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Now the society is a relatively open era, all of them are highly educated people, and they are no longer treated with that kind of traditional thinking, and two people should better consider each other when they are together. I can accept such a request, after all, it is not too much, and the relationship between husband and wife is the most important. The child is shared by husband and wife, and the surname is the same as that of everyone, so there is no need to put too much pressure on yourself.
You can choose a better solution, such as two children, one child with the woman's surname, and one child with the man's surname, which is more perfect.
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The current society, wherever you go, is a male-dominated society. That is to say, men are seeds, women are fields, and the children born follow their father's surname, which follows the practice of patrilineal society, and also conforms to people's concepts, and no one can change it. Even if you recruit a son-in-law and give birth to a child, you must also leave a certain amount of leeway for the man.
Gave birth to two children, one for the man and one for the woman. Now there are many such cases, whether the man marries a daughter-in-law or becomes a son-in-law, he has two children, and this matter is very easy to solve. If you want to have a boy as the main surname, then have a few more until there are two boys, and ask the woman if she agrees.
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Animals have feelings, not to mention people, since both of them can come together and have children, both parties must be open to each other, that is, there are really feelings, and it doesn't matter whose surname you have, and it doesn't mean that the bride price determines whose surname the child has. This still depends on how deep the relationship between the two people is and how to negotiate. I also often meet children with their mother's surname!
Now it's not all a patriarchal society, everyone is equal, and the woman is not married for the man to inherit the lineage!
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Women think differently, different methods, he thinks that there are many benefits with the woman's surname, on the contrary, because the woman is married to the man, and the man's ancestors have the man's surname for eighteen generations, and there is no woman's surname, there is a problem here, when you are old, recognize the ancestors, and the ancestors do not recognize you, it is not easy to do, therefore, please some women think twice.
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If I were a woman, I wouldn't think like this, the daughter who got married spilled the water, since she married someone else, she regarded the new home as her home, her husband was the parent, and she was the deputy parent, and she still thought about her father, and gave her father an incense, wouldn't this not regard herself as a family member? If you are very self-conscious, you are afraid that you are useless, and you still have to be raised by an old man, and you still expect everything to be based on yourself, which is impossible.
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Under the influence of traditional Chinese culture, men are deeply domineering and regard children and their surnames as a very normal thing, and even in ancient times, when women married into men's families, not only children followed their surnames, but even their wives had to take the surname of their husbands, and their surnames were ranked behind. If as a man, your children don't have your surname, many elders in the family will think that you have committed a great unfilial piety, failed to pass on the family lineage, and are sorry for your ancestors and ancestors, etc. We can't say anything wrong with this traditional thinking, but if there is a situation of taking the mother's surname, it will be criticized a lot, and most of them think that it is normal to take the father's surname.
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The men who say they don't want to are men who don't have the conditions to beat up singles, and they regard face as more important than anything. These men already have the conditions to find a wife, why do they still agree to this humiliating condition? As the saying goes:
Face is given by others, but shame is lost by oneself. For the vast majority of men, this is a very humiliating thing, and, very clearly, why am I marrying you home? Am I just for sowing, am I a seeder?
Although, I do not deny, I like to sow seeds, but I prefer the fruits that are harvested after sowing.
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When a man gets married, he has to bear the main economic responsibility of the family, and he also has to mix in society, support his family for a lifetime, the pressure, responsibility, and burden are very great, and he can't even have his own children with his surname, what do you make me think, how do I mix in society, and what face do I have in front of my friends? What I need is a gentle and virtuous woman to live an ordinary life, the criteria for men to choose a mate have not changed for thousands of years, and a strong woman makes men afraid.
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Some people say that some people's concepts are still relatively outdated, and the average traditional family will not agree to such a request if it is made, because the man's family will feel that it is a more shameful thing. Although some family conditions are not very good, they are still more persistent in this regard, especially if there is only one boy in the family, the old man in the family would rather smash the pot and sell iron to raise money for his son to marry a daughter-in-law, rather than let the child go to the woman's house, in fact, this is the truth.
