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It is said that "raising children can prevent old age", and when parents are old, they naturally want us to be by their side. But in order to achieve our dreams and achieve financial freedom as soon as possible, we must be independent and self-reliant, we must travel away from home to a big city full of opportunities and challenges, and we must get used to being busy and hard – but at the same time, we must be less accompanied by our families.
It's brutal, but at least at some stage, we have to make trade-offs.
Parents "don't appreciate it", on the one hand, it may be that they already have some opinions about your current work, and on the other hand, they may not be used to your habit of spending money "lavishly". Because I was "scared of poverty" when I was a child, my parents still maintain an outrageous thrifty habit: in order to save 1 yuan in the bus fare, they walked from a few kilometers away to their destination; In order to get a few cents cheaper, I can run around four or five vegetable markets.
My mother didn't let me throw away the old clothes I eliminated, so I had to make my own vests, chest protectors and other things and wear them for a while. This concept of consumption is engraved in the bone marrow of life in a long period of difficult times, and it is still ingrained in their minds even if living conditions are getting better today.
The subject's innocence in buying gifts for his parents is certainly valuable, but maybe your parents don't need the things you buy. The older generation is often very frugal and can't get used to you buying these "useless" things. In your eyes, you are doing your filial piety, and in the eyes of your parents, you only think you are a waste.
Many parents always feel that they are from the past, and their own experience is the most correct. They don't understand and don't want to understand the world we live in.
Some time ago, there was a hot question "How do you think about 'Peking University international students writing 10,000-word long essays, falling out of their parents' excessive care, and not returning during the Spring Festival in 12 years?" ”。
Among them, Wang Meng's parents represent a very typical type of Chinese parents: a desire to control their children more than respect. They want their children to do what they want, and they care more about "having the right attitude" and more about what people around them think than what they feel.
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When giving parents gifts during the New Year's holidays, many parents will scold you for spending money indiscriminately, while gladly accepting gifts, but there are also particularly tough ones, not only do not accept gifts but also spend money on you to do things, pointing fingers, if it is the New Year, it is even more so, from the beginning of the year to the end of the year. But after listening to their series of nagging, the central idea is one, don't buy them gifts, they don't need them. <>
Are they really unnecessary? Not necessarily, more often than not, it will feel sorry for your hard work outside, feel sorry for your efforts, no matter how old you are, in the eyes of your parents, they are the big trees that shelter you from the wind and rain, you just need to enjoy these years of peace and well. It is said that where the money is placed, the heart is there, and where the love and care are placed, the heart is there.
But we also need to understand what parents do, after all, parents and we have different ideas about consumption. Just as Xiao Yao is a post-80s generation, many of them have gone through historical changes, laid-off reforms, and they are still cautious in their hearts.
Let's take a small example, when going out to take a taxi, every parent would rather spend half an hour waiting for the bus, plus standing for an hour without a seat, and shouting back pain when they come back, but they are not willing to take a taxi directly. <>
This is the way of thinking, they don't calculate the cost of waiting for the bus, the extra cost of standing for too long and making themselves uncomfortable and taking medicine. It is said that they only look at the present and do not look at the future, but the fundamental reason is still the solid state of living habits and consumption concepts.
So when you buy a product that is not satisfactory, or even if it is satisfactory, but it is not something they don't know about, parents will feel that this is a waste, which will inevitably cause some family conflicts. Thinking about this, it is also a relief for parents.
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1.Show feelings of gratitude and affection. Whether or not you really like gifts, parents should show their children genuine gratitude and affection.
This will make your child feel recognized and respected, and it will also boost your child's self-confidence and motivation for good behavior.
2.Give positive feedback. Parents can express their feedback in positive language, such as:
This gift is really amazing, you really think it through", "I really like this gift, it's one of the best gifts I've ever received". This will make your child feel responsible and supported, and it will also boost your child's motivation and confidence for the future.
3.Share your child's interests and needs. If the child gives a gift that the parent does not like, it may be because the child does not understand the parent's interests and needs, parents can share each other's interests and needs with the child, so that the next time the child gives a gift, it can be closer to the parents' needs and hearts.
In conclusion, parents should keep an open mind, respect their children's creativity and heart, and educate their children on how to better understand their parents' needs and preferences.
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I think your parents are afraid that you will spend money indiscriminately, and hope that you can save more money, which may be useful in the future, and they don't like the gifts you give her, but they hope that you will live a better life.
What is the purpose of parents rejecting their children's hearts?
1.As soon as most parents hear that their children want to buy them something, they don't want this or that, and do everything possible to prevent their children from spending money for them.
No matter how cheap you say, they feel like it's a waste.
We all know this resistance from our parents. In addition to buying things, Wu Min is really undesirable, it is nothing more than feeling sorry for your money.
2.Every time I go home and bring something even if it is not much, it attracts complaints: I don't know how to save, spend money indiscriminately, buy without waste and other accusations come to my face, in fact, I know that my parents complain that they are distressed is true, in fact, I still like it very much, I remember once I bought clothes for my parents, they counted me down, and they couldn't wait to put them on, and they were reluctant to take them off, and the joy was difficult to hide.
The mobile phone I bought for my father, I had to give me money, I said that it was a reward for him to tie in to rest assured, but the result was endless, harassing me every day, calling me to eat, in fact, let me teach him to play.
