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Because gathering less and leaving more is only a superficial phenomenon, and its essence is the lack of effective communication, so I think that gathering less and leaving more is not the real reason why the marriage cannot go on.
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Less gathering, more separation, and lack of communication will lead to a marriage that cannot go on. With no one to talk to, no communication, the relationship will become weaker and weaker, and the idea of divorce will grow wildly.
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I think this is indeed the case, gathering less and leaving more will lead to a weakening of the relationship between the two parties, and it will also make the other party change their minds, and the marriage will not go anywhere.
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This is indeed the case, because gathering less and leaving more is not conducive to the development of feelings.
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I have counseled a large number of long-distance marriages, and through this case, we need to know how destructive long-distance marriages really are. If you don't consider the destructive power of long-distance marriage, you will stick to long-distance marriage, and you don't know how to manage long-distance marriage.
First, there is no way to meet physical needs in a timely manner.
Long-distance marriage is far from quenching thirst, people have no physical needs to be satisfied, he is easily irritable, easy to be anxious, easy to be impatient.
Gathering less and leaving more is a high-risk marital status. This is destroying his physiological needs, and you want him to control his physiological needs with willpower, with morality, with love, it's too hard.
Second, there is no way to meet psychological needs in a timely manner.
People's psychological needs are very important, and there are several psychological needs that are difficult to meet in a remote state.
1.The lack of companionship, the dead of night, and the sleeplessness of sleep. When you're sick, when you're down, when you're upset, you need someone to keep you company.
2.There is a lack of comfort.
A person's mood will fluctuate, a person's mood will be low, there will be anger, and there will be irritability, who will comfort him? How can you comfort your partner when she is thousands of miles away?
3.There is little sense of belonging, and loneliness is cold.
The partner has no sense of belonging, and when he returns to the place where he lives alone, he has a cold pot and a cold stove, a bunch of stinky clothes and smelly socks, and there is no trace of anger at home, and he will feel cold and chilling.
Third, there is no way to produce the memory of **.
Our ** has a memory, and it would feel good if two people hugged and held hands often.
But if, for a long time, both of you lack this dissolution, your partner will reject it.
When I was counselling, I met a couple who hadn't seen each other for three months, and they even felt embarrassed when they suddenly saw each other.
Fourth, there is no way to form a secure attachment relationship.
A secure attachment relationship is a secure attachment relationship that is satisfying, expecting, replying, actively paying attention, responding positively, being able to be supported, affirmed, accompanied, and belonging.
Fifth, there is no way to enter the role of marriage.
After a long-distance marriage, he will enter the illusion that I am single, and he will not realize that I am married. Sometimes, the ring is a reminder that you are the one who is married, which is called role substitution.
Sixth, it cannot satisfy the multiple functions of marriage.
The function of marriage, to put it vulgarly, is firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, tea, physiological needs, emotional needs, material needs, interaction with children and the elderly, etc., these things are called the functions of marriage.
If none of these functions are completed, your marriage is fragile.
Seventh, there is no way to strengthen the mission and vision.
Why did you come together in the first place, do you remember why the other person attracted you?
If you're often away from home, you may both forget when you fell in love, when you got married, and what you're together for.
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Many times such couples eventually choose to break up, in their opinion, two people get along with each other without more words, or rarely have the opportunity to get along, after a long time, the relationship will fade, and they will choose to live their own lives.
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Couples who get together less and leave more eventually go their separate ways, because the husband and wife cannot be together for a long time, which will lead to a lack of communication and can not accompany each other, because companionship is very important in marriage, and companionship is the most affectionate confession, which will lead to more and more indifferent feelings and finally break up.
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My husband's sister and brother-in-law are such a couple. The son is currently in elementary school, and they have been living separately since they got married, for no special reason, that is, they don't want to go to each other's cities to live.
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1. The relationship between two people will become weaker, because there is too little time to get along, so that the tacit understanding between two people is less and less.
Second, many couples end up in divorce, because after a long time of getting together less and leaving more, people who can't stand loneliness will always have the idea of finding another person to accompany them.
