What should I do if I can t communicate and resolve family conflicts and disputes in remarriage?

Can you explain why?

Remarriage Family Relationship Counseling: Coordination.

As the divorce rate increases dramatically, so do the number of remarried families. Chongqing Cuncaoxin Psychological Counseling reminds that in a remarried family that has been reorganized, interpersonal relationships will inevitably undergo new tests. Often manifested in interpersonal conflicts between parents, between children, and between children and parents, the combination of these relationships can put the remarried family at greater risk of breakdown.

Therefore, interpersonal conflicts between remarried families have also become an important part of family psychological counseling, which is not only a test for the families concerned, but also a test of the professional level of experts engaged in family emotional psychological counseling.

First of all, emotional counseling should be given to the families concerned, especially the parties involved.

For every member of the remarried family, regardless of the current emotional state, it was once a victim of an unhappy marriage. Therefore, when there is a conflict between the two parties, it is not only the expression of the emotions of the two parties, but also the activation of past pain between family members. Therefore, in this case, it is necessary to pay attention to the negative emotions within the family members concerned and give timely guidance.

Second, find the crux of the conflict through interaction with family members.

In daily family conflicts and conflicts, we often only focus on some superficial conflicts, but the essence of the most fundamental conflicts is not easy for us to detect, so only the observation and communication of senior psychological counseling experts on the interaction patterns between family members can find the crux of the problem. Of course, this largely depends on the level of business of the consulting specialist.

Thirdly, find the most suitable interaction mode according to the actual situation of the family;

Chongqing Cuncaoxin Psychological Counseling reminds that after finding the crux of the problem caused by the conflict within the family, this is only to find the cause of the problem, the most important thing is to find the most appropriate interaction mode between family members, the change of this interaction mode often takes a period of time to adapt, just like receiving psychological counseling, it also requires the active cooperation of the family members concerned to complete, therefore, in this link is not only a one-sided one-man show of psychological counseling experts, More often than not, it is necessary for family members to coordinate and cooperate with each other.

How to deal with the family relationship of remarriage? This is indeed a complex issue. Remarried families come in various forms.

In its simplest form, a remarried couple had no children from their previous marriage, or one of the remarried families was married for the first time. In this case, the structure of the remarried family is very simple, and the family relationship is relatively good.

However, this is often not the case with remarried families. Often, one or both of them have children, and one or both of them have children living together in a remarried family; There are even one of the remarried couples, or even the parents of both parties, living in the remarried family. Others, although they do not live together, have to go back and forth frequently, such as visiting minor children, visiting parents, receiving people from rural hometowns, or helping people from their hometowns, and so on.

In this way, the relationship between the remarried family, which has both a personal relationship and a property relationship, becomes complicated.

The relationship between people includes the relationship between husband and wife, the relationship between husband or wife and the children of each other's previous marriage, and the relationship between husband or wife and each other's parents. The relationship between things and property is the property of each before remarriage, including houses, vehicles, **, equity, deposits, intellectual property rights, etc., as well as the distribution of income after remarriage, the burden of debts, and the burden of daily expenses.

Therefore, the family relationship of remarriage is indeed very complicated. So, how to deal with remarriage family relationships? It is recommended that you follow the law, practice and actual situation.

That is, both parties should be open and honest, make clear agreements, make public statements, and do not hide or complain afterwards. Again, be tolerant, be generous, and understand each other. Also, try to balance fairness and efficiency, don't just focus on one end and don't be overtly unbalanced.

Since you plan to live together and become a person under one roof, you should consider each other more, take the initiative more, don't worry about everything, and don't always be on guard against each other. In the case of strong vigilance, the two sides are very awkward, very tense and depressed, and it is difficult to cultivate feelings and dispel doubts.

The biggest contradiction in the remarried family should be the problem of the previous marriage of both parties. Everyone should make some things clear at the beginning, after all, some people have children before, even if they remarry, they can't ignore the previous children, so it is impossible to completely cut off contact with the ex, this must be made clear, don't cause conflicts with the current because of these things.

Families who remarry first may face some problems with their ex. For example, if you are still in contact with your ex-husband, or if you are still in contact with your ex-wife. Another problem is the problem of children.

In fact, since two people have decided to reorganize their families, they must tolerate each other's previous families. Including to accept his children.

Remarried families generally have conflicts that are difficult to get along with their children, especially if they are not accepted by the other party's family, and such conflicts can only be resolved through their own kindness, so that the other party can fully accept themselves.

Remarried families need to take care of it together in life, and live a good life of firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea. Crises of confidence often occur. In this way, it is easy to form family conflicts.

The relationship of remarriage is very fragile, and it is best not to let your parents get involved in your relationship at this time. The remarried family will also continue to pay child support to the person from the previous marriage. Remarried families are all caused by the economy, so it is important to communicate financially in advance.

So if you remarry, don't have anything to do with your ex. After experiencing a failed marriage, cherish your current life even more. Look forward, try not to recall the original life, and not to mention the ex in front of the current one.

After remarrying, be financially honest with each other.

What is the biggest contradiction in the second-married family? How can this contradiction be overcome?

The biggest contradiction in the first- and second-married families is the issue of raising children.

