What are the injuries caused by your family of origin?

For life and family, I have two different feelings, the first is to be grateful, grateful to my parents for giving me this opportunity to come to the world to see its colorful, but there is also a feeling that I always think that a large part of my unsatisfactory today is due to my original family. I know that there is a suspicion of shirking responsibility, but I just want to use it to illustrate the impact of the family of origin on a person's life.

When a child is born, it is like a blank piece of paper, what is written on this blank paper, which will affect the way he perceives the world in the future, it is a pity that it is easy to write things on this blank paper, but it is very difficult to erase it, what kind of family was born in, what kind of parents have largely determined what our personality development is, when one day I find that my heart is not strong enough, my understanding is not extensive enough, and my three views are not correct enough. I will subjectively associate this with the influence of the original family on me, because the growth of children is obtained through the cognitive environment, the cultivation of world view, and the judgment of values all come from the communication with parents and the things that the original family comes into contact with.

My father pursued the educational concept of filial piety under the stick, I grew up in a domestic violence environment since I was a child, my father never used anything from fists and feet to wooden sticks, I was afraid of my father, this way of beating and scolding did not educate a social elite, but got an ordinary and mediocre person without any self-angular and creative creativity, this is my growth, there is very little conversation between me and my father, between us is often an order, there is no possibility of communication at all, I've always thought that this kind of domestic violence was a major factor in my failure today, and of course there may be an element of extremism here, but I can't correct my opinion.

To sum up, my father's incorrect way of educating me has caused me a lot of harm.

My dad is a very strict kind, and he will be angry at every turn because of his sloppy questions, and even the method is not simple, and he is particularly macho, and he always loses his temper at home, which makes me feel that the family has no temperature.

1. They are selfish and don't give to me, but they want to get something in return from me. 2. The lack of maternal love and father's love since childhood, and the lack of care and care have led to my current cold-blooded and ruthless character.

Makes me very lonely. Because I don't like it. There are many people, and I like to be alone in one place and think about it. Because I feel uncomfortable with multiple people together.

In the family of origin, when parents deny their children, children are not recognized and respected. When parents are controlling their children, they are not accepted and respected.

Some parents will directly push their children into a difficult situation and let him face many difficulties alone, such as helping parents take care of their families, taking care of their own emotions, etc. At this time, the child lacks support and help. When he grows up, he may especially crave a strong and powerful person to give him a harbor.

Perfectionism: Forcing children to do more than they can do, people who grow up in this kind of family are emotionally anxious and their behavior is compulsive. Even if a child can do many things, he is anxious and nervous, and if he can't do it, he will feel inferior and depressed.

Children raised in such a family are very easy to think that it is their own fault that things are not done well, and they are prone to low self-esteem and timidity.

Excessive spoiling: unprincipled compromise, allowing children to act exactly according to their own intentions, spoiled children are willful, have means, and will do things when parents do not meet his requirements, often self-centered, spoiled children, empty inside. I often use anger to control others, so there is a lot of anger.

1. Perfectionist family:

Parents demand perfection too much, always let the child complete some things they can't accomplish, under such high-intensity pressure, will make the child's heart become very anxious, and even will be pathological to pursue perfection, in the face of setbacks, will produce unconfident or inferior emotions, not easy to accept failure, and even will do whatever it takes to win.

2. Overdoting families:

Nowadays, the family conditions are getting better and better, the child is the baby of the whole family, many parents will spoil their children very much, but excessive spoiling of children will make children self-centered, and there are also great defects in dealing with people.

3. Overprotective family:

Too much protection for children is also a situation that families are prone to nowadays, but too much protection also has a great impact on children. It will make the child become less independent, not confident enough, etc.! Doing everything is intimidating and has a great impact on a child's development.

4. Families who are excessively punished:

We in China believe in the best sticks out of good people, and families who like excessive punishment actually have a denial attitude towards the psychology of their children, they will constantly deny themselves, and they will not be confident enough in the later stage.

5. Children are never allowed to express their own opinions, only parents say. Extroverts will rebel if they are high-pressured, and if their parents continue to be high-pressure, children.

Children are never allowed to express their opinions, only parents say. Extroverts will rebel against high pressure, and if their parents continue to be high pressure, children may behave deviantly when they grow up, and use stubbornness to protect themselves and use them to fight. Introverts are pressured and will retreat inside, which is more dangerous.

The reason why the family of origin hurts people is because the family of origin does not have enough love.

It would be unfair to the vast majority of parents if they did not give a little love. Parents give love, but they don't give enough love, so they cause harm.

What is enough love? Enough love is not overflowing love. Enough love refers to the love that can support the healthy growth of the child.

Just like food, children need enough food to support their physical health as they grow. In the same way, the child needs enough love to support his personality growth.

Love is not always better. Just like food, you think your child should eat more, but in fact eating more than his body needs, it can be harmful to his health. You think you have given a lot of love, too much attention, but the child loses his freedom.

Overprotection, on the contrary, loses the opportunity to learn from setbacks. was worried that he would take a detour, but it suppressed part of his growth.

What children need is not a lot of love, but precise love. Imprecise love can cause harm by missing the kind of love that is really needed.

Love is to value, accept, respect, recognize, support, help, protect, concern, understand, accompany ......Children need different kinds of love at different times.