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In the end, they were separated, because the two people got together less and left more, there was a lack of communication, and finally the two people gradually drifted apart and slowly separated.
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Eventually, most of them were separated. Gathering less and leaving more will cause emotional incompatibility, no matter how good the relationship is, it will become weaker, and it will be difficult to go on together.
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In the end, the relationship faded, and the two rarely got together and gradually lost their feelings, and eventually became like familiar strangers.
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My aunt and my brother-in-law have been getting a divorce recently, and it was my sister-in-law who proposed it. The aunt had just left her sister-in-law's mother, that is, her mother-in-law, and the funeral had only been completed for more than ten days.
When my aunt and my brother-in-law first got married, my aunt's family was quite poor. The aunt and the sister-in-law have a good relationship, and later the sister-in-law changed positions and her salary rose a lot, but she needed to travel frequently, once for half a year. Many front-line workers in the oilfield are of this nature of work, although they travel for a long time, but the treatment is good, and many people envy their aunt.
Later, my aunt served her father-in-law who was paralyzed at home and quit her job. After serving my father-in-law away, I also saved some money, bought a house with my sister-in-law and moved out to live, and my aunt Paqin has never been at work, because the money is enough to spend, and my aunt has not worked for so many years and doesn't know what she can do, she doesn't know what to do, she doesn't know what to do, and she doesn't have a diploma, so this treatment is half a lifetime.
The status of the sister-in-law at home can be said to be the king, and he will not use a rice cooker until now. It was the aunt who arranged everything for him, what he liked to eat, what he liked to cook, the meals were all set before the aunt was served, and of course the housework was also the aunt's. My sister-in-law likes to fish, and every time I come back to celebrate the celebration, I have to fish for a few days, and my aunt is also up to him.
We really can't figure out why my sister-in-law wants to divorce my aunt, how good is my aunt to my sister-in-law? Serving him and his father and his mother properly, what's not to be satisfied with?
I thought about it carefully, maybe it was because my aunt was not good-looking, she was old, and my sister-in-law often traveled on business, which gave my little three an opportunity.
After more than 30 years of marriage, from poor to rich, I have just reached the age where I can enjoy life, but I want to divorce, if I am an aunt, I can't divorce so easily.
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Marriages with less gatherings and more separations can be continued, as long as the husband and wife communicate effectively with each other frequently, they can enhance each other's feelings. Try the following solutions.
1. Analyze and find the cause.
If the husband and wife get together less and leave more to make a living, or want to earn more money and make the family life richer, then they should consider the pros and cons of doing so, and make a decision after comprehensive consideration, and do not give up family affection for money.
2. Strive to change the status quo.
If, as mentioned above, two people get together less and leave more for the sake of a richer family life, then you can sacrifice it, in the same place, even if you find a job with a lower income than the original, as long as the two people can be together, it is worth it.
3. Take the initiative to care about each other.
Although two people may not be able to be together for a long time for various reasons, it does not mean that two people cannot communicate, on the contrary, the more couples who are not together, the more they should contact each other through some necessary ways to let each other know each other's concerns.
4. Stick to the high ground of love.
If two people form a family, then they must jointly keep this responsibility, they must keep the high ground of love, don't think about finding a substitute, fill the emptiness or loneliness in their hearts, and over time, their feelings for their lovers will gradually change.
5. Share weal and woe.
The reason why husband and wife want to form a family is because the family can better assume a social function and better resist some emergencies, so husband and wife must tolerate each other and achieve both joys and sorrows.
6. Strengthen confidence and courage.
Life is indeed not easy, the husband and wife get together less and leave most of them are also a last resort, as long as we are full of confidence and courage in life, all difficulties will be solved, through the joint efforts of two people, try to get back together.
7. Open up to each other.
One of the most important things between husband and wife is communication, many old husbands and wives rarely communicate, and when they encounter problems, they like to carry them alone, and they get angry and quarrel when they can't bear it, and they see each other as a burden of life, which is wrong, and they must rely on each other and open their hearts.
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The marriage of less gathering and more separation can still continue, as long as the relationship between the two parties is still there, after all, there are still decades in a lifetime, and it is impossible to continue like this.