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For this reason. I'm divorced, and I don't know if it's right or wrong
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It is normal to ask a child with a woman's surname to get married.
Now they have two children, and there are more and more people who have one of them with their mother's surname. The main reason is that the previous generation was an only child, and each family had only one child. Now that the policy allows, it is emotionally easy to understand that one has a mother's surname.
But there are some who disagree, and the problem is:
First, if the conditions are put forward before marriage, the parents of the man's family will disagree, especially when getting married, if the woman asks the man for too much bride price, the man's family will be resentful.
The second reason is the traditional concept, the children follow the father's surname. In the past, a woman was "a woman who married out of the house, like water spilled out", and it had little to do with her mother's family, and her surname followed her husband's surname, not to mention her children.
The third is that the relationship between the two parents is not straightened out, and the man fails to do a good job for his parents, which will also lead to this situation.
How to deal with it:
First, the woman must do the man's work through, reach a united front, and then work together for the man's parents. Today's children have strong independence ability, and their parents' restraint on them is greatly reduced. In other words, as long as the children agree, the parents will generally respect their opinions, at least the coercion is not good.
Second, it is appropriate to come out before marriage, and take the initiative. If the man's parents do not agree, do not affect his marriage. Discuss it with the man and mention it to the man's parents before marriage.
When the second child was born, Shanghu wrote the woman's surname, and when the parents asked later, they said that they had said it at the beginning, which was a bit like cutting first and then playing. The key here is the man, if the woman is not at ease, she can write an agreement with the man privately and get the man's assurance. The promise will generally be fulfilled later, after all, it is two couples.
Third, the man's parents do not agree, the man does not agree, the relationship between the two people is good, they have to get married, then get married first, and the overall situation cannot be affected because of this little thing. Because there is another killer trick: when the child grows up, ask the child to change his surname.
There are very few children who don't listen to their mothers, and when the children grow up, it is estimated that their grandparents will not be able to control them, and perhaps by that time, some will no longer be alive.
This trick is the most effective, and there will always be a way to think about everything in the long run.
I wish you all the best!
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Personally, I don't think this way is too much, after all, it's a child of two people, and it's okay to have a surname with anyone, and some people may be for the sake of face, so they are reluctant to do it. Two people should know how to understand each other when they are together, calm down when they encounter things, talk with their hearts, understand each other's thoughts, and make the best solution. For example, you can consider having a second child, one with the man's name and the other with the woman's name, so that the problem is more reasonable.
When encountering things, do not take a quarrel to solve them, but should know how to listen, understand each other, and choose the best way to solve them.
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I don't know if your problem has been solved, my family doesn't want a penny dowry, my male ticket doesn't agree with the child and my family name, the eldest doesn't give it, the second child doesn't give it, and he says that if he gives the child, he is the son-in-law, unless he can't marry a wife... Personally, I think that children can live well with whomever surname. But my parents have been opposing, resolutely opposing, saying that they are not married yet, and they will not agree to the conditions, and when they get married in the future, I can't hold my head up...
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It's not too much, but some people's traditional concept will think that the child has the woman's surname, and the man has no face, and will be looked down upon by others, and will talk nonsense! But because of this, I get angry with you and mess with you, so I shouldn't be! Your man is a man who has no ability, no money, and still wants to save face, and he can't let go of his son, and he won't have much ability in the future!
After getting married. There should be many more things like this that will disappoint you, see for yourself!
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It's your attitude that disappoints him, As the saying goes, marry a chicken with a chicken and marry a dog with a dog, the Chinese custom is that the child has the man's surname, even if you marry in the past, the home you want to revitalize the family business will become the man's home, not your own home, your family's request, you don't think it's excessive, but as a man, this is a great shame, because of the disparity in financial resources, even your own children can't have their own surname, what is more insulting than this? In ancient times, the wives who married their hair, after passing the door, were all the surnames of their wives and husbands (now some big families still use them.) Please refer to Bo Gu Kailai, that is, the wife's surname and husband's surname) although there are very few now.
