to have a very experienced old man next to him to guide him, but we should not require the old man to be able to take the baby, and he must help himself with the baby.

We have the basic ability to learn, although we may not have so much experience, but the experience is also accumulated in the process of bringing the baby, no one is born with experience, so Bao Ma's own mentality must first be corrected.

Secondly, if there is no one to rely on, the mother herself will learn more carefully about how to take care of the baby. I know a mother, every day with the mother-in-law with the baby, at the beginning was often said by the mother-in-law that this is not done right, that is not right, after a long time, the mother herself is not so concerned, anyway, someone "supervises" their own mistakes.

Again, the mother-in-law or mother will not take the baby, and there will be fewer conflicts at home. After all, empiricism is sometimes synonymous with "not keeping pace with the times", and the collision of new and old parenting concepts will make more contradictions in the family.

In fact, whether it is an experienced old man or an inexperienced old man, there are both good and bad sides for Bao Ma.

Those who have experience with babies can make less mistakes and let the baby be less sick, but two people with babies should pay attention to the ways and means of communication; The elderly who have no experience with babies may not be able to help when their mothers need them, but they also leave more space for their mothers to take their babies.

1.Bring your own.

2.Find a housekeeping service.

3.Ask your parents to help bring it.

4.Let your husband figure it out.

5.Get a babysitter.

It is also okay for the mother-in-law to take the baby to speak in dialects, because in this way the child can learn one more language, which is also beneficial to the child's brain development, and the child can enhance the relationship between the mother-in-law and the grandson in the process of learning the dialect with the mother-in-law.

It is inevitable that the elderly will have some dialects or some spoken words with their children, since you let him bring these things, it will be unavoidable, and then you may say that it will take a certain amount of time to move.