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I know that the influence of your family of origin on you may be that your parents have been strict with you since you were a child and made you unconditionally obedient, or your parents' emotionality may make you afraid of conflict, so that you have lost the strength to resist now, and have continued to act in the family environment. But when you come to ask this question today, you mean that you are starting to wake up, and you don't want to go on like this, right?
As for the children you mentioned in your description who do not listen to their parents and are not sensible, will they become more capable and better when they grow up? In my opinion, of course you can, because people who want to grow up in a family environment like you, there are many people like this in real life, so don't put too much pressure on yourself, but take your time and give yourself more time and energy to digest the problems you encounter at the moment. I'll tell you a few ways:
1. What is the fear and fear in your heart? Make a list of them one by one.
For example, if you can't refuse your classmates, what are you worried about? Don't dare to refuse your parents, what are you afraid of? If you can't resist bullying, what is the fear?
You can concretize the event, the feeling of the fear in your heart, the more detailed the better, the more you understand your fear. For example, "I don't listen to my parents because I'm afraid that my parents will get angry and don't like me anymore", "I don't dare to refuse my friends, I'm afraid that they will hate me, ignore me, and isolate me", etc. When you know yourself, imagine being faced with something that needs to be rejected and asking yourself, "Do I really need to be afraid?"
Is it really that important to make them like me? ”
2. Learn to say no to small things.
Start with your parents, you can try to refuse their requests and go your own way. This will allow you to build up your strength slowly.
Third, then, in other relationships as well, learn to refuse their demands and not be afraid to affect the relationship.
Think about it another way, "They really think of me as a friend, they don't always think about me, why do I have to think about them?" If you are afraid of being hated by others, I recommend checking out the book "The Courage to Be Hated". Psychology books are great for spiritual growth.
4. In the face of school bullying, I don't know if you have spoken out or asked for help.
Haven't you stated what stage you are at now, and have you entered society? Try to do what you've always wanted to do but didn't dare to do and experience what it's like. It's like riding a roller coaster, and you're very scared when you don't go up, but if you really sit on it, it's nothing, isn't it?
Whether it's bullying in the past or social relationships now, you need to face yourself.
So, do you want to be who you really are, or do you want to be who you are in the eyes of others? Of course, this requires a process, you can take your time, try to break through, and only by bravely trying again and again, can your inner strength grow, and it is possible to bring about real change.
If you can, choose a counselor to help you!
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Not necessarily, whether he will be better in society depends entirely on his learning ability and people who know how to be flexible.
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No, children who don't listen to their parents will generally have no future, and such children will be insecure from an early age, and they will not take the initiative to learn, lack concentration, and have very poor habits, which is the precursor to school boredom, and will also develop bad habits.
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Because disobedient and ignorant children are more active in thinking, they are willing to innovate and have their own ideas, so they will become better and better, while obedient children, whose thinking is limited by their parents, will behave more ordinary。As an elder, I definitely prefer obedient children, because such children don't have to worry about adults, and they will follow what their parents tell him to do, and those who are disobedient are generally children who give parents a headache. But when children become adults, there will be a very big gap between the two, those who are disobedient and often scolded by their parents for not being sensible, often perform better, while children who are obedient when they are young are more ordinary.
Parents want their children to be obedient and excellent, but the reality is always unsatisfactory, so as parents, you should also think about whether the direction of education is correct.
Disobedient and ignorant children have their own ideas, they are unwilling to follow their parents' arrangements, and often work against their parents. It is this kind of leaping thinking ability that makes these children become better and better, whether in school or in career, they can achieve better results through their unique thinking ability.
Those disobedient and ignorant children have been scolded a lot since they were young, it can be said that they grew up listening to the scolding of their parents all the way, and such children have a stronger ability to resist setbacks. Because they are not recognized by their parents from an early age, they will become stronger and stronger, and they want to prove themselves, so many people can succeed.
Let's take a look at those obedient and sensible children, who have followed their parents' thinking since childhood, so their innovation ability is not strong. I don't dare to have my own ideas in study and life, so it is difficult to make a breakthrough, and some parents are not successful themselves, and they want their children to go on their own path, and it is difficult for children to succeed.
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Because children who don't listen to their parents are more able to break the rules and jump outside the circle of rules to see things and solve things.
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This is because if you listen too much to the parents, this is very unfavorable to the cultivation of children's independent character and independent ability, those who have independent opinions, their life goals are stronger, so in the future development can do more comprehensive planning for themselves, for the improvement of their ability and the development of excellent ability is of great help.
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These kids don't have any discipline and they are very creative, so they're better.
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We will find that many parents think that if their child is obedient, then the child is very good. And like some disobedient children, they are often complained by their parents. But in real life, there are some disobedient and ignorant children, but they will be more excellent, I think, it may be because this type of children have their own ideas, and their thoughts are more active.
Such children are very assertive, they will stick to one thing after they decide it, so it is easy to succeed.
