Why do we sometimes treat our family members as well as outsiders?

Most people are not as good as outsiders towards their families, as if this is a portrayal of many people, today I will talk about the reasons, I hope to attract everyone's attention.

Everyone is more dependent on their own family, and they will feel that they are a child where they have a family, which will make people worry less about themselves. When we get along with outsiders, we have more worries, and this is actually the real self compared to our family, and we will only relax in front of our family, so we often leave our worst temper to our own family.

We all know that in this society, many times we cannot succeed by our own efforts, and many times we need the help of others, and it is very likely that paying more attention to our words and deeds when interacting with outsiders will help us. Now is a society with many people, and if you have a bad attitude towards outsiders, you will attract all kinds of complaints from everyone, which will affect your future. Family members are trustworthy people, so they will feel that no matter what kind of attitude, the other party will not leave them, which will lead to different attitudes.

Family members are people who are related by blood, and they can be infinitely tolerant and understanding of themselves, even if their attitude is not good, they will accommodate themselves. Many times, the attitude towards the family is actually just a vent, the helplessness of life, the pressure of work, etc., just reflect the worst side of themselves, but the family knows the temper of the other party and will choose infinite tolerance.

Family members are the ones we have been waiting for all our lives, and many times we leave our bad tempers to them because we know that the other person will forgive us. However, I believe that you should always have a good attitude towards your family, so that your family can feel happy and you will make the greatest contribution.

Because your family is "safe" to you, it will not pose a danger to you, unlike outsiders, who may be abused or hurt by the other party if they have a bad attitude. This inner security and inclusion of our family leads us to be unscrupulous and less considerate of our family.

Because we work outside the home, we give all our good tempers to outsiders and all our bad tempers to our families, and home is a relaxing environment, and we relax when we come home.

It may be that he knows that his family will tolerate him, so he will leave his worst temper to his family and the best temper to strangers.

Family members are the most familiar people to each other, but they are also the most familiar strangers. In fact, everyone thinks they know someone very well, but they are not. I don't understand what outsiders say, so I can slowly understand and understand.

As for their own people, they think they understand very well, and those who know very well are unwilling to understand anymore, and they have a fixed mindset. So it's even more indifferent.

In fact, many of us have this problem, because we are afraid of a certain relationship with outsiders, and we are unscrupulous about our family members, because we know that our family members will not give up on us and fall apart, so sometimes it is caused by this psychology.

They are generally bullying the weak and afraid of the hard, and they are short-sighted, do not know how to weigh the pros and cons, and cannot distinguish between right and wrong. One of the most important reasons is that they are accustomed to the efforts of their family members and do not have contact with outsiders for a long time. Therefore, they will form a "deserved" mentality, ignore the contribution of their families, and also move towards the opposite side of family affection.

People who are particularly good to outsiders and especially bad to their families are particularly inferior. After all, people's inferiority complex must be turned into some "emotions" to vent. Especially the psychological imprint of low self-esteem, they want to hide it through certain things.

So, after they were bullied by outsiders, they would point the finger at their family members and lose their temper with them. People who are particularly good to outsiders and have particularly bad families are cautious and do not know how to be grateful. There are also such relatives around you, you treat him very well, and you are the kind of wholeheartedly, but he treats your sincerity as a "riverside grass", disdains, and has no warmth for you.

It is because they have not yet achieved true gratitude, have not truly experienced the sincerity of their families, but have focused on outsiders and gone astray.

1. Between family members, they have no scruples, they are straightforward when they talk about things. Because it is a family, it will be tolerated. Because of this, he is fierce and ruthless to his family.

2. For outsiders, on the one hand, it is etiquette, and secondly, this digging will take care of the situation. For outsiders, if the verbal training is too heavy, contradictions will occur, and even evolve into force. So in general, it is much more polite to outsiders.

3. When it comes to important things, it's still the family that is more outward. In case of trouble, most outsiders will not be able to hide from it. and even fell into the ground.

There will be such a phenomenon in many families, the atmosphere at home is very poor, usually there will be quarrels after less than three words, or there is a person in the family who has a particularly strong sense of control.