But it is right for the son to follow the father's surname, and there is also a woman in my family who strongly asks the child to follow her surname, but it didn't take long for rumors to spread, saying that the child belongs to the woman and the mother's family, you think about it yourself, you have to really love him. You have to integrate yourself into his position, because after you get married, you will be a member of his family, and all your efforts and hard work are for the family you and him are with. Think clearly.
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Whose surname to follow should not be a matter of insistence, and both sides can make concessions.
The house and bride price are not necessary if the man and woman really recognize each other.
The most important thing is, will the union of the two of you be happy in the future?
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I think if the woman asks the son to take the woman's surname, if the husband and wife have two children, then it is normal for a child to take the woman's surname, and a child to take the man's surname, so it is acceptable for everyone.
Because of the influence of family planning in the 80s, many people grew up in the field of thinking of having only one child, in this case, many families have only one child, so whether it is a boy or a girl, as the traditional concept of the parents' generation, they all hope to be able to succeed in the future generations, and there can be someone to continue their surname, so they will put forward the suggestion of letting the children's descendants follow the woman's sex, in fact, I think as long as there are two children, A child takes the man's last name, and a child follows the woman's surname, so that the problem can be completely solved.
Therefore, in the face of the issue of children and grandchildren, the husband and wife can already consider from the standpoint of both parties, and in order to meet the traditional ideological requirements of their parents, they can choose this compromise that is acceptable to each other, so that everyone can be happy.
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After marriage, the surname of the child does not necessarily have to be with the woman.
It is okay for the child's surname to follow the man or the woman, as long as the husband and wife discuss and reach a consensus.
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It can be decided by both parties through negotiation, and it is legal to follow both men and women.
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After marriage, the child's surname should be discussed between the woman or the man, and it is best to discuss it between the husband and wife.
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It's okay to have her surname, and the bride price is less or not given.
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Don't take the problem too seriously. The first name and last name are a symbol, as long as it is your child and living well. Those superficial things are fake.
You see, Jackie Chan is not surnamed Cheng or Chen, but his ID card is Chen Gangsheng; Lu Xun is not surnamed Lu, and has been called Lu by the Chinese for hundreds of years. Jackie Chan was on a whim, and his son had his father's surname again, what are you afraid of? As long as your son is willing, won't he and your grandson change back then?
If he doesn't want to, that's the junior's business, what is he doing! If you only have a surname, the baby is not your species, then it is unacceptable!
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If you encounter any problems between husband and wife, you should calm down and talk better to your heart, understand each other's true thoughts, and make the best solution. There is no clear rule on whose surname the child is, they are all their own children, and there is no need to make trouble because of this matter and affect the relationship between the two people. Now that the two-child policy has been relaxed, it is possible to consider having two of them, one with the man's surname and one with the woman's surname, which will be very perfect.
There is no knot that cannot be untied between husband and wife, talk carefully, and better empathize and understand each other's true thoughts.
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Summary. Hello, I am happy to answer for you, marriage and childbirth, the woman's family requires a child with the woman's surname, the child is born can be divorced, but only by agreement, the woman'<>s lawsuit for divorce or the court believes that the man's divorce request should be accepted when the woman is breastfeeding
What should I do if I get married and have a child, and the woman's family asks for a child with the woman's surname.
Kiss Hello Zhigao, I am very happy to answer for you, marriage and childbirth, the woman's family requires a child with the woman's surname, the child is born can be divorced, but only for divorce by agreement, divorce by litigation filed by the woman or the court believes that the divorce request made by the man in the woman's lactation should be accepted <>
Kissing Article 31 of the Marriage Law of the People's Republic of China, where both men and women of the Marriage Law voluntarily divorce, the divorce shall be granted. Both parties must apply for divorce at the marriage registration office. When the marriage registration authority ascertains that the wrongdoer is indeed voluntary and has properly dealt with the issue of children and financial allowances, it will issue a divorce certificate.
So if both parties to the child are divorced voluntarily when the child is born, they can go through the divorce procedures at the Civil Affairs Bureau by mutual divorce and divorce <>
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