How the family of origin affects our lives

We can't change our parents, instead of blaming our parents and complaining about the past, we should grasp our own initiative as an adult and take the initiative to repair our own problems, and you will find that growing up is actually a way to reconcile with your parents.

I recommend the book Getting Out of the Trauma of the Family of Origin.

I feel like the family of origin.

It is the parents who are alive, the parents are very loving, they are also very friendly to the children, and the parent-child relationship is very harmonious. So if the original family is bad, how do we define it, that is, the parents are divorced and single-parent children, the family cares less about the children, the children do not feel love, and the love is missing, these can be said to be the bad of the original family, and the impact on the children in the future is very bad, for example, if the children who grow up in a divorced family, they may be more and exclusive to marriage or marriage. If you choose to get married, you will feel panicked, and you will always feel like your original family, and you will reject marriage or have a fear of marriage.

Children from good families can grow up strongly, and there will be no psychological problems. For example, I have a friend by my side, he used to have very good grades and his own personality is particularly positive, optimistic and cheerful, and later his parents divorced, he lived with his mother, and then he had certain problems in his heart, for example, when he faced work, he was particularly unconfident, did not believe in his own ability, and then there was a certain doubt about the affirmation and recognition of others, and the psychological trauma brought to the child was very, It can be emotional, it can be psychological, it can be serious. <>

The influence of the original family on us is very great, such as living habits, character values, these aspects will have a certain impact, for example, children from poor families, if they fall in love, they will have a relatively low self-esteem psychology, which is actually the influence of the original family on him, some children dare not fall in love, dare not engage in objects, because they are particularly inferior, and then feel that they are not good-looking and have no money, so they reject falling in love, have no self-confidence, and feel powerless when they encounter problems. <>

The children created by the original family may not be particularly good, but if the original family is not good, the child will have certain psychological or emotional defects when he grows up, and he needs to seek help from a psychiatrist at this time.

Or it can be solved with the help of other friends. Therefore, as parents, we must care more about our children, solve more communication with our children, and if we are parents with bad original families, we must pay more attention to the psychological or emotional changes of our children, and we must communicate with our children in a timely manner.

I think the original family has a very big impact on a person's life, the quality of the original family, in fact, to a certain extent, will affect our future life path, of course, I think our future life path is still in our own hands, we can use our own hands and efforts to change our own future, of course, we can not deny the impact of the original family on our character.

I believe that many people will think that the family of origin can affect the life of an individual, I do not deny this point of view, it is true, everyone's family of origin is different, we can see from a person's living state and personality what a person's family of origin is like. Therefore, the original family can affect a person's life to a certain extent, so the original family is good and bad, from this point of view, what kind of enlightenment can we draw? Obviously, if we want to make our children's lives happy, if we want our children's character development to be sound, then the living and family conditions we create for our children must be happy, if the child lives in a family that is not sound, or the family is full of negative energy, then his future life and character will be greatly affected.

Let's discuss what is called the original family is good, the original family is generally the original family is sound and full of positive energy, the parents love each other very much, the child who grows up under such a family, he will grow up surrounded by happiness and warmth, his character will be relatively sound, and he will look at the world from a more kind perspective, so when he establishes his own family in the future, he will also establish the template of the current original family; <>

If the original family is bad, generally speaking, the original family is not sound enough, full of negative energy, many people feel that their future path is determined by themselves and the original family, but I think this is not the case, our future road and our character are in our own hands, if we want to change our own destiny, the only way is to rely on our own hands and efforts to change. <>

If the original family is not good, it will easily affect the child's character, and the child's character is not good, and when the child enters the society in the future, it will be easy to let himself have problems, and he will live a special hardship.

If the original family is particularly good, it will definitely be easy for you to have a better character, and it will be easy for you to have a sound personality, which will make you not particularly extreme when you encounter things in life, and you can also deal with trivial problems in life very well.

The family of origin still has a great impact on people's growth. If the family life is happy, the child will be more cheerful and optimistic. And if our life is full of negative energy, it will have a great negative impact on the child's future life and personality.

I think that if the child is fostered out of this kind of original family, this kind of child is very selfish, inferior, and has no sense of family responsibility. Choosing a spouse Do not choose a spouse in this kind of family, especially a wife, the choice of a wife is an important choice that can affect three generations of the family.

I think the family of origin has an impact on people, but not all of them, generally speaking, if the family relationship is harmonious, the child's character will be more sound. However, getting out of the adverse effects of the original family is another task for us in our lifetime.

Family of origin refers to the initial family environment in which a person grows up. In the family of origin, there may be some negative interaction patterns between family members, such as domestic violence, depression, apathy, etc., which can adversely affect the individual's physical and mental health.

