What are the characteristics of a people pleasing personality?

The obvious trait of the people-pleasing personality is that it is sensitive, and this type of person is always very sensitive to the needs of others. People with a people-pleasing personality are very quarrelsome with others or have any conflicts.

1. Since childhood, the people around me have been better and superior than themselves, and in order to find a sense of existence, they are willing to revolve around others. 2. I feel that the people around me don't like me, and I need to please others or do something to be recognized by others.

The people-pleasing personality means that he wants to do more actions to get the other party to be recognized by him, and he may give up some of his principles and ideas to accommodate others, hoping to leave some good impressions in the hearts of others.

The people-pleasing personality refers to the personality that blindly pleases others and ignores one's own feelings, which is an unhealthy psychological state.

A people-pleasing personality is a personality that pleases others while ignoring one's own feelings, and is a potentially unhealthy pattern of behavior, not a personality disorder. ”

Dou Wentao: How many characteristics of "people-pleasing personality" have you hit?

What are the characteristics of a people-pleasing personality? 1.Don't know how to refuse other people's requests.

Fear of rejecting others will make others dissatisfied and affect the evaluation of others around them. I try to say "no", but I always feel a strong sense of guilt after saying that.

2.Caring too much about other people's eyes and ignoring their own feelings.

I have low self-esteem and am afraid of being negatively evaluated by others. At the same time, I am afraid of bothering others, and I am afraid that others will annoy me. Chats are often withdrawn, not knowing if they will disturb others.

I am afraid to express my true feelings, I am afraid that my immature ideas will be disgusting, and I am also worried that I will be isolated from the group.

3.He is very sensitive to the emotional changes of those around him.

When chatting, if a friend doesn't reply to text messages for a long time, he will repeatedly think about why the other party doesn't reply, whether he has said the wrong thing, and falls into a fearless entanglement.

4.I like to compromise when I encounter things, and I am used to finding problems only in myself.

When I encounter an embarrassing scene, I feel that it must be my own problem. I like to apologize and get away quickly. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong, I always like to handle it this way.

5.If you have emotions, you will only digest them silently.

Having emotions will only be buried in your heart, and you are afraid that sharing your true emotions will affect what others think of you. Desire but inability to build intimacy with others.

6.Get used to pleasing others.

In his dealings with others, he always deliberately panders to please others, and even gives up his principles and bottom line to conform to the other party. I obviously hate these behaviors of myself, but I still want to be cheeky and blend in with everyone.

The following is a detailed analysis of the personality characteristics of the people-pleasing personality -

1. Be good at discovering the desires and needs of the other party - growing up in the "white terror" in the living environment, afraid of being blamed and blamed by people with paranoid personalities, and pinning their own blame on the satisfaction of the other party's desires and needs, while people with paranoid personalities feel that you exaggerate your feelings;

2. Habitually accept other people's requests and don't know how to refuse - once, because of refusal, he suffered, and in the long run, the self-protection mechanism told him that accepting the least harm was suffered. In other words, even if he doesn't want to accept it, he can make up what the paranoid personality in his heart will do to him if he doesn't accept it.

3. Good temper, good man, but inner struggle - because many people with a pleasing personality grow up in a living environment accompanied by a paranoid personality of the superior (elder, leader or irreversible person in the same generation), so they are very afraid of conflict. As mentioned earlier, the activation of the self-protection mechanism told him that only by "valuing peace" can he "turn hostility into peace". But in fact, there are turbulent waves in my heart, or tears are pouring out.

4. Desire to be rewarded - because they have been in the "white terror" for a long time, they are especially eager for the other party to be aware of their own needs and hope to get a sense of security. However, the paranoid personality is precisely suspicious and repetitive, so he always does not get the satisfaction of his sense of security. Therefore, in interpersonal interactions, he is often overly enthusiastic and sincere, which is not hypocritical, but just a desire to get from others the feelings that he has lost but have not gained.

To sum up, this kind of personality does not need to be overly vigilant at the beginning of its appearance, it is a defense mechanism of its own psychology. In a situation where the surroundings make oneself uncomfortable, a kind of self-emotional fine-tuning. It is true that you will find that you have wronged yourself and fulfilled others, but in a sense, this kind of personality makes it easier for you to discover other people's thoughts and requirements, and it is easier to capture other people's desires.

Therefore, the transformation of the people-pleasing personality naturally has two directions, one is that emotional intelligence is becoming more and more outstanding, knowing one's own thoughts, and striving to break the cage that once bound oneself; The other is to become sensitive, suspicious, fragile and timid, and the word to cover it is cowardice.

First, the internal friction is serious.

Man's greatest consumption does not come from the overdraft of intelligence or physical strength, nor from the struggle with nature, but from his own war against himself. Due to the trauma of interpersonal relationships when I was a child, after growing up, as long as I interact with others, I will have feelings such as inferiority, humiliation, and guilt, so I am unwilling to deal with people and feel very tired.

2. Difficulty entering into intimate relationships.

I always feel that I am not perfect enough, and I always want to wait until I reach a certain standard before entering the relationship. Afraid of being seen by the other party as unconfident, he often disguises his true self in intimate relationships. is particularly insecure.,Often deny each other and find fault with each other because of the other party's small problems.。

I can't show my true side, so it's hard to make a deep connection with the other person.

3. People-pleasing personality.

In order to be a "good person" in the eyes of others, he will blindly agree to the other party's request. When I came back to my senses, I was entangled and annoyed in my heart, why did I agree to the other party, and I wanted to refuse and felt guilty. On the surface, it seems that he is a "good person", but in fact it is an internal cowardice.

