Why do so many couples choose to be in harmony and not divorce?

Some couples would rather make do with it for the rest of their lives than divorce for the following reasons:

Clause. 1. Give your child a complete family.

There are too many couples in society who will not divorce even if they have no feelings, they just want to give their children a complete family. They would rather endure their own inner pain than take on their own responsibilities and obligations. They know that the child is innocent, so they will sacrifice all their happiness for the sake of the child, they don't want the child's heart to be traumatized, they don't want the child to feel that they are unhappy people, and the child is the only bond between them.

Clause. 2. Trouble in the distribution of property.

If the couple divorces because of emotional discord, there will be many disagreements over the distribution of property, it is not easy to reach a consensus, and there will be many disputes about the house and savings, as well as the custody of the children. Therefore, in the special case of no extramarital affair and domestic violence, most couples will choose to make do, even if they get along like strangers, they will willingly maintain the status quo and not get into the horns.

Clause. 3. I don't want both parents to worry about it.

They have made do not only for the sake of the children, but also for both parents, they don't want their parents to feel ashamed, and they don't want their parents to worry about them. Their parents are also older, they can't bear all kinds of blows in their hearts, they don't want to make trouble for their elderly parents, and they don't have bad habits such as extramarital affairs, domestic violence and gambling, just because the husband and wife are estranged, so they will not easily give up and run their own marriage and family for many years.

Clause. Fourth, remarry and hide each other's hearts.

They know that if they want to remarry after divorce, it may not be as good as the current marriage, most of the second-married couples hide their hearts from each other, and many people say that second-married couples are like thieves and have no heart. Second-married couples have a hard time getting along with each other's children and their parents, all of which they don't risk looking for pain on their own.

In short, the benefits they have made do with are relatively better than divorce, and the children and the elderly will feel happy.

Hello, I'm glad to answer for you.

Most of the time, it's because they're used to each other, and there's also the point that the cost of leaving is too high. Therefore, even if two people choose to be compatible, they will not divorce.

There is a sense that it will be over.

But you say that there is never friction between intimate relationships, which is basically impossible. Conflict is a catalyst for the growth of a couple's relationship, and intimate lovers either promote or erode each other's love and respect.

Common patterns that accompany conflict: demands vs backoff.

Most of the time it is one party demanding, constantly criticizing, nagging, making demands.

On the other hand, avoid head-on contact, retreat, and cold treatment.

This model is certainly not advisable in resolving conflicts. Influenced by the negative emotions of the wither, the demander will be more insistent on resolving the conflict. Witherers are more resistant and reticent under pressure.

This unbalanced approach can lead to neglect and misunderstanding between each other, which can damage the intimacy between couples over time.

In most parts of the world, the woman is in the position of the requester and the man is in the position of the withsider.

He probably didn't react.

There are inherently individual differences between men and women, and boys are generally more alienated than girls. The love that girls feel is stronger and more changeable, and their thoughts about love are more delicate and sensitive. This caused the boy to react before the girl was already furious.

The girl's negative emotions decreased slightly, and the boy felt that he was better.

Maybe it's not that he doesn't want to solve it, it's that he doesn't know how to solve it at all.

I once went out and met a little boy.

His mother asked him to greet the adults before leaving the table, and the child waved his hand, and the mother stepped forward to ask why he didn't say something auspicious to the family. The child said, "I don't know what to say, you haven't taught me no." ”

If you feel like playing the harp to the cow when resolving conflict issues. Then I suggest that you try to teach each other.

At this point, there must be a negative vote, "Why should we educate", because you found the problem first. And there is a motivation to take the initiative to solve it. )

From this we can learn to act in a proactive and constructive way. It may be more effective to improve your own behaviour and thus increase intimacy through discussions with your partner.

I hope you find my answers helpful.

There are several reasons for this:

First, the reason for not being separated is that, visible to the naked eye, the quality of life after separation will be significantly reduced.

This is more common in some couples who are both dependent on each other. Especially after giving birth to a child, if you get divorced, the income level of the whole family will drop, and even the matter of taking care of the child will fall on one person's head.

When I was consulted before, I met a lot of people who said that they couldn't bear it and wanted a divorce. Every time, he swore to me that he couldn't bear it anymore and was about to get a divorce. But after a week, the divorce was never mentioned.

Divorce, on the one hand, is because of venting emotions casually, and on the other hand, after really reaching this point, I will think about my quality of life. Although there is no spiritual suffering, we also have to face the hardships of life.

There is no specific male or female reference here.

And some couples who are financially independent of each other don't care about this. I have a client who earns more than a million a year and has invested a lot in her married life, and in terms of sunk costs, she should not be able to live without.

But she is looking forward to leaving, because her income level determines that she doesn't have to think about her married life when she divorces. There won't be much of a decline, and they don't have the slightest worry that they won't find anyone else after the divorce.

Second, marriage can sometimes be a comfort zone, even if it's uncomfortable.

One of my visitors once said to me that left a deep impression on me: "Compared to the complex society I have to face, the discomfort of marriage is not so terrible." ”

I have some friends who complain every day in the circle of friends that their work is not good and they are not happy. If you tell him to change jobs, he says wait and see. I've been complaining for a few years, and it's still the same.

This job he hates is his comfort zone, even if he is not comfortable in it, but the thought of the uncertainty after changing jobs makes him lose his courage.