He does not allow others to question the decisions he makes, and he also allows others to go against his will, and he is in charge of all matters in the family, and even likes to lose his temper and even have a bad attitude towards his family.

But you will find that as soon as he goes outside, his attitude towards outsiders is different, he is very easy-going and even respectful to outsiders, and the attitude at home disappears again. What kind of psychology is this?

Psychological pressure.

Some men work hard outside for the sake of their families, and they will inevitably encounter forced smiles, acting on the spot, groveling, and controlling their emotions even if they are sad.

I have suppressed too many negative emotions for a long time, but I don't have the right opportunity to express them outside. As a result, you may choose to vent it in the face of your family, and you will inevitably have a little temper.

In this regard, as a family member, we should show understanding and care, and actively encourage men to express their true feelings and thoughts in their hearts, otherwise bad emotions will accumulate for a long time, which will be harmful to men and families. At the same time, don't blindly endure, express your inner feelings, find emotional ** together, and solve problems.

Otherwise, if a woman is too tolerant and indulgent to the other party, and always has a laughing mentality that doesn't want to care, the man may become even worse. When you meet this kind of person, you owe him in your previous life.

This is first of all related to the family, usually communicate with the family is not good, the leader has been tired of it for a long time, and it will be better than the family to care about it when outsiders care about it, and the attitude is also more friendly than the family.

It may be that some family members do not understand their children, causing some children to lack love for a long time and begin to get tired of their families.

Because of your family, you can hurt wantonly, but outsiders can't.

In fact, many people are the same, and some things are fearless, just like when you are in love and after you get married.

Because family members can be tolerant, but outsiders can't.

This is a common phenomenon, but also a superficial phenomenon, and the family is still recent.

Dealing with outsiders, I have changed a person, I will not be polite, but impatient with my relatives, and I need to put up with each other's bad habits every day. 's relatives are not as good as outsiders, and their self-esteem is super strong.

This habit is strong, and the requirements of outsiders are different, because he is a multi-faceted person, outsiders are not sincere, but his relatives are generally very tolerant, and his behavior and habits determine how to deal with outsiders, of course, he can't be too enthusiastic this year. For outsiders, the mental and emotional intelligence of adolescence is essentially used to staring at the key to strength, because impression management refers to a person influencing others' impression of himself through a certain method, and others will take it for granted.

On the contrary, they will pretend to be gentle in front of outsiders, and they must know how to be grateful and cherish. When impatiently complaining about loved ones,.

Summary. Dear, glad to answer for you. <>

<> some people, the reason why they have a good attitude towards their family members and a bad attitude towards outsiders is that they always regard their own people as their closest people, and they treat you with a good temper because they care, which is also about your performance.

Why do some people have a good attitude towards their family members and a bad attitude towards outsiders?

Dear, glad to answer for you. <>

<> some people, the reason why they have a good attitude towards their family members and a bad attitude towards outsiders is that they always regard their own people as their closest people, and they treat you with a good temper because they care, which is also about your performance.

It's good for your family, it's good for outsiders, why do you scold people on the Internet.

Dear, this is venting your emotions on the Internet.

How old is he?

Is it psychologically ill? 28 too.

Dear, 28 is normal.

Married. Not married.

Dear, what is the reason for scolding on the Internet?

Having a girlfriend is good for her.

It's a stranger. Dear, it's normal for a 28-year-old unmarried boy to have a little girl chatting.

Dear, he has a girlfriend

Implying that he took the initiative to talk to others or was being approached by others.

Dear, have you communicated privately?

Treat outsiders with respect and politeness. As soon as the door is closed, he calls his wife and children as servants, sometimes scolding, and even doing it in serious cases.

On the outside, he looks gentle and elegant, with a spring breeze on his face, and kind eyebrows. When he came home, he was very irritable and lost his temper with his family without any reason.

This kind of people, as the saying goes, is called "rats carry guns in the nest". What is the reason for this?

The reasons why netizens voted are probably as follows:

1. Poor temper and ignorance of gratitude. It is natural to feel that it is right for family members to be good to them, and as long as family members say or do something that they feel undesirable, they will lose their temper unreasonably.

