Why is there so much emphasis on loving parents? Why aren t Westerners like this?

The Western way of life is all about personal space! In other words, everyone is looking for their own thing! Parents don't interact closely with their children as adults!

Have you seen Growing Pains? The way of life in it is a portrayal of the way of life in Western society!

But China is different and it has to do with traditional culture! Parents and children have a closer relationship!

Many foreigners who come to China say that they envy China's way of life of four generations.

The main reason boils down to the question of lifestyle

Westerners have good social security, and when they are old, they have no problem living independently. It's different here for us, parents basically have to rely on their children to support them when they are old. This is also the duty of every child

Westerners also emphasize that they love their parents, go back to Mars, and the earth is very dangerous.

I think this has a lot to do with the way of family education, and of course it is also influenced by the traditional culture of our country.

and the influence of habits.

Take it for myself! I grew up in a family where parents will not express their love to their parents in words, and they will not teach me how to use words to express love to my parents, they feel that loving a person needs to be sincere, with action, rather than with "rhetoric" to show their love, since childhood parents to grandparents or grandparents to express their love in the way they want to be high is to buy them clothes, send good food, visit them, take money for them, When grandparents are sick and need to be taken care of, they will "saddle up and back", never complain, I know they really love their parents, but I have never heard them say a word about my parents I love you, of course, I grew up in this environment and naturally learned this way.

Actually, I am very grateful to my parents and love them very much, but I can't express it in words, to be honest, it's not that I can't say these words, but I'm really embarrassed to say it, because I haven't said such things since I was a child, and now I can't say it when I grow up.

Chinese children are too reserved and have a lot to do with the parents themselves, if parents teach their children to express their love in words from an early age, then children will form this habit, and they will not feel embarrassed to say this, it is natural.

If the whole society is expressing their love for their parents in this way, then it will be natural, and children will form this habit from an early age, and they will be good at expressing their love to their parents.

Because Chinese are more introverted, Chinese are not good at expressing their hearts and feel that there is no need to express them.

The West stresses fraternity, while the Chinese emphasize filial piety.

Traditional Chinese Confucian Filial Piety:

On the one hand, parents give birth to children, and the child's life is given by the parents, and the parents are kind to the child.

On the one hand, the son was born and inherited the ancestral incense of his father, so the son also has kindness to his father.

Confucianism is about humanity and acknowledges the mutual kindness between parents and children, but Confucianism also has a shortcoming, which is the neglect of women's power and status. In the kindness of parents to their children, it is recognized that both parents are kind to their children. In the kindness of the child to the parents, only the son is considered to be kind to the father (the daughter and the mother are in a subordinate position).

Confucianism believes that daughters are kind to their husband's family because they help them pass incense. Therefore, Confucianism believes that daughters are inherently indebted to their parents.

Although this kind of filial piety in Confucianism is lacking (lack of women's rights), it is still very good on the whole, but it was later misinterpreted (after the Ming Dynasty), only emphasizing the kindness of parents to their children, ignoring the kindness of sons to their fathers.

The West does not talk about filial piety, the West talks about fraternity, the West does not think that parents are kind to their children, nor do they think that children are kind to their parents, and when they give birth to children, they will thank God (God) for giving them children, and the children will be raised by the grace of their parents, and they will thank God (God) for giving them a good parent. Westerners who abuse their children will think that the parents have turned their backs on God's gifts. If a child abuses his or her parents, he or she is considered to have turned his back on God's gift.

The greatest god in the Chinese tradition is the ancestors, and the only true god in the Western tradition is God.

Buddhism is different from Chinese and Western traditions. Buddhists believe that the human body is rare (humanity is bittersweet, and it is convenient to practice the Dharma), that parents give birth to children is a great kindness, and that children come to repay their parents and collect debts, all according to different karmic forces.

Westerners, generally referring to Europeans and Americans, they are different from us, and we will follow the way of Confucius and Mencius. x Filial piety first. They don't,

Hello! Westerners treat their parents almost differently from us, the same need to support the elderly, but Westerners may be more independent when they become adults, and generally choose to live separately from their parents.

That's the difference in culture, nothing to blame! This is how it has been passed down from generation to generation!

Filial piety has been in China for thousands of years, and it has influenced our daily lives from ancient times to the present. In the past, my parents did not travel far away from home, but now I have to go home to see my parents during the New Year's holidays. These are all manifestations of filial piety.

It's just a different kind of thing from what loving parents in the West show. I think there is indeed a certain difference in this, on our side, it is more about filial piety first, so people on our side are more willing to pay attention to filial piety to the elderly and honor their elders, so what about Western countries, they give these spiritual freedoms and freedom are completely different.

How do Westerners treat their parents, and what is the difference between how China treats our parents? The difference is very large.

In Western culture, expressions of love for parents and elders are often achieved through words and actions. Here are some of the ways Westerners show their love for their parents and elders:

1.Use affectionate addresses for parents and elders, such as "dear mommy", "dear dad", "dear grandpa", etc.

2.Saying "I love you" to parents and elders is a very common expression in Western culture.

3.Expressing love for parents and elders by writing letters or sending emails is a way for people to express their emotions in more detail.

4.Giving gifts to parents and elders, such as flowers, chocolates, books, meeting tickets, etc., is a way to show gratitude and love for them.

5.Spending special moments with your parents and elders, such as birthdays, holidays, vacations, etc., can strengthen your bond with each other.

6.Providing support and assistance to parents and elders when they need help, such as helping them with household chores and accompanying them to medical appointments, is a way to show care and love for them.

Methods include saying I love you, giving gifts, spending time with you, etc.