The reorganized family should be blessed, but there are many contradictions contained in it, the biggest contradiction is about the issue of raising children, and only by facing this problem can the remarried family go on happily. In the original family, the child has developed inherent living habits, and in the new family, it is difficult to change, if the stepfather or stepmother criticizes a little, the child has no way to accept it, which may lead to very serious consequences.

Second, you should treat each other's children as if they were your own.

Since two people have come out of the past and become husband and wife, it is a fortunate thing; And if children can become brothers and sisters, they should cherish this hard-won life. Whether facing one's own children or the other person's children, one should not favor one over the other, and should treat them with an equal attitude. Some stepfathers or stepmothers are afraid that the other party's children will be left out in the cold, so they will be particularly spoiled, which will develop the bad habit of reaching out for the child's clothes and opening his mouth for food.

When exercising children, we must dare to let go, even if the children do not understand at the time, as the days slowly advance, the children will definitely understand the good intentions of adults.

3. On the issue of educating children, we must communicate more with the other half and maintain a scientific view of parenting.

If the husband and wife always follow their own way and never communicate with each other when educating their children, it will not only be easy to misunderstand, but also detrimental to the child's education. Everyone has their own ideas about educating children, but this idea is not necessarily correct, if these ideas are taken out and discussed by two people, it is likely to have a better effect, and besides, such families are prone to misunderstandings in this regard, so communication with each other is very important.

The biggest contradiction in the second-married family is still the aspect of interests, and in order to overcome this contradiction, it is necessary to arrange all the interests in advance.

In the second-married family, the biggest contradiction is the problem of children, if both parties have children, so there are not a lot of quarrels, so the second-married couple should balance the relationship.

The biggest contradiction is how to solve it. Because some second-married families want to have children, and some don't want to have children, I think the opinions of both parties should be respected.

Most of the contradictions in the remarriage of young people come from the problem of children, and the remarriage of the elderly is mostly due to economic problems.

Marriage itself is very difficult, but perhaps even more difficult than marriage is the remarried couple. My aunt is in her thirties, she used to have a five-year marriage, and now her uncle is a remarried family with her. The uncle is much older than the aunt, and once had a marriage that was not short-lived, unlike the aunt, the uncle had a son in the previous marriage, and after the divorce, the son lived with his ex-wife, and the uncle only needed to pay child support regularly.

My aunt's restructured family marriage has been stable for two or three years, but recently it has begun to become restless. My aunt couldn't help but quarrel with my uncle. The aunt complained, saying that the uncle was entangled with his ex-wife and was disconnected.

The uncle had a clean and self-righteous attitude, and the two began to have a cold war. One thinks the other person is unfaithful, and the other thinks he's right.

After the two had a cold war for more than a month, my uncle offered to propose that the two should have a good talk. He admitted that he occasionally contacted his ex-wife privately because his son had to do so, but he only felt that it was hard for his ex-wife to take care of the children alone, so he tried his best to help her within the scope of his ability. It's not that I want to break the tie or remarry.

chose to hide his aunt because he knew that his aunt had a stubborn temper, and he was afraid that she would be unhappy if she found out.

After listening to his uncle's explanation, his aunt forgave him for concealing it before, and he knew that remarriage and reorganizing the family needed to be more careful in order to have a happy family. Through this conflict, the two realized that they had made mistakes in this matter, and the uncle lacked trust in his aunt and concealed that his aunt was a manifestation of his opacity, which made his aunt suffer from gains and losses, and had a sense of insecurity.

My aunt also admitted that her choice of the Cold War was wrong, and that it was an act of evading problems and intensifying contradictions. So the two reached some agreements, hoping to help the couple in the future when there are differences or contradictions.

1.When the conflict intensifies, choose to calm down, apologize first and then reason

When a husband and wife quarrel, it is best to avoid the emotional peak of the other party first and apologize to the end. Excited emotions can't be vented, and it's hard to listen to reasonable words, so in this case, if you want to stop arguing and not hurt each other's feelings, you shouldn't be in a hurry. The slightly more rational party should admit their mistakes first, let the other party see the apology, and wait for each other to calm down.

2.Wait for the right moment and take the initiative to communicate

Learn to find effective opportunities, take the initiative to carry out an efficient communication, show your own attitude, should not be cold and violent when you quarrel, talk calmly, express your thoughts about family and marriage, your position and attitude towards past experiences, and eliminate misunderstandings between each other.

3.Don't run away from problems, learn to negotiate and resolve conflicts, and build the most basic trust

All matters in the family should be decided through consultation between the two of them, including the husband's problems with his ex-wife and children, and strive to find a balance between the two parties, not to lie to his current wife, to trust each other, to accept the involvement of his wife in supervision, to dispel her concerns, and to gradually build her sense of security.

This is the agreement between the aunt and the uncle, of course, the problems and situations faced by each reconstituted family are different, and the specific problems need to be analyzed specifically, but I hope that these gentlemen's agreements can help more remarried families!

He could only endure it, because what he cared about was his children.

Talk to them! Tell them about the serious consequences of coddling.

They all have their own families, so don't think about it so much.

Chat with each other often and know what your family is thinking.

Remarry without any problems.

There are contradictions to find themselves.