What if you don t have an opinion?

You may be a dependent personality.

1. Performance characteristics.

Dependent personality disorder is a more common personality disorder in everyday life. The U.S. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines the characteristics of a dependent personality as:

1 Unable to make decisions on everyday matters without receiving a lot of advice and reassurance from others.

2. Feelings of helplessness, allowing others to make most important decisions for themselves, such as where to live, what career to choose, etc.

3 Feeling abandoned. Knowing that others are wrong, he also echoes it, because he is afraid of being abandoned by others.

4 Without independence, it is difficult to plan or do things alone.

5. Excessive tolerance, willingness to do things that are inferior or undesirable to please others.

6 Feelings of discomfort and helplessness when alone, or going out of their way to escape loneliness.

7 Feeling helpless or broken down when an intimate relationship is interrupted.

8 He is often tormented by thoughts of abandonment.

9 It is easy to be hurt by not receiving praise or criticism.

As long as five of the above characteristics are met, a dependent personality can be diagnosed.

**Method. For dependent personality disorder, the following methods can be used:

1 Customary Correction Method. The dependent behavior of the dependent personality has become a habit, and this bad habit must first be broken. Take stock of which of your actions are habitually dependent on others and which are decisions made in vain.

You can keep a daily record for a week, and then divide these events into three categories of autonomously conscious, moderate, and poor, and summarize them every week.

For events with a strong sense of autonomy, you should insist on doing it yourself when you encounter similar situations in the future. For example, if you wear bright clothes to work one day, then you will continue to wear bright clothes to work in the future, and don't give up because of other people's gossip until you no longer like to wear such clothes. These things are small, but they are the breakthrough for you to correct your bad habits.

For events with a moderate sense of autonomy, you should propose ways to improve them and implement them gradually in future actions. For example, if you listen to your friends' opinions when making a work plan, but you don't appreciate them, you should tell your friends why you don't like them.

In this way, your own opinions are incorporated into the work plan, and as your own opinions increase, you can gradually move from listening to other people's opinions to making your own decisions.

For events with poor autonomy, you can use trick control techniques to gradually strengthen and improve autonomy. Trickery refers to adding self-created colors to the behavior demanded by others.

2 Rebuilding self-confidence. If you simply break the habit of dependence, without looking for the root cause, then the dependency behavior may also be **. The method of rebuilding self-confidence is to correct it fundamentally. Treatment of dependent personality disorder.

The first step is to eliminate bad childhood marks. Dependent people lack self-confidence and have a very low sense of self, which is related to the inferiority complex left by the bad education in childhood.

The second step is to rebuild courage. You can choose to do something a little more adventurous and do one thing a week.

Analysis: Assertiveness is your independent opinion and perception of things. When others disagree with you, it doesn't mean that other people's ideas are bad.

Mature and assertive people will have their own judgment on what they want to do, and at the same time, they can rationally look at the suggestions of others and learn from others' strengths. In the end, choosing the most reasonable one is not necessarily your own assertion in the first place.

Method: Expand your knowledge and think positively.

On the premise of referring to the opinions of others, insist on making your own decisions on your own affairs.

Regularly voice your opinions online, at home, and in the classroom.

Dare to refuse. Financially independent.

Nurturing children's opinions:

1. Actively solicit children's opinions and ideas, and let children make some decisions on their own. For example, if you take your child to the supermarket to do some shopping, you can ask him what he wants to buy; When you take your child out, you can ask him what means of transport he would like to take; When traveling with your child, ask him what he thinks he needs to prepare.

2. Break the child's superstition about authority, instead of blind obedience and blind imitation.

3 Do home mind games with your child. Parents can identify a topic or problem and ask their children to come up with multiple ways to solve it.

4. Cultivate children's ability to think and judge independently.

5. Frequently ask questions with your child, leaving space for him to think and answer without interfering.

6 Listen to your child's "nagging", listen to your child's "justification", and teach your child to say "no".

Think carefully before accepting someone else's opinion, and then decide. When you feel that it is easy to make mistakes, you have to observe well, think well, and make judgments quickly.

Be quick to make decisions. When people can make choices quickly, even if they make mistakes, they can quickly make judgments, replan themselves, and start analyzing and thinking about their own ideas.

Someone else says what he thinks, let them say it. Do your own things, listen to your true thoughts more, and decide what price you think is more satisfying to your thoughts.

Learn to bear the consequences, no matter what we choose right or wrong, only by making a choice in continuous judgment, we must be responsible for it, instead of blaming ourselves, feeling that we can't make decisions at all, and we need to sum up our own experience.

Love yourself more, refuse to have low self-esteem, and build self-confidence. Have confidence in yourself, believe that you will be able to do everything well, and you must be perfect, be your truest self, don't be afraid of others, believe in people more, and believe in the good things in the world.

If you break this situation, you actually have to adjust your personality, and your personality can be changed.