1. Say I love you: Westerners are more direct and frank, and it is important to express feelings in language, and often say I love you to relatives to express their love and concern for them.

2. Give gifts: Westerners are accustomed to using gifts to show their love. For example, on special occasions such as birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day, or Father's Day, gifts are purchased and given to loved ones to show gratitude and affection for them.

3. Time companionship: Westerners pay attention to family and affection, and try to find time to spend time with their families and spend a good time together. For example, on weekends and holidays, I will choose a suitable place to have dinner with my family or do some activities such as walking, watching movies, etc.

Let me talk about what I have seen and heard in the United States, and see how the lives of the elderly in the United States live, and you will know how Americans treat their parents who are too old to take care of themselves after marriage.

In fact, I am most surprised by the independence of the elderly in the United States, in the parking lot in front of the supermarket, I can often see some elderly people trembling from the driver's seat with crutches to get out of the car, and then move to the back of the car to get off the electric wheelchair, take the electric wheelchair to the supermarket. If you drive on the road, you can see that many drivers are white-haired old men or old ladies. These old people in the United States are people who have driven cars for decades, and if they have a car, they will drive to make them more self-reliant, which is one of the old people's culture in the United States.

There is another phenomenon that the elderly in the United States will entertain themselves, the apartment I live in is in a small town, the small park next to our institute has a small ** meeting every month, the band is an old man in a floral shirt, and the hundreds of spectators below are also old men and grandmothers, they come with reclining chairs, lie there with beer and listen to songs, and the active ones gather in front of them to dance, so lively! I wonder if they can enjoy such moments because they can drive out and want to come out and play.

Let's get down to business, how Americans treat their elderly parents. I live in an apartment complex where there are a few elderly people who live alone, and they all have very bright cars and drive out every day, and I don't know what they do, but it's definitely not a job, because they're too old. They can be seen walking their dogs together in the neighborhood every day.

The grandmother downstairs was probably happier than the others, because the grandmother's youngest son came in to live in, and the grandmother often went to the daughters' houses, saying that she was going to take care of her grandson, and she was gone for about a month. Yesterday she told me that today she is going to have an operation on her leg, and the day after tomorrow she will go to her youngest daughter's house to see her grandson...

In fact, they also have a place to go, there is an apartment for the elderly in the town, the rent for the elderly is very low, almost all the people live there, and they can chat together together, which is actually very good. However, when they feel that it is difficult for them to take care of themselves, they will go to nursing homes, or hire elderly care service companies to provide door-to-door services, such as feeding, cleaning, body cleaning, etc., but this kind of door-to-door service will be more expensive and lonely, so they will choose to go to nursing homes more often.

In this small town where I live, I know of three nursing homes, I have never been to a nursing home in the United States, I don't know what the environment is like, but in general, the elderly care industry in the United States is relatively mature. The elderly in the United States and their children live together is not much, the old can not take care of themselves will not return to the children's home, the most choice is to go to the nursing home, some do not want to go to the nursing home to live not far from the ion woman's home, nursing care service companies to do, but the children will care for the elderly spiritually, to the elderly family fun.

In any case, in the future, elderly care will become a huge industry, and it is a trend for the elderly to enter nursing homes or hire service companies.

1.Provide emotional support. This is the most needed help for parents, who want their children to know what they think.

Parents should be asked if they have encountered difficulties and obstacles from anyone or anything. If parents accidentally do something wrong, children should not be angry and blamed, but should be comforted so that the elderly do not have to worry anymore. If your children do something wrong, apologize to the elderly in time to prevent them from getting angry.

2.Take care of your parents' health. If the parents have been in poor health, the children should hire caregivers from a regular labor service company to take care of the daily life of the elderly, provided that the economic conditions allow.

Equip your home with a variety of first-aid medicines and facilities so that parents can call themselves in the event of an emergency and get to them in the shortest possible time.

3.Ensure that the parents are financially stable. There are situations when parents don't want to bother their children and don't dare to ask for help when they are experiencing financial constraints.

As a child, you should regularly check whether your parents' pension has arrived on time and make a guarantee: if you need help, you will not hesitate to help.

4.Build a memoir for the elderly. Older people often experience short-term memory problems, and emotional memories can help.

Prepare a scrapbook for your parents, in which you will paste the ** of acquaintances and friends, and mark the name and place, and some major events in your past life. If your children have time, you can make a scrapbook with the elderly and explain the details of everything to them. In addition, a schedule can be made for the elderly to remind parents not to forget important things such as taking medications, medical appointments, and medical check-ups, and mark them with obvious colors.

5.Hit ** often. If your residence is far away from your parents' residence, be sure to greet them often, know what your parents are doing, what their health is, what their plans are, and arrange a certain time to visit the elderly during the chat.

6.Be patient. Parents are easy to forget things when they get older, can't remember where to put things, and do things a little slowly, at this time, children must not have a disgust mentality, because this is the time to show your patience with your parents.

More importantly, if you live with your parents, accept their habits, experience their likes and dislikes, and respect the choices they make, because these habits are learned over the years and are difficult to break.

7.Arrange gatherings for parents with other family members. If you are not the only child of your parents, arrange for them to meet with other children regularly, and parents will want to have more gatherings with their own relatives or elders to the delight of their parents.

When arranging for parents to meet with their grandchildren, children should tell their grandchildren stories about their elders' past and cultivate their sense of love and support for the elderly.

8.Arrange for the elderly to participate in community activities. Sometimes, older people will want to share ideas with other peers, so make them participate in community activities for seniors regularly and create opportunities for them to meet their peers, such as arranging lunch parties and cultural and sports activities in the park.

This will make older people feel refreshed and interested in their peers.