Generally, like children who are not very obedient, they are more adventurous, they will not rely too much on their parents, and they will usually be brave enough to tell others what they think. In fact, this type of child is not ignorant or disobedient, but they hope that their inner thoughts can be respected by others and that more people can listen to them. In the minds of parents, they will think that there is no resistance, blindly listen to the words of parents, such a child is a good child, but I feel that such a child is like a puppet.
Really excellent children, they will choose to be brave to express their inner thoughts, and in the eyes of parents think that ignorant and disobedient children, because they do things vigorously, and they also know how to insist on their own opinions. Therefore, when they grow up, they will also have the temperament of leaders, and they will bring great surprises to everyone when they grow up.
We must not always look at whether a child is excellent or not through the surface, we must learn to look at our children through the surface, and don't always think that our children are very ignorant and disobedient because of some of the children's behaviors. Children are a single individual, they have their own ideas, it is impossible to say everything to listen to their parents, such a child is absolutely useless when he grows up, so this is also a place that parents need to pay attention to.
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Because this kind of child has his own thinking ability, has his own ideas, and is not controlled by others' thoughts, so he is also very assertive when he encounters things in the future.
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Disobedient children are relatively active in thinking, they are creative, and they will be better in the future.
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It is because of such a person that his thinking is very active, and he is also particularly able to resist pressure, so he is even better.
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If you have a choice, you are given two choices, do you like your child to be super obedient or ignorant? I'm sure many parents will choose the former. How likable obedient children are, not only are the teachers in the school pampered, the relatives and friends around them praise, and the parents are also worry-free and secretly happy.
But are too obedient children really good? Are children who seem to be disobedient and ignorant useless compared to children who are too obedient? No, it's not.
Every child has a thousand possibilities, and ignorant children are more creative and expressive, but it may take time to tap into their talents.
Children who are too obedient will completely obey the advice of their parents or teachers and will not have the space for independent thinking, so that although it seems to be smooth sailing now, once they experience ups and downs, they will be at a loss. Not to mention the huge setbacks they sometimes encounter in life, and they don't know how to deal with them. But relativelyChildren who are not sensible have experienced constant quarrels with their parents and partners since they were young, discerning, and then finding their own way from differences.
Such children are also easy to accept negativity and criticism, have a strong ability to resist frustration, and are more able to cope with all kinds of life when they grow up and walk out of their own path.
Children who are too obedient follow a path planned by others, so they lack independence. In addition, because the path is chosen by others, there is no initiative to take responsibility. When I encounter something in my life, I often choose to escape, I am afraid and unwilling to make any decisions, and I "ask my mother" if there is something.
Disobedient children are completely different from them. In ordinary life, because they are disobedient and different from adults, they choose their own decision, so they have to bear any consequences for this decision, so children who grow up like this will have a stronger sense of responsibility and higher independence.
So, I'm going to open the question. If my child is too obedient and I'm not too happy, it means that homeschooling is not successful. Every child has their own thoughts and choices, and I like to work with them to do things and then guide them to choose a path that they are willing to accept and not go wrong, and just stick to it.
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Children who are not sensible have the following advantages: 1. Lively personality, 2. No inferiority, 3. Good at communication, 4. Not afraid of others, 5. Dare to express themselves, 6. More laughing, 7. More flexible thinking.
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This type of child is more likely to have his own ideas. They have good innovation ability, as well as good logical thinking ability, quick response, and more thorough analysis of problems, and strong self-confidence.
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They are more courageous and will be brave enough to try some opportunities in society. You will be more bold in interacting with people, dare to talk to people, communicate with others, make more friends, and have more network resources.
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In normal times, children do some things, and their thinking is very active, unlike adults, which will have certain limitations. Especially children, when they are engaged in some innovative things, their ideas can be described as wild, and many imaginations are beyond the reach of adults.
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Compared with sensible children, ignorant children may have their own unique ideas, and cannot completely say that they are ignorant, and often such children experience things more comprehensively.
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It is the sole responsibility of the parents that the child is disobedient and unprepared. A child's behavior is influenced by many factors, including genetics, environment, social interactions, personality, and life experiences. Therefore, parents cannot blame themselves entirely for their children's behavioral problems.
However, in some cases, parents may indeed have some responsibility for their child's disobedience. Here are some of the conditions that can cause a child to be disobedient:
1.Lack of guidance and supervision from parents: If parents do not set clear rules and limits, and do not correct their children's wrong behaviors in a timely manner, then children may become unscrupulous and appear uninhibited.
2.Disorganized home environment: If there are communication difficulties, frequent conflicts, or other stressful and unhealthy situations in the home, the child may feel unsafe and lost, leading to defiant and challenging behaviors.
3.Parents have a negative attitude towards problems: If parents do not pay enough attention to whether they are obedient or follow the rules, or if they give up too easily or punish their children's negative behaviors, it will affect whether their children will develop obedient habits in the future.
Therefore, parents need to set clear standards of behavior and give their children timely feedback, support and encouragement to guide their children to follow the rules and behave positively. In addition to this, the home environment should be as quiet, stable and orderly as possible, and parents should be role models for their children and set an example for good behavior. If the child's disobedience persists, parents are advised to seek professional help and advice.
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