How American men deal with the conflict between mother in law and daughter in law

Family is the most important part of a person's life, and being able to live in harmony with her husband's family is a very important relationship and interpersonal communication. But in fact, many people don't even get along with most of their husband's family. Here are some possible workarounds.

First of all, communication is an important step. Don't be afraid to communicate with your husband's family, no matter how big or small the problem is. If you find something wrong with their behavior or words that you are uncomfortable with, you can resolve it by talking to them directly.

Sometimes many misunderstandings and conflicts are caused by a lack of communication. If you have a channel of communication, you can also have more opportunities to get to know their thoughts and opinions, which will help you understand each other and build a friendly relationship.

Second, try to embrace the different cultures and habits of your family. Sometimes different families have different cultures and habits. Despite the differences, you can try to understand the differences, learn to accept some of the behaviors that have become cultural habits of them, and think and understand them from the perspective of the other family.

Listening to their thoughts, opinions, and habits, understanding the influence of their right values and cultural background, actively listening and understanding them, and expressing their opinions can build a sense of mutual respect, understanding, and welcome.

Third, focus on common ground. One of the most important aspects of family relationships is teamwork, so you need to try to expand the commonalities with some of the members' topics and interests, find common ground, and build bridges to maintain a friendly relationship. Still in terms of example and vision, recommending some cultural information and finding the intersection of each other's interests and hobbies can be broken!

ParentingThe concept is different

In China, when the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is mentioned, words such as natural enemies, incompatibility, and the war of the century are associated with a headache. In the United States, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is relatively harmonious and "romantic". So what is the reason why there is such a big gap between China and the United States on the issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, I think it is because China and the United States have different views on parenting issues.

In China, the purpose of raising children is to prevent old age. Therefore, many mothers-in-law regard their sons as their private property, even if their sons have become adults and have a family, they will still habitually treat their sons as children, as if they will never grow up, which is also the reason why a large number of "mom bao men" have emerged in today's Chinese society. And the daughter-in-law seems to be the natural enemy, they think that the daughter-in-law is here to rob their son with them, and even think that the daughter-in-law should be like themselves and do their best to take care of their son.

Therefore, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China has always been very acute, and it has been a problem since ancient times. But in the United States, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very romantic, and the concept of parenting in Americans is simply for the reproduction of human beings. Therefore, after the son gets married, the mothers-in-law will not interfere too much with the son and daughter-in-law.

Because Americans are very open-minded, they don't quarrel over trivial things or anything like that.

There are, but less, and this has to do with their concept of parenting, in the eyes of Americans, when the child is an adult, he will not be responsible for it, and he will not interfere too much in his life.

The culture of Americans is different from ours, generally after marriage, they are far away from their parents, and children will only be fostered in their mother-in-law's house under special circumstances, so they will not see each other, and it is unlikely to cause problems.

So why is there no mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contradiction in the United States? Simply put, it's cultural differencesAmericans don't raise children to provide for their old age, they prefer personal independenceAfter the child reaches the age of 18, the parents are not obliged to continue to raise them, and the parents will not be too involved in the child's private affairsSo there will be no contradictions. But in China, the Chinese people pay attention to "filial piety first", adults have to raise children, children have to take care of the elderly when they become adults, and housework will always be mixed together, although it seems polite, but often the grievances are deeper.

1. Problems left over from history.

For a long time, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China has been relatively tense, and few women can deal with the contradictions. To put it simply, the mother-in-law also came from the daughter-in-law, and the unequal treatment they experienced is likely to reappear in their own daughter-in-law, which is more like a vicious circle, but no one can really solve it.

2. I don't want to divide my son's love.

3. There is a generation gap between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

There must be a generation gap between the older generation and the young people of today, not to mention the mother-in-law, even if it is their own parents, they can't bear some behaviors. But your parents are their own people after all, and they will not "hold grudges", but mothers-in-law are different, they are likely to add fuel to your behavior and "run to tell each other", and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law war is about to break out.

The mother-in-law problem in China may continue for many more years。But if everyone takes a step back in the process of getting along, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be too complicated, after all, there are many good mothers-in-law and daughters-in-lawTherefore, whether it is a mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law, it is best to find the reason in yourself.

Less contact is actually a very effective way to reduce the occurrence of conflicts, because less contact can make the relationship between the two parties more harmonious, not to see the shortcomings of the other party, only to see the advantages of the other party, only in some very special cases will see the shortcomings, but also to be able to endure itAfter all, it's just a short time to get together, and after a while, the other party will still live their own lives and not have much contact.

Because Americans live differently than we do, there is generally no contradiction.

Because the distance between them and their mother-in-law is actually relatively far, there is generally no intersection.

Because Americans think differently than we do. So there won't be.

Because the American parents-in-law and sons, daughters-in-law and children all live separately.

Because Americans basically live independently, there is no conflict.

Because they are relatively independent, they generally don't have anything to do with their mother-in-law.

Americans' values are completely different from those of Chinese people, and they are all very independent.

I think Americans are very free and independent in their daily lives, and they don't see their mother-in-law many times.

Because most Americans generally live alone, they don't live with their in-laws.

Daughter-in-law fights have always been a successful philosophy of Chinese family life, so did you know? In such a relatively independent family in the UK, how is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law matched? How did they deal with it?

Psychologist Dr. Sheila Rosen believes that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the same as the relationship between mother and daughter, and the key lies in how deep a person's feelings for their mother are. "Mother-daughter relationships are different from other relationships," he said. Mother and daughter don't hold grudges.

Even if they quarrel, they reconcile quickly because that's a very different relationship that came from our mother. But he also said that if you don't have a good relationship with your mother-in-law, you don't have a good relationship with your mother. Generally speaking, women in the daughter-in-law's generation are very disdainful of their mothers and mothers-in-law, and their relationships with their elders are not handled well.

It's not just a matter of mother-in-law and daughter-in

Dr. Rosen also believes that the biggest obstacle among women in the UK is jealousy. The daughter-in-law will be jealous of the intimacy between her mother-in-law and her husband. The mother-in-law will want her daughter-in-law to take care of her son, but the two aspects are not coordinated, resulting in a disagreement between the daughter-in-law.

However, even if an English woman uses sharp and mean words to sarcastically mock each other, she will not fight with the other person.

In the UK, the most common way to resolve conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to talk. Because they maintain the most basic etiquette, if there is any contradiction, and the demeanor of sitting down and communicating. If the mother-in-law says something unpleasant, the daughter-in-law will choose to say it directly:

Count or are you unhappy? Why aren't you happy? You can tell me what I'm doing wrong.

The reason why the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in Britain is not so intense is because they both appreciate each other's advantages. There are also benefits to hating people, even if you don't usually have friends. For example, the mother-in-law seriously helps the daughter-in-law clean up the kitchen, and the daughter-in-law will thank the mother-in-law very much or invite the mother-in-law to have a snack.

People who do this often, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict will not be so bad.