Fundamentally, their "ego" is weak, they are afraid of being that outlier, and they always need to look outward for approval, so it is always difficult to refuse the demands of others.

Fourth, they are often asked to be sensible.

Since childhood, my parents often quarrel and divorce, or I grew up in a single-parent family, or my family members are sick, and I grew up in a turbulent environment and have no sense of security. As a result, when you grow up, you will be cautious in how you behave, and sometimes you will even be "overly polite", for fear that others will misunderstand because of your own negligence. Caring too much about others often neglects oneself.

Because he did not live out his "aggression" in the environment he grew up, he often attacked himself inward.

5. Excessive anxiety.

When you are praised, you feel deserved. When you hear your own negative comments, you will feel flustered, you will not analyze the problem, and you will feel that the other party is denying you. When this emotion becomes more and more hail, it will enter another extreme, and you will set a higher standard for yourself, and if you don't do it in real life, you will be overly anxious.

After a long time, you will feel inferior, depressed, and even lead to depression after a long time.

The people-pleasing personality is a common personality trait characterized by a tendency to feel safe and accepted by pleasing others. Characteristics of this personality type include:

Pay attention to your image in the eyes of others and want others to like you.

Tends to please others too much and is sensitive to the needs of others.

Low self-esteem and easy to feel like you're not good, useful, or popular enough.

It is easy to be infected by others, and it is difficult to assert one's own positions and opinions.

Prone to fear, anxiety, and restlessness, especially in social situations.

There may be a tendency to be dependent, and it is easy to put one's own happiness and security on others.

It's important to note that a people-pleasing personality doesn't mean that people of this personality type are hypocritical, or insincere. Many people with a people-pleasing personality genuinely want to make the people around them happy, and they also work hard to maintain relationships. However, focusing too much on the thoughts and feelings of others can sometimes lead people with a people-pleasing personality to ignore their own needs and feelings, or even sacrifice their own interests when it is not in their favor.

Hello, the psychological characteristics of the people-pleasing personality: 1Pay special attention to the opinions of others.

The starting point of everything is what other people will think, whether they will think that I am bad and don't like me. 2.Doesn't turn people down.

Even if you don't like it, even if you're busy as a dog, you can't say no. 3.Susceptible.

Pay special attention to the performance of others, be keenly aware of other people's emotions, and associate them with themselves. 4.Don't dare to express your true self.

I think I have more shortcomings, I am more afraid of conflict in interpersonal communication, I pursue harmony, and I don't want to express different opinions. 5.Particularly sensitive to criticism from others, compliments from others will be considered polite.

<> "Five Characteristics of the People-Pleasing Personality and See if You Are You."

Are you a people-pleaser? 5 characteristics of a people-pleasing personality.

1.He is particularly sensitive to the feelings of others, always keenly aware of the needs and emotional changes of others, and is always ready to satisfy the other party, for fear that the other party will not like what he has done.

2.There is no ego, always arguing and arguing, psychologically involuntarily elevating others, belittling yourself, putting your own needs in the lowest position, what you like is what I like is the common problem of pleasing people.

3.It's hard to say no to someone, it's hard to refuse someone's request, even if you can't do it yourself. Fear that once you say no, your relationship with someone else will break down.

4.Excessive fear of conflict with others, instinctively to avoid conflict with others, always thinking about themselves taking a step back when encountering conflicts, whether they are doing something wrong, or forget it, stop arguing, and be friends in the future", is a question they have always been thinking about.

5.Lack of boundaries and principles, do everything for the purpose of pleasing others, not only can not keep the boundaries of their own lives, but also accidentally break through the boundaries of others.

1.There are no healthy personal boundaries.

One sign of having clear personal boundaries is being firm enough. They know they have the right to say no, they know what they can and can't accept, and they respect others and protect themselves. Conversely, pleasers who lack healthy boundaries don't say "no."

For example, it is difficult to refuse too much intervention and intervention in one's life by parents because of "fear that their parents will be unhappy".

2.Extremely bad at making decisions.

People-pleasers are always speculating about "what the other person wants to hear" before making a decision, so it is extremely difficult for them to make independent choices. After all, they can't always guess the right choice that suits each other's hearts, and they are afraid that they will choose what the other party is not happy with. Words like "It's okay, I'm okay" and "Just pick what you like" are often on the lips of pleasers.

3.Won't ask for help.

Pleasers are always afraid that they will "trouble" others, and they will be "troubled" by others all day long. When they are forced to need help, they also feel guilty and guilty.

4.I lived as someone else and lost myself.

People-pleasers who spend a lot of time focusing on what others want and like often struggle to live by their own values. They will always struggle between what they want to do and what others want them to do. The people-pleaser has too much time to please others, and they have no time to take care of the people and things that are truly meaningful to them.

Most of them are related to their upbringing, if they have been hurt in the process of interpersonal communication when they were young, bullied, and isolated and guessed, it is easy to form a people-pleasing personality, and in their immature cognition, they will think that "if I satisfy others, they will treat me as a friend and will not bully me anymore." "From the inside, people with a people-pleasing personality crave to be cared for and loved, and because they lack too much care, they use what they think is an effective way to gain the attention and kindness of others.

There is a lack of inner desire, there will be a thirst, the pleasing personality is a true portrayal of this mentality, their hearts are not mature, a sense of self-evaluation and Wu grip positioning are from the outside world, they are not confident in themselves, do not have the courage to refuse, do not have the courage to face growth by themselves, always eager to cling to some people, access their resources and friendship.