Breaking off relatives is a first-class method, because the influence of the family of origin will continue into adulthood, breaking off relatives can free people from the negative influence of the family of origin and reshape self-identity and interpersonal relationships. The effect of severance varies from person to person, and it generally needs to be customized according to the individual's situation. For those who have strong negative emotions such as depression, indifference, and severity in their original families, breaking off relatives may bring certain improvements and improvements.

However, there are also studies that prove that severance does not necessarily work for everyone. Because the method of severing relatives has certain limitations, it can only allow people to temporarily relieve the depression and negative influence of the original family through the inward or outward way of thinking of the breakthrough. However, after the end of the **, whether people can really use the experience brought by the ** to improve interpersonal relationships and their own state also requires the individual's own subjective efforts and the accumulation of time.

Therefore, it is recommended that before choosing the best method of breaking off relatives, it is still necessary to understand the personal situation and physical condition as much as possible, and at the same time, it can also be combined with other methods, such as psychology, counseling, etc., to jointly solve the negative impact of the original family problem.

Affinity severance has been around for decades as a method. The basic idea is to improve interpersonal relationships, eliminate negative emotions and free yourself from the problems of your family of origin by severing ties with your family of origin. In the process, courses are usually used to help individuals solve some inherent cognitive patterns and inherent behavior patterns through courses, short-term hospitalizations, training, etc., so as to achieve the purpose of eliminating the influence of the original family situation.

However, severing is not the most suitable method for everyone, and some people may experience uncomfortable emotions such as trembling, memories, disappointment, and even physical reactions, such as headaches, sore throats, muscle aches, etc. Therefore, before choosing to sever one's relatives as the first method, individuals need to fully understand their own situation, and carefully distinguish their feelings in the process, especially the appearance of discomfort and negative emotions.

After the end of the **, it is still necessary for the individual to rebuild himself, including learning to establish new interpersonal relationships, resetting life goals, and getting rid of the negative impact of the original family. Therefore, in **, we must not only rely on the guidance of the ** teacher, but also need to take the initiative of individuals to actively change themselves and the surrounding environment through various ways.

In short, severance is a method with certain risks and limitations, and individuals need to consider their own situation comprehensively when choosing this method, and constantly improve their psychological quality and interpersonal skills.

The original family has always been a heavy topic, everyone will be more or less affected by the original family, after all, from childhood to adulthood, the environment in which we live for a long time, the people we come into contact with are like this, and they can't be changed, some people's original family may be happy, and some may be a nightmare, we can't choose our own birth, and what we can change with faith is our own thoughts.

If the original family is happy, then no matter where you go, your parents will be your backer and dependence, and it will be a place where you feel happy when you think about it, your parents are always at home, and happiness is always there.

If your original family is not so happy, I also hope that you can take care of yourself when you grow up, ** yourself, and have the ability to be happy, so that no matter what you face, you can accept it calmly and live your own life.

<> "4 major influences of the original family, each of which will affect your life!"

The original family is a person's fate! Everyone has two families in their lives, and the first one in Zaolu is the home where we grew up from a blind child, with parents, brothers and sisters; The other is that when we grow up, we get married, start a family, and start a new family. The first of these is our family of origin, and when we have children, we become the children's family of origin.

In everyone's life, the earliest, greatest and longest influence on him is the family of origin. From birth, we have been influenced by the members of the system. From a certain point of view, the family of origin does affect the fate of a person's life.

1. Intimacy.

In psychology, there is a theory that our patterns of intimacy, marriage, and affection often come from the psychological experience of interaction with parents during childhood. The family of origin is the first place to learn about personal emotional experiences and ways of getting along with the sexes.

Whether a person is happily married or not is usually planted in the family in which he grew up and in the experiences of his childhood.

If a person has missing parts in his original family, he will often desperately double up to find them in adulthood, and even bring them into his future love and marriage to find them, which will bring trouble to intimate relationships; And the part of a person who is satisfied in the original family is easy to make trade-offs.

2. Personality traits.

Lee Kai-fu said: "Those who grow up in criticism are sentenced to empty eyes and blame others. Children who grow up in fear are often worried. Children who grow up with ridicule have a shy personality. Children who grow up in shame feel guilty. ”

Children who grow up with encouragement are confident. Children who grow up in tolerance are able to endure. Children who grow up in praise know how to be grateful. Children who grow up in recognition, like themselves. ”

In just one paragraph, it shows how different original families will bring different personality traits to children. Psychologically, it is believed that children's self-confidence and affirmation of their own value as a person are fundamentally the unconditional love of their parents.

3. Parent-child relationship.

If the trauma we suffered in our original family is not healed and grown, then we are likely to repeat the tragedy in our own children. As the world's top family volleyball tutor Bertu Ushamo said: The love that parents can naturally give their children is usually the love they get from their own parents.

4. Money relationship.

Often, people who are struggling to make ends meet, or who have wealth and always feel deprived, have one or more of the above limiting beliefs. And these beliefs are often shaped in their original families and growth environments.