A few philosophical text messages! Write more funny, funniest text messages, classics of classics!

One day, 3 people get lost in the forest and encounter an ogre. The ogre seized them, and the leader said to them, "As long as you fulfill one of my conditions, I will let you go." The first condition is to go to the forest and pick 10 identical fruits.

The first man came back and took 10 apples, and the leader said that the second condition was that one was not allowed to make any movement or chew one bite at a time. He was so uncomfortable after eating the first one that he was killed. The second man came back and got 10 strawberries, but the leader still let him eat them one by one, but when he got to the ninth, he suddenly laughed and was killed.

When you get to heaven, the first person asks the second person, "Why are you laughing when you can survive?" The second man said, "I saw our companion bring back 10 pineapples...

It is an honor to love you, it is a responsibility to think of you, it is a pleasure to see you, it is a kind of moving to dream about you, it is a happiness to chase you, it is a sin to be angry with you, I will cherish you and love you forever!

I think you're almost done thinking about it, my eyes are blue crying in the middle of the night, and I don't want to be hungry for fish-flavored shreds, Zhao Benshan can be called Sun Nan, and I want to hurt myself when I cry!

Oh, dear, I dream of you at night, I think of you during the day, I still think of you when I eat and drink.

Message sent incorrectly] Sorry!

Slept.?Pigs go to bed so early. Haven't slept yet.?Dogs are always so energetic. I want to curse.?Monkeys are always so impatient.

Want to hit me.?Bears are always so rough. Just ignore me, that's the style of a turtle.

It's raining, and it's Yun'er crying;

If you lose you, you lose love;

The wind is tired and has to go to sleep;

The sunset is drunk and about to fall;

I'm tired of singing;

Look at Duan Xin's pig, it's time to feed it!

I miss you like to: stir-fry without salt, apples are not too sweet, drink less smoke, go shopping and forget to bring money I will miss you when I am free, I will miss you when I am not free, I will miss you when I am not free, I will not do anything if I can't spare time, just miss you!

I dreamed of you yesterday. You were swimming in boiling water, and I was frightened when I saw it, so I hurriedly called you up. You don't dump meSay it loudly to me, what is the roar, I haven't heard of dead pigs, and they are not afraid of boiling water.

The farthest distance is not that we are separated by two places, but that I stand in front of you and you don't know that I love you!

There are thousands of beauties in the world, it's a pity not to change wives! There is no thief in the heart, but he can only pray in his heart, begging for the change of national policy, his wife can be changed often, if the wish can be realized, give a ** and don't do it!

The tree has heart eyes, the beauty of the west, the hand supports the chin, the person is beside you, the heart is dead, talking about himself, ten pieces of furniture, a white spoon, both children and daughters, and live together! Guess ten words. (It's really hard to forget you.) )

The Great Wall will never fall, I want you to say good holidays, the spring breeze has passed the Yumen Pass, I wish you a quadruple of your salary, every festival is more than a family, every month takes more funds, Guilin's mountains and rivers are the best in the world, and the banknotes are under the pillow!

The Buddha said: The Mid-Autumn Festival is coming, be kind, and learn to be good to people, especially the person who texts you now! Treat him to dinner often and buy her gifts! Give him all the money for your sin! Wonderful.

God says: Happiness is a grateful heart, a healthy body, a satisfying job, a person who loves you deeply, and a group of trusted friends. You'll have it all!

Family Shunzhi, Life, Kangxi, Character, Yongzheng, Career, Qianlong, Wanshijiaqing, Future, Daoguang, Internal and External Tongzhi, Qianqiu Guangxu, Wanzhong Xuantong!All the emperors of the Qing Dynasty wish happiness and happiness!

Just join the blacklist and treat him as a fart.

It's not going to take money, so why should he save the text message as evidence.

It's best not to reply, the purpose of this kind of text message may be to also cause you to get bored, and then let people click in, this kind of risk is still very large.

There is no danger of sucking fees, but prevention begins with the beginning, it is best not to do it so risky, it is possible to get your response, the other party will be more unscrupulous to you is almost all-round blackmail and blackmail, which inadvertently provides the other party with a target that can be locked, after all, the other party takes the way of casting a wide net, as long as you respond no matter which way, it will bring a certain degree of danger to yourself.

