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In this case, if you can't communicate, first of all, don't get angry, don't think about how to change him, let alone think it's your own mistake, focus on yourself, and be a better version of yourself.
Your boyfriend knows that you are angry and crying, and not only does he not comfort you, but when you reason with him, he says that you are making a big fuss and even thinks that you are very unreasonable. If your boyfriend is like this, he never resolves conflicts and likes to run away. He is like a person who has nothing to do every time he has a problem, first of all, you should understand that he doesn't care about you.
If he cares about you, then he will understand you and he will not do this to you. For example, when we see stray cats on the road.
When we are dogs, we all want to pet it, comfort it, or give it food, not to mention people. But he will feel that comforting you and making you happy is a particularly unworthy thing to do, so he will not do it, which is the result of psychologically unworthiness.
Why does he think it's not worth it, because you give too much, do too much, he doesn't have to do anything, you give him everything. He doesn't have to do these things for you. So at this time, the more you want to tie him to your side, the more afraid you are of losing him.
In fact, there is no need for you to compromise with him and become infinitely humble.
Don't get angry, don't think about how to change him, and don't think it's your fault, at this point you should do something else and focus on yourself. Then do your best to change yourself, to elevate yourself, you should be a better version of yourself, don't be afraid that he will ignore you in order to punish you or control you, don't worry that he will be separated from you. Instead, you should be brave enough to tell him how much he has hurt you and how much he might lose you if he does it again.
This problem does require strategies and skills to deal with cold violence from a partner.
Don't be impulsive, cry or lose confidence, sigh every day, and be indifferent for a long time, it can cause serious damage to the person's body and mind. If you don't want to suffer like this again, then improve it.
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Faced with such a situation, you should find an opportunity to communicate calmly with your boyfriend, and also tell him the reason for your temper. You should also make the other person understand you better, so that you can solve the problem.
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should take the initiative to break up with each other, which means that two people are not in the same world at all, and they will often quarrel through this kind of thing in the end.
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If it's not a serious situation, it's better to communicate well, and break up if it doesn't work.
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Your boyfriend knows that you are angry and doesn't coax you to reason because:
1. He knows that you are angry, but he thinks the most reasonable way is to be reasonable.
This is the inertia of thinking that is commonly used in our land.
I used to be, and it was very serious, and it took many years of returning to Wang before I had an epiphany.
I suffered a lot of losses and studied a lot of psychology courses.
Your boyfriend is like this, it's really annoying, everyone is so angry, and he doesn't coax people, he's really a straight man, it's unbearable, it's so annoying.
If he really loves you and is just used to reasoning, it's okay to tell him and then guide him and teach him how to do it.
Because most of his original family, his parents usually use reason to deal with problems.
and his life experience, all of which he encountered that could be solved with reason, or he didn't find anything wrong with such a quick draft.
But that doesn't prove that this is all right, it's very different.
Because you don't have any other detailed description, I don't know if you are students, or if you have been working, how long you have been working, what occupation, your family situation with him, basic personal experience, or not much experience, etc., I don't know, so I can only say as much as I can.
Because between couples, the first thing to communicate is emotions and emotions, which is obviously that he can't pay attention to your emotions, which must be infuriating.
But now that you know, he can't know your emotions and ask him, so he still can't realize it, so I repeat that if you love him and want the relationship to go on better, tell him in as clear language or words as possible.
For example, I am angry now, because of what I am angry about, what do I need him to do, is to come and comfort me, if he can't comfort, what can I do, if not, I can push my land to him, let him see.
If he loves you too, he will do it.
If you are not willing to change, this is not called change, it is called growth, and if he is not willing to grow, he just doesn't love you.
2. It's just that you think that he knows that you are angry, but in fact he does not know that you are angry.
This seems to be a bit winding, because it is like this, your way of expression, such as the error of the state of the bulging, the difference in life experience between you and him, the level of his receptivity, and so on, will produce errors in the transmission and acceptance of information between you. That's why communication, intimacy needs to be communicated. No matter how happy "Family with Children" is, there are many such conflicts.
3. He knows that you are angry and knows that he can care about your emotions, but he still deliberately reasoned with you.
This is deliberately foolishness, even if you want to be reasonable, you have to calm your emotions first, and then have the opportunity to be reasonable. It's not called reasoning, it's about communicating with you. I once again emphasize the importance of communicating with Mu Lingxiao, as the name suggests, let's take a look at what is said in the text of the explanation:
Communication": Communication, there is a chasm, only need to be dredged. The ditch, on the left is water, which means that you need to pay "three waters":
saliva, sweat, and even tears to "communicate"; The right side is still "hook", the heart knot is still there, and the knot is unsolved.
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If a man does this, it means that he doesn't love you anymore, so it's better to give up and find someone who truly loves you to be happy.
