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The people-pleasing personality means that he wants to do more actions to get the other party to be recognized by him, and he may give up some of his principles and ideas to accommodate others, hoping to leave some good impressions in the hearts of others.
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The obvious trait of the people-pleasing personality is that it is sensitive, and this type of person is always very sensitive to the needs of others. People with a people-pleasing personality are very quarrelsome with others or have any conflicts.
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A people-pleasing personality is a personality that pleases others while ignoring one's own feelings, and is a potentially unhealthy pattern of behavior, not a personality disorder. ”
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The people-pleasing personality refers to the personality that blindly pleases others and ignores one's own feelings, which is an unhealthy psychological state.
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The formation and redemption of the people-pleasing personality, are you still pleasing others?
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I think that the "people-pleasing personality" is generally caused by the family of origin.
People with a "pleasing personality" generally appear as a "good person" in life, always blindly catering to others, belittling themselves, showing very little self-confidence, and needing to be recognized by others before they feel affirmed. There are many factors that contribute to the emergence of this personality, including family factors, social factors, and school factors. But it mostly depends on the family of origin.
1. What is a "people-pleasing personality"?
The people-pleasing personality is an extremely unconfident personality, and everything can only be done with the consent of others, or when others are happy. If others are not sure about his actions, then they will not continue to do so. Because he feels that in this way, others will not look down on him and dislike him, so that he can feel steady in his heart, and only then can he have enough security to face people and things.
So in life, he will be careful everywhere, dare not offend people, always cater to others and please others. People with this personality tend to live a very tiring life, because they have to disguise themselves every day.
2. The main reason for the emergence of this personality is the family of origin.
So why is there a "people-pleasing personality"?I think it has a lot to do with his family of origin. There are many people who are young because their parents require them to meet the conditions before they can give them some love or reward, and over time children will form this "pleaser" character.
Children do not dare to express their inner thoughts, and can only get the affirmation of their parents by disguising themselves. As long as parents affirm their children in this way, children will try again and again, and when they reach adulthood and enter society, they will also treat the people and things around them with such a personality.
3. Other factors.
Of course, this personality does not depend solely on the family of origin. There are some other factors, which have been mentioned above are school factors, social factors, etc. For example, in school or society, there are all people who are better than themselves, so they will find ways to please others and please themselves, so that they can stand in this group of excellent people.
All in all, this personality is not formed suddenly at a certain time, but is the result of a long-term situation.
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Parents are strict with their children's education, and if they constantly criticize and hit their children, children will lose their self-esteem and self-confidence, so they like to please others and put themselves in a socially inferior position.
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The formation of a people-pleasing personality is often due to low self-esteem and the desire to gain self-confidence through the attitude of others. Their self-acceptance is low and they are unable to establish an objective and good self-perception in the inner world.
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It is very likely that he has not been valued by his parents since he was a child, and in order to attract the attention of his parents, children will try their best to please their parents, and this kind of character will be formed when they grow up.
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The original family with a bad relationship between parents, frequent quarrels, and a cold war
Family atmosphere has a great impact on children, if the relationship between parents is not good and often quarrels, the child will feel very insecure, he will even take the fault of the parents' discord on himself, feel that he is not good, parents will often quarrel and fight, and this will make the child have a sense of guilt and fear.
likes to threaten and hit the child's family of origin
Children's self-control and comprehension skills are worse, so it is inevitable that they will make mistakes and be disobedient. But many parents often don't have this patience, and when they get angry, they can't help but threaten or even hit their children, hoping that their children will be obedient and not cause trouble. When children need encouragement and comfort, they get blows and threats, and children in this kind of family are more likely to develop a pleasing personality.
Families where parents are partial or neglect their children
Children naturally crave the love of their parents, some parents are always busy, ignoring their children, some children will resent their parents, but some children, will always long. will even do some deliberate behavior to please their parents, hoping to get some care and attention, and children in this kind of family are more likely to develop a pleasing personality. In addition, in two-child or multi-child families, those children who are neglected under the partiality of their parents are also prone to develop a pleasing personality.
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The main reason for the formation of a people-pleasing personality is that they are not confident enough. In general, people with this personality are extremely unconfident. So they really want others to recognize themselves.
Or even accept yourself. Because they feel that they are out of place with others, whether at work or at school, so in order to make others accept them, they will take the initiative to please others, even in the process of pleasing others, they feel that they have been wronged, and they will not take the initiative to speak out. On the contrary, I feel that as long as others can like me, then it is okay for me to suffer a little grievance.
But in fact, the more you try to please others, the more others will look down on you. So people with this kind of personality are also very distressed every day, because they have tried very hard to please others, but others still refuse to accept them. So they're going to be very distressed about it.
People with a people-pleasing personality tend to be very mindful of what others think of them. If they know that someone is saying bad things about them behind their backs, then they will feel very unhappy and even distressed. Then they will find a way to please each other and get the other person to change their opinion of him.
But in fact, not only will they feel very aggrieved, but it will also have no effect. So if you want to change that, you have to be confident. Because only if you are confident enough, then you don't need to please others, and there will even be others to please yourself.
