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Love is always good, life is always tortuous, at the moment you do not have a formal marital relationship, so the most important thing now is to determine one thing, whether he loves you or not, whether he wants to spend his life with you, if yes, then you need to understand that there are four kinds of tasks for you: assisting your husband, honoring your in-laws, educating your children and managing housekeeping. People have strengths, and you should let your future mother-in-law see your strengths and have a heart-to-heart conversation with her.
Talk to your boyfriend about the reason for the generation gap between you and his mom and why he has that attitude, and discuss how to solve it. If that doesn't work, it's best to separate as soon as possible.
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To some extent, we have to admit the reality of being the right person. I have been dating my previous boyfriend for 6 years, and I am also a baby of my parents at home, and I am not allowed to do anything, but after being with him, I do all the housework, including my period, I do it, he doesn't help at all, and sometimes he throws a tantrum at me. In the end, we broke up.
Two people must be considerate of each other when they are together, your boyfriend can see from the other side that he doesn't feel sorry for you at all, if he is really a man, he will play a round between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and he will not let the relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be so stiff. Think about it. In the future, if you get married and have children, you will not be allowed to be taken care of by your parents-in-law, and with your current situation, it will be even more troublesome at that time.
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Alas, the sorrow of being uprooted! Is his home his own? If it doesn't work, it's better to live separately.
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It is recommended to communicate with your boyfriend more often, and if it doesn't work, you might as well give up, so as not to be more uncomfortable in the future.
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It's difficult, it seems that you have to completely change yourself to adapt to your mother-in-law's requirements. If you can convince your husband to leave your mother-in-law to live alone, that's fine.
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Hey, are you lucky or unlucky......
Met such a man, unfortunately his family is distressing you, fortunately you are not married. So now it's up to you to decide.
1. Due to the difference in life background, it is difficult to change the personality of your boyfriend's family, especially your future mother-in-law.
Second, in that environment, your boyfriend will not be on your side every time, because his mother's requirements for you are all for him.
3. After living in that environment for a long time, you will gradually adapt to it and gradually become that kind of person.
Now it's up to you to decide, to see what kind of life you want, to see how much you love that man and how much you can endure it.
As an aside, I am married, and I am currently happily married, and I made it clear before marriage that I would not look for someone from other places.
Another thing I'm curious about is why don't you look at your family's opinions, that's what will help you the most.
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It's up to you what you think. You have to love him truly, and it's worth it. You shouldn't blame your mother-in-law for not liking you, why don't you want to think about it, if you don't have anything to say about what you do, then your mother-in-law is not good to talk about you, that's your mother-in-law's business.
What does your husband say? Talking about you is not good, you are angry, talking about your mother-in-law is not good, your mother-in-law is angry, he only has nothing to say. If he did, it is estimated that the relationship would be even worse.
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Family disharmony can put a lot of stress on individuals and families. If most of your husband's family is not able to get along, then you need to do something to improve the situation.
First of all, you should communicate with your husband to understand his thoughts and situations, empathize with him and build a relationship of mutual trust. Understand the thoughts and feelings of both parties on the matter, and then choose your own position and communicate with your husband in a rational way.
Secondly, it is necessary to identify the person who will dredge with the contradictory party. This person may be a parent, relative, friend, etc., or find an impartial and neutral person to help with the coordination. When you are talking to the other party, be sure to remain calm and try to understand the other person's position and point of view.
Next, make sure to be patient when you talk to the opposing party. Be considerate of each other's position and situation so that they can better understand each other. It takes time and patience to solve the problem, and you need to respect the other person's thoughts and feelings, and try to avoid hurtful and offensive language.
Also, avoid projecting feelings into things. Sometimes, conflicts are misunderstandings and conflicts that arise due to poor communication. Be aware that you don't have to let your feelings get involved in this situation, be rational and deal with things in a peaceful way.
Finally, if none of the above methods can improve the situation, you can seek help from a professional psychologist or counselor. They will be able to give more in-depth psychological analysis and advice to help you solve your problems. In addition, it is also a good choice for family members to participate in family psychological counseling classes, which will help to clear conflicts and achieve family harmony.
In conclusion, solving the problems of kinship such as mother-in-law and daughter-in-law requires patience, calmness, rationality and perseverance, and can try to reach the final compromise through communication, appropriate counseling, finding common ground, etc., and finally achieve harmony by creating a friendly and friendly family atmosphere.
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Distance produces beauty, separate living.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be resolved by the husband.
1.The relationship between the wife and the mother-in-law is a social relationship, the husband and the mother-in-law are blood relations, the treasures who enter the marriage must understand the meaning of this, how is it in the mother-in-law's house, it all depends on how much the man who marries you protects you, if you have a conflict with his mother, he repeatedly does not bite the word, or protects his mother in disguise, you have to carefully consider what kind of way to deal with your relationship with your mother-in-law, the influence of the mother-in-law in many families is greater than what you can see, see how you operate, you can bend and stretch.
2.In fact, while fairness is important, affection is even more important. If the son does not understand this, it often makes the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more strained.
In fact, how is a homeschooling for a family? It is largely reflected in the son's body. In the relationship between the son-in-law and the daughter-in-law, he must not only treat people fairly, but also be affectionate and righteous, and the key lies in his own intelligence and literacy, especially his special role to coordinate.
3.Of course, it is natural to respect the elders, but the juniors also have the right to refuse. We must not rely on the old to sell the old, relying on our old age and experience, interfering too much in the private lives of the juniors, and forcing them to do things according to their own wishes.
Summary: Don't let your woman not divorce just for the sake of the child because of the poor handling of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, that is an unhealthy family, and it will not give the child real happiness and happiness.