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Your boyfriend is a straight man, he doesn't coax you, you just coax yourself, scatter your heart, it's okay when you're angry, it's no big deal.
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This shows that he has changed his knowledge to a person who is a reasonable person and will not condone women to destroy violently.
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Your boyfriend knows that you are angry and doesn't coax you, but he still reasons. If there is a Q substitute, why is this happening?
First, because there is a huge difference between the thinking of men and women, men are rational and women are emotional.
Men are result-oriented, goal-oriented thinking, so they like to speak in a coherent way, while women are communication- and emotion-oriented state thinking, so they prefer a roundabout way of communication that can only be understood but not spoken.
Second, in the general perception of society, men should take the initiative and chase, while women should be reserved and chased. Therefore, what a woman in love cares about is the man's initiative and spontaneity towards herself, and puts herself in a position of passive acceptance.
The above two points lead to the woman feeling that if she takes the initiative to express her needs and feelings, her self-worth will be greatly reduced. Because in a woman's cognition, reserve is precious, even if you like it, you have to bow your head first.
But the operation mode of men's brains is simple and direct, there are not so many twists and turns and gray areas, only the mode of making demands - executing on demand, and lacking a kind of empathy.
When a person gives himself to others, he is most likely to lose himself.
Indeed, it is extremely irrational to always need others to coax you, and it is extremely irrational to involve your emotions in others, in addition to putting yourself into a situation of self-containment, for the man, because of the mental pressure you exert, he will lose his own space and the motivation of Zheng Qianqian, and he will not be able to take a step forward.
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Why does my boyfriend reason with me when he knows I'm angry?
The situation you are talking about should be that your boyfriend is a straight man who doesn't know how to coax you to cheat on girls without rhetoric, and will only reason with you, thinking that it is okay to make you understand the reason.
It's not easy to live, and I'm eager to meet warm-hearted people.
At home, it is good to have a warm-hearted lover who thinks of you in everything, speaks in a measured manner, and never makes you angry;
In the unit, there is a warm-hearted group that doesn't care about everything, doesn't laugh or talk, and never quarrels with you, how good;
Outside, there is a group of warm-hearted people, there are people to help them in everything, everyone is kind, and they never blush with you, how good. If there is such an opportunity, I am afraid that he will be the happiest person in the world. I want to be such a person, I don't think anyone wants to.
However, looking back at myself, is he a person who thinks about his lover in everything at home? I always want my lover to treat myself well, but do I treat my lover well! The ancients said that respecting each other is like a guest, and you treat your lover as a guest!
Perhaps, when I got married, I was still dismantled, but after a long time, my lover's face was wrinkled, not beautiful, and her speech was vulgar, so I got tired of it. There are frequent quarrels, and it is not pleasing to anyone who looks at them. So when you ask people to be nice to you, first you have to be nice to people.
Those who love love to return, and the love is deep when the love is true. On the contrary, complainers complain and ...... when they are upset
In the unit, you are eager to meet a group of warm-hearted groups, everyone is a group of kind, empathetic, do not care about things, the overall amount of others, smile at you every day, never quarrel with you. But have you done that? Do you give your brightest smile to your colleagues every day?
Do you think about your colleagues and leaders every day? Don't you ever take your anger out on others? If so, congratulations, you must be the most popular person and the happiest person; But the fact is that you always put your emotions on your face, one will be sunny and one will be yin, one will be bad, one will be that bad, and one will be bad, saying yes and wrong in front of colleagues, although it is not a big deal, but it makes people feel that you are always a little wrong, colleagues are alienated from you, and the leader does not trust you, can such a day be called a good day!
You must know that those who benefit others benefit themselves, and those who are blessed are blessed.
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Explain that he doesn't love you, and if he loves you, he won't leave you hanging out and let you deflat.
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Are you in the wrong? It's a shame that he reasoned with you, instead of being angry with you, this boyfriend went to ** find the missing key?
You're not stingy, you're a little too casual. The first meeting is important. It's even more important than that. >>>More
The root of this is that the parents say that the child cannot understand the truth at all, and then there is a tendency to violence, and the child cannot accept it, so in this case it is disobedient.
Hehe, after reading your explanation, I see that you are full of anger and depression. Still, think about where they stand. They're doing it for your good, but it's just a bit too much. >>>More
I think that when encountering this situation, I can also make corresponding counterattacks against my mother-in-law's behavior, I can do this behavior in advance before my mother-in-law does it, and splash all the dirty water on my mother-in-law, you can pretend to be aggrieved and pitiful, and when we express our grievances, we must also deliberately let our husband see that we have been hurt, so that my husband will feel more sorry for himself, and he will stand on his side.
Aries, but Scorpio can be very unreasonable at times.