In fact, people with a pleasing personality are also very face-loving, so they never take the initiative to admit that they are pleasing each other in front of others. Because they themselves feel that it is a very shameful thing to please others, but they can't help but not please others.
I hope that no matter who you are, you must make yourself confident, because only if you are confident enough, then no one will dare to bully you, and you don't have to please others. You must believe in yourself and be better than others.
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I think the people-pleasing personality is formed by family factors, because the relationship between the two is very close, and parents are the first teachers of children, so I think the people-pleasing personality is formed by family factors.
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It may be because of low self-esteem, insufficient self-awareness, and self-confidence by pleasing others, so such a personality is formed.
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This kind of person has no sense of security since childhood, parents are not by the side of their children, and parents often deny their children, so they will develop such a character.
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In fact, the main reason for the formation of a people-pleasing personality is that they are not confident enough. People with this kind of personality are generally very unconfident in themselves, and even they feel that they are particularly bad. And if a person is not confident, then he will worry that others will not like him, or even hate himself.
So in order to make others like themselves, they will choose to please each other, and even they themselves think that as long as they can make the other party like themselves, then they will actively please each other. And this kind of person generally cares about what others think of them. So they want to make a good impression on others.
will try very hard to please the other party. So as long as you are confident enough, then it is impossible to have a people-pleasing personality. Because confident people never care what others think of them.
And they don't think they're worse than everyone else.
In fact, the people-pleasing personality will be particularly humble whether it is at work or in study. Because the more you try to please others, the more they will look down on them. Or even bullying them at will.
And these people never take the initiative to admit that they are trying to please others. Because they also have self-esteem, if they admit that they are pleasing others, then they will also feel that they are particularly shameless. So these people are usually very distressed, and they don't understand why other people don't like them, or even bully them.
I hope everyone can be confident, because everyone was conceived and born by their mother in October, so everyone is unique, so there is no need not to be confident, you must believe in yourself, better than anyone else. And there are no perfect people in this world, so everyone has shortcomings, if you feel that you have more shortcomings, then you must also have advantages, so you must be good at discovering your own strengths in order to make yourself more confident. And don't try to please people, because it's too tiring.
Only when you become confident will others like it.
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The formation of pleasing personality is mostly related to childhood experience, and the influence of the family occupies a large part, especially in some families where the parents' feelings are not very harmonious, because the child has no sense of security, and if he wants to get the care and love of his parents, he can only use the method of pleasing him, and over time he has developed a habit, and he will continue to do so in society and work in the future.
If in childhood, parents do not give the child enough love, will make the child particularly insecure, the child is always in a state of not being loved, will be eager to get the love of the parents, when he finds that he has done something, to be able to get the praise of the parents, will slowly develop this habit, in order to get praise and deliberately please the parents, this practice has achieved its own purpose, so that the child's heart has developed such a thinking, as long as to please others, you can get friendly treatment from othersThis is how most people-pleasing personalities are formed.
There are also some people with low self-esteem in their hearts, always feel that they have no advantages, and there is no place that can be liked by others, only if they pay more in this relationship, can they get the sense of identity of others, so whether they are getting along with friends or colleagues, they will unconsciously please each other, and even when they talk and do things, they will always pay attention to each other's emotional changes, and if there is a little bit wrong, they will immediately change to a better attitude, and over time the pleasing personality is formed. But after a long time, you will find that this personality brings you more of a sense of exhaustion. If parents don't want their children to develop this kind of pleasing personality, then they should give their children enough security in the process of education, be by the child's side, praise him more, care about him, and gradually the child will be more confident, and will not feel that he needs to please himself, so that others can identify with him.
Every people-pleasing personality has actually been hurt in the past, and we should be kind to them in the face of such people, and never take all their practices for granted, let alone take advantage of this personality.
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1.When he was young, he was not valued by his family, 2The living environment is very poor, 3Parents often quarrel and fight, 4Low self-esteem, insecurity, 5Less than a friend caused.
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The pleasing strict type is generally such that children are more sensible from an early age, know how to understand the emotions of the people around them, and their hearts are generally more sensitive and more concerned about external views.
The people-pleasing personality is: there is no bottom line to be a good person, no matter what others ask for, they will help others, for fear of offending people. I'd rather be wronged than offended by others. The performance of flattery is to show great enthusiasm for the right, to send food and play, to be obedient and obedient, and to obey each other in everything.
The pleasing personality, also known as the people-pleasing personality or the pandering personality, has the advantage of being observant, friendly, considerate, humble, sensitive, delicate and empathetic, and will easily win better interpersonal relationships. >>>More
It is related to the fact that parents expect too much from their children, parents are used to rewarding their children, spoiling their children, not correcting mistakes, and the parents' own personality.
The obvious trait of the people-pleasing personality is that it is sensitive, and this type of person is always very sensitive to the needs of others. People with a people-pleasing personality are very quarrelsome with others or have any conflicts.
The people-pleasing personality means that he wants to do more actions to get the other party to be recognized by him, and he may give up some of his principles and ideas to accommodate others, hoping to leave some good impressions in the hearts of others.