3.I believe that many parents are like this, every time they complain about their children spending money to buy things, they are still the happiest in their hearts, and from time to time they love to show off among their peers: what did my baby buy for me, and the bear child didn't know how to save at all, etc., in fact, I guess my heart is happy.
Therefore, within the scope of their own ability, if they can give their parents more things they need, buy more, if they feel that they don't need it, they will stuff them with a red envelope, although they are reluctant to spend the money like a miser, but this is also a kind of satisfaction, just be happy.
In fact, there are many parents in rural families who are still at a low level of economic survival, and in this case, compared with those parents who have no worries about food and clothing, and the economic support given by their children is "filial piety" for them.
Therefore, if you can buy it, it is best to buy it in their hearts, it is what they need, if it is really that their parents don't like it or can't use it, then they are really distressed.
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In fact, it's not that your parents don't want to give you a gift, they are happy when they see the gift you gave him, but why refuse? Because they know that it is not very easy for you to support your family now, and they are afraid that you will spend more money and cause you to be burdened, so they will choose to reject your heart and tell you not to buy these things in the future, so they are thinking about you.
Reasons why parents don't accept gifts from you.
2.Why parents treat themselves harshly.
Parents are overjoyed with their child's arrival.
As a parent for the first time, in the face of the soft little life in his arms, there will always be a thousand tenderness, and he wants to do his best to give him the best time.
In life, there are still ordinary people, not so rich, what is the value of the best everything?
Once it exceeds the current ability of the parents, the parents will feel infinitely guilty and begin to treat themselves harshly in order to give the baby the best life.
Please do not refuse gifts from your children.
From the moment when they know the existence of their children to the time when they understand the hard work and dedication of their parents and then to the ability of their children to repay their parents, it is a long road of life in the middle, and parents have gradually grown from green hair to white hair, from straight flat limbs and backs to being bent over by the burden of life. There are no words to express the hardships in between.
Dear parents, please do not refuse the gifts of your children because you still have the ability to earn money or do not want to burden your children who have just entered society, because that is the most sincere gratitude and deepest love of your children.
Dear parents, please believe that your carefully cultivated children have the ability to support themselves and repay you, please accept this gift that carries the love of your children, because you are worthy.
The tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the child wants to raise but does not wait. This is the deepest and most helpless regret in the world, and it is also a regret that no matter how much you do, you don't feel enough.
With all of us still having time for each other, let this regret be a little less, a little less.
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As a parent, generally will not refuse the child's wishes, unless the child's home is more difficult or bought more expensive things, parents are unwilling to accept the child to break the bank, normally speaking, like a relatively small child, parents will be very happy, let alone refuse, indicating that the child is sensible, grow up and learn to respect parents. Acre.
A gift to your parents and father, a gift to your father, is a traditional virtue, a traditional virtue of filial piety. Gifts for parents are indispensable, but in the heart. Let's talk about what to give as a gift.
Father's love is like a child, and there is a child's dream, so no matter what is the parent, so, you have to do it first, than a family, they don't care what your gift is.
I'm a little confused, the above child bought a mobile phone with his own money to give to his parents, parents will be angry, I don't know what this parent thinks, this is a piece of the child's heart, if he doesn't love his parents, why would he give her a mobile phone? Isn't it better to send the old chain to someone else?
If this refuses the child's attraction, then the child will be very sad, he may think that his parents do not love him or give gifts at all, parents do not like it, he will also be very disappointed, he has worked hard to save money to buy gifts for his parents, but get such a return.
It will also affect the relationship between parents and children, and maybe the child will be depressed and develop a withdrawn personality.
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In the face of gifts that children don't like, parents should show tolerance and understanding, and take this opportunity to teach children how to express love correctly. Here are some suggestions to help you cope with this situation:
1.Show gratitude: First, be sincere in showing your child for choosing a gift for you. Let your child know that you value their heart, even if the gift isn't to your liking.
2.Educate your child: Take the opportunity to educate your child about other people's preferences and guide them to consider the recipient's needs and preferences when choosing gifts. Tell your child that a good gift is a better way to show love and respect than an expensive gift.
3.Communicate patiently: Communicate openly with your child and tell them why you don't like the gift and what kind of gift you would like to receive. Through communication, let your child understand the needs and expectations of your companion oak.
4.Show tolerance: Respect your child's choices, even if the gift doesn't meet your expectations. Accommodating your child's mistakes will help them develop their self-esteem and self-confidence.
5.Play with the educational significance of the gift: While this gift may not be to your liking, try to turn it into an opportunity to educate your child.
6.Create surprises: Encourage your child to create surprises for you on special occasions, such as hosting a family gathering, making handmade gifts, etc. This strengthens the parent-child relationship and allows the child to experience the joy of creation.
7.Develop a sense of reciprocation: Help your child build a sense of reciprocation by sharing gifts they love. Let them understand that caring for others is reciprocal, and that while receiving gifts, they should also know how to reciprocate the love of others.
In short, in the face of gifts that children don't like, parents should show tolerance and understanding, educate children on how to correctly express love, and at the same time give full play to the educational significance of gifts. Through open communication and positive guidance, we help children develop the right values and attitudes towards life.
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