Ask for a stand up comedy script to be funny and short 200 words!

Fang Qingping's opening the toilet or childhood anecdotes, there are texts on the Internet that can be found casually, and 200 words can't be said for two minutes at all, or Guo Degang's small words Journey to the West.

Mother: "Baby, Mommy is busy, let's dry the clothes outside." Don't let anyone steal it, call me if there's something. ”

Baby: "Hmm".

A thief came and said to the child, "How old are you?" ”

Baby: "5 years old".

Thief: "What's your name?" ”

Baby: "My name is Xiaohu".

Thief: "Do you know me?" ”

Baby: "I don't know".

Thief: "Let's play together, my surname is teasing, I call you to play, you call me, call me." ”

Baby: "Teasing you".

Thief: "Okay, that's great. ”

The thief took the clothes, and Xiaobao shouted loudly: "Mom, he took our coat." ”

Mother: "Who?" ”

Baby: "Teasing you".

Mother: "It's so good-looking".

The thief took the pants, and Xiaobao shouted loudly: "Mom, he took our pants." ”

Mother: "Who?" ”

Baby: "Teasing you".

Mother: "The kid." I'll beat you up in a while, don't scream if you look good."

The thief took away the quilt sheet, and Xiaobao shouted loudly: "Mom, he took our quilt sheet." ”

Mother: "Who?" ”

Baby: "Teasing you".

Mother: "The kid." If you are not honest, I will beat you. ”

The thief was gone, and the mother came out: "Where are our clothes?" ”

Baby: "Take it".

Mother: "Who?" ”

Baby: "Teasing you".

Stand-up comedy is a very traditional cultural performance form, it is a form of cross talk performed by one person, through storytelling, imitation of voice, etc., so that the audience can feel the joy of life in laughter.

In stand-up comedy, performers are required to prepare a large number of scripts and lines, which are usually full of humor and witty language. For example, a performer can express the character and characteristics of a character by mimicking the tone and language characteristics of a character such as a bank clerk, a police officer, a boss, etc., which can elicit laughter from the audience.

In addition, there are many classic lines in the stand-up comedy series, such as "What you say is the truth, but this truth can't be eaten", "Look at the world, how many people are desperate for money, it's so important to have money" and so on. Through the interpretation and expressions of the performers, these lines can resonate and laugh more with the audience.

In general, stand-up album is a very interesting and culturally connotative form of performance, which allows the audience to feel the joy of life in laughter through humorous and witty language and performance, and is also an art form that shows the talent and skills of actors.

Fang Qingping's (childhood old things) is good, hehe.

One day, the teacher walked into the class, and the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" ”

The teacher said indignantly, "Just good morning? What about my afternoon? Isn't it bad? ”

Then the students shouted in unison: "Good afternoon, teacher!" ”

The teacher said indignantly, "What about me at night? ”

The students shouted in unison: "Teacher, it's okay at night!" ”

The teacher nodded and said, "That's it, now shout again!" ”

The students shouted in unison: "Good morning, good afternoon, good afternoon, good evening, teacher!" ”

The teacher said, "Sit down!" Today we're going to review antonyms, and we're going to practice like this, and I'm going to say, you say the antonyms out loud. Start now. ”

Teacher: "The weather is fine today. ”

Student: "It's a bad day. ”

Teacher: "It's sunny everywhere. ”

Student: "It's cloudy everywhere. ”

Teacher: "The road is crowded. ”

Student: "The road is empty. ”

Teacher: "Young. ”

Student: "Old. ”

Teacher: "Stand." ”

Student: "Lie down".

Teacher: "There was a young man standing on the road. ”

Student: "There's an old man lying down on the road. ”

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar." ”

Student: "I lost a dollar." ”

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar and gave it to the teacher." ”

Student: "I lost a dollar and went to steal the teacher." ”

Teacher: "Wrong, you can't say that!" ”

Student: "That's right, that's what you should say!" ”

Teacher: "Wrong. ”

Student: "Correct. ”

Teacher: "It's not okay, it's illegal!" ”

Student: "That's okay, it's legal!" ”

Teacher: "I said it wrong. ”

Student: "We're right. ”

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is correct!" ”

Student: "Listen to us, what the teacher says is wrong!" ”

Teacher: "You are stupid. ”

Student: "We're smart. ”

Teacher: "Stop! ”

Student: "Go ahead!" ”

Teacher: "Stop now!" Stop it! ”

Student: "Let's move on now!" And more! ”

Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" ”

Student: "We're all geniuses, we say go ahead!" ”

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher!" ”

Student: "Teacher listens to us!" ”

Teacher: "Students have to listen to the teacher!" ”

Student: "Teachers have to listen to students!" ”

Teacher: "Now stop practicing!" ”

Student: "Now let's get back to the practice!" ”

Teacher: "Are you all endless?" ”

Student: "We have a beginning and an end!" ”

Teacher: "Then you stop!" Stupid pig! ”

Student: "Then let's move on!" Talented! ”

..After that, the teacher angrily walked out of the classroom with the book in his arms, and lz begged for adoption.

A: Yo, isn't this a little X?

B: Yo, it's little X, what have you been busy with lately?

A: Hey, it's nothing, playing chess, I haven't seen your old man anymore, is he okay?

B: Thanks to you, I'm still tough.

A: Your dad also likes to play chess.

B: yes. A: No, I used to play chess with your father.

B: That's right. A: One time when the two of us were playing chess, I still had one soldier left, and your father still had one elephant left...

B: Isn't that a draw?

A: Yes, I also play chess, but your father doesn't do it, so he has to continue playing?

B: Huh?? So what's going on?

A: Hehe, your dad has an idea.

B: What's the idea?

A: Your father said, "Why don't we all cross the river?" ”

B: I haven't heard of it!

A: Then your father's elephant crossed the river, and my taxi crossed the river, and your father took his elephant like me and me.

Take my gentleman, your father... Your father is like me again, I am your father again, your father is like me, I am your father.

Your father is like me, I am your father, your father is like me, I am your father, your father is like me, my father is like me, and your father is like me.

I am your father, your father is like me, I am your father, your father is like me, I am your father...

B: you!!

A: Our family is a family of braggarts!

B: Our family is still a professional braggadocio!

A: Our family brags that we don't pay taxes.

B: Our family brags and doesn't pay yet!

A: It's not blowing, I was born to go to the toilet.

B: Crawling?

A: Who is born to crawl?

B: So how do you get there?

A: The bed is like a toilet!

B: It's called bedwetting!

A: I'll be running in three months.

B: That must be a freak!

A: My mom went to work in three months, so I had to run from my grandmother's house to my grandmother's house.

B: Just run!

A: If you want to brag, I'm no one better than me.

B: I don't believe it, do you dare to compete here?

A: Blowing here? No problem!

B: If you want to say that this is a lot of food, I can eat five bowls of noodles in one meal!

A: I can eat eight catties of dumplings in one meal!

B: Oops, I have a fever!

A: Oops, I have a fever too!

B: I covered a quilt when I went to bed at night, and when I saw it the next day, it burned a big hole!

A: When I went to bed at night, I had a handful of corn in my hand, and when I saw it the next day, it was all popcorn!

B: I'm taller than a tree!

A: I'm taller than a building!

B: I have my head up to the sky, my feet on the ground, and I can reach out to grab a big plane!

A: My upper lip is against the sky, and my lower lip is against the ground!

B: What about your face?

A: Shameless braggarts!

B: Hey! --