The original family injury is the negative impact of the family environment in which you live, including physical and physical, specifically refers to the fact that your parents and grandparents do not get along very well, and they have spent almost a child in quarrels, or grew up in violence, so such a family may cause certain damage to your body, such as often being treated with violence, and the damage to your soul may make you feel inferior, depressed or psychologically distorted, causing your abnormal world view and marriage concept, These are the effects of the bad behavior of the original family, so you still need to pay more attention.

For example, if there is more than one child in the family, but one of them is usually favoritized, this is a kind of family injury to the other child.

1. Perfectionist family:

Parents demand perfection too much, always let children complete some things they can't accomplish, under such high-intensity pressure, will make children's hearts become very anxious, and even will be pathological to pursue perfection, in the face of setbacks, there will be no confidence or inferiority complex, not easy to accept failure, and even will do whatever it takes to win!

2. Overdoting families:

Nowadays, the family conditions are getting better and better, the child is the baby of the whole family, many parents will spoil the child very much, but excessive spoiling of the child will make the child self-centered, in terms of dealing with the world, there are also great defects, this defect is difficult to be healed!

3. Overprotective family:

Too much protection for children is also a situation that families are prone to nowadays, but too much protection also has a great impact on children. It will make the child become less independent, not confident enough, etc.! Doing everything is intimidating and has a great impact on a child's development.

4. Families who are excessively punished:

We in China believe in the best sticks out of good people, and families who like excessive punishment actually have a denial attitude towards the psychology of their children, they will constantly deny themselves, and they will not be confident enough in the later stage. I even keep telling myself, "I'm bad, I'm wrong, I deserve it." ”

5. Overly busy family.

Busy families are also more common now, parents because of work, so can not take good care of children, so it will have a great impact on the child's psychology, so the children of such a family will generally show anxiety, withdrawn emotions!

6. Indifferent family.

Parents' emotions, children can feel more intuitively, if parents show indifference to their children, it will make the child's psychology become relatively distorted, otherwise there will be some autism, and when there is a problem, it will also choose an indifferent way to solve it!

7. Single-parent families.

The impact of divorced families on children is very great, not growing up in a sound family, children will grow up insecure, distrustful of feelings, the same, because of the relationship between parents, so they will not be very sincere in their marriage! Make marriage a game-like existence.

8. Families with bad parental relationships.

Children are the crystallization of their parents' love, and if the relationship between parents is not good, it will affect the intimacy between children and parents, and such children are easy to go to extremes and have no sense of security.

9. Families without good role models.

A child's growth directly depends on the family environment, if there is nothing to do all day, or there is nothing serious to do, then the impact on the child is also great, and it will also make the child more and more lazy.

<> "The Harm Caused by the Family of Origin.

10 Signs of Having Been Hurt by Your Family of Origin)

The family of origin refers to the family that we have been raised since childhood, with parents, brothers and sisters, "The impact of the family of origin on a person is long-term and profound. "Have you ever been hurt by your family of origin? 10 Signs of Having Been Hurt by Your Family of Origin! Hopefully you don't.

1.Emotional instability: People who usually grow up with violent emotions from their parents experience more extreme emotions and have a hard time calming down. Emotions erupt randomly and are difficult to control.

2.Giving personality: Never received the unconditional love of parents, and will try to make up for the regrets of the past by nourishing others, so they will pay too much for others and make themselves very tired.

3.Low self-esteem: Children who are often criticized and belittled by their parents tend to become sensitive, pessimistic, and unconfident after a long time, and have a low self-esteem, always feeling that they are not good enough.

4.Always suppress your emotions: When you were a child, you were not noticed by your parents on the bench, or every time you expressed your needs, your parents always said that you were not sensible. After a long time, children are reluctant to express themselves to their parents, and they are used to being cautious, suppressing themselves, and holding everything in their hearts.

5.Aggressive: People who have been violently harmed by their parents, are irritable, show hostility towards others, abuse animals, etc.

6.Hardly any friends: People who have been emotionally hurt as children often lack social skills or are afraid to socialize, do not like to socialize, and always isolate themselves from others, with few friends around them.

The more essential reason is that you have been hurt and are unwilling to open the door of your heart.

7.Thoughts of wanting to escape: People who have been emotionally hurt by their parents often feel very helpless, and even have the idea of wanting to escape from their parents and life.

8.People-pleasing personality and desire for recognition: People who have been accustomed to pleasing their parents since childhood, and who look at their parents' faces, will also be accustomed to pleasing and pleasing others in exchange for peace when they grow up; I care a lot about what others say about me, and I want to be recognized by others.

9.Pessimistic and misanthropic: Children who have been belittled and ridiculed by their parents since they were young are easy to see their own goodness, become very pessimistic and sensitive, and do not believe in the beauty of life. I often feel that life is not interesting, and when I encounter difficulties, I feel that it would be better if I died.

10.Guilt: Parents often say to their children "I am all for your good" and "I am really raised for nothing" and other moral kidnapping, which will make the child feel a deep sense of guilt in his heart, and feel that the people around him have a hard time because of their own reasons.

Although you have been influenced by your original family, in the final analysis, you are still responsible for your own life, and you must love yourself.