Jokes in Mandarin and dialects about 500 words .

Military; The coach said in dialect: "The first class kills chickens, the second class steals eggs, and I will make porridge for you Everyone was puzzled, and later learned that what the coach said was: 'Y is the first version of shooting, and the second class is throwing bombs, and I will give you a demonstration.

The review is as follows:1. The countryman came to the supermarket and said, "I want your life (noodles), pig sun (bamboo shoots)!" ”

2. The fish seller shouted vigorously at the top of his voice: Fish, fish. A jujube seller next to him was not to be outdone, and then shouted:

Bad (jujube), bad (jujube). Fish. Oops.

Fish. Bad. ＂

Putonghua (Standard Mandarin Putonghua), another name for modern Standard Chinese, is a lingua franca with Beijing pronunciation as the standard sound, northern official dialect as the basic dialect, and exemplary modern vernacular writings as the grammatical norms. Chinese is not the same as Mandarin, and the promotion of Mandarin is not to artificially eliminate dialects, but mainly to eliminate dialect barriers, so as to facilitate social communication, and there is no contradiction with the people's use of inherited dialects.

Introduction to MandarinAs one of the working languages of the United Nations, Putonghua has become an important bridge for cultural exchanges between China and foreign countries and the preferred language for foreigners to learn Chinese. As of 2015, 70% of China's population was fluent in Mandarin, and about 400 million people were confined to one-way communication that they could understand. The "Implementation Plan for the Popularization of the National Standard Language" plans to "basically popularize the national standard language nationwide by 2020", specifically the national Putonghua penetration rate will reach more than 80% on average.

The following are some jokes about MandarinA collection of funny jokesI've been happy all day long, and I hope you're happy every day!

1.Last winter, I went to my wife's house, and there was a cow milking company in their village, and a bottle cost seven yuan a catty, and Lao Tzu couldn't drink so much, so he said, "Boss, I want two yuan," and the boss gave me a blank look: two yuan??? Then you squat down and take two puffs yourself.

2.The mess was hilarious, and the day before yesterday I was arguing with my daughter-in-law. My daughter-in-law went back to her parents' house in a fit of anger, so I had to go to my mother-in-law's house with a gift to pick up my daughter-in-law and go home.

At lunchtime, my father-in-law said to my daughter-in-law: "Look at your mother, you can't beat you away, look at you again, run to your mother's house after a few words, hurry up and go back to me...""The mother-in-law's face is green.

3.If you have something to do, go to the office to find the leader. I happened to meet an aunt who came to apply.

Leader: What kind of work have you done before? Auntie:

I just came out of my hometown! For the first time this year, I didn't have much work experience. The leader scratches his head:

We're only looking for skilled workers! Have you ever raised a pig in your hometown? Auntie:

I've raised it. Leader: Okay!

Then you come to work tomorrow! I've always been curious about Auntie's position. Until this morning, I saw my aunt busy in the cafeteria...

4.My husband and I got married on a blind date, and we got engaged and married in a month! I was walking in the park with my husband last night, and I suddenly asked him, why did you marry me at that time?

He said: There was no spare tire at that time, so you didn't have the choice alone! Suddenly there was a feeling of five thunders!

5.In the future, you must eat the beef first when you eat Lanzhou ramen, otherwise you won't be able to find the beef when you eat the noodles, and I have never drunk ramen soup, I drank all the soup today, just to find that piece of beef!

6.Yesterday a fish pond was newly opened, and the fishing fee was 100 yuan. Fishing all day did not catch a fish, the boss said that anyone who did not catch a chicken will be sent, many people went, each person came back with a chicken, everyone was very happy!

I think the boss is very interesting!! Later, the warden of the fishing ground said that the boss was originally a professional chicken farmer, and there were no fish in this fish pond.

7.I didn't have change on the bus just now, I spent 1 yuan in the small shop next to me to buy a barbecued sausage, and gave the boss 100 yuan.

Once upon a time there was a man named Villain, and he gave birth to two sons, one named Sniper, and the other called Death. One day when he died and disappeared, the villain went to the police station with a sniper rifle: My name is the villain, and I came with a sniper rifle to find death.

One day the moon and the stars said, You know? The sun is a drunkard, and he always beats us orangutans