Your best practice is to call ** with the corresponding bank or go directly to the bank for verification, and make sure that you have not had this kind of behavior, and pull the ** number that sent you a message into the blacklist, which can reduce interference to a certain extent, and at ordinary times, do not exchange your ** number to others at will, especially after receiving the express, remember to destroy personal information, do not give criminals and fraudsters a chance.

1. The existence of anything has two sides, although the singles in the world are lonely, there is also a perfect moment: 11:11:11 on November 11, long live the singles.

2. Don't say you don't have money, don't say you're not handsome, you have a broad chest, in fact, you are very cute, shake your little fist, shake your cool hair, smile evilly, take the steps of a cow, and walk towards the girl in your crush. Happy Singles' Day.

3. In order to thank friends for their care over the years, in order to repay their long-term care, and in order to end the outstanding struggle of their single friends, the contemptible people decided to gather everyone to meet in the grove tonight, and then each person will send a little fat girl in the woods pigsty - piglets.

Before the 11th of the month, I send you 1111 wishes. Bless you: happy every 1 day, relaxed every 1 week, healthy every 1 month, harvest every 1 year, happy forever! Happy Singles' Day!

5. There are no gifts on Singles' Day this year. . . Only accept girlfriends as gifts... The shelf life is a lifetime, young and beautiful, gentle and graceful, and many people are not strange. . . Happy Singles Day!

6. Singles' Day is here, I wish the world's male singles, female singles, big singles, small singles, who used to be singles and are still singles, who used to be singles and are now doubles, and who were once doubles and are still singles, and who were once doubles and are still singles!

7. Longing for true affection, more urgent than others; Pursue perfection and be more persistent than others; Sometimes lonely, but quiet; Sometimes scared, but more determined. Who will understand the sincerity of a single person? Be a happy single, happy Singles' Day!

8. Whether it's a rainy day or a snowy day, just take care of yourself; Whether it's Singles' Day, Valentine's Day, or happy holidays; I wish you good health, good mood, and find a good match soon!

This year, there will be no gifts for the holidays, and only brain platinum will be given as gifts.

1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during the battle? The company grew up annoyed: What can I do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price. 2. I received your message for a long time, I am very distressed, I think of death, I have cut a pulse with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, jump over the building with a parachute, hang myself with noodles, but I am dead, you will invite me to have a meal, support me to death 3, If you feel that you are digging cold in your heart, please call my **!

Please press 1 to talk about feelings, press 2 to talk about work, press 3 to talk about life, press 5 to introduce me to the object, please talk straight to dinner, and please hang up if you want me to borrow money. 4. The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later the giraffe filed for divorce: I don't want to live this kind of jumping up and down anymore!

The monkey was furious: Leave or leave! Who has ever seen a kiss and have to climb a tree!

5. The fish said, "I keep my eyes open all the time because I am reluctant to leave by your side." "The water said:

I flow tirelessly all day long to surround you and hold you tight. The pot said, "It's almost ripe and so much."

6. Have you eaten? Please receive a text message. The elephant lined up the stool on the road**, and an ant happened to pass by, and it looked up at the cloud-shrouded peak, and couldn't help singing:

Yalasuo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! 7. You have grown up, and there are some things that you should know: the sky is used for wind and rain; The earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I'm here to prove how great humanity is; You're using it for stewed vermicelli.

Stick scrape, stick scrape, stick scrape! 9. Money can buy a house but can't buy a home, you can buy marriage but you can't buy love, you can buy clocks but you can't buy time, money is not everything, but the source of pain, give me your money and let me bear the pain alone! 10. God, it's too blue!

The sea, too salty! Life is too difficult! Work, too annoying!

And you, fate! Miss you, insomnia! See you, too far!

Alas, what can I do with this? I can't eat chopsticks or swallow bowls! 11. Send you 12 zodiac signs, I wish you to be as smart as a mouse, strong as a cow, bold as a tiger, cute as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, docile as a sheep, naughty as a monkey, beautiful as a chicken, loyal as a dog, and look like a pig!

12. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the gibbon's poop, and the gibbon gently and carefully helped them scrub it clean and they fell in love, and others asked how they came together? The chimpanzee said with emotion: Ape droppings!

It's all ape dung!