It will only make the wife have the idea of "no matter how stupid her mother-in-law is bullying", the man is the pillar and the core of the family, if you want a stable and harmonious family relationship, a good man is indispensable!
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Personally, I think that if you have such an idea of wanting to work, no one should stop you, because everyone can't stay at home every day and repeat one thing, they will have their own hobbies, their own pursuits, only through work to complete their own posture, if the family does not understand or the mother-in-law obstructs you, you can first communicate and exchange with your husband, say your thoughts, you let your husband understand your thoughts, by doing the husband's ideological work, let him and his mother-in-law have a good talk, Try to reach an agreement.
Personally, I think that a person should also have his own work and life hobbies after getting married, and he can't put all his time on the family, which is also unfair and unfair to a woman, if you have the idea to work outside, realize your own value, have better pursuit and contact, more friends, this is a normal need, if your mother-in-law doesn't understand you, you should first have a good chat with him, say what you think, choose some milder ways, so that the other party can agree with your thoughts.
But if the mother-in-law resolutely disagrees, don't go to the front, which will make the contradiction more and more intense, the harmony of the family lies in mutual tolerance and tolerance, appropriate concession is not a bad thing, not because you are cowardly, but you want to make the family more harmonious, so since the mother-in-law can not accept such a thing as you go out to work, then you can slow down first, find the right time and then communicate with the mother-in-law, I think as long as the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is harmonious, After a while, he will also accept the idea that you want to go out to work.
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Getting along with her husband's family after marriage is a problem that many new wives need to face. I also have some experiences and ideas of my own:
First of all, I choose to have a deeper understanding and contact with my husband's family before getting married. Premarital interactions can give both parties a more comprehensive and accurate understanding of each other, which will lay the foundation for future relationships. I would take the initiative to ask about my husband's family and express my desire to be a part of the family.
This can bring everyone closer to the psychological expectations of the hall and avoid a large gap after marriage.
Secondly, in the early days of marriage, I will participate in various activities of my husband's family as much as possible. Take the initiative to have more communication and exchange with family members at the level of life. Let my husband's family gradually see my sincerity in wanting to be a member of this family, and enhance mutual understanding and affection.
Sharing life is the best way to get closer, and I will take practical actions to show my kindness.
Again, when faced with differences of opinion, I will choose to give in. As a new wife, it is not appropriate to express your overly strong views in her husband's family. This can make the differences in opinions between the old and new families appear sharp and disrupt the harmonious atmosphere.
I will discuss this with my husband in private, and it will be up to him to decide whether or not to communicate further with his family. Appropriate concessions can avoid escalating conflicts, which also requires the wisdom of the new daughter-in-law.
Finally, I will care for my husband's family in my life and provide substantial help. To be one, we need to support each other in every aspect of our lives. I will take the initiative to ask about my family's current situation and provide practical help when needed, which can make everyone feel my sincerity and enthusiasm.
The care of life is an effective means of bringing feelings closer.
Therefore, to get along well with her husband's home oak people, the new daughter-in-law needs to put in more effort. enhance understanding through premarital contact; Take the initiative to participate in various activities after marriage and show sincerity in life; make appropriate concessions to avoid escalation of contradictions; Care and support in life as a whole. It takes time and understanding, but it is only through the sharing of life that the feelings for each other can be deepened day by day.
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If you quarrel, calm down first, and then be reasonable, which is acceptable to both parties.
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Hello friend. For some families, the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is also inevitable. In fact, the family is a system, and the men in the family will definitely be influenced by their daughters-in-law and mothers.
However, in general, dealing with family problems is not a man's specialty. Here are a few ways to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you might as well give it a try.
In the traditional Chinese family, it is basically "the male is the outside, the female is inside", and men do not take the handling of family relationships as their life goals, so when improving family relationships, men are prone to encounter all kinds of thorny problems, leading to the cause of mental illness.
Today's young couples in urban areas, who are mostly only children, are often self-centered and lack frustration education for men, making it difficult and confusing for them to think about dealing with complex family relationships. And in this society, everyone has more and less pressure. If a person is too psychologically fragile and easily frustrated, it is natural that when the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense, it is easy to use negative methods such as avoidance and self-harm to solve it.
For the husband caught in the middle, the advice of the psychologist is to be busy outside the home, which will help the career success, but the lead shed needs to spend some time to lubricate the family relationship. With a good family relationship as a "logistical support", the career will develop more smoothly.
Don't speak for a man who can't speak, especially on the occasion of family gatherings, don't be open-mouthed, the wife says that the mother-in-law is not good, the mother complains that the daughter-in-law is not filial, it is just from the nature of the woman to complain, listen to it and it will pass, if you take it seriously, if it is passed on from both ends, or just say that it is pure self-inflicted, nothing to look for.
If you want to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you must be a careful man, you must prepare gifts for festivals or birthdays, don't think about greed, you must give it to the elders in the name of your wife, the old people are to be coaxed, and if your wife is stingy, you must be more generous for her.
The wife is your own choice, you have to trust her, the most important thing is to understand her, what happens to think about her temperament, a woman Huai Shed married into a strange family alone, only you are her dependence, so do your best to protect her, the old man is inevitably stubborn when he is old, and the daughter-in-law is angry with the old man, so you don't want to be angry with her.
When something happens in your family, no matter whose fault it is, you have to come out and bear it as soon as possible, after all, blood is thicker than water, and the old man will not see you when he is angry, but once you shirk your responsibility, it must be your daughter-in-law who is unlucky, and there will be more complaints about a so-called outsider and an old man.
The so-called filial piety comes first, the starting point is to think more about the elderly, the wife must be coaxed, as a daughter-in-law, she must also learn to understand the elderly, otherwise the old man has worked hard all his life and has no reason to whisper to please you.
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