2. The way to vent emotions is not right, too impulsive. I was wronged outside, but I didn't dare to complain in the slightest, and when I returned home, I no longer suppressed my emotions and let them go. However, the way of release is not right, which leads to a very poor attitude towards the family.

3. A full two-faced person has different attitudes towards different people. Outside, you always need to consider whether your words and deeds will offend others and threaten your own interests, and show people with a mask. When I get home, I will take off my camouflage and expose my scumbag nature.

4. Strong personal machismo, feel your strongest at home, and you are the boss. However, when he left the house, he clamped his tail, because the outside world was not something he could rule, and he knew that he couldn't afford to mess with it.

5. The personality is relatively poor, but the self-esteem is super strong. Outside with everyone with a pleasant face, for fear of offending anyone, that poor self-esteem does not allow himself to lose face outside. When you get home, you find a sense of accomplishment and psychological balance in your family.

The above, more or less, will always carry a little bit of prejudice that does not know the truth. Of course, there are also cases where the pressure of work is high, which inadvertently leads to a temporary loss of emotional control.

However, no matter what the reason is for your poor attitude towards your family, you should not be. After all, the warmest harbor of home is the pillar that will always stand behind you and give you support, your friends, your colleagues may betray you, but your home is your eternal home.

Think about it calmly: your life is given by your parents, they pulled you up, how much time and energy it took to make it difficult. Your other half has also been paying for this family, he or she has no complaints, why should you only care about your own feelings.

You will also grow old, and do you want your children to lose their temper with you in the future?

So, please be kind to your family, remember their kindness, and please know how to be grateful.

Many times, we treat our friends or colleagues politely, for fear that what we say will hurt them. And when we face our own family members, especially our parents and spouses, we speak very casually, and sometimes it is difficult to listen, but we don't care, because they are our relatives, and they will not leave us no matter what. And our friends or colleagues are likely to stay away from us because of a word.

Last night, I quarreled with my mother a few more words, and my mother was also very angry, and went downstairs without dinner, I was also very embarrassed, thinking in my heart, I still did not do it right. Although it is a little imperfect for a mother to take care of her child, after all, it is enough to take it for a day to ensure the safety of the child. When I returned home, not only did I not get affirmation, but I fell into a lot of complaints.

If you think about it yourself, you will be very angry.

It usually doesn't take long for family members to get angry with us, especially parents who don't blame us too much. But the more this is the case, the more vigilant we must be and pay attention to this issue. Take advantage of this opportunity to discover your own shortcomings, especially in communication.

When we communicate with colleagues and friends outside, we generally don't come up directly to say that the other party is not doing well, but will first give affirmation and praise, and then make suggestions, hoping to make any changes.

This is a method in itself, there is a communication technique called Rapoport's law, there are four steps, description-recognition-gain-suggestion, first describe the other person's point of view, then say what you agree with, then say what you have gained, and finally put forward your own opinion or suggestion. This is also consistent with the concept in "Critical Dialogue", all the foreshadowing done above is to create a sense of security, so that the other party feels that there is no threat, it is an equal dialogue, and it can relax the mind. A very important way here is to learn to listen, in the process of listening, we can be calm, in order to find out which points of view of the other party we agree with.

The ultimate goal of communication is to achieve a win-win situation, not a victory for one side. We must grasp this principle when communicating. Otherwise, we win the debate and lose the feelings.

There is a point of view that we often see that home is a place for feelings, not reasoning. This point of view cannot be said to be completely correct, and I suggest that it be changed to talk about both feelings and reasoning. Talking about feelings does not mean being with the mud and blindly accommodating the other party, otherwise there will inevitably be one party who is fine on the surface, but very painful inside.

Being reasonable does not mean being indifferent and ruthless, and you must refute the other party, which will inevitably lead to the loss of one party. The reason we are talking about is also the same truth, all aspects are taken into account, and a win-win situation is finally obtained.

So, how do we make a good communicator? To sum it up. One is to create a sense of security, using Rapoport's law.

The second is win-win thinking, we must think of the purpose of communication before communicating, and do not argue or make peace with the mud. The third is to learn to listen, let yourself calm down and close the calendar, and think about whether the other party is reasonable.

The above is to encourage you.