That's not all it takes to work, let alone a marriage between two families.

In addition, in society, the label of divorce is not friendly, and the overall impression is negative. When you hear that you are divorced, you will feel that there is something wrong with you, and you will not think about whether you are a victim at all.

Third, divorce is really troublesome, and this trouble refers to objective trouble.

A friend from a law firm told me that there are many people who come to me for divorce counseling, but very few people end up making a deal.

Because after listening to the lawyer's analysis of the issue of property division, the question of who the children are with, and how to distinguish the property before and after marriage, I retreated, because it was really too complicated and troublesome.

Many people are unhappy and impulsively say that I can't help it and want a divorce. In this case, if both parties can peacefully negotiate a divorce, at least half of their lives have been lost. But in reality, it is often more unnegotiable, after all, no one wants to give it to others.

For those who can't negotiate, after consulting a lawyer, they find that it is easier to settle for these complicated property division issues.

Fourth, because it does not mean that as long as you are divorced, you have to get divorced.

When I was in high school. <>

With the development of the times, modern people pay more and more attention to their own feelings, if they feel that two people are not suitable to live together, most of them will choose to divorce, so most of the people who still maintain their marriage were born in the previous era when their thinking was still relatively conservative.

I think the main reason for this phenomenon is that I care a lot about the opinions of the people around me.

I am a post-80s generation, and when I was a child, if I heard that someone's child's parents were divorced, it would become a topic of conversation in the neighborhood for half a year.

Adults will gather together in their leisure time, deliberately keep their voices low, and in response to this question, you will gather the information that they occasionally see or hear from the family; When he sees the person passing by, he will stop talking and look at the other party with strange eyes, as if he has made a big mistake; Even the children of this family will be discussed by everyone at school, suffering multiple blows from all sides, casting layers of shadows on the young mind.

Therefore, in order to avoid becoming a peculiar family in everyone's eyes, couples who look like they are separated would rather grieve themselves and maintain a superficial harmony.

In a divorced marriage, if both husband and wife already have children, they should work hard to save the relationship between husband and wife and give the children a complete family for the sake of the children. If you don't have children, it's not necessary to maintain it, it's better to leave as soon as possible and stop the loss in time to find someone more suitable for you.

For children should be insisted

Love is a matter of two people, marriage is a matter of two families, and after having children, marriage becomes a stupid thing for three families. Parents who brought their children into this world without their consent have the responsibility and obligation to give their children a complete and happy childhood. If it is not to the point of last resort, we should all strive to ease the relationship between husband and wife, manage the marriage seriously, let the child grow up in a complete family as much as possible, and give the child a happy childhood.

Maybe when we are serious about managing our marriage, everything will go in the direction we want.

If you don't have children, listen to your heart

Without children, you only have to be responsible for yourself in this marriage. If you feel that this marriage has been draining your feelings and wasting your time, it is good for both parties to stop losses in time. Although marriage is a lifelong event, it has reached the point where it looks like a god, and neither party can get any emotional value from this marriage.

Barely being together is nothing more than a waste of time. At this time, it is better to let go of the other party, and let go of yourself, and have the courage to give up a marriage that is not suitable for you, so that you can meet a more suitable one.

Life is in a hurry, don't be wronged

If this marriage is on the verge of breaking, and it is tortured to be reluctant to be together, if you have children, you must also divorce. First, such a marriage will only have a negative impact on the children, and secondly, people have only more than 30,000 days in this life, and the best years are only a few years, so we must learn to love ourselves and not consume our time on meaningless things. When the lead finds that a boring relationship is not suitable for him, he must make a parting and move forward bravely, so that it is possible to make another village.

It should not be insisted on. Because of the persistence of such a round selling calendar, sooner or later it will consume the patience of one of them. This is very obvious. This is a kind of psychological torture for anyone.

You shouldn't insist on it, if you continue to persevere, you will make yourself very sad in life, and you won't feel the joy of love.

Don't insist on it, just in the current year, Li Feng is light, and there is no reason to talk about marriage happiness, if you are not happy, you can get together as soon as possible, and do not delay the pursuit of your own happiness.

Believe that a marriage that looks like a god should not be maintained for the sake of children. Because at this time, the husband and wife have no feelings, and continuing to live together will produce a lot of contradictions, which is very bad for the growth and development of children. At this time, couples can choose to divorce, so that they can find new happiness for each other and let their children get more love.

We must know that married life and love life are not the same, love life is very sweet, but married life is relatively dull and boring, and there are more things in married life. For example, after you get married, someone will give birth to you and let you have children. After giving birth to a child, your body and mind will be on the child, and you may not feel the love of your husband, and it is possible to make this marriage more detached.

Although this marriage is still in progress, there is no love, and both parties have a certain sense of boredom with each other, so you can choose to divorce when you are teasing this time, so that you can find more happiness and let your children feel more love. Because you no longer have love, if you continue to live, there will be more conflicts, which is also very bad for the growth of the child, and may make the child disgusted with marriage.

If you don't let go, both parties will be troubled by this marriage, and both parties will be very unhappy, and they will not be able to find happiness at all. Therefore, when the married life is detached, you can choose to let go appropriately, so that you can let each other find your own happiness, and also let the children feel the warmth of the family, instead of living in an indifferent family. But if the woman doesn't want to divorce, she can also have an in-depth conversation with the man, so that the marriage can be saved.