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No. No matter how good the memories of being together are, it is impossible to use this to support them for a lifetime, and if they can't even see each other every day, the two of them will drift apart sooner or later.
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can continue, as long as two people have a deep love and believe in each other, they can be happily together, get together less and leave more, but the heart is together.
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Of course, it can continue, many of the current families are men who go out to make money, women who take care of their children at home, and their marriages are not all doing well.
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If you can't go on any longer, if two people are often not together, the relationship will become weaker and weaker, and married life will become very boring.
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I can continue. Marriage is a matter for both husband and wife, and if both parties are united because of love, then the problem of distance can be overcome.
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No, if you get together more and leave less, the distance between the two people will gradually increase, there will be no common topic, and the relationship will fade.
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can continue, as long as the relationship between two people is still there, and they are worried about each other, there is no problem.
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It's hard to continue, spatial distance is really dangerous, and there are very few successful examples, after all, distance can create a lot of problems.
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You can go on, as long as you have a good relationship, there is nothing that cannot be solved by loving each other deeply, provided that you love each other enough.
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What happened to couples who get together less and leave more?
Pro, husband and wife who gather less and leave more, most of the feelings have broken down, and only a few people can hold on to their happiness. When two people enter into a marital relationship, mutual companionship and care are indispensable in life. But when two people are still in a long-distance state after marriage, it is really not easy for couples who get together less and leave more to be happy.
Husbands and wives need to love and care for each other, and married life needs warmth. Therefore, if the two couples are less together and more separated, improve it as soon as possible<>
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In the era of the global village, many couples will have to go to other countries because of work, and there are not a few who return to China once every three months, or only get together for half a year and a year. Is there a way to sustain it? Marriage needs to intersectKe Shulin, a clinical psychologist, said that there are more and more long-distance marriages, and if you want to maintain the relationship between husband and wife, the most important thing is to have an intersection, and the husband and wife have a common plan to discuss in life, and the two will always interact because they have a common plan, so as to make the relationship between husband and wife better.
If you have high expectations, you will be more likely to quarrelIf the husband and wife do not interact together, the relationship will change and become more and more cold! Psychologist Ke Shulin pointed out that the most common problem for couples to come to counseling is that they cannot interact, and many remote couples will even quarrel when they get together, but when they are together, the quality of life is worse, it is more difficult to get along, and they will be glad that they can finally go back to work. Therefore, many long-distance couples tend to get together during annual vacation or winter and summer vacations, because they have high expectations, and they are more likely to quarrel and seek counseling. Have common goals, interests, and valuesIt can be seen that it is not the question of long-distance marriage, but the problem of ideas and values.
However, many couples who come to counsel often think that distance is the killer of marriage. In fact, husbands and wives have common goals, interests and values, which is not only what long-distance marriages should have, even couples who get along day and night should also have this consensus; Because of common goals, interests and values, there will be common topics and a good relationship between husband and wife! A man and a woman in love will accommodate each otherKe Shulin psychologist emphasized that men and women in love often accommodate each other, but after marriage, after living for a long time, if there is no common goal, interest and values, there will be conflicts, and over time, there is no interaction between each other's feelings, and there is no intersection, which will make the marriage a situation.
What's more, in a long-distance marriage, where the husband and wife are separated, if one of the spouses has a common interest in the local area and can accompany them, they will inevitably be attracted. Husbands and wives should cultivate affectionTherefore, in order to have a harmonious marriage, husband and wife should cultivate common goals, interests and values; This is easier said than done. Because the two come from different families and have different growth backgrounds, they will be attracted to the relationship, but they will accommodate each other at the beginning of the relationship, and after they get married, they will find out why the other party does not have this habit and that interest will not be; Therefore, psychologist Ke Shulin suggested that couples should cultivate common values and common interests, overlap in life, and have overlapping ideas in order to maintain a good relationship between husband and wife, which depends on the intentions and consensus of both husband and wife.
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distance marriage, interests, values, Ke Shulin, Clinical Psychologist, h
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